Tuning in…
Tuning in…
Castaway
1 appearance
Campaigner whose son Stephen's murder prompted shifts in public attitudes, law and policing; awarded OBE for community relations.
On the island
Eight records
Fallen SoldierFavourite
She's been very supportive of us and a family and when we had the the first big um memorial service over at St Martin Cinder Field, she performed that and I think that's probably the first time I heard it sung. I think you just conjure up how when Stephen eventually fell um after running um all those yards after he was attacked, especially within the lyrics about being a fallen soldier. So that's quite a good one for me.
When I was at school, all our friends when this came out, we used to have such fun dancing around in the playground thing. And I've always, always loved this music. I just think it just means quite a lot for me.
I remember my aunt, Aunt Lillian, taking me to the cinema to see it. And we did a lot of things together when I first came here. And so she used to take me to the cinema. And I just really remember watching this film and just seeing everybody dancing around. I think it was a happy time.
Something again as I was growing up, at eleven o'clock every night I used to have this little old-fashioned radio I used to listen to and um it's a pirate station in Radio Carolina used to come on. They used to play um post this sledge and wrap me new warm and turn to love and that was quite a soothing thing to fall asleep to and so I used to listen to this every night.
I heard it before, but it meant a lot more to me when Barack Obama became President of the United States. I think for a black man to achieve that. And I was there. I was in America. I went especially. I was out in a freezing cold like everybody else on the day. I was there. I was one of the two million people. I felt it was really important for me to be there. And so in the evening and they danced to this and it was just a lovely, lovely and Etiha Jane's just a beautiful singer. And so it meant a lot for me.
Garth Hewitt wrote this song about After Stephen's death, and the song is called Am You're Loved. When somebody dies like that and it was so sudden. You you wanted to think, do they know that you love them? You know, and having hearing this and and for me it meant so much that that the couple um I mean so there's some stuff around that, but the couple was supposed to say to Stephen this is the couple who who tried to help him as he was lying in the street who went to him after uh after he had collapsed and said to him, um, that you're loved.
At Stephen's funeral, um his friend Elvin had put together a compilation of all of Stephen's favourite music and out of all the music this is the one that really stuck in my mind.
Eric Clapton is a song that he did for his son when his son died and we had this song in fact Karina who is a family member she sang this at Stephen's funeral and so every time we have a big service we always have this for Stephen's. I think it means so much because as Eric Clapton's only son had died, you know tears in heaven which I think that's where I am.
In conversation
Presenter asks
1:18How does [your public profile and achievements] sit with you?
As a person? Um, is that you're talking about somebody else? Because part of that I don't recognize me. Um, the campaign in years definitely was me,'cause, you know, my son was special and I think what happened to him, I just wanted everybody to know and sort of learn about him. But all the other things, the OBE, I'd I would swap all of that, just have my son back.
Presenter asks
2:25How did that day [of the conviction of Gary Dobson and David Norris] feel for you?
We thought the jury are going to be at it a little bit longer than they were. And so when we were called down to say the jury is back. My heart was really beating very fast,'cause I think during the trial I couldn't I couldn't read the jury, I couldn't tell. And so my heart was in my mouth when we went back downstairs. And when they said guilty, I suppose I had to hold myself in from screaming out, I had to think'cause I had to press on one side'cause I never thought I'd hear um those words. I never thought I'd hear that someone's gonna be found guilty for Stephen's death. Never thought I'd hear it.
Presenter asks
3:58What was that evening like for you [after the trial ended]?
Um, I think some of my friends said that I shouldn't be on my own, so I had some friends around, and after they'd gone, it's like you don't know what to do with yourself after that because you don't know whether just you're going to start crying or jump in. You really don't know. So I think I probably had a cup of tea and silently went to bed. And I didn't sleep, I must admit, I just didn't sleep because too many things was going around in my head, too many things.
The keepsakes
The book
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Maya Angelou
And I think Maya Angelou's one, um, I Know Why the Cade Broads Sing.
The luxury
I'd I'd probably love to take some artist things with me then. There'll have to be some artistry things that I can create things. So it reminds me of, say, my children and probably what my young life as I was growing up.
Presenter asks
10:59Where was your mother? What had happened?
Um she had travelled to this country. Um she married and I was just left with my grandmother.
Presenter asks
18:23Did [your therapeutic counselling studies] help? Have you found actually the teaching useful?
Yes, I did,'cause it helped me to understand the grieving process that and was happening. I used to have these anxiety feelings. It helped me to understand what the what I was going through.
Presenter asks
23:43What do you think [Stephen] would have made of this incredible journey that you personally have made?
He would be quite astonished that I've done all of that. But at the same time, I think Steve would have been proud of me. As he was growing up, you know, the things we talked about and what I'd like to see him do, even though sometimes they said to me, Mum, you know what your problem is? He said, Mum, you care too much. and I remember those words that he said to me. I think if only he knew how much I did care at the time. But when your children are young, you take them for granted, you don't believe anything would happen to them.
“the OBE, I'd I would swap all of that, just have my son back.”
“I never thought I'd hear um those words. I never thought I'd hear that someone's gonna be found guilty for Stephen's death. Never thought I'd hear it.”
“I always wondered what was it about Stephen's name and what about Stephen? That seems to it's like they have a fear around his name and they want to wipe it away. And that I don't understand because at the end of the day, even in life, Stephen was no problem and no trouble to anybody, and in death, it certainly is not that.”