Frankie Howerd

Speaker 40:00

Hello, I'm Kirsty Young, and this is a podcast from the Desert Island Discs Archive.

Speaker 40:05

For rights reasons, we've had to shorten the music. The programme was originally broadcast in 1982, and the presenter was Roy Plumley.

Presenter0:30

This week, our castaway is the comedian Frankie Howard.

Presenter0:34

Frankie, could you endure prolonged loneliness? You mean l on alone prolongedly, on a desert island. That's it. Well, it's as the old joke goes, it's better than the alternative. What's that? Being dead. Well, yes, you see what I mean. But uh I wouldn't like it for for too long. No, I don't. What would you be happiest to have got away from?

Speaker 30:46

Yeah.

Frankie Howerd0:46

Uh

Presenter0:52

Well, I think the thing is that I would sometimes be happiest to get away from would be me. And that's the one thing I'd be thrown together with, if you just get what I mean. Very close.

Frankie Howerd0:59

Very close.

Presenter1:00

I wouldn't be happy to get away from people. Traffic jams. They're definitely traffic jams. That's not a traffic jam within a thousand miles.

Frankie Howerd1:05

That's

Frankie Howerd1:07

They drop it.

Presenter1:10

How much of a musician are you? Do you play the piano? I started to when I was a child, but I gave it up because I couldn't concentrate. I was just lazy, I think. But I loved music. I always liked music. What I used to do when I was a little boy, I used to conduct concerts. I used to listen to the radio in those days, and they used to have concerts on the radio. So I had my own in my mind. I used to hum, would you believe? Also, I used to. I was in a choir, of course, when I was a little boy. Did you find it difficult in choosing your eight records to narrow it down to the state? Yes, I did. You know I did, because I sat there.

Frankie Howerd1:37

Did you run

Frankie Howerd1:41

Yeah.

Presenter1:44

Almost sweating with worry, because I'll tell you why. I like music in general. I like all sorts of classical pop, modern music. And to try and get eight, if you'd said to me, now you've got 2,000 you can have on, I'd be much easier, really. But to try and pick eight, I found very, very difficult. Well, you did eventually get down to. Just eight. What's the first one? Well, the first one, and I'll tell you why. First of all, I used to be in the old, I came in at the end of the old musical era. I was in the musicals. I started in the musicals, halls, after the war. But it was the end of the great days of the music hall. Also, during my life, I've liked to give parties, which you might call rather common. We jig around doing dances and Scotch reels and all sorts of things. No grace much, but plenty of a bit of grog. Figgo. Vigo is the word, isn't it? Lairy a bit. A bit knees up Mother Brownie. So I thought to myself, what sort of party do you think I would chip? I'm not as an eye. I want to dance a bit, don't I? I want to just sit there looking at a tree or something. So I thought, if I want to jig around, so what better than what? The most obvious thing for a knees up, isn't it? Knees up Mother Brown, would you believe?

Frankie Howerd1:57

Are you asking?

Frankie Howerd2:00

What

Frankie Howerd2:02

Just date.

Frankie Howerd2:34

Yeah.

Presenter3:23

Knees Up Mother Brown sung by the audience at the old Metropolitan Edgware Road. I bet it's the first time you've ever been asked to play this on this program, isn't it? Did you ever play the Met? Yes, oh yes, met many times, the old Met Edgware Road, yes. Now, you were born in the city of York. Did you stay there during your childhood? For about three years. And then my father brought me down to London to live on the outskirts of London because he was in the army. So he was moved down, so I went with him. Did you have brothers and sisters? I have a brother and one sister, yeah. But they weren't born then, so they weren't born in York, I was. Your father became ill, I believe. Did that mean that times were hard? Oh, yes, because we're speaking, as you know, at the moment, in what is known as a recession, and I was brought up in the first recession. Times were very hard. But we had a lot of pleasure out of life. Did you have the occasional visit to the theatre? Yes, I went to the theatre. I tell you what I did, you see, but I was very fortunate in some respects, though we were poor. We had what we call a straight theatre near us, where you could see straight plays, the Royal Artillery Theatre in Woolwich. And we also had the music hall at Lucian, the Rusham Hippodrome, you know, where there were great musical artists like Racy Fields and Max Miller. So I dodged between the two. So I grew up, really, like a kind of split personality between the music hall and the rather posher, the more serious theatre. My first theatrical experience, would you believe, well, I'm sure you'd believe it, was to see a pantomime. We sat in the gallery to see a pantomime. Did it make a terrific impression on you? Yes, it did. Yes, I loved it. I thought it was fabulous. I loved it. And I used to go to the pictures in those days. Yes, I was very show business struck. I only thought I'd be in it, mind you, but I was also hypnotised to it. Now, you won a scholarship at school? Yeah, you look surprised. I did. I wonder. It surprised me. I think it surprised everybody. What did your parents want you to be?

Frankie Howerd4:42

Good.

Frankie Howerd4:43

Yes.

Speaker 35:00

Uh

Presenter5:07

I don't honestly know. I really don't know. I think I have a feeling my mother would have liked me to gone to the church. You wouldn't believe that, but I think so. I've never prodded, and so, see, my father died when I was very young. So a stronger influence, obviously, was my mother, but I don't think she never said, you must do this or you must do that. You did, in fact, teach it in Sunday school. So I was a Sunday school teacher at 13. Yes. And I was very popular among the children because I decided that some of the stuff I was teaching was rather dreary. And so I used to make up the things as I went along and tell stories, which was very naughty. And told them. Well, not jokes. Oh, no, I used to tell them stories about Robin Hood as I remember. And the rest of the Sunday school teachers used to look at me and say, isn't he marvelous? He's riveting their attention. Little did they know what I was telling them about. Mind, it was all very innocent and irromantic. But I felt very guilty about that. I thought I wasn't preaching entirely the word of God. But at least it kept them interested, and they came to the thunderstorm.

Frankie Howerd5:43

I go.

Presenter6:04

It was the first audience in a way, I suppose, that kind of audience.

Presenter6:06

Egotistical then. Oh dear, naughty. What? Let's have your second record. Oh, yes. I thought the first one was a bit common. I'll show my night posher side now, my more ruffane side. I like a lot of classical music, all classical, I say all most classical music. One of my favourites is Chopin. I like Chopin very much. And I thought I'd choose a bit of Chopin, but I wouldn't choose one of those flowery bits, you know, those little bits which are marvellous. But I thought I'd choose something quiet, gentle, to go to sleep to. Is you go to sleep with it or buy it or to it? Well, no, no, anyway, to sleep. And it's a nocturne, which means night, doesn't it? Yes, it's not nice. In C minor. And it's played here by Arthur Rubenstein, who I saw a lot of times, who was a genius.

Speaker 36:06

This has been

Frankie Howerd6:37

Whatever, anyway.

Presenter7:50

The opening section of Chopin's Nocturne.

Presenter7:53

In C minor, opus forty eight, number one, played by Arthur Rubinstein.

Presenter7:59

When was it that you veered towards the theatre?

Presenter8:03

Oh well I veered towards it when I was thirteen because I was in the Church Dramatic Society, the other church I was telling you about, the Sunday school. And I used to have an impediment oh dear, I go here I go again a bit, an impediment of speech in those days, particularly when I got nervous. And I think they all felt sorry for me, so they put me in a play, a play called Tilio Bloomsbury. Now I was a Ian Hay, Ian Hay, that's right.

Frankie Howerd8:23

Ian Hay or Ian Hayes.

Presenter8:26

And I played the part of Tilly's father because I was too young. I was only 13 to play anything else really. I couldn't play Tilly, and she was too tall for that. So I played Tilly's Father with a beard. And that was the first time I smelt grease paint. And then I had no ego in on the stage to enjoy it, just to be part of it. And I thought it was marvellous. And it was one of the most exciting nights of my life. I completely forgot myself, but I got a good press. The local press gave me very good notice. And the church warden said to me, Frank, he said, Now that's what you must be, an actor, an actor. So I thought, right, now I know how I'm meant to be. What was your first job when you left school?

Frankie Howerd8:33

But all for that.

Presenter9:00

In the docks in Tooley Street, in London, Hazelwood.

Frankie Howerd9:03

Doing what?

Presenter9:04

Well, as little as possible. I got a job eventually as a filing office boy, really, a filing clerk. I was appalling. I really was a disaster. I got the sack.

Frankie Howerd9:06

Yeah.

Presenter9:14

All I was thinking about was shows. I see, I was in dramatics. I'm at dramatics all the time, and I used to run a concert party. That's right. I got my ego back by that time. With your name over the title. Yep, n it d I was in we in this concert party I used to call it Frank Howard's Knockouts Concert Party. And there were twenty two items and I was in twenty one. Now, how I managed to get out of the 22nd, I don't know. Well, you were the boss. So I was, I don't know. I made sure that. Oh, dear. Then the war came along, and you were planning to join ENSA and entertain the troops? No, no, when the war came along, first of all, I got the sack from this first job. I was in an insurance company, which I quite liked. I mean, they weren't kind to me. But then the war came along, and I thought to myself, well, I'm bound to be rejected by reason of insanity. But for the first time, I actually passed an audition for my medical, and I thought, well, I'd think I could be more helpful if I was to be sort of trying to be funny. So I went to ENSA in Drury Lane, Drury Lane Theatre, and they looked at me and I said, well, I don't know. No. So, no. So I was not. So I went into the army. So I went through the whole war, really, as a soldier. After your basic training, where were you posted?

Presenter10:25

Well, I went down to South End to start, but then I got posted to an experimental station. My sergeant major never quite knew what I was there for. He wanted to call me the unknown quantity. You were guarding South End from invasions. Indeed. And they're very grateful, may I say? I should think so. Yes, I was out on the seashore. There were sandbags and a rifle. There was no bullets, mind you, because they couldn't afford bullets. True. But we tried to scare them off by sheer making faces. The German invasion. There were several of you guarding. Not many, though, actually. And used to walk up and down at night waiting for German parachutists to land as nuns or something. Or vice versa. I know that. And it gets very cold in winter in South End. Yes, except it was in summer, Roy. Put your face wrong. That's right. But it was very nice. No, it was lovely countryside. I got lovely in Brown. I love that bit. Where did you go next? Oh, I went down to South Wales when I was in the world. Did you defend that? Well, I think they defended me. I did a lot of shows there, and I did a lot of shows in South End. I still couldn't do it sort of as a part of the army, but I did it in spare time. A civilian concert party. Well, it wasn't the I did some civilian concert parties as well, even though I was a soldier. But I did it in YMCAs and Naffis and just parrot rooms, anywhere they would put up with me. I did it. And then I went over to Germany, France, Belgium, Germany. They made you a sergeant? No, you're wrong. Again, Roy. But near. Near. A corporal. One down. But you are right, because I became a sergeant eventually. I crawled sufficiently to become a sergeant eventually.

Frankie Howerd10:33

You are

Frankie Howerd10:38

Yes

Frankie Howerd10:44

True.

Frankie Howerd10:49

Don't pay this, right?

Frankie Howerd10:56

Vice versa.

Frankie Howerd10:59

Better than

Frankie Howerd11:01

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Frankie Howerd11:10

To defend that?

Frankie Howerd11:38

A co-brottle.

Frankie Howerd11:40

But you are right.

Frankie Howerd11:43

Yeah.

Presenter11:47

Let's have another record. Number three. Well now, the posh side again I think. Uh I like choral music. I also like symphony music, classical music.

Presenter11:57

And I thought on a desert island b s have something joyful and noisy and I kind of think you could you can join in this in a way if you know it. It's a part of the last part of Beethoven's Choral Symphony, which is the ninth symphony. And the hymn to joy. Yes, that's why it's n joy, happiness.

Frankie Howerd12:10

And speaking.

Presenter13:04

Part of the last movement of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, Otto Klempere conducting the Philharmonia Orchestra and Chorus.

Presenter13:12

Now, what happened when you were demobilized?

Presenter13:15

Well, just before I was demobilised, I got in actually got into an army concert party after the war had finished and we were all stationed in Germany and they wanted something to amuse the ladies and gentlemen of the forces. And it was about six months before I was demobbed. And I enjoyed doing that very much. Anyway, the major in charge gave me a little note, a little sort of reference saying I think this man should do it. Like a reference, you should say. So I went to try and plunge into show business professionally. Well, I went to auditions, I couldn't get anywhere. You wanted to get into variety? Well, yes, variety. Yes, because by this time I'd given up the idea of doing anything else, obviously. So it was variety. What sort of act did you have? A patter act. Talking.

Presenter13:57

Very much on the lines of the sort of thing that I got well known for on the radio, which was, oh, no, ah, oh, oh, oh, oh. The thing was, in those days, when I was doing all these acts around as an amateur, I couldn't afford a script writer, so I used to get old jokes that I'd heard from the music hall, Max Miller, and people like that, well-known jokes. And I used to do these jokes, and I used to think to myself, now, how can I make them sound different? So, by sheer cunning, desperation, I used to spin them out. And in order to do this, I used to do all these sort of saying, well, now, now this, well, now, yes, if this woman can. And this went on, yes. That was five minutes to get into the. Then at the end of it all, I used to think the tagline, the fun, I must try and alter that and make it sound different. So I sort of got a more rambling conversational style that way. It was desperation. What is that saying? Out of the necessity is the word mother of invention or something like that. Necessity, mother of invention. That's right. So you were travelling around in variety. Round and round, round. Until you got your lucky break. What was it? Well, it was a break on radio. They were looking for a comedian to alternate with the resident comedian who was called Derek Roy. And he was one week, and they wanted someone for the other week, alternate weeks. And I went for an audition, never thinking for a second I'd get it. And they put me in a room like this, which is all kind of soundproofed or whatever it is, except there were sandbags there, I remember. It was just after the war. And then this lady producer sat behind the glass panel, such as you've got here, your producer. And afterwards, I thought that's it, no good. She came out hysterical with laughter. She said that was marvellous. Did she give you a job? Yes, she gave me the job.

Frankie Howerd14:55

Was it?

Frankie Howerd15:29

So I'll be gonna be able to do it.

Presenter15:32

I can variety band box.

Presenter15:34

At the bottom of the bill? It was a very important programme to millions of people. Oh, it was a very popular programme. Well, in fact, I would have thought it was probably the number one variety show at that time. Well, there you are. That seems a good point to break off your next record. Hmm. What now? Well.

Frankie Howerd15:36

Oh, listen to

Presenter15:48

I went to the music halls and I did a music hall act and my pianist, my lady pianist, was there, and for many years I did a song.

Presenter15:58

I sang What you believe straight, and then I did a sort of comedy thing after it.

Presenter16:03

And often now I'm in restaurants and my manager or p friends, if there's a band, they often ask them to play this particular song because it was the sort of thing as they associated with me over, what, nearly twenty years. It's a sentimental song. And so I've chosen that to remind me really of my musical days. You may think it's an odd choice for musical, but I did this on the musicals and with my pianist. And it's Autumn Leaves. And of course in those days the great singer of it was Nat King Cole.

Frankie Howerd16:45

The falling leaf

Frankie Howerd16:50

Drift by the window

Frankie Howerd16:54

The autumn leaves of red and gold.

Presenter17:02

Autumn Leaves, sung not by Frankie Howard, but by Nat King Cole. You talked about the importance to a comedian of material, and and these days with television and radio and whatever you use a lot of it. You were lucky when years ago a young man called on you one night in Sheffield.

Speaker 417:15

Mm

Presenter17:19

Oh Eric, you mean Eric Seymour? Eric Seitz. Yes, he sent me a letter first and enclosed some scripts in it and I thought Olo is a script writer which I could badly do with because I'd been writing my own stuff till then and he came along and he stayed with me in variety bad monks for a long time writing and then he gradually branched out on his own and wrote for other people and then he performed his own material eventually, yes. And I'm extremely talented boy. He was obviously very, when I first met him, very, very talented. I've been very fortunate because I've worked with an awful lot of talented people. I'm talking about writers at the moment. Oh, a number, a lot of talented writers. I've discovered some, would you believe? Some people have done very well. And

Frankie Howerd17:20

Eric Sey.

Presenter18:01

I I so I made a lot of mistakes in my life, and sometimes m misjudgments, very bad. But my judgments, particularly in those days about writers, wasn't bad. I mean I I found discovered a lot of people who became very famous. And soon you branched out from the music hall. You've done just about the lot, haven't you? Straight plays? Shakespeare? You mean sha straight plays in the sense of the word, I suppose, that they they were um they were straight until you got it. But they were comedy

Speaker 318:18

Bro.

Frankie Howerd18:18

Yeah.

Presenter18:26

Perths. I mean, comedy parts, they weren't uh I wasn't Hamlet, I've no Hamlet complex. Do you find it hard to discipline yourself to stick to the author's script? Yes.

Frankie Howerd18:27

Yeah.

Frankie Howerd18:31

Yeah.

Frankie Howerd18:32

How did the

Presenter18:35

Yes, well it depends on the script. I mean I didn't when I did Shakespeare I didn't think it needed changing very much. Generally speaking you sometimes can amend a little, put a little bit here and then a little bit there just to alter it around slightly. I just upfinished Gilbert and Sullivan. I didn't alter particularly. I did a bit three or four per cent to make it slightly me, but nothing I mean I wouldn't have the impertinence to alter Gilbert and Sullivan. There was a time in the late 50s, I think, mid-50s, you were having a tremendous success and then you had a very bad patch. Well that came toward the end of the 50s, yes, about 59. It was a time when show business was in a very

Frankie Howerd19:10

It was a time when Shobby.

Presenter19:13

unstable position. The music order had collapsed and commercial television had just come in. And you pop singers, of course. The pop singers had taken the d the the the stage. And you had the misfortune to be in one or two unfortunate productions.

Frankie Howerd19:18

And you hops

Frankie Howerd19:19

Oh see.

Presenter19:26

Yes, yes, and partly my own bad judgment. It's silly to blame everybody else. I made mistakes too. But it was a difficult period, let's put it that way. It's a bad period. Well, we'll leave you in the slough of Despond for a moment or two while we play your next disc. What's that? Well, I like all sorts of music. I like opera. And when I was younger, I used to listen to operatic music. I like Puccini because it's romantic and it's got some good tunes in it. And I've chosen a piece of Puccini, but not necessarily the best known, you know what I mean. But it is well known. It's from Tosca and it's love and music. And it was sung a lot on the radio once, or played a lot on the radio on the record by Joan Hammond. So I've chosen that.

Frankie Howerd19:36

But it was a

Frankie Howerd19:38

Yeah, so

Speaker 320:16

I've given all for a lady's mantle. My songs I've given into rebuttal for heaven's beauty.

Presenter20:20

It is

Speaker 320:34

In this my autocrat.

Presenter21:02

Joan Hammond singing Love and Music from the second act of Tosca.

Presenter21:08

Now Frankie, we were talking about that.

Presenter21:10

Bad breakdown in your career twenty-five years ago. You didn't let it get you down. You went off and travelled, didn't you?

Presenter21:16

Well, I used to I walked a lot, as a matter of fact, that's how I travelled. I walked with my legs. Um

Presenter21:22

One, I had to keep going. I worked when I could. I mean, I did one or two summer seasons and I just had to sort of struggle on, hoping to get out of it one day, out of a sort of valley, which I hope one day I would get through.

Frankie Howerd21:27

Mm-hmm.

Presenter21:36

I'm thank God I did. Thank you.

Frankie Howerd21:39

Eventually

Presenter21:41

Well, you mean the satire? Well, what I yes, I went I tell you what, I went into nightclubs, would you believe?'Cause I was I say night and I was a bit desperate. I was needing money. We have to live on something, you know. And I went into a nightclub in London called the Blue Angel, and the nightclub owner was very nice to me, he was a very kind man.

Frankie Howerd21:43

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Presenter22:00

And then I was asked to go to the establishment, which was a young satirical night club, and I thought, I don't think it's for me, you know, this known musical comic doing going this terribly sophisticated nightclub. Anyway, I did go.

Presenter22:15

And it was very successful, as a matter of fact. And from there, I was asked to go onto a television show called That Was Wee That That Was, which was also very successful. And I suddenly, things suddenly took an upturn. And it's a very strange thing in life that for no apparent reason, things started to sort of whiz up again. Yes, indeed. Ups and downs life. And then a very successful American musical. Well, you mean the forum? Yes, I was. I was up in Coventry, would you believe, doing a pantomime. And they said that the American producers and writers were over, and they'd been recommended, I believe, by Sir John Gilgal, would you believe, that I should play this part. And they came to see me in pantomime. And I thought to myself, I've had it, of course, because the Americans, as you know, never seen English pantomimes and have no idea what it's all about at all. And I was doing these pantomime jokes and I thought, dear God, they won't want this. This will be out. I was petrified. So I thought, well, if they come round after the show, that's a good sign. And if they don't, it means they've gone back to London. It was a terribly cold winter, too. Ice and snow. Never forget it. Anyway, I sat there after the performance and waited. I thought, now, will there be a knock or not? And about 10 minutes, bang, bang. I was just giving up hope, and in they walked. They loved it. They were eating popcorn and sucking lollies, ice and lollies. They loved joining the chorus. So I got the part. So I got the part, yeah. Yes, you had a long run. And somebody thought that a toga suited you, and you continued to wear one, and it hit television season. Yeah, that's right, yes. About five years later, Pompey, yes. Yes. Well, see, the forum was based on some plays by Plotus, a very old Roman, rather naughty writer, you see. And so the Pompey was also based on these stories of Plotus, which just to show nothing much alters, does it, really? Because it's all wives chasing husbands and in and out of doors. Same situations. Same situations, doesn't it? The gags are new. Some of the ones we did were not that new.

Frankie Howerd22:37

I was up in

Frankie Howerd23:32

So I got the plot.

Frankie Howerd24:03

The same situation.

Frankie Howerd24:05

Gags are

Frankie Howerd24:07

Some of the ones some of the ones we hit them

Presenter24:11

But it was very successful. How many episodes were that? We did do many. I did.

Frankie Howerd24:13

Go.

Frankie Howerd24:14

We talk too many.

Presenter24:16

Fourteen. Really? Yeah.

Frankie Howerd24:18

Just two series, that's all.

Presenter24:19

Fourteen did one series and did did another one. That's all.

Presenter24:24

Record number six.

Presenter24:26

Well, I was once described in a rather posh paper as a dramatic clown. Now, as you know, the forum, the funny thing happened on the forum was written by Stephen Sondheim, who's a very difficult composer to sing, he is. But he's also a very nice man and a brilliant composer. And I thought, what a clown. So I thought I'll go for send in the clowns, you see. And as you know, we argued, or we didn't argue, we discussed before I should ask Mr Sinata to sing it or Mr. This to sing it. And I thought, well, eventually I plumped for Cleo Lane, because Cleo and I have been fairly friendly for years now. About 20 years I've known Cleo and her husband Johnny and so I've here's Cleo Lane singing it.

Speaker 325:02

Isn't it rich?

Speaker 325:07

Are we a pair?

Speaker 325:11

Me here at last on the ground

Speaker 325:16

You in mid-air

Speaker 325:21

Send in the cloud.

Speaker 325:28

Isn't

Speaker 325:30

Great.

Presenter25:33

Cleo Lane singing Send in the Clowns from A Little Night Music. Now, recent events, Frankie. At the moment, you're in Viennese opera. Would you believe? In it, but not of it. Yes, well, people said to me, Oh, you're in opera, you know, which is, of course, I mean, the opera I mean, deflated mouse, of course, isn't exactly a, you know, terribly sort of, what is the word, difficult to follow. It's some lovely tunes in it, it's very tuneful music. I've always liked it anyway. I like Viennese music. I love Viennese music. I've always liked Viennese operetta. And this part, as you know, is a part which doesn't sing in it at all. Frosch. Part of a drunken jailer. You may think I'm typecast. But yes, Frosch. And it comes in the last act only. There's not very much of Frosch written down, is there? You've got to put a bit. I've had a little. Well.

Frankie Howerd26:01

I like Viennese music as well.

Frankie Howerd26:18

There's no

Frankie Howerd26:22

I've had to put a bit of ended.

Presenter26:25

I put a little in, yeah. I thought you might. Yes, I put a bit in. Yes. But to the astonishment of the cast till they got used to it. The Eye Lopper singers would be terribly sort of different, but they aren't just they're just as down to earth as we are. We're all in the canteen eating eggs and chips during the rehearsals. And Frog slightly different every night?

Frankie Howerd26:33

Yeah, I

Presenter26:43

Not very much. Not too much. I'll tell you why. It would throw the other members of the company if you started to add lib and things like that. But I enjoy doing it very much. I can see that because you've chosen a disc from it. Yes, I that's not the reason I chose it actually. I was going to choose a Viennese opera piece anyway, operetta. But this is a piece I I've liked. And there again, I haven't gone for the necessarily the big pop stuff, but it still is, I think, popular enough. I mean, well known enough. It's the I don't know how you call it. Brother Mine. It's in the second act. Brother Mein and Sister Meiner. Yes, that's right. It's a lovely waltz. I like waltzes.

Frankie Howerd26:51

Yeah.

Frankie Howerd26:54

Yes.

Frankie Howerd27:17

It's in the second act.

Presenter28:23

Brother Main and Sister Main from the second act of Johann Strauss's Die Fledermaus, Herbert von Karian conducting the cast, of course, and the Vienna State Opera Chorus and the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra.

Presenter28:36

Frankie, how well could you look after yourself on a desert island? A are you a practical man? Couldn't you build a shelter? No, I'm not very practical at all. It might be a good idea if I learned to be practical, as a matter of fact, because it's, you know, I might have to cope and do things I otherwise wouldn't bother. What about food? Done any fishing? Well, I must tell you, I I've never been a fisherman until I went to Australia.

Frankie Howerd28:40

Good morning.

Frankie Howerd28:49

Otherwise

Frankie Howerd28:51

Those are the

Presenter28:58

And I went on the Barrier Reef, which is fabulous. And they said, Will you go out fishing one day? And I thought, I don't know if I'd but I quite quite enjoyed it. And those big fish, you know, you pull and they did what are they called, sailfish, and all those enormous fish in the coral waters. And there were a few sharks around too, might I say. But I might say we all thought that this bag came and got him in. And they off they went. But I liked it and sat down in beautiful blue water and a little drop of rum, I remember, and Coke. Oh, yes. The more rum I drank, the more I enjoyed it, strangely enough, you wouldn't believe that, would you? Would you try to escape?

Frankie Howerd29:16

Yeah.

Presenter29:34

Yes, yes, eventually, yes. Yes, that'd be nice for two, three weeks, but not for ever.

Frankie Howerd29:35

Yes.

Presenter29:39

Oh, no, I wouldn't no, I wouldn't have lived. No, no. I certainly I'd try to escape. Right. Yes, definitely. You've got one more record. What's your last one? When we were very little I was a very little boy, four, five, six the school I went to, the elementary school in London, the Gordon School of Eltham,

Presenter29:55

We we used to have in those days what was called Empire Day, which is now gone a long time ago.

Presenter30:01

and all the little children had to sing.

Presenter30:04

You see, like a service guided by the headmaster, and we invited all the parents were invited, and they all sat round the quadrangle or the playground while we were all in our best suits and we sang. A lot of union jacks. Well, the little union jacks. Well, there weren't many actually, because it wasn't a rich school at all. But all the parents came to look at the children. I stood there looking for my mother at the side there, thinking, and I can remember to this day standing there singing this with the children, feeling very proud to be singing among a lot of children. And that was my first sort of appearance, so to speak. It was in a chorus, children's chorus, long time ago. I've never forgotten it. It's Paris Jerusalem.

Speaker 330:54

And did those film ancient time walk upon England's mountains free?

Presenter31:01

Woke up on England's love.

Speaker 331:08

Most holy Lamb of God and in that bless and hast just sing.

Speaker 331:20

And in the comments divide, Shine for the morning Hill.

Speaker 331:34

I was generous alone.

Presenter31:34

Was it all?

Presenter31:42

There is setting of Jerusalem, sung by the Coventry Cathedral Boys' Choir. If you could take only one disc out of the eight you've chosen, which would it be? I honestly don't know. I'm almost going to to say I'm not going to answer the question, because I honestly don't know, but I suppose.

Presenter31:59

If you held a pistol to my head, which I trust you're not going to do, I might plump for the last record, because it is children Jerusalem, and children are hope for the future.

Presenter32:12

And one luxury to take to the island, William, nothing of any practical use. Something you'd like to have? Well, now, that would be an ornament, would it? Ornamental or yes? For instance, if I have to say to you that after my mother had died, a lot of things were left, was a little cross which was given to me. Could I take that? Of course you could. That's what I would take. A little cross which I've got.

Frankie Howerd32:20

Wanna make

Presenter32:32

Yes. And one book. You've got the Bible and Shakespeare already on the island. What's the one that you want? Well, there we go. I've heard the programme many times, of course. And I think I would take a book, not so much just to read, but so I could act. And so I've decided on David Copperfield, because there's a lot of good parts there. And you see, if I was on Desert Island alone, I hoped to get back into show business when I got off the island, I want to keep my voice in trim. See, so I've danced in knees up Mother Brown, so I want some voices so I can say Mr. McCaubber or hello and on the little Dickens voices and keep the voice going so I can act all the parts out. A splendid idea. You can come back and knock the eye of the Royal Shakespeare Company with their Nicholas Nickel. Or you can put on your David Copperfield. All the parts myself, of course. Much cheaper. Much cheaper for them, yes. And thank you, Frankie Hard, for letting us hear your Desert Island disc. Thank you very much. Most happy. Goodbye, everyone.

Frankie Howerd32:36

Beyond the island.

Frankie Howerd32:37

Well I

Frankie Howerd33:11

Yeah.

Frankie Howerd33:12

Who

Frankie Howerd33:19

Yeah.

Speaker 433:31

You've been listening to a podcast from the Desert Island Discs archive. For more podcasts, please visit bbc.co.uk slash radio four.