Tuning in…
Tuning in…
Castaway
1 appearance
Comedian and scriptwriter from Salford, formerly in the family meat packing business, who started entertaining at parties and played a week in music hall.
On the island
Eight records
In conversation
Presenter asks
3:44Al, where were you born?
I was born in Salford, which is in Lancashire, as everybody knows. That's thirty nine years ago.
Presenter asks
3:57What was your first ambition to be as a schoolboy?
Well, I hadn't any choice. We were in the uh meat packing business, uh sausage making and canned meats. And my father had decided uh about that. I was going into that business. Third generation, that's right, yes.
Presenter asks
4:31You used sometimes to entertain at parties. That's how the whole thing really started, wasn't it?
Well, I found that to get to know all the customers, mostly grocers and people like that. would be a good idea to uh find out where they had their annual ball. An offer to do some things, he and that's really how it started. I went up and told them a couple of little things and perhaps did an impression or something like that. They thought it was very good. I was only sixteen maybe, and that's how it really started.
The keepsakes
The book
Not recorded.
Presenter asks
Say you can look after yourself in the jungle of show business. How good would you be at looking after yourself on a desert island?
Well, I think I'd be all right. I'd have to be, wouldn't I? Yes. I mean, have you got any skills that would be useful? Well, in business, of course, we've had to do with cattle and farmers. I think I'm not too bad at farming. Yeah. Um build a shelter, alright? Yes, I could build a shelter.
Presenter asks
19:19And one luxury to take with you?
I take a photograph of my wife and kids.
“I was in an hotel in Manchester, again, you know, entertaining some customers and to keep them amused I was recounting the perfectly true experience of when my wife had called in a decorator to give us an estimate for one room where her mother was going to sleep, you see. And he stood in the hall, saying I believe you want the house decorated through. I said, No, no. It's just a little room. My wife mother's coming a week on. All the time he's looking round, he said uh Is this your own house, have you bought it? I said, Yes, it's pity. Built on sand hole sinking. He said your wall's belly. Said pardon? He said, Belly in that wall. That's out about six inches, is that? If you take a peep over my shoulder, you see where it's bellying. He says, Your wall'll have to come down. He said, There's your garage next to it. I can't tell you the rest. It was one of those things.”
“No, always a risk, you see, when people imagine radio characters. They have their own picture of what they would look like, what they'd like them to look like. And therefore I didn't feel that I ought to cheat'em by appearing. Surely it'd be a bit a bit of a shock, you see, and I left it Rightly so, I hope. I think so.”
“Well, I suppose I would have to because there would be no chance of anybody finding me. I'd love to have everybody over and... Well entertain them, but Otherwise, no, I think I'd have to build that raft and escape because without people, I think we're all sucked, aren't we? We must have people and certainly myself.”
“Well, I've played on a few primitive golf courses, I'd think I might try to build up a golf course, yeah, keep myself amused. Golf is a funny game. I mean, listen to these two chaps. Now, they've played a wonderful game. Good day Alpha, I thought I played awfully well, actually. I mean... When I think of my score, which is 3, 4, 3, 4, sorry, 3. Two birdies, sorry, one birdie, one eagle, out in 35, back in 32. This is quite a fair score, less handicap, of course. Now we know we're listening to the experts, don't we? But what about these two Lancashire lands who just come in the clubhouse now? They're playing golf for the first time. Now, just listen to their conversation. What sort of a game have they played? You never won that last all. You never won that last all. Now you lashed out and missed, that's one, isn't it? Then you had another swipe where you scutted it up past that lady's tea box for two. Then you dribbled it back on the fairway and belted a good one over that field where that young couple had to get up, right? Then we got you back on the fairway for eleven. Then you knocked it in that sand. Well, you lost your temper and it took you another eight to get it out. That's 19. Then you had that long one over those three fairways when that gentleman said you had to run back with it because that was his ball. Yes, you've obviously played on some primitive golf courses, have you? Yes, well I love golf.”
“I take a photograph of my wife and kids.”