Tuning in…
Tuning in…
Castaway
1 appearance
Journalist and chief theatre critic for the London Evening Standard for 38 years, author of 'Defeat in the West'.
On the island
Eight records
Java Jive, 'cause that's the kind of idea. I I I thought of Whispering Grass and I thought of uh Do I Worry, but I decided that Java Jive is the the one that [Robin] and I could really do a duo to.
my mother used to have Caruso d singing La Donne Mobile and Gallicurche singing Lolo here, the gentle lock, and these were the sounds that I heard as a boy in Canada. They inculcated me with a love for melody.
Christina Ortiz (piano) with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra conducted by Moshe Atzmon
during the war when I was at MI14B I had a girlfriend in the Wrens and there was nothing more romantic than uh sitting on the steps of the hay market during the blackouts, it was full moon, and a little man used to trundle a piano uh around and play Ansel's Warsaw concerto, and there couldn't be anything more romantic than that.
as a theatre critic, one of the great delights of my life is, of course, the great musicals. And I do remember seeing My Fair Lady in New York. It always reminds me of the story of in those days it was almost impossible to get seats for My Fair Lady. And this woman was there about four or five weeks in, and she had an empty seat beside her. And the people behind her at the interval said, I'm sorry, ma'am, you know everybody's dying to get a seat. Wh what is this empty seat that you have beside you? And she said, Oh, well, we booked months before it opened, and it was for my husband, and he's died. Oh, they said, Well, didn't you have some friends or relatives you could have taken to fill that seat? Oh, she said, Couldn't do that. They're all at the funeral.
Capriccio ItalienFavourite
Concertgebouw Orchestra conducted by Bernard Haitink
One of the great noises, musical noises produced by Tchaikovsky was Capizzio Italiane, and I love the fantastic movement from somber, sinister moods and the whirling Neapolitan tarantella, and the loudest crescendo I have ever heard in any musical arena at the end.
we're all told um uh as critics that we can't do very much, but uh I have uh written, in addition to two novels, I've also written a number of children's books. One um about a pigeon called Preep uh who lives in Trafalgar Square and I used to tell this to my children. Uh this star I used to make up this story and um at the same time sang them a Russian lullaby which used to put them to sleep, Preep and a Russian lullaby.
You Call It Madness (But I Call It Love)
As you remember in my early life I um did sing, and my inspiration was a man called Russ Colombo, uh who uh then was starting out at the same time as Bing Crosby, and there was another man called Whispering Jack Smith. They all used to sing in this kind of whispering um melodic way, whi which which I l wanted to be. Uh I remember at a Private Eye lunch uh mis telling them this story, and uh whenever Private Eye writes about me they call me Whispering Milt, and the reason I'm called Whispering Milt is because of Russ Colombo.
Uh a September song. Uh it's a it's it's it's a dying fall of a song. It's probably appropriate for some someone of my age, sung by Walter Houston. And I um was born on the first of September, so I think it's an appropriate last song.
In conversation
Presenter asks
0:29You've lived here for some fifty years, Milton, but you only some ten years ago took British citizenship. Why did you suddenly do that?
Well, up until then, um Canadians were more or less British citizens. At least I thought that we were subject to the Queen. I didn't see any point in it. I had a certain loyalty to Canada. But when I tried to get public lending rights for the ten books that I've written, I discovered that I couldn't. So this annoyed me. Then I discovered very shortly afterwards that I could get double citizenship, that I didn't have to lose my Canadianship, and I could still be a British citizen. So I applied. And having applied, a year later, I still hadn't had any word from them. So I phoned them up one day and said, how long is it going to be before I get my British citizenship? And they said Oh, another year or so because of East African people, the huge Kew people. So I said, I just threw this off. I didn't mean anything. I just threw it off as a kind of fun thing. I knew that people like Lord Thompson had suddenly been made Canadians if they got a peerage. I said, if I got a peerage, if I were offered a peerage, would you hasten it up? So she said, well, oh, I don't know about that. She came back, went back and came back and said, well, yes, if you're going to be we'll make an exception in your case. And two weeks later, I got my citizenship, which shows you what the the sort of aura of aristocracy still means in the civil service.
Presenter asks
3:16But you trained as a lawyer, you came over here as Captain Schulman Intelligence Officer, and you went on to become a journalist. But if the truth be known, you really wanted to earn your living by singing, didn't you?
The keepsakes
The book
Constance Spry
I think I need sustenance for my body cause I can't slice a tomato or fry an egg. I'm absolutely hopeless. And there's Constance Spry's cookery book ... and if I ever leave that island if I ever survive it, I'd open up a restaurant in the West End.
The luxury
I love tennis and what I would like is a tennis ball machine ... I think with a tennis racket and that tennis ball machine I'd manage to keep myself amused.
Well, I think if if if if it hadn't been for hay fever, probably that was true. I probably would have would have continued as a crooner. But … I did it for a couple of summers … to help pay my way through university 'cause my parents didn't have much money.
Presenter asks
6:31But you ended up as Major Shulman and you ended up working directly to the War Cabinet, didn't you? What was your job?
I was in a thing called MI14B. Everybody knows what MI5 is, MI6, but very few people have ever heard of MI14B. And MI14B was the department dealing with what is known as German Order of Battle. And my job was to read all the intelligence reports that came from Europe mostly. Prisoner of war statements, pigeons. Pigeons used to be sent over to Dieppe or places like that with little questionnaires on their feet and people would answer them, send us what Germans had come into that area. From that we'd put the order of battle map which we were going to meet on D-Day, sixty-two divisions, and we had to place armoured infantry divisions on that map. And that's what I was doing until about two months before D-Day when I was then transferred to the Canadian Army to become their expert on German intelligence. And the result of this was that I arrived on D two in Normandy and was there till the end of the war in Holland.
Presenter asks
8:47Did they remain fanatical or were they immediately disillusioned after they lost the war?
Well, there were a fantastic variety of people from von Rundstedt, who was head of the German armed forces in the West, to a man like Kurt Meyer, who was head of the Hitler Youth Panzer Division, who was a total fanatic. Rundstedt said the only authority I had was to change the guard in front of my gate, because Hitler was giving me orders all the time, and he blamed the entire loss of the war at that stage to Hitler, you see. Whereas a man like Kurt Meyer said to me, If you want to see how Germans can fight, because the Japanese were still in the war, he said, I will lead a German SS division against the Japanese and we will show you what we can do. They were still very fanatically pro-Nazi.
Presenter asks
19:50But how do you go to a play? Do you define what you're looking for before you go, or do you just go there, sit down and trust to your own good judgment?
Oh, you go and trust your own good judgment. Most of the time you haven't the faintest idea what you're going to see. When you go see something like the birthday party by Pinter or Waiting for Gotto or things of that kind, for which we've all been condemned because we didn't understand and we didn't like and everything else. Waiting for Gotto, when we're always being attacked for these ideas my class of critics, because most of us found it totally incomprehensible. Now it's sort of required reading for O levels, you know. I know that Peter Hall, who directed, didn't know a great deal about it. The cast hadn't the faintest idea what they were saying and they'd been working on it for months. So why expect us to sit down ten minutes after a play to dash off onto a telephone and try to say something intelligent about a play like that, I don't know.
Presenter asks
21:36What about Look Back in Anger, John Osborne? Surely that's a great play. I mean, that was a kind of pivotal moment.
Look Back is probably one of the most overrated plays of all time, and its whole history is one of hype really. And if it's been called rabbits and bunnies or something of that kind, you never heard of it again. And none of the people who are supposed to have been the people inspired by Look Back in Anger uh Wesker, Pinta, Stoppard, all those bit none of them were even had were remotely influenced by Look Back in Anger.
“Probably a great deal of my class was killed or captured. So the result of this was that my life was probably saved, or my career was probably saved, by this man who objected to the fact that I sang in the morning.”
“I'm probably one of the most popular footnotes in military history.”
“I did love them. Yes, I I I loved them, but I was terrified of them as well.”
“Oh, I think I'd loathe it actually. I can't imagine what what in the world I would do on non-desert island and um I wonder how long I would live on Desert Island. I don't think I'd live very long really.”
“And if I ever g leave that island if I ever survive it, I'd open up a restaurant in the West End.”