Tuning in…
Tuning in…
Castaway
1 appearance
Actor best known for playing the MC in Cabaret, and for his activism for gay rights and humanitarian causes.
On the island
Eight records
I've chosen it because I feel it really represents a very I mean it's a beautiful song … would make me feel incredibly emotional and connected to Scotland because it's about a wee man who is a council worker and it's about aspiration and about no matter what lowly job you have, you've got these dreams and you understand beauty.
L'Amour Looks Something Like You
Kate Bush who was actually a person who during that time in my teenage years was a complete inspiration to me and completely a sort of a light in this darkness because I sort of would listen to her albums and think, oh there are fascinating weird people out there and I'm not as bonkers and unusual as I thought.
Freddie Mercury and Montserrat Caballé
If you don't feel emotional and exuberant by the song, I think you must be dead.
just to remind me of that remix, but also I do love this song and I do love these people
the expression of it really sort of sums up that kind of resurgence and joy and love that I felt.
Give Me Back My HeartFavourite
the best perfect pop song ever made, ever sung, ever written, ever produced. It's produced by Trevor Horne. It's the ultimate builder. It's got about sixty four key changes. Just when you think it's finished, no, no, here's another bit now. I think it's genius.
it just makes me think of my childhood, it makes me think of Scotland and it makes me think of my place in the Catskills.
In conversation
Presenter asks
2:22What made you decide to do [the Robert Burns solo dance piece]?
It was sort of an accident, like most of these things are. You know, when I was doing cabaret the last time on Broadway, I turned 50 during it, and that was one of the reasons why I did it actually. Because I just thought, I wonder if I can still do this, you know, physically. It was a big dance sort of thing. And at the end of the run, I just thought, oh, this is it. Nobody's going to ask me to do this again. I'll never be this fit. I'll never dance this way. And it made me really sad. I just actually felt this is the beginning of the end. And so I thought, I've got one more thing in me. And so I kind of put that out to the universe.
Presenter asks
6:04What was going on at home? What was going on with your dad?
My dad was very violent to us, very violent. He was out of control. You know, now after years of therapy, he's obviously had some sort of mental illness, but he took it out on us. He had lots of very open affairs. I didn't care what m my mum thought or my brother in line. He was very, you know, abusive to mentally, emotionally, very physically to me and my brother. And sometimes I thought I terror for my life. I actually … And you think, oh my god. That I'm gonna die here.
Presenter asks
7:33And what about your mum? How did she deal with the situation back then? She must have tried to protect you, to shield you?
The keepsakes
The book
Desert Gardening for Beginners: How to Grow Vegetables, Flowers, and Herbs in an Arid Climate
Kathy Cromwell, Linda A. Guy and Lucy K. Bradley
I think if I wasn't an actor, I'd like to be a gardener.
The luxury
I think the thing I will miss on the island is camaraderie, having a few drinks ... the feeling of altering my reality a little bit.
Makes the people he's abusing protect him. You're so ashamed of what's happening to you that you actually go out of your way not just to pretend to yourself but pretend to other people. So we all did that. And also, you know, she was terrified too. Well, I always felt completely loved by her. My dad, you know, literally told me I was worthless. And my mum told me I was precious. And I knew she was doing it because she was, well, she meant it, but also she was trying to counter my dad. But I knew they couldn't both be right. In a funny sort of way, that spectrum, the two ends of that spectrum, made me feel I had to make up my own mind about myself and about about life.
Presenter asks
17:21What was your response initially [to the offer to play the MC in Cabaret]?
No. I was like, oh no. I was like, I don't do musicals.
Presenter asks
21:34What happened [when you and your brother went to confront your father]?
First the buddy asked us to come into the house, and we couldn't. So we went on a walk around the grounds of the estate. And then in a funny way that was better because I remembered things more because of that, oh, we were at that gate when this when he said that, and we were down by this those trees when you know so we just told him why we were there, we told him that we remembered all these things, we tried to ask him why, we tried to ask him what he remembered. … Do you know, I tried not to be too therapy speaky. But that we both needed to give him this back because it wasn't ours. And we reached out to him and said. that we would like to … I said we still wanted him to be in our lives, but for that to happen he would need to make an effort, acknowledge what was going on and try to heal with us. And he never got in touch with us again. Then at the end when he walked away I think he had a tear in his eye. And then we walked to the car and we got in and we were both just shaking. It was, you know, euphoric. I faced my monster and I feel so much more courageous than him. That is some succor and comfort, I have to say.
Presenter asks
28:29After all that emotional turmoil, how would you describe your outlook on life today?
I've got great people in my life. I've got a very great partner and my husband Grant. And I've I'm doing things that excite me and challenge me and also I have fun, you know. I think it should be fun. I realize with Club Coming, my cabaret bar, I've made fun. Like my brother, when he first came to my house, I've got a house in the Catskills up in upstate New York, and he said, You've bought your childhood. … Silent mountainous. And Yes, it's a completely literature I grew up in. But it's on my terms now, you know?
“I always knew that I was going to get out. And I was going to live the life that I wanted to lead.”
“I faced my monster and I feel so much more courageous than him.”
“I have great despair, but I choose to stand in the light.”
“My criteria for liking anything actually in the arts and stuff, people and things, is gasping. Like if something makes me gasp, I think that's an amazing thing to do.”
“I think gardeners are very in touch with themselves and I think they're sexy.”