Dame Edna Everage

Speaker 20:00

Hello, I'm Kirsty Young, and this is a podcast from the Desert Island Discs archive. For rights reasons, we've had to shorten the music.

Speaker 20:08

The programme was originally broadcast in nineteen eighty eight, and the presenter was Sue Lawley.

Presenter0:28

My Castaway this week is a woman who by any standards has become a phenomenon of the age in which we live. Her present success as a First Lady of the Theatre belies her comparatively humble origins. Yet the fact remains that it was from the Melbourne suburb of Mooney Pond, South Australia, that she has risen to enjoy a position of unrivalled influence throughout the civilized world. Her relentless pursuit of perfection has made her the role model of thousands of decent middle class women everywhere. She is, of course, housewife triumphant and global superstar, Dame Edna Everidge.

Presenter1:07

Dame Edna, to be cast away alone with only your thoughts and a little music, and is that your idea of heaven or hell?

Dame Edna Everage1:14

Well, Sue, first of all, thank you for that beautiful little speech. It was from the heart, and it touched me very, very deeply. I would be at first, I think, a little bit lonely on a desert island, and yet in a spooky spiritual way, and I think I can be pretty frank and upfront with you on this in-depth programme, sometimes I feel a little bit lonely inside. I'm up there, the adulation of the crowd smothering me, the affection, the constant stroking that I get from my enormous global public still doesn't satisfy that little

Speaker 11:37

Yeah.

Dame Edna Everage1:50

Rather isolated little girl inside me.

Dame Edna Everage1:53

So being on a desert island would evoke that a bit. It would remind me of the inner loneliness of the Megastar.

Presenter1:59

But you are essentially a coper, aren't you? You are essentially a very capable woman. You could fend for yourself.

Dame Edna Everage2:05

Oh, I think so. I think so. As a matter of fact, I think I've got a few little enzymes in me, not to say hormones, which would enable me to carve out a pretty rough

Dame Edna Everage2:16

Existence for myself on a desert island. And remember, I was born on a desert island, Australia.

Presenter2:23

Well now, how have you gone about choosing your music, your eighth record?

Dame Edna Everage2:27

I've always loved music, Sue. I love music, and when I finish my beautiful shows I sit there listening to beautiful records. And I've chosen music sung by women.

Dame Edna Everage2:40

Because I'm a bit of a feminist. I'm the acceptable face of feminism. Remember when Jermaine Greer was just a little girl, she used to come to my kitchen begging for sandwiches and things. I think she was a bit underprivileged.

Dame Edna Everage2:51

And if I had known that she was going to be as tall as that with the food I pumped into her, I think I might have desisted a little. But I think I gave her first lessons in feminism. She got them a bit wrong. Because I think you can be feminist and feminine as well.

Dame Edna Everage3:06

And these are women singing, women's songs.

Dame Edna Everage3:11

My first choice is a woman from my hometown of Melbourne.

Dame Edna Everage3:15

She was named after Melbourne, her name Nellie Melbourne.

Dame Edna Everage3:20

And she was a dame. She was one of the first great Australian dames in a tradition, crowned by me, of course. And this is a spooky old seventy eight of Dame Nellie Melbourne, singing a song which I think evokes for all of us a place of origin.

Presenter4:06

Dame Nelly Melbourne singing Home Sweet Home from the opera Clary the Maid of Milan by Sir Henry Bishop.

Presenter4:13

We hear a lot, Dame Edna, about your fame, your your super stardom, but not quite so much about Edna the Child. What were you like as a little girl?

Dame Edna Everage4:22

I was a very shy child, Sue. I still am a shy woman. I think most people who meet me I know, just before we started this delightful broadcast, you said

Dame Edna Everage4:32

So sweetly you took my hand, and that courtesy was quite unnecessary.

Dame Edna Everage4:36

And you said, what a shy person you are to meet. And I am.

Dame Edna Everage4:40

People think of me as so upfront, even brash, but in reality I'm deeply vulnerable and shy, and as a kiddie, do you know I used to learn little poems and songs at school, and I was too shy to sing them to my aunties.

Dame Edna Everage4:56

I had to hide behind the curtains in our lounge and pretend to be the wireless. I remember that

Dame Edna Everage5:04

My mother would say Edna

Dame Edna Everage5:07

Let's hear nymphs and shepherds or

Dame Edna Everage5:09

Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam, or one of those other lovely old carols. And I was just I'd blush and I'd be tongue tied, and they'd pop me behind the curtains and say, Pretend to be the Wireless Edna and my bell like notes would come out through them.

Presenter5:26

Now, I don't want to embarrass you, but I I mean, did you know even then as a child, Dame Edna, that that there was something special about you? I felt different.

Dame Edna Everage5:37

I felt, although I was in the throng, I felt apart.

Dame Edna Everage5:41

I knew that when Dame Nature stooped over my bassinet when I was a bubber,

Dame Edna Everage5:46

that she'd planted a very special thing in me, a little talent. She'd given me a gift.

Dame Edna Everage5:51

She's given you, in a in a small way, Silver gift.

Dame Edna Everage5:55

A gift of a talent that somehow or other

Dame Edna Everage5:59

had to be given away to be kept. Does that sound a bit metaphysical? I give things I give my gifts away, Sue, in order to keep them. Now that is metaphysical, it's almost incomprehensible. But I do it night after night on the stage of my beautiful flesh and blood shows.

Presenter6:14

It's a sharing, you all know.

Dame Edna Everage6:15

It is a sharing, it is a giving of myself. Let's have a second record.

Dame Edna Everage6:20

My second record is a song sung by Dame Joan Sutherland, another wonderful Australian dame and a personal friend. She's going to sing something not operatic, but something that reveals her talent in the popular field. If I had a talking picture of you.

Speaker 26:43

Oh you've got it every time I met the woo. I would sit there in the room of my lonely troop, And applaud each time you whispered, I love you. Are you on the screen the moment you claim it you Uh

Dame Edna Everage7:09

Holding over me to war I guess it should I

Presenter7:17

It might be less if I heard all the picture of you.

Dame Edna Everage7:27

That was not Linda Ronstadt. It was our very own Dame Joan Sutherland, singing If I Had a Talking Picture of You, of course, from Lucia de Lammamore, I think. With the English Chamber Orchestra. Conducted by her husband, Richard Bonning, a delightful and supportive man.

Presenter7:44

Damn, let me ask a question which I think a lot of people don't know. Indeed, it it's it's a mystery to many. How did you become a star?

Dame Edna Everage7:53

Well, I was born a star. I was, isn't it funny? I think when my mother in the m maternity ward you know, there she was, you know, just getting her feet out.

Dame Edna Everage8:04

And she said,

Dame Edna Everage8:05

To the nurse she said, What is it? and they said, I think it's a megastar.

Dame Edna Everage8:11

But who discovered you? Well, of course I as I say, I pretended to be the wireless as a little girl, and then I gained confidence, or the appearance of confidence, because, as you know, Sue, most of life is acting as if. You might be nervous, but act as if you're confident. I hope a lot of people will be helped by this broadcast.

Dame Edna Everage8:30

Act as if you've got the courage to go out into that world and grab what you need, and it'll work it will.

Dame Edna Everage8:38

I acted as if I had the confidence to step on to the stage, and I was in a lot of little plays at kindergarten school.

Dame Edna Everage8:44

And in church, too, because I'm a deeply religious person.

Dame Edna Everage8:48

Mother Theresa isn't a close personal friend for nothing.

Dame Edna Everage8:51

And uh

Dame Edna Everage8:53

I was spotted in a passion play playing the part of Mary Magdalen. I was cast against type there. Little did I know there was a talent spotter in the audience.

Dame Edna Everage9:02

who snapped me up and I started appearing in semi professional shows in Australia with Barry Humphreys, an unknown and still a comparatively unknown Australian performer.

Dame Edna Everage9:12

And of course I stole the show every time, just talking about my life, talking about the things that concerned me, and things concerned women and housewives. And I think the women in the audience empathised. They felt at last they had a voice in the theatre.

Presenter9:21

Yeah.

Presenter9:28

This was in the fifties. I know you you came um to your first success in London, I think, um, in about nineteen fifty-nine when uh

Dame Edna Everage9:36

Huge success. Well, not quite. I came to London in'Fifty Nine and I potted around a little bit. It was mostly as a tourist that I was here, taking coloured slides of the

Presenter9:37

What?

Dame Edna Everage9:46

trooping of the colour and the changing of the guard.

Dame Edna Everage9:49

and of some of the beautiful old things in London Westminster.

Presenter9:53

It is a

Dame Edna Everage9:53

St Paul's Abbey, you know, that type of thing.

Presenter9:55

It is a phenomenal success, yours, there's no doubt about it.

Dame Edna Everage9:58

There's a bit of doubt about it. The British public, I think, seized upon me because I think they still do feel a strong affection for Australia. I am an Australian, incidentally, for those of you who've just tuned in.

Dame Edna Everage10:11

And this is Dame Idna Everidge, Housewife, Superstar, Mother, Megastar and Millionaire S, talking, of course, with Susan Lawley on Desert Island Discs, a historical old programme. And little, of course, did I dream in those days of early success in London that I would receive the accolade of being a guest on this show. And believe me,

Dame Edna Everage10:30

I consider it an honour, Susan.

Presenter10:32

Well, I'm I'm glad you do, but

Presenter10:34

I do at the same time want to ask you about what I think is a slightly difficult question. Ask, ask, darling.

Dame Edna Everage10:40

Yeah.

Presenter10:40

You see, you're not always terribly nice to people, are you? Yes, I am. Well, you you tick them off, you tick off your audiences for not listening sometimes, you criticise their clothes or the husbands they've brought with them.

Dame Edna Everage10:43

You do side

Presenter10:52

Um you you nearly did Larry Hagman a deal of damage on your television programme. You dropped him through the floor, didn't you?

Dame Edna Everage10:59

Darling, that's called tough love. Now, was your mother, Susan now let's be honest here, was she all the time adoring and stroking to you, or did she sometimes give you a little smack on your body? She did, I yes. Did she? And the rough edge of her tongue from time to time? Not because she was being horrible to you, it was her way of caring.

Speaker 211:12

Uh

Presenter11:12

Did she?

Dame Edna Everage11:21

Her way of loving you. A little tough love never did a kid any harm, and it never hurt an audience. And if these people think they can come in off the street and misbehave in my shows, eat chockeys, take flashlight photographs, let their attention wander for a second, I'm sorry. I will not tolerate it.

Presenter11:39

Let's have your third record.

Dame Edna Everage11:40

My third record is sung by a beautiful person. Of course, my bridesmaid, Mrs. Douglas Alsoft, Madge, is a New Zealander. But they're not all like that. There are some lovely New Zealanders and attractive ones, too. And one who really appeals to me is another dame, whose damehood, by the way, I recommended to the Queen. Dame Kiri Tekanawa. A delightful human being, a beautiful singer, of course, and a big star. And I want...

Dame Edna Everage12:10

us all to listen to her singing a song, which any woman would s sing, I think, who looked like Kiri, as they looked at themselves in the mirror cleaning their teeth in the mornings.

Dame Edna Everage12:25

That was Dame Kerry singing I Feel Pretty. I'm sorry we don't have time for more of that song, but that was more or less what it's about. I Feel Pretty, and she is pretty, too.

Dame Edna Everage12:36

And that's all. Want

Presenter12:38

Yeah.

Dame Edna Everage12:38

It goes on a little bit longer, but

Presenter12:38

It goes on.

Dame Edna Everage12:40

That's that's the gist of it.

Presenter12:42

Come on.

Presenter12:43

Dame Edna, when did you get your dame damehood?

Presenter12:47

Uh

Dame Edna Everage12:47

I can't remember exactly, Sue.

Dame Edna Everage12:49

But

Dame Edna Everage12:51

It was the services to world culture.

Dame Edna Everage12:53

And for really helping cement the ties between England and Australia, and after all, let's face it, I'm Australian royalty.

Dame Edna Everage13:00

It was a marvellous moment for me a marvellous moment, and it's helped my career, I have to tell you, though I think when you're a dame you have to tip people a bit more. There are slight disadvantages. So if it's ever Dame Sue Lawley

Dame Edna Everage13:12

Remember, darling, you have to dig just a little bit deeper.

Presenter13:16

I wanted to ask you, really, about being a role model. As you've said many times, that for thousands of housewives you are a great example. And yet you've had your problems, haven't you, in your family ni life, not least a very sick husband to cope with.

Dame Edna Everage13:33

Well, a man who's been clinically dead now six times that's sick, I suppose.

Dame Edna Everage13:38

Um yes, I have had my problems. I don't this is an interrogation or something, Sue. I was told this was going to be an enjoyable experience. Yeah.

Presenter13:48

No, I just

Presenter13:50

I just wondered how you managed to cope.

Dame Edna Everage13:52

Yeah.

Presenter13:52

Prince.

Dame Edna Everage13:52

Uh

Presenter13:52

Yeah.

Dame Edna Everage13:52

Don't

Presenter13:52

Okay.

Dame Edna Everage13:52

I so

Dame Edna Everage13:54

I have coped, I have been helped by my public.

Dame Edna Everage13:57

These people that you have suggested, hinted, and inferred that I have some kind of s contempt for some of the time. No, you didn't say that, Sue. Sorry, darling. Now there are tears welling up in your eyes. But I I

Dame Edna Everage14:10

I have help been helped immeasurably by the public who adore me. The letters that have flooded into me you cannot open it.

Presenter14:17

Well, I think that's right, and I think that is part of your success, isn't it? But people know you've had huge problems.

Dame Edna Everage14:19

Your success, isn't it? But people know.

Dame Edna Everage14:23

People know that I'm human, prick me and I bleed, as Shakespeare said.

Presenter14:23

But he's a bad.

Presenter14:27

Yes, and of course there's been your your daughter too who

Dame Edna Everage14:30

And my daughter, I'm not of well daughter, I don't care who knows this. Well, of course everyone does, it's been in the gutter press.

Presenter14:31

Yeah.

Dame Edna Everage14:36

Shoplifting charges, you know. She's a disturbed and troubled girl.

Presenter14:40

And I blame

Dame Edna Everage14:42

And I blamed myself too. I did. I'm one of those people. If there's a bit of guilt lying around, I'll pick it up.

Dame Edna Everage14:48

You know, these people who get up in the morning, they clean their teeth, they put on their shoes, they go out the door and they say, wait a minute, I've forgotten something. They run back and they pick up a big haversack of guilt and put it on their back, carry it through the day. You don't need to do that. Misery is optional, possums. But I'll say this. Ordinary people who aren't megastars have had problems with their kiddies as well. So I'm not going to blame my fame. Of course, John Valmay exploited it. She said, oh, you never gave me enough attention. Too interested in your career. She said, wicked things, wicked, wicked things.

Dame Edna Everage15:16

You know, I've had to wash that girl's mouth out with soap and water, metaphorically, because you can hardly get to her, you know. She's a bit of a greenham common type for a bit.

Dame Edna Everage15:24

She's mingled with all sorts of oh, it's it's it's a worry, but I'm letting her go. I'm detaching with love, that's the thing. Shall we pause there and have another record?

Dame Edna Everage15:36

I have to have a little cup of tea. You've upset me now, Sue, and I want this to be a happy programme. This is a s very spooky record.

Dame Edna Everage15:44

It's rather raunchy too. It's sung by a German woman. This is for ethnics and multiculturals listening on the continent, because this goes to the continent, this show. A woman called Margot Leon, who lived in Berlin at the time of

Speaker 115:55

Leon

Dame Edna Everage15:59

Oh, um, at the time of Michael Yorke and um Eliza Minelli.

Dame Edna Everage16:04

And um

Dame Edna Everage16:05

It's sort of, you know, that that spooky kind of pre Hitler period. And she's singing a song called Sex Appeal. The only words in English are the word sex appeal. Who knows what it means? But it has a funny little feel to it, and I adore this song.

Speaker 116:11

Then?

Speaker 116:19

Ichwerzo Gernin sex appeal.

Speaker 116:24

Jovoulin Faisal Profit.

Speaker 116:28

Ach, what's the dasperengefie?

Speaker 216:28

Vasler das Virange.

Speaker 116:31

Ein sexapil im lostil.

Speaker 116:36

Von Ausen waam, vonienen ke.

Speaker 116:41

So health the sex, so health the

Speaker 116:46

Dachapnach am Liebsten werich sex pilons,

Dame Edna Everage16:55

That was Margot Leon, still with us, singing Sex Appeal, of course. And Margot began her career with Marlena Dietrich in Berlin in the twenties.

Dame Edna Everage17:06

And uh she's not quite so famous as Marnay Nibert, I think, rather intriguing. Wonderful record.

Presenter17:11

Wonderful.

Presenter17:13

Damed, can we talk briefly about you and your body?

Dame Edna Everage17:16

Um that's uh pretty obvious, doesn't it?

Presenter17:18

Yeah.

Dame Edna Everage17:19

Uh Oh no after that song.

Presenter17:20

I just wonder how great a part you feel

Presenter17:24

Fashion and grooming have played in your success.

Dame Edna Everage17:27

I'm a very physical woman, and I'm lucky, because although I've got a few little spots where Dame Nature, I think, could have perhaps performed

Dame Edna Everage17:37

A few miracles and didn't. My legs are my strongest asset. Talking of Marlena a minute ago, I beautiful legs the envy of so many members of my audience. I never thought of them, of course. In fact, I was always a bit embarrassed about them. I didn't realise that

Dame Edna Everage17:54

I'd never realized, Sue, that I was in fact a great beauty.

Presenter17:58

You are you are of course very tall. You're what six foot two I think in your

Dame Edna Everage18:02

Well, in very high heels I am. Yes, have you

Presenter18:04

Yes, yes. Have you have you found that a a disadvantage?

Dame Edna Everage18:06

Um that

Dame Edna Everage18:07

Digital

Presenter18:07

No.

Dame Edna Everage18:07

No, no more than has Princess Michael of Kent. She's a statuesque type of a woman, and I think there's nothing worse than being round shouldered. I try to keep the shoulders back, because mostly I have to sort of stoop to talk to people slightly, and it's pretty bad for the back.

Presenter18:10

He's just

Presenter18:21

Back

Dame Edna Everage18:22

Now you're proud of my height and I'm proud of my figure and I'm not ashamed of being beautiful.

Presenter18:29

Yeah.

Dame Edna Everage18:29

Yeah.

Presenter18:29

But it it must make it very difficult to buy clothes, your your your

Dame Edna Everage18:29

But it

Dame Edna Everage18:33

Well, I don't buy them any more. Does this sound elitist? I have them made.

Dame Edna Everage18:38

I think with my means and

Dame Edna Everage18:42

With the work that I have to do, I really and I mean, to be seen shopping, browsing around, it's not on, frankly, you get mobbed.

Dame Edna Everage18:50

I have things made by designers all over the world, including my son Kenny.

Dame Edna Everage18:55

And you you of course radiate

Presenter18:56

good health. I mean, as you sit here um this morning.

Dame Edna Everage18:59

I do. People want to touch me. They say, What beautiful skin you've got.

Dame Edna Everage19:04

And I have feel it.

Presenter19:05

Feel feelness. I mean it is beautiful.

Dame Edna Everage19:07

I mean

Presenter19:08

What is remarkable is that you felt it enough.

Presenter19:14

Yeah.

Dame Edna Everage19:16

You do work under an enormous amount of stress. I do. I live with stress. I live off my nerves. So I do a little bit of Alexandra technique, a bit of primal screaming.

Dame Edna Everage19:27

Tiny bit of rebirthing, inside, transformation, est.

Dame Edna Everage19:31

Um, a bit of Tai Chi. Shall we have another record? Let's have another record, this time sung by a great English woman.

Dame Edna Everage19:39

I think my favourite British entertainer alas no longer with us a woman who ended on a desert island, the Isle of Capri was where she spent her last years.

Dame Edna Everage19:50

And here she is singing a song with one of the few songs that helped England win the war.

Dame Edna Everage19:56

Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye sung by the inimitable.

Dame Edna Everage20:01

Immortal Gracie Field

Dame Edna Everage20:06

Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye. Cheerio, here I go on my way. Wish me luck as you wave me. You wait.

Speaker 120:17

Say goodbye, not a tear, but a cheer, make it gay.

Speaker 120:24

Give me a smile I got

Dame Edna Everage20:26

And keep all the while in my heart while I'm away. Till we meet once again, you and I. Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye. Wish me up as you wave me goodbye.

Speaker 120:44

Uh

Dame Edna Everage20:44

All the way back.

Speaker 120:44

Oh my god.

Dame Edna Everage20:55

Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye. What a rousing song that is, and was. Sung by

Presenter21:00

Gracie Fields. You have, as we were saying, Day Matt, Edna, acquired a great personal fortune. What does it mean?

Dame Edna Everage21:07

Well, what did I say?

Presenter21:14

But I was sitting on mine. Uh Uh

Dame Edna Everage21:16

Mm-hmm.

Presenter21:16

Mean?

Dame Edna Everage21:16

Yeah.

Presenter21:16

I I would quite like to ask you what gave you greatest pleasure to spend your money on?

Dame Edna Everage21:16

I

Presenter21:22

I think people would be interested to know that.

Presenter21:24

Will

Dame Edna Everage21:27

Myself.

Dame Edna Everage21:30

Do you know, I spend s I do so little for myself. I think of myself so rarely, Sue Lawley.

Dame Edna Everage21:36

that every now and then I think

Dame Edna Everage21:38

What a novelty it would be to lavish a little bit of TLC tender loving care, not to mention pounds, shillings, and pence, on me

Dame Edna Everage21:48

And I try to make a point of doing that.

Dame Edna Everage21:52

Uh

Presenter21:52

Uh

Dame Edna Everage21:52

Every day.

Presenter21:52

Uh

Dame Edna Everage21:52

My

Presenter21:52

Yeah.

Dame Edna Everage21:53

Uh

Presenter21:53

Thinking of your success and your millions, and you do have lots and lots of houses around the world, don't you? London, Melbourne, Malibu, Closters.

Presenter22:02

Which one's your favourite?

Dame Edna Everage22:05

My favourite home is my home in Australia.

Dame Edna Everage22:09

It's not my home any more, it's a museum, the Royal Edinburgh Museum. It's the home where Norma Dye spent her early married life, where he first had his

Dame Edna Everage22:17

Earlier, earliest, very earliest, urological twinges.

Dame Edna Everage22:22

And uh

Dame Edna Everage22:23

It means a great deal to me where my children, Brucy, Kenny, and Valmey, were brought up, when they were less of a handful than they are now.

Speaker 122:28

Less of a hat.

Dame Edna Everage22:31

Where I had a little salon, you know, in the mornings I s set the kitchen table.

Dame Edna Everage22:36

And in the afternoon after school, a lot of little local kiddies used to come in, and I'd they'd sit around the table and eating lovely sandwiches that I'd make them.

Dame Edna Everage22:45

Clive James is a little other bit of a.

Dame Edna Everage22:48

Bit of a handful. Little Clive, Germaine, of course, Olivia Newton, John, and the Bee Gees all to find fame later, and all, of course, to write me such touching letters of gratitude. It's remarkable.

Presenter23:01

Can I ask you for your sixth record, please?

Dame Edna Everage23:03

My sixth record is Another Dame.

Dame Edna Everage23:08

Very much with us in fact, she's hardly changed at all. A delightful woman, again with a most supportive husband. Dame Vera Lynn, singing one of her less well known songs

Speaker 223:18

Uh

Speaker 123:18

Yeah.

Dame Edna Everage23:21

which remind me very much of when my little ones were playing around the home in Mooney Ponds, the house I've just referred to. This is a song dedicated to a little boy.

Dame Edna Everage23:32

A little king without a crown. To me it's Verilyn's best number. Underneath the table on the kitchen.

Speaker 223:40

Get lost.

Dame Edna Everage23:41

Yeah.

Speaker 223:41

On a soapbox upside down

Speaker 223:47

Happy and content

Presenter23:48

And help we adore that little king with our

Presenter24:00

Dame Vierolin singing A Little King Without a Crown, although she wasn't a Dame then.

Dame Edna Everage24:04

Well, it must have been sung in the very early nineteen forties. I remember it, of course, when I was Quite a young girl, and it's my favorite virulin number, and how marvellous she's still not only in our midst, but doing such wonderful work to help people, and singing like a bird.

Presenter24:21

Where do you go now in your career, dear Mednih?

Dame Edna Everage24:25

I go up. I'm sorry, it's my favourite direction. I'm sorry, call me old fashioned.

Dame Edna Everage24:32

I'm gaining a bit of confidence on this show, too. I think I've had enough stick from you, Sue Lawley.

Dame Edna Everage24:37

I'm hoping to go to the United States of America. I've got a lot of time for Americans. I'm not going to try to be a big success there. It doesn't matter to me. I've learned to take things in my stride and get things into proportion. You're asking me about money before poking and probing into my financial affairs. But for heaven's sake, I consider it as a bonus what I do. If money comes to me, it's just a little bonus. Dame Nature gave me all these beautiful things, and they've been lent to me. My talent is not mine, Sue Lawley. It has been lent to me. And if I misbehave or I don't care and share with others, it'll be repossessed like the vacuum cleaner by the finance company.

Dame Edna Everage25:17

But the United States is a country that's full of fascination for me, and what beautiful singers it's produced. It occurs to me, of course, we've not had an American singer on this programme. And let's make amends right now with Deanna Durban. Who remembers her? Rhymes with Suburban.

Dame Edna Everage25:36

And here she is singing her most famous number, and one of my favorite songs that I'd love to have on my desert island.

Dame Edna Everage25:43

It's raining sunbeams.

Speaker 225:45

Uh

Speaker 125:45

Uh

Presenter25:45

I

Speaker 125:45

We need more Finds I need no chart. The weather bureau in my heart is saying it's raining

Presenter25:55

Rainy

Speaker 125:56

Unbe

Speaker 225:58

Yeah.

Speaker 225:59

Uh

Speaker 125:59

The world is young, it's spring again, and I can laugh and sing again, For I know it's raining sun.

Dame Edna Everage26:10

Deanna Durban.

Dame Edna Everage26:12

What a delightful singer.

Presenter26:13

She was singing It's Raining Sunbeams for One Hundred Men and a Girl.

Presenter26:18

Dame, let me ask you now, as as we come towards the end of the programme. We are, I'm afraid. But we've talked about your your enormous um fame and your success and a little about your wealth, and I am sorry if you felt I was.

Dame Edna Everage26:31

No, no, I had to give you a little bit of stick there, darling. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. There's so much I can take and no more.

Presenter26:34

I'm sorry.

Presenter26:37

Mm. I understand. And as I say, I'm sorry. But I wonder

Presenter26:41

How you've managed to retain in all of this the common touch.

Dame Edna Everage26:46

Well, because I am common.

Dame Edna Everage26:49

I come after all from Australia, and we're all a little bit C O M O N, as my mother used to spell it. Not to mention O R D I N A R Y.

Presenter26:54

No.

Dame Edna Everage26:58

We can't help it. And there's nothing wrong with being a little bit earthy.

Presenter26:58

We can't help.

Presenter27:02

So your instincts are still, are they, very much those of the suburban housewife?

Dame Edna Everage27:06

They are, I am still.

Dame Edna Everage27:09

metaphorically up to my wrists in washing up water.

Dame Edna Everage27:13

I still wear spiritual marigolds.

Dame Edna Everage27:17

And, you know

Dame Edna Everage27:19

It's it's something I come from. It's my roots. And whatever beautiful glamorous clothes I wear, however gorgeous I might look,

Dame Edna Everage27:28

However I might be seen and photographed, or the Larry Hagmans, or the

Dame Edna Everage27:33

What more the royal families of this world?

Dame Edna Everage27:37

I am fundamentally a Melbourne housewife who's struck it very, very lucky, and of course been prodigiously

Dame Edna Everage27:46

Endowed by Dame Nature.

Presenter27:47

I worry, really, you mention your clothes, and so star spangled are they. I mean, are you going to have suitable clothes in which to be cast away on the island?

Dame Edna Everage27:54

Well, I know I wouldn't be able to take all my beautiful gowns, particularly those lovely things my son, Kenneth Everidge, of Melbourne, Manila.

Dame Edna Everage28:03

And uh London has run up for me.

Dame Edna Everage28:07

But uh I'll probably wear a nice simple track suit. I'd be lucky you know, that's comfortable, isn't it? For travel. I like travelling in a track suit. Look good in the wild.

Speaker 128:12

Yeah.

Presenter28:12

The trap

Dame Edna Everage28:16

I think so. So long as it was a nice bright colour and I could be spotted amongst the exotic foliage. So you're intending to escape?

Presenter28:17

It's almost a mistake.

Presenter28:22

Uh

Dame Edna Everage28:23

I'm going to enjoy myself on this desert island. I'm not going to languish.

Dame Edna Everage28:29

little bit of swimming and paddling, perhaps a bit of nude sunbathing.

Dame Edna Everage28:34

There are very few of us who would be resourceful enough to live on a desert island. I'm one of them, I because I have an inner life. I can draw upon these reservoirs of strength.

Dame Edna Everage28:45

and serenity which thank goodness have built up over the years.

Dame Edna Everage28:50

Uh

Presenter28:50

Betsy. Clear your

Dame Edna Everage28:51

Or eighth record that you'd like to take then? I want to hear something about another very famous dame, perhaps the most famous dame in the history of the well, not the history of the world, but

Dame Edna Everage29:00

Twentieth Century, myself.

Dame Edna Everage29:02

This is from a little known album of mine, The Sound of Edna, a collector's item. If you ever find it in some spooky old sh thrift shop or Oxfam shop, snap it up, Possums.

Dame Edna Everage29:14

This number is about my bridesmaid Madge Orsop and me. I wish we could play it all.

Dame Edna Everage29:19

But it's a little rather bouncy little number.

Dame Edna Everage29:23

And I feel, although I have big problems with Madge,

Dame Edna Everage29:27

That somehow this song reflects the fundamental warmth that I feel towards this wretch.

Dame Edna Everage29:33

I had the shingles, she had them as well.

Dame Edna Everage29:37

When I run a temperature, she's hot

Dame Edna Everage29:41

Since my far-off wedding day When she caught my bouquet

Dame Edna Everage29:46

She captures it from

Dame Edna Everage29:49

People say that she's shy.

Dame Edna Everage29:54

Kenny claims that she's bomb

Dame Edna Everage29:58

Cause we do everything together. My prize metal.

Dame Edna Everage30:06

Wasn't that delightful? Just an excerpt, unfortunately.

Presenter30:09

My bridesmaid and I by dame Edna Everidge.

Dame Edna Everage30:12

as I wrote it myself.

Presenter30:13

Did you? With Nick Rowley, a most gifted composer. And it's from your own record, The Sound of Edna. Unobtainable.

Dame Edna Everage30:14

With

Presenter30:21

Now you have to choose, Dame Edna, which of those eight records you would

Presenter30:25

clutch on to above all others.

Presenter30:28

Yeah.

Dame Edna Everage30:28

Uh

Presenter30:28

Let me

Dame Edna Everage30:29

We think I think I would love to take Dame Kiri to Kanawha with me.

Dame Edna Everage30:34

Singing I Feel Pretty, it's a short song.

Dame Edna Everage30:37

But

Dame Edna Everage30:38

It says it all, doesn't it?

Presenter30:40

The book. You have the complete works of Shakespeare. You have the Bible, Deymedna. I'm sure you've you've read both of those.

Dame Edna Everage30:47

Oh yes, well.

Presenter30:48

What what other book would you like to take with you?

Dame Edna Everage30:52

My file effects.

Dame Edna Everage30:55

I think that's my favorite book, because it's

Dame Edna Everage30:58

Crammed with all the gorgeous things that I do, and the names of my friends.

Dame Edna Everage31:03

And they

Dame Edna Everage31:04

X directory telephone numbers of famous people. So even though I won't have access to a telephone.

Speaker 231:07

So even

Speaker 131:07

Uh

Dame Edna Everage31:10

Or, indeed, a post box. I will have my memories, and my chubby old Filifax will

Dame Edna Everage31:17

will really remind me of so many happy times.

Presenter31:20

And your luxury. That almost sounds like your luxury, really. But you are allowed a luxury as well as the book. What would you like?

Dame Edna Everage31:27

I think

Dame Edna Everage31:28

Mare Jolsop would be my luxury.

Presenter31:31

Well, you you can't take a a a human being you see because it has to be an inanimate object.

Dame Edna Everage31:35

Oh, I can assure you Medge is an inanimate object.

Dame Edna Everage31:40

You promise.

Dame Edna Everage31:41

Well, when I saw her last she was pretty well comatose.

Presenter31:46

In that case, I shall make an exception, because this has been an extraordinary occasion. I shall make an exception, although I don't wish to set a personal. Well, you will be, but I mean, as you're assuring me, she's inanimate, I think.

Dame Edna Everage31:57

Well, uh, yes, she I can assure you the woman is well, she's a a terrible trial, but I'd miss her if I didn't have her on that island, just sort of sitting there like a veggie.

Presenter32:04

Perfect.

Presenter32:08

They made no average.

Presenter32:10

I have to say it has been a great pleasure and an experience. Thank you very much indeed.

Dame Edna Everage32:14

It's been lovely being marooned with you, Sue Lawley, too. And I'd like to thank you for inviting me on this historical show. And I'd like to thank the millions and squillions of people who are listening not who started listening, but of course who had telephone calls from people already listening, telling them to whatever they do.

Dame Edna Everage32:33

Tune quickly to the BBC to hear this historical broadcast.

Dame Edna Everage32:39

I've loved choosing all these women. I've loved putting in a word for women. And I'd like to thank you for having me.

Dame Edna Everage32:46

On your little island, Sue Lawley, this is Dame Edna Embridge saying

Dame Edna Everage32:52

A joyous heart always

Speaker 233:02

You've been listening to a podcast from the Desert Island Discs archive. For more podcasts, please visit bbc.co. uk slash radio four.