Tuning in…
Tuning in…
Castaway
1 appearance
Award-winning British stand-up comedian and chat show host, known for Chatty Man and the Friday Night Project, with seaside-postcard humour.
On the island
Eight records
Sister from TexasFavourite
And with Arifa Franklin, it just irritates me that everyone just plays, say a little prayer or think. I mean, she's got the most amazing back catalogue. Sister from Texas, the lyrics are just so amazing. And it's the B-side to Angel. You don't really hear much of it. And it's like a fortune cookie of a song because it's got little meanings in there that you sort of open it up and you go, oh yeah, I like that. And I just could listen to her voice forever.
Disco for me, I just loved it and I was the one um buying the flares from the uh charity shops and I just used to listen to disco. It was my release. This song just reminds me of dancing in my room and I remember my mum telling me, you know, your dad's downstairs, I can hear this music and she says, I know you're dancing'cause I can hear your flares flapping about.
This is from one of my favourite albums, Sign of the Times. I got to see him at a very intimate gig at Coco and it was just all killer, no filler. It was wonderful.
John Cicada Just Another Date. Now it's nice enough, but when I worked in a factory packing shampoo, this song was on all the time. ... This always reminds me of with my tape gun making up some boxes for shampoo.
Like I said, I do not want to be a stereotype. Um I I love Shirley Bassey. ... I love her, and I love this song, and it's just so intense, and I just love it.
Oh, this is Adele and it's one that she doesn't really sing much, and I just love it on the first album.
Me and my partner had a bit of a tough time last year and the beginning of this year. He went to a treatment centre for alcohol for six weeks and it was such a weird experience. ... I heard this on a playlist and I listened to it. ... it just came to me at the right point.
I love this woman's voice. I love the material she chooses. She's such a witty singer.
In conversation
Presenter asks
2:29Many comics are political. You're avowedly disinterested in politics. Why is that?
No governments are gonna collapse when you watch an Alan Carr show. It doesn't interest me, which is shocking to say. But um I don't think people want it at the end of the week. ... No comedy routine has ever changed any dictator, they've never brought a dictator down, they've never crushed a government. ... Why would you bother? Just have some ... [have a] laugh.
Presenter asks
3:11Your voice is instantly recognizable. When did you realize that it was unique?
Do you know I had the most awful thing about twelve, you know, um I did drama and then we said let's watch the play back. ... I was like, what's that voice? I was basically voguing. Anytime I relaxed, my hand was on my hip like a teapot. My voice soared like a seagull with its wing trapped somewhere. And I was like, no wonder I'm getting bullied.
Presenter asks
4:19How do you feel about it now [being called a camp icon]?
Camp gets a bad name and I really hate that fact. It's a wonderful British tradition, Camp. ... But I don't want to be this camp. But I'm like 42 now. I can't be bothered to change. And I'm stuck with this voice. But it is weird, you know, when I do stand up. I'm a bit like Mariah Carey. I have to protect it. Because if I don't reach those high notes, people complain.
The keepsakes
The book
I know you're meant to just have a book, but if you take the one book, you're going to get bored. And at least there's pictures.
Presenter asks
5:11So the seagull that you were referring to, you've got to be able to get up there.
Oh yeah, people want to hear that. I did an interview once with um Janet Street Porter, and it was basically like two seagulls fighting over a chip.
Presenter asks
13:16What was the bullying like? How extensive was that and how was it?
Oh, it was just um psychological really. But you know what? I'm not justifying bullying, but I'm sure I must have been annoying. ... I was never really a victim because I always thought they were losers.
Presenter asks
28:36There's quite a big conversation going on at the minute about LGBT representation in stand-up. I wonder how people and audiences react to you. Did you ever experience that homophobia?
But yeah, I mean that people see my career now always and I know and this is my problem because people go, oh Alan, Middle England's favourite gay, you know, like that. ... I don't get what I'm supposed to be. ... they say, oh, I'm representing gays on the telly. I'm like, but telly is a fantasy world. ... I don't represent gays. I represent myself. ... I feel like sometimes I get the blame for that, but you know, it's not an act, this is me, and so maybe that's why I find it a little bit hurtful.
“And I'm smiling now, but my God. It was like a punch in the stomach. Why didn't anyone tell me? And of course, they were telling me. The bullies were telling me every day. And like for a couple of weeks, I thought, Alan, stop being sacamp. I was actually thinking of getting like a suit of armour or something, you know, to put on to stop me mints. And of course, it was like telling the tide to go back. But it was just awful. I was just, I don't want to be like that.”
“He said, Alan, I wanted you to have friends and I wanted you to do something you loved like I love with football. And that's why I wanted you to be a football. So you've got friends. You've got 10 other guys in the team who will be your mates. He said, I know you've got it now.”
“But then do you know what? I was never really a victim because I always thought they were losers. And I had my friend Jenny. You know, we were never like, why are you doing this? Where did that come from?”
“I mean, kids today, they go through hell and the bullying doesn't just finish. It's all online now. ... In Northampton, I remember when Haley brought a gerbil in. Do you know what I mean? That just sums it up. That was, oh, Hayley's got a gerbil. So, in a way, me going all moaning, it's nothing what kids are up to these days.”
“I can genuinely say the best day of my life. The best day. She organised it all and paid for it. And I just said to her, How can I repay you? Ah, forget about that. I said, give me your account. I want to put some no! Martery. She's one of those people that I think has been put on this earth to make people feel a certain way.”
“Because like I said, there's always someone, camper younger with bigger teeth, coming round the corner. And I'm not going back to that call centre. And I tell you that now, I will fight. I'll be like one of those cats in Greece.”