Tuning in…
Tuning in…
Castaway
1 appearance
Deputy CEO of the British Council, dedicated to improving lives through culture and learning.
On the island
Eight records
Marni Nixon (as the singing voice of Audrey Hepburn)
This song from the musical My Fair Lady was chosen because my daughter, who is now 17, was obsessed with musicals and would dance with me in the kitchen to it when I got home from work. It was our first dance together.
This French song about what would you do if the person you love didn't exist was my mother's favourite. She'd play it in the car when we drove through France in her Triumph Stag. It also has sad irony because she didn't yet know she would lose the person she thought she couldn't live without.
Mr. Tambourine ManFavourite
This is part of my soul. My mother loved Bob Dylan and played his songs all the time in the car, and my brother was also a huge fan. Every time you listen to the lyrics you learn something new.
This was chosen because I had an enormous crush on Bob Geldof when I was growing up. I used to play this song in my room in my early teens, especially on Mondays when feeling grumpy about going to school. I still play it on Monday mornings.
Ulises Hermosa and Gonzalo Hermosa (based on "Llorando se fue")
This song was all the rage when I was in Brazil. Somebody would grab you and start dancing the Lambada with you and I have no rhythm, so I would dread this song coming on because I'd look like an idiot. But I still love it because it brings back memories of the vibrancy and energy of Brazil.
I chose a Ugandan reggae artist because I spent four incredibly happy years in Uganda. My daughter is half Ugandan and she has a huge extended family there. My soul will always be in Uganda.
This song was chosen for my niece Flynn, who was really into folk music and played the banjo. She died when she was only 16 a few years ago. The Avett Brothers zoomed into her sitting room and played her this song, and then a group of her friends played it at her farewell.
This is a really good driving song — it's really long and the lyrics are complicated. It was also one of my sister's favourite songs. We used to drive to France with my daughter and her in the back seat, singing along at the tops of our voices.
In conversation
Presenter asks
6:40You've seen lots of photos of your father — he cut a dash with the smart suit and memorable smoked glass monocle. What sort of father was he?
he was a very, very clever, intellectual man, very funny. But I remember mostly with me that he was just this sort of gentle figure.
Presenter asks
11:11Your mother, Jane, gave a TV broadcast from your living room just days after your father's death, speaking about peace and reconciliation instead of anger. As an adult now, how do you reflect on her choices and her ability to do that in such circumstances with three little children?
She just didn't want there to be this terrible waste of this man that had such strong values and ideals and he had gone to Ireland to try and make things better, to try and build a better relationship between Britain and Ireland, to try and bring, you know, make his contribution to peace and reconciliation. She often talked about that that was the only way. There wasn't another way and that's kind of what I grew up with. It never occurred me to blame anybody. … So it was pretty grim, if I'm honest. And we had to go to new schools having not really prepared for that and it was hard. It was all quite grey. I remember it just suddenly going from a very colourful life to a pretty grey life.
The keepsakes
Presenter asks
16:18How good are you at integrating the 'before' and 'after' of [your father's death] now? Do you get moments of your adult life that allow you to bring those two together a little bit?
I think I joined an organisation like the British Council because it kind of does that. So the work that we do is all about creating connections to make a more peaceful world. … When a trauma like that happens to you when you're very young, there is this sense that you're sort of looking back all the time and you've got to force yourself to look forward and create opportunity for yourself and the people around you.
Presenter asks
22:10After graduating you got a position in Jakarta. Then, in your early twenties, your mum died of cancer. How did it affect you? It must have been such a shock.
And it was Awful … She died very quickly, actually. … And I suppose I had never really, until just before she died, really accepted that she was going to die. I just, she was such a positive person, she never talked about it. So when she died, yeah, it was just black again … I had no parents … anyone who's grown up with a single parent, your biggest fear is that your remaining solid parent is going to not be there. So my biggest fear happened effectively. … I felt anchorless, really, because I was still very young trying to work out what to do with my life, and I just needed her … I learned how to be a young person again because that's the other thing is I felt so isolated that everybody else's lives were moving on and I felt stuck in this terrible grief.
Presenter asks
28:46What's helped you and your family through the difficult times of [your niece Flynn's and your sister's] illnesses and deaths?
I think there's an element of just having to get through it, really. … Flynn particularly had an energy for life, for the future. She led us through the whole process herself and she just wanted to do the things that she loved doing and she inspired us all … It is about having people around you, I think, who kind of get it and who are able to kind of hold your hand through it a bit.
“This is a bit of a cheesy choice, but it's I Could Have Danced All Night from the musical My Fair Lady.”
“I remember it as an incredibly happy time, full of kind of life and people and we were bilingual and went to French schools. I do remember even at a very young age thinking this is pretty good. Is that normal? I don't know. But I remember thinking it was great.”
“She just didn't want there to be this terrible waste of this man that had such strong values and ideals and he had gone to Ireland to try and make things better, to try and build a better relationship between Britain and Ireland, to try and bring, you know, make his contribution to peace and reconciliation. She often talked about that that was the only way. There wasn't another way and that's kind of what I grew up with. It never occurred me to blame anybody.”
“I remember very, very clearly a before life and an afterlife. And I've spent the rest of my life trying desperately not to have a sense of regret that was ingrained in me very young. And that's not a positive thing to have so young, I think.”
“When a trauma like that happens to you when you're very young, there is this sense that you're sort of looking back all the time and you've got to force yourself to look forward and create opportunity for yourself and the people around you. And I think my mother did that really effectively actually.”
“I felt anchorless, really, because I was still very young trying to work out what to do with my life, and I just needed her, you know, and I missed just her terribly.”