Danny Baker

Presenter0:00

Hello, I'm Kirsty Young. Thank you for downloading this podcast of Desert Island Discs from BBC Radio 4. For rights reasons the music choices are shorter than in the radio broadcast.

Presenter0:10

For more information about the programme, please visit bbc.co.uk slash radio four.

Presenter0:34

My castaway this week is the writer and broadcaster Danny Baker. He's a Sony gold winner who has careered through numerous radio and T V shows, walking out or being sacked when the luster dulls, but always picking up a new gig, finding another outlet for his wit and his spleen. As a script writer, he's put words in the mouths of Jeremy Clarkson, Ricky Gervais, Jonathan Ross, Chris Evans, and even the legendary George Burns, and is typically forthright in summing up his talent. He says, it comes from being really good at what I do. I make someone sound as good as they've ever sounded. Emotionally and domestically, he hasn't strayed far from his South London roots. And he says his career isn't about ambition or stardom. It's simply a Swiss army knife. If one thing doesn't work, you put it away and get something else out. He appears to have confidence in abundance. He says radio is a pretty soft gig. You play a few records, you yak up a storm, and that's it. It's like Quentin Crisp used to say, you're making a living from your personality. So you feel, do you, Danny Baker, that you can entirely rely on your personality? Yes, and it sounds confrontational when you put it like that at the top, but I think it comes from a distant shame at doing this when you come from a family of manual workers. And when I say I make people sound as good as they ever did, that may not be any kind of boast, but it's purely and simply a working of the personality. And I don't necessarily see it as a noble craft. Right. Do you think you're talented? Yeah. Oh, yeah, there's no doubt about that. Of course. Otherwise, you're full of false modesty. And I know sometimes when I've written for other people, I will walk around the house after a particularly good phrase in an orgy of self-congratulation. But that is, if you ask me bluntly, I also don't believe in that kind of. I think sometimes humility is the worst kind of ego. And I think if you'd have said to me then, are you talented? And I'd have gone, oh, I don't know. People would have curled a lip. It happens to be that this is what I'm good at. And in the currency of modern culture, a lot of weight is given to that. But it's not surgery, and it's not even digging coal out of the ground. And always remember, it's only a couple of vowels from radio to rodeo. In this nitwick culture, we have, I have a gift for exploiting my personality to forward. Radio shows. That has that for damning it with faint praise. And writer and broadcaster, I introduced you as, but it seems to me it's much more of the broadcasting than the writing these days. Yeah, because there's not any money anymore in writing for people. Johnny Spate wasn't Alf Garnet. Clement and Lefrenay weren't the likely lads. There are writers and there are performers, and we seem now to almost expect, especially comedians, to write their own stuff or there's some kind of stigma to it. These days, radio is, it strikes me it's the last thing in the profession I'm in that where you can turn up.

Danny Baker2:58

Uh

Danny Baker3:00

Yeah.

Presenter3:24

Five minutes before it begins and go straight home again afterwards. And that, believe me, is the allure of radio. And I don't have meetings, and I'm not asked to take part in any focus groups. I'm certainly not universally popular, but plainly, you know, people employ me, so it works. One of your first jobs was working at the NME. You are a great and intense lover of music. Was it difficult for you to get your eight? Oh, it is impossible. It's like naming children or, you know, or performing surgery, I suspect. You say the NME, but it wasn't the first job I was at 14 in a record shop. And so I was 14 and left school when the last year you could leave at 14 and went to a record shop, which I didn't know, but happened to be the hippist shop in the West End, long before there were mega stores and all of this. And so music is, and obviously, growing up in the family, it was everywhere. Doing this was hard. That's why I've gone on a strategy here that I hope, I hope, will diffuse and make the journey easier. Okay, tell me about your first disc then.

Danny Baker3:53

Yeah.

Presenter4:17

It's a Helen Shapiro and it's a

Presenter4:19

It's a song called Marvelous Live, which is the B-side of a record called You Don't Know, which was a hit. And Helen Shapiro represents that entire era between what we kind of think as the light operetta of Ivanovello and things and the proper coming of pop music. And she's got a terrific voice, it's a lovely arrangement. She was 13 or 14 when she made this, which again is a nice bellwether for realising that nothing changes in pops. Hello, Justin Bieber. This is 14-year-old Helen Shapiro before the awareness of pop music, pop culture, set in.

Danny Baker4:52

What a marvellous line.

Danny Baker4:57

You told me in your arms when you said you'd stay When you promised to have and hold me

Danny Baker5:15

Into

Danny Baker5:17

Under door all the way

Presenter5:21

That was Helen Shapiro and Marvelous Lie. I don't need to remind you, Danny Baker, but I should probably remind listeners of everything you've been involved in, or at least a little taster of it. One of your earliest jobs, not your first job, as we said, was at the NME. You were with Janet Street Porter in the early days, launching Youth TV. You've done lots of radio phone-ins, you've done chat shows, you've hosted a Radio One show, five Live, Talk Radio, BBC One Channel 4. The list goes on and on and on. It doesn't, however, look like a career plan. No, it isn't. And I've worked consistently all that time, but I'd hate anyone to think it was. It facilitates my life beautifully. But I certainly don't know anyone else who does this outside of the people I work for. It's never mentioned indoors. But no plan, certainly no plan. It couldn't be. You've only got to look at the incredible way this is all botched together. And yet, I don't feel that's somehow lucky when you look around some of the half-wits and boss-eyed bozos who people this business. And they are running departments. So all of this is an ant hill that somebody's kicked over. And I happen to be one of the more bumptious ants. And given that you didn't have, and many people don't have a career plan, were there points where you thought, actually, this is an outrageous disaster? Oh, I've had outrageous. Oh, please. I think it's about time we introduced some of my outrageous disasters. Go on then. Oh, some of the television shows I've done have been an appalling waste of time. But again, were they.

Danny Baker5:44

Bonus

Danny Baker5:46

No, it is a

Danny Baker6:31

Oh, I've had a rough

Presenter6:43

Appalling wastes of time among a field of otherwise untrammeled success by other people. This whole thing, as I say, is an abs. It's it's chaos. I'm looking for specifics. Give me a second. My mind is whizzing with them now. Chokeled the bottom line, that was no good. I've done a thing called Sitcom Showdown, that was ridiculously but anything you do, and particularly in this game.

Danny Baker6:54

Oh um

Presenter7:08

You send out there with half a chance, but you don't think that represents me. God Lord knows if I thought I was represented by any television show, if anyone thought this is me, now you're getting me, it's a hoopla, and we're knee-deep in it. You can look at the CV of Fred Astaire and find out he made some terrible films. That doesn't define either Fred Astaire or anyone else. I'm putting myself in with Fred Astaire there, by the way. But if you think it's going to be an unbroken chain of success. What's so interesting about that, though, is that people think that they are getting you. You see, you're saying, well, that doesn't represent me, but people think they're getting. That's one of the things they love about it. They think this is the authentic Danny Baker. I think on the radio, you've got a cartoon of us. I'm aware.

Danny Baker7:28

Yeah.

Danny Baker7:43

I think

Presenter7:48

It's uh and I get that from a dad, it is a pretty overwhelming and and loud person, but kinda g you know, hopefully it's not dumb either. If it if it wasn't linked to a certain um linguistic acrobatics and stuff, it wouldn't be entertaining, but I hope I hope that uh it it is. I try to infect people with what at first seems like an overwhelming glee, but I I and it's it's extraordinary, but I am like that. On that note, Danny Baker, uh your second diss today is what wha why have you chosen it?

Presenter8:16

This is a clear blue sky song, most of these are.

Presenter8:19

This is a song I remember we found at a chalet called St. Elmo in Potterheim on the Norfolk Broads. When we holidayed, we holidayed on the Norfolk Broads for two weeks every year as a family. And they had a record player and we played it over and over again. It's Dean Martin. But this song represents clear blue sky. And I've got to say, as a kid, I was extraordinarily happy, extraordinarily confident. I was extremely popular. I was the captain of the football team. I was the first in year in exams. People hate that. And everyone's going, oh, shut up. It's not a very English thing. But that's the facts. And I was the youngest of the kids. I might have been indulged. I certainly wasn't spoiled. We're a very hard working class family. But I had a terrific childhood. There were no sad cellos in the background while I lonely looked at my feet and thought, why don't I fit in? I fitted right in. Not only that, I led things. I had a terrific time. I was wildly popular. And this kind of song sums up my philosophy.

Speaker 29:10

Oh, there's nothing as gay as a day in the country, Far from the maddening throng A hobo hobnobbin with bluebird and robin We warble a merry old song

Speaker 29:25

Yeah.

Speaker 49:25

And go rolly or rolly or rolly or rolly or rolly or rolling along. All is not

Danny Baker9:34

Uh As they asked the bay in the country under the wonderful sky.

Presenter9:40

That was Dean Martin and A Day in the Country. And for you, Danny Baker, as you say it's a blue sky song, you're reminded of what sounds like beyond idyllic, really the most secure and happy childhood. It was the most secure and happy childhood. You know, I was extremely popular and I was a good-looking kid. And that may give people an idea as to how come you can walk along with your hat on the side of your head. I don't think even this interview or anything else would give a reflection of how I live. And I don't ever intend to do that. Indoors, we're a clothes shop, we're a big family indoors and all of that. And fortunately, as I say, what I can do for a living facilitates my private life. What was your dad like? Worse than me. My old man was. Or better than you, depending on you. Yeah, no, no, I think worse than me is a way of putting it. And I don't mean that in the sense of annoyance, hopefully. The old man was larger than me, put it that way. My old man was a huge personality. But my old man didn't care for the niceties of life or even show business. He didn't refine his personality to make it a career. My old man used it at home and all that, but he was a brawler as well. And I've never had that. He was a big union leader. And he had the volatile side of him. He was a docker. He was a docker, yeah. My dad. I'm seeing I've got that again for a while. There's suspicion. I remember when I was first in what we can loosely call show business. There was a suspicion of genuine.

Danny Baker9:48

You would have

Danny Baker10:19

Yeah, oh no no.

Danny Baker10:46

It was a docker

Presenter10:55

Proletarian people, and there still is a dearth of them, and a suspicion of, but he really went to college. Oh, we find out he actually went to private school and all that. So, finding out somebody actually left a comprehensive school at 14, dad was a docker, mum worked in a factory. Somehow, middle class, and let's face it, you know, no inference, but this business is awash with them. They set their chin against that. Oh, here we go, he's a cocker knee, is he? But I think sometimes the suppression of working-class culture and the aping of it and the cartooning of it was a certain way of distancing it by the middle classes in media. And you still get hideously patronizing things like first thing you notice about his house is it's not like Del Boy's flat. That happens. So, but just coming back to the idea of, yeah, I am from that kind of stock. And people say, But you live in a big pile of bricks on Blackheath now. You know, you've been earning good money for you've joined the middle classes. They want to assimilate, and they don't understand that using that criteria, anyone who has a lucky lottery ticket overnight becomes middle class. It doesn't quite work like that. My children may be like that. You know, they were raised like that. But I certainly wasn't, and I retain a lot of the energies of my dad. And that is why people say he walks out of things. He does his nut a lot with people in the business. I see no reason not to. This is an industry like any other. My dad once said to us, and this is not something I go along with, but the germ of it is true. When I'd received some stinker review of it, I know some talk show I'd done, probably quite rightly, but my dad used to look at it and say, What are you going to do about that boy? And I say, Nothing.

Danny Baker11:38

Pooh.

Presenter12:20

That's how the show business is. And my old man said, Trouble you, boy, trouble your game. There's not enough right handers dished out. And I said, What? he meant in the dock someone says that, you give them a right hander they don't do it again Now that of course is entirely wrong, but But were the world like that, I think that perhaps there'd be more civility between the press and the show of business. And what was your what was your house like? What what went on? We lived in our council flat. My parents uh came from the Isle of Dogs. From the moment they were married they lived in single rooms and and pretty cramped accommodation. Then I was born and within months of being born they were allocated this flat on a brand new estate in Bermondsey with a garden and an indoor bathroom.

Danny Baker12:42

We live in the

Presenter12:59

And suddenly their lives were like, We can't live with three bedrooms in a council flat. So I knew nothing of the hardships beforehand. And I came along and coincided with that. And perhaps I couldn't help but feel partially responsible. So all I knew was this for the first decade of my life, this tremendous relief from my family. And people come around saying, Lovely flat, Bet. Oh, you are lucky. And so I thought our house was a palace. And of course, it's the baby boomer time, so the flats were full. The estate was full of kids my age. All out, all day, and all of that. It was a terrific place to grow up. Let's fit in some music, Danny Baker. Tell us about disc number three.

Presenter13:35

This uh is Max Bygraves. It's a beautiful reading of a lovely Flanagan and Allen song. It's full of melancholy. This again, it populated the vibrations in my house for years and years. And a lot of these songs in fact all of these songs have been with me longer than any other songs, and that's why they're entitled to Be Here.

Speaker 413:51

Yeah.

Danny Baker13:51

And Turn is the R

Danny Baker13:54

Okay.

Presenter13:54

Uh

Danny Baker13:54

Yeah.

Danny Baker13:56

I dream my

Presenter13:57

My dreams away

Danny Baker13:57

Dreams away

Speaker 414:02

Underneath the archair

Presenter14:04

Yeah.

Speaker 414:06

Should

Presenter14:06

Uh

Speaker 414:06

Uh On cobblestones I lay

Danny Baker14:13

Yeah.

Presenter14:13

Every

Speaker 414:14

Uh

Danny Baker14:14

Every night you find me Yeah.

Presenter14:19

Tired out and warm. That was Max Bygraves and Underneath the Arches. So tell me, Danny Baker, about the woman that was known as Ma Baker.

Danny Baker14:19

Fired up

Presenter14:27

My nan Baker was my main images, listening to Brian Hayeshot. My nan would sit there and swear at the radio all day. In her life, she worked everything from a docker during the First World War. She owned pubs, she ran shops, she did anything. And she was not a sweet old lady. She was the kind of old lady who would stand out in the street at closing time and sing. And was she she was your dad's mother, wasn't it? Yeah. And she was a big matriarch. And the only time you ever saw my dad and his brothers cowled was in her presence. When she died, they named the bar across the road Marl Baker's. It still is on the Isle of Dogs. It's Marl Baker Snug, I think. Yes, it is. That's it. She was very tough. My parents were terrific people, extremely confident people. But my mum was as sweet as my dad was bumptious. But they remained together nearly 60 years. And she knew the lyrics to every single verse of a song. You know, she's got dementia these days, but even now, a song will come on.

Danny Baker14:55

They are the dogs.

Danny Baker14:57

Yeah.

Presenter15:19

And she still can know the verse and every single word. And she'll say, Oh, I can't remember what I did ten minutes ago, but I can remember this. My mum was by comparison quiet, but you know, I've got to say that the Woolwich Ferry would be by comparison quiet to our family. And so, your dad was a union man, and he was a fighting man. I mean, you said he did use his feet. Yeah, oh, god. Again, I don't want to make leave that one impression. I mean, you know, it was everything. It was the pub, the suit on Sunday, lunchtime. He liked to run things. He used to be a very good compare in pubs. Very funny. My dad working in the dock, bringing all those things home from the docks, fixing the gas meter, fixing the electricity meter. Bringing what home from the docks? Everything. Anything that came through the docks. Because anyone who's been a docker's son or daughter knows you bring stuff home. He brought home shoes that you'd knock out around the flat. You'd take it around the flat, send them at the door. And it got so overwhelming at one time that they started shipping, literally shipping left shoes out through London and the right shoes out through Hull because they were losing too many shoes. He always had stuff. Our house was full of continental quilts and brandy for a while, LP records. And it was a hell of a popping time. Very funny.

Danny Baker15:34

Yeah.

Danny Baker15:36

He said he did use his features.

Danny Baker15:40

I mean you know it's it's it's

Presenter16:27

Let's have music, Danny Baker. We're on disc four. Tell me about it. This is Peter Sellers. I choose it because I do think it is an eternal truth in pop music. I think the lyrics of this, this is 1958. The words to it are as true as this series of X Factor as anything else. It's absurd. It's a terrific performance. And it's Peter Sellers before he went nuts as well.

Speaker 416:54

They say that I'm too old, I guess I'm coming up for nine Me curly hair is getting thin, it's all them women and wine But I'm oh, so ashamed It's been three weeks since I had

Speaker 417:14

A record in the top 20 parts

Presenter17:20

That was Peter Sellers and I'm so ashamed. I'm interested in a a flavor of your childhood. I know how you say how happy and secure you were. I mean, what did you get up to when you weren't in school coming first in the class?

Danny Baker17:26

Yeah.

Speaker 417:26

Yeah.

Danny Baker17:26

What

Presenter17:29

We played on the estate, mainly there was a big gang of us. And when we used to go out running around on the estate, it was extraordinarily dangerous, of course. There were quite a lot of bomb sites around. I used to call them dumps, but they actually were literally bomb sites. One of my earliest memories is sitting in a burning car. There was an old full popular dumped on there. It was just there, this shell, and we used to sit in it and use it as a base, a lot of us. And then one day, about eight of us piled in this car and then set fire to the seat and see who would be the last one out, played chicken. Now, that is not typical of me. I'm not like that. But I remember that clearly. Never occurred to us for a second. There might be still petrol in it. Didn't occur to us. My brother, Michael, on that very same dump, found some wire they were going around using that seat, and it made a noise when you twirled it. The fellow in front of him did it. It went across my brother's eye, blinded him in that eye for life. So it was, it was. I don't want to give you that every day was some kind of Vietnam, but my overriding memories is: man alive, that was dangerous. And you were offered a place at grammar school and turned it down. Yeah, as I say, I just found exams fun. But all my friends were going to West Greenwich, which was their local comprehensive. And so I said I wanted to go there. And mum and they said, all right, okay, sure. They never thought.

Danny Baker17:43

But

Danny Baker18:28

And

Presenter18:42

That academia could make you successful or brainy, as they used to say. And it's a philosophy I've totally embraced. If going to a good school made you bright, then Parliament will be full of geniuses. It don't work like that. But also, what about, you won't like this phrase, I don't think, poverty of ambition. We hear a lot about it these days. You know, I reckon you would have been a shoe-in for a double first at Cambridge. You've got an enormous corner, you've got an enormous capacity for knowledge, for remembering facts and figures. You clearly have a lust for life. Maybe you could have gone on to, you know, a television. But that suggests a parallel life that somehow would have been fulfilling as opposed to that. I'm not suggesting that at all. I'm not saying you wouldn't have ended up being, you know, a very accomplished radio DJ and script writer. You might have done, but you would also have had this enormously satisfying opportunity of a great education. It doesn't enter my radar because at 14 I'm in the record shop with Elton John and Mark Bolin as customers coming in every week and McCartney and people like that. And then punk rock comes along. Then television get interested and they say, why don't you come and work in television? Okay, let's go and work in television. And that then leads to radio and da da da and da da da. Now, that is why I believe I've never had a big red sports car. Despite reputations, I've never been someone who hung out at the Groucho Club with a lot of page-free models. At every stage of my life, I believe I was doing exactly what you should be doing. I've never looked back and thought, if I'd have gone off to the States with the sex pistols, I could have been at Cambridge. A series of chances. But I don't feel somehow bereft that if I could have sat down with you now and said, you know, I was reading Beowulf last night, and I don't. I simply don't. You're a father of three children, two of them grown up now, but one of them is still at school. Yes, yes. What do you tell them about what they should do? I don't tell them anything. I like the schools they go to. What advice do you give them? None. Absolutely none. And I don't say that just to be cavalier. I simply don't. How could I? How could I?

Danny Baker18:56

Uh

Danny Baker19:05

I know I met a deliver.

Danny Baker19:13

But that suggests they're not a parallel

Danny Baker19:17

No, I'm not suggesting that at all.

Danny Baker20:22

Well I don't

Presenter20:33

Because the white children are bright enough and happy enough to turn around and say, But, Dad, you left school at 14. Simply, what you do does not in our family does not define what you are. One of the most outrageous things that's happened to us recently is one of the quotes I gave after being ill recently and mentioned that I borrowed money off Chris Evans. But that was because it was expedient, that was the easiest thing to do. But some insurance company online has said there's a lesson there for all of us. If you find that to me, it negates my entire philosophy. Let's have some music, Danny. What's next? This is from my favourite film, which is The Road to Morocco. And again, you may get a glimpse of role models here. Seeing Bob Hope as that super confident, fast-talking fella he played. That's the way to live. But in Road to Morocco, Bing Crosby never looked better. And when he sang this song, I thought, okay, I'm going to basing myself on an incidental song from Road to Morocco. But if you listen to the words of this, I actually believe it, and I believe it is a terrific philosophy.

Speaker 221:34

I'm no terrific success I oughta worry I guess

Presenter21:40

Uh-huh.

Speaker 221:45

Uh

Speaker 221:48

I like a shady old tree, What's the matter with me?

Danny Baker21:53

Uh

Presenter21:54

That was Bing Crosby and Ain't Got a Dime to My Name. And he said there, Danny Baker, I've got the vagabond itch, guess I'll never get rich. That's true. I uh um materially, you know, I live in a very nice house, house with good things in it, but I don't actually have any money. You mentioned a moment ago you you borrowed how much?

Danny Baker22:05

Check.

Presenter22:13

30 grand off Chris, but that that's because you know when I was told I was going to be not going to go at work for seven months. Chris is my best friend, and you know, once he got over the shocker that I was that ill, and I said, Chris, you know, could you borrow us the money? And I'll give it back to you when I'm back at work. And I have. That is exactly what I do. I do very well in life, but I'll spend it immediately on the people around me and myself, and that's always done. I stayed once in the um uh when we me and the kids went to New York years ago, and we got to the Four Seasons, which is a pretty swanky hotel, but they didn't have any family rooms. I said, What would you suggest? He said, Um

Presenter22:48

We've got suites. So I said, Okay, uh I I will take a suite then and this is the four seasons. He said, We've only got the um this suite and the presidential one on the roof. And Wendy looked at me and I looked at him I said, How much is that? And he said, Oh, look at that.

Presenter23:01

That's $4,750 before tax for the night and doesn't include breakfast. I said, well, have that, right? I barely had that. I mean, I might have had that. But when I got home, people, I said, we stayed in the presidential suite. Now, I couldn't afford that, right, at the time. But you can't take that away from me. And yes, you know, you might say, well, say if things have gone wrong. Well, say if they did, but they didn't, and they haven't so far. You know, I think it's very bourgeois to fritter your money away in insurance. I've never lived like that. My dad had absolutely no fear of money. And he used to say to me, You're like me, boy. You'll always be able to forage around and find a few quid. And again, it annoys a lot of people. But I don't know why. To be extraordinarily happy and to live, have no concern or indeed respect for money drives a lot of people nuts. But I've lived like that, and so one day I'll die. And what a giddy world it's been. And the terrible disease has gone, has it? Yes, it has. It has gone. Cancer of the mouth, yeah. And head and neck is what they call it. Cancer of the head and neck. And they laid me low for nine months. And you know, it was a rotten, disgusting time, but it's a very small portion of a wider life. I didn't learn any lessons through it. I said, no damascene moment. No. People want this, do they? No.

Danny Baker23:54

What a

Danny Baker24:00

Pass

Danny Baker24:01

And

Danny Baker24:06

Uh

Danny Baker24:15

No.

Danny Baker24:15

Yeah.

Presenter24:17

It is just, for whatever reason, Kirsten, for whatever reason, I am not like that. I am not like it. I literally have my hat on the side of my head all the time. And Danny, what about the weight of the treatment? Because the treatment, I mean, the treatment. It was horrible. It was the most disgusting thing. They told me it would be the most grueling thing other than bone marrow, but the prognosis was good. But, Lord, do you want me to enlarge on that? No, but, you know. No, I don't necessarily want you to do that, but I do think you have a fantastically unusual attitude towards it, which is. Maybe, but it's of a piece with this, as I say. Very robust. And you're not. And you're not, I mean, notably, you have not used a single phrase like when I was fighting the cancer. You don't fight it. No. You've got no. It's nice if that helps you.

Danny Baker24:31

It's horrible.

Danny Baker24:46

Might be but

Danny Baker24:48

This is a site.

Danny Baker24:50

You know what?

Danny Baker24:55

You don't

Presenter24:59

But you don't battle it, you're the battleground. You are Normandy Beach. You are Hastings in 1066. Science is fighting it. You're helpless. But again, it's not an attitude I had to don or adopt. Yeah. And what and so I know I probably know what the answer to this is going to be, but given that you are such a bon viva, you love people right now. Yeah, that's entirely what it is. Yeah, and your wife is, I understand Wendy's, a brilliant cook. Yeah, and she's from an enormous family, and our house is often full of people and bikes and prams. It's a noisy big house, same as the one I grew up in. I'm probably trying to replicate that and have done it. And yes, all I want to be away from any of this is a good host. I think it's the most beautiful thing in life to be a great host. Can you drink that? Can you? The odd thing is, wine, my great love of going indoors overnight and knocking out wine has gone. I can't taste off Brillo pads at the moment. Probably always will. But I can drink beer. Not a lot of it, but it tastes the same. There's very little I can taste at the minute. But that is in that very thin band I can taste.

Danny Baker25:16

Yeah, that's entirely what it is.

Presenter25:56

More to come. Uh Danny Baker now. We are what on disc number six, I think. Yes, this will fall right into uh cliche. It's Tommy Steele doing a cockney song. There's no point ducking this. It's the first record I knew all the way through. What a mouth by Tommy Steele. It was fun and it cheered everyone up. They don't come any more broad than this.

Speaker 226:14

What a mouth, what a mouth, what a north and south Blown him, what a mouth he's got. Now when he was a baby, we'll all go number when his poor old mother used to feed him with a shovel. What a gap! Poor chap! He's never been known to laugh! If he did, it's a penny to agree that his face would fall in half.

Presenter26:40

That was Tommy Steele and what a mouth. Some of the things you've described to me sound like the way you've lived your life, you know, the presidential suite, Ford Rand and I, all that stuff, sounds a bit like the person who almost had the cancer before. There you go. Yeah, you've always lived your life. Supposing it had gone another way, which is the most politest way of saying I died. Would I have said, oh, wish I hadn't, you know, done all those tours with those rock stars?

Danny Baker26:52

There you go. Yeah, you've always lived yourself.

Presenter27:04

Or blown all my money on extraordinary holidays where I took everyone I knew off to these one. No, I don't see the point of having money in the bank. And equally, I've had no money loads of times. I've got no money now. At this moment, I have no money. But I live like I've got twenty million pounds. And it's a tremendous trick if you can carry it off. Is this an attitude shared by your wife, Wendy? Yep, pretty much. Wendy'd like to think she's more sensible, and she's not quite as optimistic as me. But I genuinely live like Bertie Wooster. You have been tarred with the laddish brush. There was a whole period when, you know, I barely think I could open a tabloid newspaper without a picture of you, Gazza, and Chris Evans. Some bender somewhere. Yeah, it said some bender somewhere. That's what you've got to examine.

Danny Baker27:36

The whole period when you know

Danny Baker27:41

Yeah.

Presenter27:46

Three at the time, very well-known working-class fellas in a pub, is a bender. And not only that, and then it became a 24-hour, and then a 48-hour. Did you never do that then? We certainly went into pubs for a couple of hours. And Paul Gazzard couldn't, Paul can't drink, he never could drink. And literally, he's one of them fellas who get drunk and pour it away while you're talking to him. You know, well, Chris certainly isn't like that. I'm, you know, I was, I had two kids at the time. And I'm not saying he used to come around and we were to sit there and read Keats and Shelley to each other. But given that we were three non-drug takers, we weren't cocaine takers, so we'd sit there with pints in front of us. You'd take a photo of that, and boom, oh, they're at it again. The lads are around. Unbelievable. By that time, I'd been through a rock and roll background. So it was nothing to me to be suddenly represented as. It's quite flattering. I think I was 34, 35 to be a wild man, to be the new kind of, you know, Oliver Reed, Richard Burton, and Richard Harris. I'll buy that. I'd now kind of half-cultivate the idea that I might have been a wild man in my youth. That's good, that's a good thing. Let's have some music, Danny. What's next? This is the antithesis of what we're talking about. I love usually forced and airsats in motion. I don't mind that. But I also am in awe of the majesty and elegance of the great songwriters, as most people would be. And so I thought, well, I'd better choose what I think is the most beautiful song ever written, and an unusual performance of it.

Presenter29:09

It's by Bernard Cribbens, but rather like the Peter Seller song was produced there by George Martin before The Beatles, so was this. I believe this is the most beautiful song ever written, and it's an absolutely sumptuous version of I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face.

Speaker 229:22

I've grown accustomed to her face.

Speaker 229:28

She almost makes the day begin.

Speaker 229:35

I've grown accustomed to the tune She whistles night and noon Her smiles, her frowns, her ups, her downs are second mate.

Presenter29:51

That was Bernard Cribbens, and I've grown accustomed to her face. How long have you been married, Annie Baker? I've been married since 88, but Wendy and I have been together thirty years. So this life that you've had, this rich and fantastic life full of sort of families and, as you say, sort of trikes in the hall and buggies, and your wife and her sort of big family of ten that she comes from, you are all alone on the desert island. Your life is very narrow and quiet and small. How are you dealing with that? I could be alright with that. Obviously, we're just doing a what if. Certainly nobody could live like I broadcast. You'd have a heart attack. That's all there is to it. So I'm pretty good on my own. I'm all right. I'll be alright.

Danny Baker30:04

Yeah.

Danny Baker30:06

Usen

Danny Baker30:14

Yeah.

Presenter30:29

That's always been a mantra of mine. I'll be alright. That's where you find yourself. So what do you start doing now? You'd have to adapt. There's no point bellyaching about it. Right, I'm on this island. Let's start now. Would you allow yourself-I mean, we know clearly that you have a terrific disregard for your, well, you probably wouldn't even call it a career, for how you spent your working life. No, I don't know. Again, I hope I like what I do. No, I'm not saying you don't like it, but I don't know. But you do an authority, is obviously what it is. Yeah. But you don't regard it very highly. I mean, you're not. I don't think anyone would. Why could how could they? But that's a terrific disregard. Had I written Forty Towers, then I might be sitting here saying, well, you know, that was pretty good. You know, it it but that's not a mischaracterization. That is a terrific disregard.

Danny Baker30:50

No, I'm not saying you don't like it, but you don't want all

Danny Baker30:53

Yeah.

Danny Baker30:54

You don't refuse.

Danny Baker31:01

How do I write before?

Danny Baker31:06

Have

Presenter31:10

Uh yeah, okay. It's a no, it's a disregard. I wouldn't say it's a terrific one because you put my arm up my back and there's some of the scripts I've written. I think that's pretty good. As a by-product, my radio shows cheer people up and I know when I was ill the mail I got and I don't underestimate that but neither can I gush about it because in the end it's self-regarding nonsense. But what you can't do is dedicate your life to enriching strangers' lives. You can't. If I sat here and said, well, you know what, I wish I'd sacrifice more of my home life to actually make strangers happy, what a bizarro world we're talking about there. Let's have your final disc then on that note, Danny Baker. What are we going to hear? The last disc is, as you probably know, there's a thread of sort of 58 to 60. I'm trying to keep these eight records I heard before the age of six, which hopefully seeded and coloured everything that came after it, from big youth to tangerine dream. Whatever love of disparate music I have since then must have been seeded by these records I heard before that time. The next one is the cusp of the coming era. It is just before the Beatles and this is the era before it, which I have a lot of affection for, but I'm aware it didn't change the culture. And nothing sums it up better than Cliff Richard, who has become a figure of fun, but was an enormous, tremendous entertainer and

Danny Baker31:42

There.

Danny Baker31:45

The log

Presenter32:24

Summer holiday, the end of summer holiday when he's up on the Acropolis and singing the next time and it's a lovely song and it's uh but it is the last hurrah of a kind of innocence.

Presenter32:34

They say I'll

Danny Baker32:35

Love again someday, truer love will come my way.

Danny Baker32:42

The next time

Danny Baker32:46

But after you there'll never be a name

Danny Baker32:59

They say that I'll find happiness in someone else's wall.

Presenter33:04

That was Cliff Richard and the next time. This is the point then, Danny, where I give you the books. You get the Bible and the complete works of Shakespeare to take with you to the island, and then you get to take a book of your own. What would you like to take? I'm going to take the most of S. J. Perrimon. Taking away that book, which is a compendium of all his work, obviously. And taking that away would never ever tire. Even now, I've read it and I've read it and I've read it and it's a touchstone to me. I am not familiar with some of the phrases. They came and they hit you upside the head and you think, whoa, I didn't know language could be used like that. Just simple things like, he doesn't call it an overcoat or a raincoat or even a Macintosh. He calls it a Mackinac. And you think, a Mackinaw? I must salt that. Oh, wait, that's a terrific name for a coat. And so I continually read and reread the most of S.J. Perramon, and I'm continually surprised by it. And it's a dear old friend, and so that's the book I take. Okay, and a luxury too.

Danny Baker33:10

Period.

Danny Baker33:13

What would you like to take?

Presenter33:54

This is the this was the toughest one for me, and so on the tube here, I was looking down at my shoes, I said.

Presenter34:00

To myself, I said, I'll take these blue suede shoes. I love footwear. And these shoes I will wear into the ground. I treat these like everything else in my life. I like them, and I wear them every single day until they fall to bits. And then I'll buy another pair of Outre shoes. I'll take my blue suede shoes. There's a lot in that, both in the phrase and in the comfort of them. Right, they are yours. And if you had to save just one of the eight discs that we've heard today, which one would you save? I'll save Bernard Cribbens. I've grown accustomed to her face because away from humanity, it would remind me of the best aspects of humanity and the best aspects of the sumptuousness of its sentiment and the warmth of it remind me of the best aspects of life and family. Danny Baker, thank you very much for letting us hear your Desert Island discs. Thank you very much.

Presenter35:25

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