Joyce DiDonato

Your father was a choir master, was that right? A part time choir master. You were very, very close to your dad. Tell me about him.

Yeah. He was an architect. He worked from home, self employed. He was not a good businessman. He would give his work away for free. But he was a wonderful architect, and he was the volunteer church choir director at our local Catholic church. That was really. The biggest musical influence on me was choral music and watching my father conduct the adult choir. And Yeah, it's um oh, I miss him. We would talk philosophy and we would talk astronomy. We'd sit under the stars and ponder the universe. What I realize now, looking back on it, was his dream was to be a musician. He grew up in the World War Two time and his father said, No son of mine is going to be a pansy musician. And so that dream was squelched from the very beginning. To this day, he probably was the person that had the greatest appreciation and need for music that I've ever known. And it brought him great comfort and solace in a sometimes difficult life. So I think it showed me from the very beginning the power of music to actually. Um Help somebody, to heal somebody. And I remember he would come to everything that I did. and with every concert he would say with sort of this kind of sense of astonishment But you're really doing this.

And what did your mother say? Was she full of praise and warmth at this great little note that had come back?

Ah, see, I remember my dad's reaction, not my mom's, actually. I I'm sure she reacted well.

So tell me a bit more about your mom. What was she like?

Well, you know, I I'm so glad I've gotten older because I have such a better understanding of her now. She was the mother of seven kids with no money and staying at home. And it was really hard on her. I don't think she enjoyed being a mom. She did the right things, but it was my sense was that she was doing it out of duty. So I didn't get along with her. And I think for a long time I you said something about not being worthy in the opening statement. I think that has been something that has been the challenge for me is that what else do I have to do? That was really a fundamental part of my growing up. How what else do I have to do to get her to see me? And I happily have left that behind for the most part, but it was that was a very formative part of my upbringing.

Living the life you live, as we know, constantly on the road, constantly striving, constantly managing the bookings and the diaries. A considerable strain, surely, on personal relationships, I'm sure. You have been married twice, you are now in a relationship again. Is it to do with, as you explained it, the personal journey and the trajectory and the strength of that personal journey? Or is it a logistics thing that makes it difficult?

Oh, wow Now that's a really good question. I will have to ponder this on my own for a while. I think it is obviously a combination of the two, but ultimately I would say it is that personal journey. The logistics of having any kind of a relationship in this career are very tricky. You want to be best friends with somebody, but you can't be that person that brings them chicken soup when they're sick. And that's difficult. But ultimately, I know in my case, it really has been about giving myself permission to continue to grow. I've had to reconcile a lot of guilt along the way because, going back to the Catholic thing, you know, you get married and you take a vow and it's for life. And it's a struggle when your reality doesn't line up with what you thought you were going to do. But I know in my case, every instance in my personal life has brought me to much deeper personal growth, and I don't have a single regret.