Stubby Kaye

Stubby Kaye0:00

Hello, I'm Kirsty Young, and this is a podcast from the Desert Island Discs Archive.

Stubby Kaye0:05

For rights reasons we've had to shorten the music. The programme was originally broadcast in 1984, and the presenter was Roy Plumley.

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Elements of this programme may offend or upset some listeners.

Presenter0:33

This week, our castaway is the American actor, singer, and comedian Stubby Kay.

Presenter0:39

Stubby, you have just eight records to take to this desert island. Do you play discs a lot? I know you make them, but do you play them? No, not too often, uh, Roy. I have cassettes. All right, you can have cassettes on the island if you prefer. All right, that's fine. We've heard you singing in in plays and films. Are you a musician? Do you read music? No, I can't read a note of music. As a matter of fact, when I did the show, uh

Stubby Kaye1:01

Matter of fact, when I

Presenter1:03

Guys and dolls when I did Little Abner, or any time in television appearances when I had to learn a strange song, a new song.

Presenter1:09

The only way I'd learn it is if they'd uh lock me in a room with a piano player and let him play it over for an hour, an hour and a half, then give me a cassette or a recording to take home. And I'd play it over repeatedly and repeatedly.

Presenter1:21

And that's how I would learn the song. Did you have any kind of plan in choosing your eight records? Well, I I just thought that I'd take eight that I would associate with people I knew or that

Presenter1:32

The subject matter of the song meant a little something to me. You know, I just didn't want to choose anything at random. Let's put it that way. What's the first record you've got under your arm?

Stubby Kaye1:36

But

Presenter1:42

Well, since I'm going to be living in a loincloth under a tree and eating sand and communing with nature This is a glamorous picture, you're paying attention.

Stubby Kaye1:50

But no question about that.

Presenter1:54

I thought uh you're laughing.

Stubby Kaye1:54

I thought

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And you're a small audience for a desert island. I thought that I would play a record like The Great and Late.

Presenter2:03

Nat King Cole's nature boy kind of put me in the mood for being alone on this island. Is that okay with that? That's all right. We'll start with that.

Stubby Kaye2:09

Yeah.

Speaker 32:09

That's all.

Presenter2:11

There was a boy

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A very strange enchanted boy.

Presenter2:20

They say he wandered very far, very far.

Speaker 32:26

Uh

Presenter2:26

Overlooked.

Speaker 32:26

Band and see

Speaker 32:32

I'm a little shy.

Speaker 32:37

I

Presenter2:38

And sad am I

Presenter2:42

Nature Boy by Nat King Coe. What a wonderful man he was. You worked with him, of course. Yes, I worked with him in the movie Cat Baloo.

Stubby Kaye2:47

But yep.

Presenter2:49

And and he w he was just a marvelous person. I mean that personally.

Presenter2:54

And uh

Presenter2:55

He was always bragging about his little twin daughters. Mhm. Crazy about them. Good man to know. Now, Stubby, you're a New Yorker, right? Certainly.

Presenter3:05

Now I'm trying to place that accent. Uh Brooklyn.

Presenter3:09

No, the Bronx. I'm from the Bronx, yeah. It's pretty close to Brooklyn, you know, there's Manhattan and the other places. Any precedent in the family for show business? No. As a matter of fact, Roy, uh nobody in the family was in show business, not the immediate family, although I did have a cousin who did some uh cabaret many, many years ago. But in my immediate family

Presenter3:31

None of us were connected with show business. How did you get stage struck? What's your name? I was pushed out on the stage.

Stubby Kaye3:34

I don't

Presenter3:42

in a theater to sing a song, a vaudeville theater variety. And I saw the people and I I I just got so nervous, full of stage stride, I wet my pants and ran off the stage. But I I tell you, as I got older I I guess, you know, I was a little fat kid in the neighborhood and uh

Presenter3:58

I tried to be jolly and happy and did all the jokes and clowned at parties and so forth and so on. I was the one that put the lampshade on the head and said, Hey, look at me Hey you know.

Presenter4:08

And then when I got into school, just before college, in what we call high school in America, I I took part in the variety shows in school, singing rhythm songs and working in the uh comedy sketches. And one thing led to another. I uh You worked with the celebrated Major Bowes on his uh radio television. Yes. Uh that was like your Carol Levis, you know, touring amateurs. I went to a bar and grill, a saloon, a tavern in the Bronx owned by a friend of ours, and uh they had an amateur contest one night and I got up and sang a song with some impersonations in it.

Stubby Kaye4:26

To show you.

Presenter4:41

And I won the prize, and one of the waiters there tipped me off about uh going to see an agent down in Broadway, one of the small-time agents, who sent me over to a Major Bose audition. And I was lucky enough to be selected to go on the radio, on the program, and then tour America in an amateur show. Run by Major Bose. Run by Major Bose. It was Major Bose's amateur show. Toured all over America. And what was your act? What did you do? I was the compere, the MC of the unit of the Vaudeville show, and there were about nine acts, and I told jokes between each act. And then I did a song that had impersonations in it.

Presenter5:19

And I gave it a real patriotic finish, finishing up with President Roosevelt, and it brought the House down. You gave him a lot, didn't you?

Speaker 35:25

You gave up.

Presenter5:26

I tried. You know, I loaded the guns each performance.

Stubby Kaye5:27

Right.

Presenter5:30

But it was great experience. Well, when the war started, you got on to uh the troop entertainment business. You began working for USO, which is the American equivalent of our NCAA. Yes, it was called the United Services Organization.

Stubby Kaye5:35

You began with

Presenter5:42

And I entertained let's see now, well, all around America, of course, the camps, naval bases and so forth and so on. And then we went over to Labrador, Greenland, Iceland, Newfoundland.

Presenter5:52

England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, North Africa, Sicily, Germany, Austria, France, Belgium. You know, we went all over entertaining the troops. I want to hear something about this, but let's have another record first. What's your second?

Stubby Kaye6:00

Uh

Presenter6:05

Well, a guy that I met in North Africa and in London who did a show for the troops, a fellow named Bob Hope.

Presenter6:12

Uh he did a show at the Odie in Leicester Square.

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and they had speakers out in the square for people who couldn't get into the theatre.

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I was one of the members chosen to appear.

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But I'll always remember him from this record, which is a classic.

Speaker 36:27

Thanks for the memory.

Speaker 36:31

Of sentimental verse

Speaker 36:33

Nothing in my purse.

Speaker 36:36

And chuckles when the preacher said, For better or for worse, How lovely it was.

Presenter6:46

Bob Hope with Shirley Ross. What do you remember about wartime London and the Blackouts?

Presenter6:51

Oh, I think the spirit of the people was fantastic.

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And uh like you know and so many other people know, y y you never knew if your uh home was gonna be there when you got there at at night and or if you were gonna get up in the morning or if if your place of business was gonna be there, you know. And the way they they they just stuck together was beautiful. It was marvelous. Were you with a big unit or no, no, they were just uh

Stubby Kaye7:10

Well I've learned it.

Stubby Kaye7:12

No.

Presenter7:14

Three girls, a magician, and myself, just the five of us. Mhm. And we went around to all the American bases and a lot of the British bases too.

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entertaining and uh the first time I appeared at a British base

Presenter7:28

Oh, I died. I was terrible.

Presenter7:30

Course I talked too fast, much too fast, and the jokes died, and I didn't know that until one of the sergeants explained it to me. He said, Next time you perform for some of our lads, he says, talk a bit slower.

Presenter7:42

And I did about a week or so later and I was a sensation. Being just a a five-handed unit, you could go off and play to some of the small outposts, I presume.

Stubby Kaye7:49

Uh

Presenter7:50

Yes, uh we could go into the the biggest place in the world, the biggest hangars.

Presenter7:55

Big airfields, any place we could go into a small hospital ward and do a show.

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For about fifteen guys who were uh sick in bed and wounded, etcetera, etcetera. We went all over. It was marvelous, concentrated experience for you, wasn't it, doing all those shows every week under different circumstances. Oh, sure. And you coped. You learned to cope.

Stubby Kaye8:03

Organ

Stubby Kaye8:09

Yeah.

Stubby Kaye8:11

Yeah.

Presenter8:15

You know, there wasn't any beautiful, glamorous theater, no gorgeous dressing room. Sometimes you'd you'd change your clothes in back of a truck with a curtain separating the girls from the magician and myself, you see.

Speaker 38:25

Mm-hmm.

Presenter8:25

And sometimes you'd walk on stage, there wouldn't be any fifteen or twenty spotlights, there'd be one great big light at the back of the hall aimed at the stage, and and that was it. And then eventually after all those travels back to the United States and it's time we had your third record, whatnot.

Presenter8:42

Well, I'll tell ya, you know, I I'm mixed up in some hobbies, like uh

Presenter8:47

cameras, I love cameras, you know. And uh I play very bad golf. I have the only golf clubs in the world with claws on the end of'em. I rip up courses. My third hobby is model railroading. And there's a guy in Hollywood that has

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Big railroads set up all around his property, and you can actually ride in it.

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And his name is David Rose.

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the marvelous conductor and composer. And David wrote, as we all know, the marvelous holiday for strings. But one of his songs which appeals to me, and I'd love to take this record with me to the island

Presenter9:23

It's the stripper.

Stubby Kaye9:52

Yeah.

Presenter10:19

David Rose in his orchestra playing one of Mr. Rose's evocative tunes, The Stripper.

Presenter10:25

Now, Stubby, back to the United States. Was there a lot going on? Was there plenty of work about? What did you do? You mean after the war and all? Yes, you fought. Well, I started uh.

Stubby Kaye10:32

What might

Presenter10:34

Playing some affordable dates, you know, and broken down nightclubs, just trying to.

Presenter10:39

Get going again.

Stubby Kaye10:40

Is it rough?

Presenter10:41

It wasn't easy, let's say that, but there were some jobs, and all all the time I kept auditioning for Broadway shows. And they always say the usual thing, don't call us, we'll call you.

Stubby Kaye10:49

They all

Presenter10:52

You worked in some pretty strange places, I believe. Oh, boy, have I worked in some strange joints.

Presenter10:59

I remember there was one place I work

Presenter11:01

It's an office building in Ohio, and you go down one flight.

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And then you go to this place, you knock on the door, and a little guy opens a little slot.

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And you tell em who sent you. Oh, this was a speakeasy.

Speaker 311:14

Yeah.

Presenter11:14

Well, it was a don't talk so loud.

Presenter11:17

And you and you walk in and this is the place. Now

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They had two sisters who danced. They had a boy and girl dance team. And they had me, the young innocent comic, the fat comic, innocent as could be. And that's the floor show.

Presenter11:33

And the two dames that dance, I didn't know that they did a double strip and I introduced them as a very, very fine dancing duo, you know. And these two dames come out and they start to take it off.

Speaker 311:38

And I had to

Presenter11:46

Well, now the worst part of the job was that after the sh floor show the audience, the people get up and dance. Then after the first dance set a feller pushes on a tiny piano, and he sits down at the piano and he knows everybody in the room by first name.

Presenter12:03

He's been a piano player daff for about eight years, and he knows every judge, every cop, every lawyer, every district attorney. He knows every politician in this town.

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And he goes on for about thirty five minutes telling the dirtiest jokes in the world.

Presenter12:18

And I have to follow that. After the first show, opening night, I had three hours to kill, so I went to a movie. When I come back and I knock on the door and the guy opens the thing, he says, Hey, the boss wants to see you, just like in a Warner Brothers movie. So I go into this back office and there's the boss sitting there in his tuxedo with white socks.

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and a cigar in his mouth with the tobacco juice dripping down his mouth.

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He says, Where was you?

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Where'd you go?

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I said, Well, after the show was over, I went out and I went to a movie, got some air and went to a movie. He said, After the show, he says, Don't go to no movies. He says, Stay here and sit at the bar and mix.

Presenter12:58

I said, What are you talking about? He said, Sit with the customers and make em buy you drinks. I said, I don't drink. He said, We'll give you tea. It looks like scotch.

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It's all the scotch, that's the routine.

Presenter13:09

And that's what I was doing for one week, and I couldn't wait to get out. So you asked me if I wore strange joints. Oh, boy. And then, of course, you always had to deal with the drunks.

Stubby Kaye13:14

Or strange joint.

Presenter13:18

The drugs didn't bother me. I'll tell you why. A lot of guys get a lot of pleasure out of putting em down.

Presenter13:24

I don't, because sometimes a drunk can get a little nasty, see.

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And they may not be that drunk. Then they can understand if you're putting them down and making em look foolish and they won't like that. So I play with them. And sometimes I get them up on the stage.

Presenter13:39

And ask them if they'd like to sing a song or something and let them make a real fool out of themselves. That's a good way to act. And that's the best way. And then when they can't, they say, Well, why don't you go over there and sit down and enjoy the rest of the show? And the audience applauds, and the guy's wife makes them shut up, and that's it. And then nobody gets into trouble, and it's a happy moment. You wept with some dance bands.

Stubby Kaye13:52

And then no

Presenter13:57

Oh, yeah. I went I was in California and I worked at the Orpheum Theater with Freddie Martin and his orchestra. And uh we did a week there and about the fifth day he asked me if I'd like to go on tour with him up and down the coast of California for about two or three weeks playing some Warn Nighters. And I said, What'll I do at at at a big dance? You know

Presenter14:17

He said it's very simple. We play to two or three thousand people a night in these gigantic halls.

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He said that around ten o'clock I'll get them to come down around the bandstand as close as they can.

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And I'll introduce you and you'll do your vaudeville act. I said marvellous so I did that.

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I've also worked with a band called uh

Presenter14:35

Bob Chester. Yes. And uh I worked with Charlie Barnett.

Presenter14:39

Wonderful band. It's time we had another record, what next?

Presenter14:42

Well, one of my favorite singers really is Lena Horne. I worked with a lady in Vaudeville in Detroit, Michigan, for a full week and she was just a great gal, a real professional, and the audiences loved her.

Presenter14:55

Today they do, as much as they did then.

Presenter14:58

And uh I'm grateful to Lena personally because when I auditioned for Guys and Dolls I had to sing a song.

Presenter15:05

And the song that I sang was a song that Lena sang, and I've never forgotten it. It's called Deed I Do.

Speaker 315:12

Do I love you?

Stubby Kaye15:16

Oh my I Uh

Stubby Kaye15:19

Honey I do.

Stubby Kaye15:27

Do I want you all my

Speaker 315:34

Honey

Stubby Kaye15:37

Yeah.

Presenter15:40

Lena Horne singing Deed I Do. And that was a lucky number for you. Well, I I I think so. I got the job in the show, you know, on Broadway and and my goodness, I was I was thrilled because I had taken

Presenter15:53

So many, so many auditions before that, and nothing had ever happened. And finally, I uh

Presenter16:00

Was told that I was going to be nicely, nicely, for guys and dolls. Nicely, nicely, Johnson. You were a larger gentleman in those days, weren't you, Stubby? Larger? I was fatter.

Stubby Kaye16:08

I assume.

Presenter16:10

I was putting it tactfully. I know you are. You talk about people weighing so many stones. I was a quarry.

Stubby Kaye16:10

I would say putting it

Presenter16:18

And you had that wonderful number to sing, Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat. That stopped the show. That was a beautiful song, and I will never forget the song.

Stubby Kaye16:21

That's all at the ship.

Presenter16:25

And I always have that in the back of my mind of what happened before that when I didn't have it. Yes. And what led up to it. But making the movie, Guys and Dolls, was a great thrill. I had a chance to work with Gene Simmons and two fellas who have done pretty well in show business, named Frank Sinatra and Marlon Brando.

Presenter16:45

And uh lovely Vivian Blaine, who of course was in the show on Broadway. You played it in London as well. We did it in London at the Coliseum, of course.

Presenter16:53

Ted Hockridge played the Frank Sinatra part after Jerry Wayne, the American, played it.

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And uh

Presenter17:00

The late Sam Levine, who did it on Broadway, did it for a while, and then his place was taken by the late Sidney James. And Liz Webb played the Mission doll. And it was just a wonderful association over here. And the the people in the London company

Presenter17:17

We're great with the American accents. Robert Cawdron was the Broadway detective. Brannigan was the cop's name.

Presenter17:23

The American accents are wonderful, as evidenced in the show I just did Dear Anyone. But uh you know in the show the song Guys and Dolls was done by Johnny Silva who played Benny South Street and myself.

Presenter17:36

But in the movie, when you got a guy like Frank Sinatra hang hanging around, you got to put him in the numbers. Yes. So they put Frank in between Johnny Silver and myself, and together the three of us sang Guys and Dolls, and it was a real kick.

Presenter17:51

Singing and working with Frank Sinatra. How did you get on with him? Oh, he was marvelous. He's a great guy.

Presenter17:57

So many things are said about Frank, about his behaviour here and his behaviour there.

Presenter18:02

Whatever you hear about him, cross it out and put a put about ninety per cent of good stuff against it, because you you don't hear about all the good stuff that he does, all the people he's helped who are in dire need, and the charity work he does that is never publicized, he won't have it.

Presenter18:19

He's a great guy, as far as I'm concerned. A really great guy. Guys and dolls. Here it is.

Speaker 318:24

When some lazy slob gets a good steady job And he smells from Vitalis and Barbosol Call it dumb, call it clever

Speaker 218:36

But you can give us forever that the guy is only doing it for some time, some doubt, some doubt, the guy's only doing it for some time.

Presenter18:51

Guys and Dolls by Johnny Silver, Stubby Kay, and Frank Sinatra. You had another big hit, Lil Abner. Oh, yes, everything in Dog Patch, USA. Yes. And I was marrying Sam, the deacon. That show didn't come over here because, being based on a local cartoon character, it would have been a bit remote for London. Well, isn't the cartoon in England? I've never seen it in England. Is that a fact? Mm-hmm.

Stubby Kaye19:12

Is that a fact?

Presenter19:14

I didn't know that. I know they showed the movie in London, and they were afraid to take a chance and show it

Stubby Kaye19:15

I know

Presenter19:19

In the uh provinces. You also did it in Las Vegas. Did it in Las Vegas, as we did Guys and Dolls, sure. You were by now a very well established Broadway and Hollywood character. You did a show here called Man of Magic. Is that done in New York as well? No, no, no. That was a show that we did in

Stubby Kaye19:33

Has that got a new

Presenter19:37

Uh nineteen sixty six into sixty seven. I think it only played for about five months or so at the Piccadilly Theater. It was about Houdini. It was about Houdini, and I played the part of Toby Kesta, his uh

Stubby Kaye19:40

I think it'll

Presenter19:48

His agent, his manager. We've talked about all these successes. Just to trim you down to size, let's talk about the rumor about Romeo. Want me to leave now?

Stubby Kaye19:55

Want me to leave now?

Presenter19:57

What can you tell us about that? As little as possible.

Presenter20:01

I was in California, and I was mailed a script. They asked me to read it.

Presenter20:05

And I read it and I telephoned him and said I like it, I'd like to do it, but certain changes have to be made.

Presenter20:10

They said that the changes would be made. They have writers standing by. Let's get into rehearsal. So I came over to London from Los Angeles.

Presenter20:19

And when I said to them, Who are the writers that you have?

Presenter20:22

They said we're not at liberty to divulge their names. Then I knew I should have gone back to Heathrow.

Presenter20:29

But I'd signed a contract, I keep my word, and we suffered through it. It died in Bristol. Died?

Presenter20:36

That's not the word for it.

Presenter20:38

We opened and closed in one performance. Then we went to Oxford and I think we.

Stubby Kaye20:40

Great.

Presenter20:43

Played three or four nights there. It was terrible. Oh, dear. It was terrible. You had a big success, a long tour in the United States of that nineteen twenties show, Good News, the College Music. That was one of the most delightful periods in my show business career. Alice Fay and John Payne. In Good News, with all the Brown to Silva and Henderson tunes and a couple of extra tunes thrown in. And I had the pleasure of singing Keep Your Sunny Side Up. Well, that doesn't come from Good News. No. But it was Brown, the Silva Henderson Extra. Yes. And it was just great. We toured America for about ten and a half months, and the audiences were just superb.

Stubby Kaye21:10

No, that was more.

Presenter21:21

We get into Broadway. We lasted three weeks. The critics didn't like it. That's a pity. That's a pity. It was a pity. And it's a funny thing. The audiences in New York loved it, but the critics killed it. And the advance just

Presenter21:33

Felt the pieces you see in New York the critics are.

Presenter21:37

Very, very uh all-knowing and powerful, shall we say.

Presenter21:41

And they can be pretty tough to a show. Well, it's a pretty desperate situation. The virtual he is only one critic in New York. That's right. But uh the good news was marvelous. The kids were great. John Payne was great.

Presenter21:52

But Alice Fay is sensational. What a person. What a lovely lady.

Presenter21:57

And working with her was a truly great experience'cause she's so real and and genuine.

Presenter22:02

And this song is my favorite, and she sang this. This is one of the extras that they threw into the show.

Presenter22:13

I'm

Speaker 322:13

Miss you.

Presenter22:17

Uh

Speaker 322:18

Yeah.

Stubby Kaye22:18

Uh

Presenter22:18

You'll never know just how much

Stubby Kaye22:22

Yeah.

Presenter22:22

Uh

Stubby Kaye22:22

Uh I can

Stubby Kaye22:28

And if I tried, I still couldn't hide.

Stubby Kaye22:33

My love for you

Presenter22:37

Alice Fay singing You'll Never Know. You've just been in a musical in London, of course, Dear Anyone, which unfortunately didn't have a very successful career, although a lot of people were.

Speaker 322:48

No, we

Presenter22:51

and about two months in London.

Presenter22:54

Just one of those things, you know. It it's like baseball. You get up at the plate with the bat in your hand, the pitcher throws the ball, you swing at it and you hope you'll hit it. Well, we got up at the plate in London and we swung at the audience and we hoped they'd hit, but uh the critics hit us back. The critics though I d you see, I gotta take that back because the critics were kind to us. They didn't rap us and they didn't rave.

Presenter23:17

I think we could have told the public more about our show.

Presenter23:21

and made them a little more conscious. You must advertise, Roy, because no circus ever sneaked into town.

Speaker 323:25

Belt.

Presenter23:28

The only one of your movies you've mentioned so far is Guys and Dolls. You've made quite a lot.

Presenter23:33

Oh, I made a few. I made You Can't Run Away From It with June Allison and Jack Lemmon, in which I sang a marvelous song on a Greyhound bus. I was dressed as a sailor.

Presenter23:42

And uh

Presenter23:43

That's one reckon I'm going to take with me to the desert island.

Presenter23:47

Because it's got a lot of life to it, and June Allison and Jack Lemon are in the song.

Presenter23:52

And uh I don't see why we don't play it for the people, do you?

Speaker 223:56

Howdy, howdy, howdy friends and neighbors, won't you step up and shake my hand? I'm an old apple knocker and a pea picker too, and I need a bosom buddy, so I reckon it's you. Howdy, howdy, howdy friends and neighbors, you're the best folks in this great land. I'm a small town doozy, but I ain't been asleep. So I'm downright juicy, but I likes you a heap.

Presenter24:24

Howdy friends and neighbors from You Can't Run Away From It with you and June Allison and Jack Lemmon.

Presenter24:31

What other movies do you remember? Sex and the Single Girl, you were. Tony Curtis. Sex and the Single Girl. Tony Curtis.

Presenter24:38

And uh The Way West with uh Robert Mitchum, British with Mark Sweet Charity with Shirley McLean. Oh she called me Stub the Flub.

Stubby Kaye24:42

Sweet.

Presenter24:48

Hey, stop the flub, how are you? You know, she's a kid herself. She's delightful, just delightful.

Stubby Kaye24:48

They stubbed the floor

Presenter24:53

Mm-hmm.

Presenter24:54

Of course, Cat Baloo, you know. And what what was the other one I did? Oh, I did uh

Presenter24:59

Forty Pounds of Trouble. Did we mention that? No. With Tony Curtis and Suzanne Plechette. I don't remember that one. Forty Pounds of Trouble. We shot that up at uh

Stubby Kaye25:01

No, we're talking about the

Presenter25:08

Lake Tahole

Presenter25:10

And it was a story about the little girl, the kidnapped little girl. That was a straight piece, was it? You played a story. It was a comedy. No, I played the part of a comedy private eye.

Stubby Kaye25:14

You played a drama.

Speaker 325:16

No, I played a

Presenter25:18

And almost got run over by a greyhound bus. For real. For real. It was in a scene, but we cut it hair thin.

Stubby Kaye25:21

Uh

Speaker 325:21

For real.

Presenter25:26

I'm supposed to walk across the street and this bus whizzes by, and I step back just

Speaker 325:26

I'm sorry.

Presenter25:31

In time. Just as well. Let's get back to this desert island business. Yes, of course. Could you look after yourself? Could you build a shelter? Are you good with your hands? Are you a handyman? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. I'm very handy. Can you garden? Can you grow food? No, I can't garden. I guess I'd eat the nuts and the berries and find a goat and steal the milk. I doubt that. Why, that's what they do in the movies. Yeah, I know, but this isn't in the movies. This isn't one of those islands. No, it's not a movie island. What about fishing? Done any fishing? I don't like fish.

Stubby Kaye25:56

It is.

Stubby Kaye25:57

No sound of movie.

Presenter26:02

You don't like Finnish? No, Cannes Simon Alite. Now, where am I going to get Cannes Simon Alit? I don't know, quite honestly.

Stubby Kaye26:05

I got

Presenter26:06

What about trapping? A bear on an island?

Stubby Kaye26:09

On an island?

Presenter26:12

You're not going to get me on an island where there's a bear.

Presenter26:15

Not on your life. Would you try to escape? Would you try to build a raft and and

Presenter26:20

Drift off into the sunset. Would I build a raft? No, I don't think so.

Stubby Kaye26:23

Uh

Presenter26:25

You're not going to try and get off that? Oh, I don't think I would. It's a beautiful, beautiful area. I'm sure it's a lovely place, and I'll try to enjoy myself.

Stubby Kaye26:30

I'll try.

Presenter26:32

And what do I take along? What do I get? What do you give me? Not very much. You have one luxury. You can talk about that now, if you like. One luxury? I think I'd take along a a hard hat.

Stubby Kaye26:40

Yeah

Presenter26:43

Yeah. Like a workman wears, you know.

Presenter26:47

Those yellow hard hats. Oh, protective clothing, yeah.

Stubby Kaye26:47

Yellow

Stubby Kaye26:49

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Presenter26:53

All right. In the meantime, let's have your last record. My last record. Number eight. After all, I'm a New Yorker at heart. I always will be, always have been.

Stubby Kaye26:57

Number eight.

Presenter27:02

Even though I spent many years in California and we're living in England now, but still New York is my home. You are, of course, married to an English girl. I'm married to a lovely, lovely English girl, Angela, former Angela Bracewell of Beat the Clock Sunday night at the London Palladium with Bruce. She used to bring the contestants on. And you're living down in Sussex? We're living in Sussex. And I'll be honest with you, I pay tribute to New York through the voice of Liza Minelli.

Presenter27:29

in New York, New York, and I I would always keep this record with me forever.

Speaker 327:33

Uh

Stubby Kaye27:34

I'll make a brand

Speaker 327:35

And you start

Speaker 327:37

Uh

Stubby Kaye27:37

In all New York.

Stubby Kaye27:41

If I had break it there, I'd make it anywhere. It's up to you.

Speaker 227:54

Uh

Stubby Kaye27:54

You are

Speaker 227:56

Uh

Stubby Kaye27:56

Uh

Speaker 227:56

Uh

Presenter28:03

New York, New York by Liza Manelli. If you could take only one disc out of the eight you've played us, which would it be? The one you just played. New York, New York. New York, New York. That's home, you know, and uh I guess I'm a little old fashioned. Home is where the heart is, really. I'm serious about that.

Presenter28:18

And you've told us about your luxury, you want a hard hat. What about the one book you're allowed? On the island you already have the Bible and the complete works of Shakespeare. You can take one other book. Well, I I wouldn't take the little black book for the simple reason there's no phone there.

Presenter28:35

So I think uh

Presenter28:37

Just to keep my hand in and keep busy, I think I might take a diary, mhm, and just keep note of how many cocoanuts full, how many monkeys run up the tree.

Presenter28:47

And looking out at the horizon, counting the clouds, make note of all that. You know, interesting things can happen on a desert island. Indeed, they can. You might run into a talkative snake. You never can tell.

Stubby Kaye28:54

Yeah.

Presenter28:57

We look forward to reading your diary when you get back. And thank you, Stubby K, for letting us hear your Desert Island discs. Thank you. Tata for now.

Presenter29:06

Goodbye, everyone.

Stubby Kaye29:15

You've been listening to a podcast from the Desert Island Discs Archive. For more podcasts, please visit bbc.co. uk slash radio four.