Tuning in…
Tuning in…
Castaway
1 appearance
Radiologist and humanitarian, pioneer in telemedicine, founded charity Arian Teleheal, and winner of a UN Global Hero Award.
On the island
Eight records
I got introduced to Eminem when I arrived in the UK. I had no clue about music, Western music... And when I listened to the track it really resonated with me, you only get one shot, don't mess your chance. And I thought that was something for me.
Ghuli Suri (Khodahaf is Ghuli Suri)
It reflects the time we went through in the 90s, mainly during the Civil War, the losses, the traumas, saying goodbyes to each other. And when I came to the UK, I used to listen to this song and reflect on what had happened.
Whenever we used to go and visit this doctor in [Peshawar], my treat would be that my father would take me to cinema. And usually I was into action movies. Even the lyrics, 'Rising Up, Back on the Streets, Went the Distance, Now Back on My Feet, Just a Man and his will to survive.' That is something that kept me going.
This is a song that resonated with me in 2017. I got to a point that I had a loving family and in a way, if you can call it achievement, that I had done enough to prove to myself that I was worthy of a life, that I could just relax, work in the NHS, see my child grow and have a happy life. But it wasn't enough for me. I reflected back on a journey when I was in a refugee camp and I saw this young girl in 2015. When I looked into her eyes, my own childhood reflected back to me. And that's the moment I realized that I could actually reach out to so many children across the globe. And that became my purpose.
This was a song that I was listening to when I was at Cambridge University. I saw that other students had family members who would visit. I didn't have anybody, so I would lock myself in that room most of the time. I realized that I was actually a very damaged child. I had to grieve for [lost] childhood, and I think this is the song that helped me grieve.
FlyFavourite
Because later on when I came back to London to complete my clinical studies at Imperial College, I was getting closer to my goal to become a doctor, but I was losing touch with my identity. I didn't know whether I was British, I was Afghan, and I was doing so much for the family that I came to a point that I ran out of adrenaline. And that was my breakdown point. And at that point, it was Dr. Shakter, who was my tutor at Imperial College. And for the first time in my life, I opened up. I said, I just can't do this anymore... And he gave me a hug and he said, Well, he'd listen, you've got a long life in front of you, so you really have to look after yourself. So that's the first time when I started to be kind to myself and to let go.
A song when finally after my breakdown in 2009 and getting out of that and trying to learn to be kind to myself, I was ready to find somebody. I was ready to find a life partner who I could confide in and who could help me talk about my life. And I found my wife and that is the song I'm dedicating to Davina.
It's a song that makes me think what's happened. It's my own life is repeating itself in front of me. Although I'm better equipped now, I have loved ones around me, I have friends and I have the compassion. And I am getting mental health support myself. But for me still it is a bad dream that I'm waking up from.
In conversation
Presenter asks
5:36Your father was a conscientious objector, and you've described your mother as a superwoman. Tell me more about her.
She is, and I still remember our hearts beating against each other in cellars when the rockets would come and rain on us. Late at night she would be tying her head tight because she would be having such a bad headache, and I knew that she hadn't slept for days, but she couldn't afford to sleep, because she wanted to know how the children are doing, if anyone has temperature, if they are fed well, and then be alert to what's going on from the outside as well. Do we have to pack again? Do we have to move?
Presenter asks
8:27The border was closed so the family had to cross the mountains. What do you remember about that crossing?
You had to do it at night time. And we had to do it on donkeys and horses. But it was the same route that was used by the Mujahideen, the rebels, to bring in weapons to fight. So anybody that was spotted along this path, the Soviet helicopter gunship and the jets, would attack them, destroy them. One morning we arrived and it was a bit too light and we were visible. My father went with a few men to locate a house for us to sleep. So I came with my father. We were traveling about seven minutes or eight minutes. And then suddenly, out of nowhere, my father just grabbed me and he ran towards the village. We had been spotted by a spy plane that my father knew what was coming next. So he was running and he was trying to open one door, knock on another door, until he found one house that was empty. He found an oven on the floor, which is used for baking in Afghanistan... He took me with him. [We were] hiding inside the oven, he covered me completely, covered me. Then the bombing started. Bullets flying, rockets hitting the wall. There was screaming between me and my dad, and after it finished um we went back to to the area where my siblings were and my mother were um because we didn't know whether they would be alive.
The keepsakes
The book
The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind
William Kamkwamba
It's a book by a 14-year-old who was in Malawi. He couldn't afford to go to school. He had to drop out. Malawi was going through famine and HIV and they didn't have a severe drought and they didn't have water for the crop. So he had to figure out a way to help.
The luxury
When I was a castaway and enduring conflict, I would go into outside a house on my own. I would find a pen and paper and I would draw. I'm not good at drawing, but I would draw an imaginary house, an imaginary school, imaginary friends, and that would give me a moment of solace, whether it was for a few hours. That was finding hope.
Presenter asks
14:47You were just 12 when you enrolled to study medicine. How did you hold your own with your fellow students who must have been much older?
I would try to make my voice really hoarse and I I would pretend outside that I'm a grown-up... as a child navigating the camp I used to think, I used to talk like an adult. To behave like an adult as well, to survive. But that's how childhood, not for myself alone, for so many children, is lost.
Presenter asks
18:33The travel agent told you you'd be welcomed in the UK. But when the plane landed at Heathrow, there were police cars waiting for you on the tarmac. Why were they there?
The instructions were that as soon as you land in Heathrow, you would get rid of your passports and then you would tell the police that you were Afghan refugees and they would take you in. But what the eldest didn't follow the instruction on the plane. He did something very stupid. He went to the toilet to burn his passport. And then the other one went. He burnt his passport on the plane as well. So I had to go to the toilet, follow the majority. At that point, there was enough smoke from the other two that the alarm went off. And my heart absolutely sank. I didn't know what I was doing. I thought, oh my goodness, I have blown everything now.
Presenter asks
22:05How did you adjust to student life at Cambridge?
First of all, I couldn't believe that I was there because I didn't know so much about the reputation at first to start with. And then when I started searching about it, and somebody told me who I'd met through one of the British gas jobs that I was doing, and he said, Oh, have you heard about Cambridge University? I said, Yes, but it's not for me. And he said, Well, you've got the A's, you should apply. So I went to one of my tutors at one of the colleges, and he immediately put me off. He said, You're not white, you're a refugee, we don't even know your school background, so don't waste one of your places, don't apply. I was furious with that, and I came out, I was crying, and but then I was stomping up and down on King's Cross. But I was determined. I said, If Russian bombs didn't kill me, Cambridge is not going to kill me. So I went the opposite way. I really became determined.
Presenter asks
28:13What would you say to people who are concerned about the numbers of people trying to come to the West?
I would simply ask people to think of people who are fleeing conflict, persecution, or for other reasons, as human beings. Of course, we have to protect borders, we have to also make sure that criminal gangs are not operational as well. But blaming refugees, blaming people who fled conflict and trying to politicise them or weaponize them, I think that's inhumane.
“I am reliving my childhood, the lost childhood, through my children now. I'm managing to go home, sit there, watch my children play a play that I never had the opportunity. So those are the small things that I don't take for granted.”
“My father said one thing to me that if anything had happened to him, that I would be looking after the family. That's age five and and from then onwards I lost my childhood in a way that I became an adult and I had to think on my feet.”
“Even the lyrics, 'Rising Up, Back on the Streets, Went the Distance, Now Back on My Feet, Just a Man and his will to survive.' That is something that kept me going.”
“If Russian bombs didn't kill me, Cambridge is not going to kill me. So I went the opposite way. I really became determined.”
“I found my wife and that is the song I'm dedicating to Davina.”
“I was a castaway all my life, actually... I might go and relax for once actually. I am looking forward to it.”