Tuning in…
Tuning in…
Castaway
1 appearance
Activist and former Church of England archdeacon; first woman of colour appointed archdeacon, now campaigns against violence against women and girls and for pol
On the island
Eight records
As a a young teenager, we were all listening to Lovers Rock. My first husband was from Jamaica. His parents became my chosen parents. And Biba's favourite song was Hey Fatty Boom Boom. So the genre of reggae music for me is key. It holds a very special place in my heart.
I Know That My Redeemer Liveth (from Messiah)
Handel's Messiah was introduced to me by my sister Anne, who came out as gay in the sixties. and got into drugs and had to go into an institution. And one of the things that they did there was music therapy. … And this music gave me a window into Paradise. It was a moment of sheer bliss and shared peace that me and my sister shared together.
Well, I became a Mormon. I found comfort, and this is another one of these chosen families. In the Mormons, and the music coordinator she loved theatre and she said, I've got a ticket for Blood Brothers. … This song that we're going to listen to in a minute, it's called Easy Terms. And every time I hear it, I well up with tears because it's about someone who is using not appropriate debtors, you know, people who give you money. I remember living through this myself. My mum would have borrowed money and he'd be he'd come round for the money and my mum would say, Go downstairs and say I'm not in. and it just reminded me of how hard it must have been for my mum not to be able to provide what she would have loved to provide, and the sleepless nights she must have had about how she was going to keep everything together.
Military Band of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards
So as a a good Scottish girl, I love the bagpipes and the drums, and so we're going to listen to Amazing Grace from the military band of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards.
Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie
We are the world. The artists who sang on this were my music story with my sister and she would sing the main and I would be the backup singer and I would play the bunk beds so I would be the percussion and you know I'd do the do-ups and and I just couldn't choose an artist. I couldn't choose so I thought why not have them all? … And I love that idea of I think there was a note on the door, leave your ego at the door. It is people who have a lot of power Taking time out of their lives to do something good. for the world. … That's my message of hope. There are so many more good people than there are bad. It's just the bad people can be so scary sometimes, but we don't let them win. We can't let them win.
Ne-Yo, Shaffer Smith, Tor Erik Hermansen, Mikkel S. Eriksen
Well, one of the things our family always did, we were a party family. One of the one of the performers I really enjoyed is Neo, and I got tickets. Neo came to the O Two a few years back, and I bought tickets for myself, Beber and Nicole. … And one of the songs I love is Miss Independent because it sums up how. My Girls Are How I Brought My Girls Up To Be To be women who know their femininity, happy to be who they are. They know themselves. They don't have to prove themselves to anybody. And when they enter a room, you think, oh yeah, they look good and they look confident.
Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick by Ian Dury and the Blockheads. This is for my monique my middle daughter. Lots of people ask lots of questions about Biba and Nicole, but I have three daughters. And recently, I've made a point of saying something about her. Because it's really hard to be the last one left behind. And I want her to know that she doesn't have to fill that gap. and that she's entitled to have a life. And Monique was not gifted with any sense of coordination. … But one day I had the radio on while I was doing some housework, and this song came on. And it was like someone had given her a blue ice pop. She was running around and this music, she was banging her head. And when it got to the chorus, hit me, hit me, hit me, she would go absolutely insane and run up and down. And it was just so lovely to see her so freed.
I Look to YouFavourite
I look to you and it's Whitney Houston. When the girls had their funeral, it was during COVID. You could only have, you know, no more than 30. Bearing in mind, we had two coffins there, and so we had people standing outside in the churchyard. And we did CDs rather than because we couldn't have the music. And this song reminds me of the funeral. On that day, there were so many people there to support us. … Yeah, this is important to me.
In conversation
Presenter asks
2:21How have you managed to turn yourself into such an effective [activist]?
Every time I hear that a woman has been murdered at the hands of a man, a woman, or a girl. I go into at least two days of mourning because I go back to that moment in time. And then I come out, right, okay, can I help these people? … I know I'm unusual that I'm doing this. But it's only because I've been equipped to do it. … I've always challenged authority. Don't tell me what I can and I can't do. … But it was the reaction from meeting women who have lost their daughters. They are not in a position to do what I do, but the love and support I receive from them is they are saying, you speak for me, I can't do what you do, but thank you for doing it.
Presenter asks
10:06How did you process that? How did you cope with that as a little girl?
I found alternatives and I met my first husband when I was quite young, uh, thirteen, and his mum oh my goodness. Her Jamaican name was Precious, and it couldn't have been more perfect for her, because she really was precious, and she took care of me like her own, and I loved her, and always will.
Presenter asks
19:14What was driving you [to go back to education]?
I just thought, I need more. I need more stimulation. So I went back to school, basically, because I was going to follow the model of my mother-in-law, Precious, who was a nurse. … I would stand up and say, right, I want to listen to this. If you don't want to listen, you leave now. I'm paying for this and you're spoiling it. … And so they conspired to get me to do their access course, which led to s teaching.
The keepsakes
The book
Wilkie Collins
When I went back to college, it was the English literature text, and it was the first time I'd read anything like that. And I loved it. I just thought it was so gripping. And interestingly, it had so many kind of resonated with me on so many different levels, you know, dysfunctional relationships and everything. And when we got to Ramsgate, there's a plaque just 200 yards away from us. Wilkie Collins lived here. And so often things come full circle for me.
The luxury
I think I'd go for hair moisturizer, a big tub of hair moisturizer, just to keep it a bit moist in the ton.
Presenter asks
32:57How did you begin to process that news on top of what you were already dealing with?
You've got nothing in the tank. You have nothing. … When he told us, I completely lost it. My language was so blue. … Everything about women who have been let down. … I have no words for them, and I will take them down and I was celebrating when those two were sent to prison.
Presenter asks
37:39How did you feel about that conclusion [that there was no racial bias]?
Sometimes racism doesn't have language. It's not verbalized. It's what you fail to do and what you communicate within the structures. … Give me the explanation why they didn't look for them. … My only hope is that I've made my point and they will do better.
Presenter asks
43:51How have you been able to pull each other closer instead of being torn apart by everything that's happened?
And we've never judged each other on how we grieve. … We have allowed each other the space that we need and we laugh together every opportunity we can. It's what keeps us going to find the joy in things where we can.
“You don't look like that. You look like Queen Cleopatra, and she was the most beautiful woman in the world.”
“I let out this primal scream. It comes from the core of your soul, really.”
“I've never in my entire life ever experienced a sense of there is no hope. That feeling of disconnection from the World.”
“Actually it was a gift. You know, we call it the grace of God. I don't even think about him, and when I'm talking to you now, I have no emotional connection. It's as though he doesn't exist.”
“Um nope. No, that hasn't happened. And I think the issue is it's to keep the fire alive that makes me want to continue to challenge institutions to do better.”