Kate Winslet

Presenter0:00

Hello, I'm Lauren Laverne and this is the Desert Island Discs podcast from BBC Radio 4. Every week I ask my guests to choose the eight tracks, book and luxury, that they'd want to take with them if they were cast away to a desert island. For rights reasons, the music's shorter than on the original broadcast, but you can find a version with longer music tracks on BBC Sounds. Listeners will also get access to episodes 28 days earlier than everyone else. I hope you enjoy listening.

Presenter0:47

My castaway this week is the actor Kate Winslet. Who can forget the image of her on the prow of the Titanic alongside her co-star Leonardo DiCaprio in her breakthrough role as Rose in the James Cameron blockbuster? She made her film debut at 17 as a teenage killer in Heavenly Creatures, and today she's arguably the preeminent British actress of her generation. Her creative palette is a veritable rainbow. She's played parts in comedies like The Holiday, offbeat hits including The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, period pieces like Anne Lee's Sense and Sensibility, and her own production Lee, which recounts the wartime experiences of the photographer Lee Miller. Another of her productions, the HBO series Mayor of East Town, won her an Emmy, the second in her awards collection, along with her Oscar, numerous BAFTAs, Golden Globes, a Grammy, a CBE, and her own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. She follows all of this this Christmas with her directorial debut. Not bad for a kid from Reading who started out dancing in a Sugarpuffs commercial. She says, I can't just learn my lines and do it, but perhaps that's because I don't want to act. I want to be. And I do think there's a difference. Kate Winslet, welcome to Desert Islandists. Oh my God, you're going to make me cry already. That was the most insane introduction, Lawrence. I didn't mean to do any of it. I think that's the thing. I didn't sort of.

Kate Winslet2:09

That's the thing.

Presenter2:11

I didn't sort of set about seeking fame. I just wanted to get a job. Yeah.

Presenter2:16

Well, I mean, congratulations, you did that. Still employed after all these years. After all these years. Still working. Oh, my God. So let's start then with that difference between being your characters and just playing them. What is the difference? Is it a feeling? Is it in your approach, in your performance?

Speaker 42:20

After all these years.

Presenter2:35

It's almost how I feel like I taught myself to act.

Speaker 42:38

Mm.

Presenter2:38

And I remember when I was little, I really distinctly remember actually being in the kitchen when I was five and I don't know what I was doing, probably the washing up or something or other. It might have even been tap dancing because there was a tiled floor and it made a really nice noise. But I remember my mum was yelling at me to stop tap dancing because it was going to annoy the neighbours and shouting upstairs to my sister to come down because she was late for something or other. And my brother would have been a baby. And I just remember that thinking the hustle and bustle of this life. If somebody had a video camera on all of us, it would sort of seem like acting because that's what people do on television.

Presenter3:18

They just are people. So maybe there's no such thing as acting. Maybe it's just being. And I really remember thinking that when I was five. You know, I often struggled to talk about, I guess, the actor's process and what it means to me and what I actually do and coming out the other side because I'm aware of it sounding a bit self-indulgent. But the reality is, when you're an actor, by the very nature of what you do, you are indulging in the human condition that is.

Presenter3:45

what we thrive on. And that's what we love as audiences. That's what we want to connect with, isn't it? Yeah, I I hope so. That's all that matters to me is that audiences connect with what I do, the characters I play, the stories I tell, because I care very much about people

Kate Winslet3:49

Uh

Speaker 43:49

Uh

Kate Winslet3:49

BAP

Speaker 43:49

Yeah.

Kate Winslet3:49

Yeah.

Presenter4:01

I think feeling moved, feeling heard, feeling seen.

Presenter4:05

And so I guess maybe that's part of why I was so drawn to Goodbye June, because it just reminded me of so many of the people that I have known and grew up around and that rhythm of family life. And it must have felt a familiar shape, the family. This is your directorial debut starring Helen Mirren, Timothy Spall, Tony Collette, Andrea Risbra, you, Johnny Flynn. Fantastic cast. What was it like, you know, acting and directing on the same project at the same time?

Kate Winslet4:17

And it must be.

Presenter4:33

It was proper end-to-end experience, and I loved it. I just loved it.

Presenter4:39

But in the edit I had to get very good at watching myself.

Presenter4:42

And I there were moments when I would say to Lucia, my wonderful editor Lucia Zucchetti, I would say to her, Can we just please not go don't don well, let's not cut to me on that bit because I'm making a really stupid face.

Presenter4:55

But I had to just I had to just let it all go. But it's it's it's a very weird experience watching yourself because we don't do films so that we can watch ourselves in them. We do films so that other people can see them.

Presenter5:07

So let's get started with your first choice today, disc number one, Kate Winsley. What's it going to be and why are you taking it with you to the island?

Presenter5:14

It's Georgia on my mind.

Presenter5:16

And as my dad has gotten older, he's been in various different bands, and that's very much his piece that he leans on, that he loves to sing. And in Goodbye June, that was written by my son Joe, my twenty one year old son,

Presenter5:31

He has included this song as a tribute to my dad, who's still very well alive and kicking. And we were in Vancouver a few years ago, and there's a wonderful doughnut shop in a community where we've spent some time. And every Thursday night, the son of the owners, he puts on a jazz band, just like anyone can jump up, bring their instrument, and play along. It's a bit of a jam session. And my dad...

Presenter6:00

This was very soon after my mum died actually, and he just got up and sang it in a doughnut shop.

Presenter6:05

and brought the house down. People were crying and clapping and cheering and there was an encore and

Presenter6:12

That's the magic of my dad. He's God, he's so inspiring. He really is.

Presenter6:18

Play the song, otherwise I'll cry.

Speaker 46:31

Georgia

Speaker 46:33

Oh, Georgia.

Speaker 46:38

The whole day through

Speaker 46:42

An old sweet song keeps lovely Georgia on my mind

Presenter6:50

Georgia On My Mind, sung by Roger Winslett with Sophy Breckinridge on piano.

Presenter6:56

Kate Winslet, you were born in Reading in 1975, the second of four children. So we've talked about your dad a bit, but your mum Sally sounds like a complete trooper too, and I think she demonstrated this on the day you were born. What's the story? What happened?

Presenter7:11

Oh my god, my mum was she was an absolutely formidable woman and she'd made as she always did. Every Sunday she would make a Sunday roast and there would be family and neighbours and friends and whoever was around would come. And there she was sort of thinking she was having contractions with me, her second child, serving up the meal and she turned to my dad and said, Oh Roger, I think the baby might be coming.

Presenter7:37

She put the crumble in the oven, walked round the corner to the hospital, had me. My dad says I shot out like a rocket.

Presenter7:45

Went home and served the crumble.

Presenter7:48

And that really does sum up my mum. She was an incredibly capable woman. She was capable of loving not only her own children, but everyone else's as well. She was a child's nanny.

Kate Winslet7:59

Uh

Presenter8:01

when we were younger and she had been matron of Reading Blue Coats Boys School when she was much much younger in her late teens early twenties and became an au pair and she just always loved kids. She must have made you feel very safe and very loved as a kid. She did. I mean that's something my parents were both absolutely brilliant at because we grew up in a tiny tiny terraced house in the Oxford Road on the Oxford Road in Reading and we really didn't have much and I you know I do remember moments when my mum would be you know crying into her open purse realizing that quite honestly there just wasn't enough money in there to buy a fresh loaf of bread and yet my mum and dad were very positive people they always looked on the bright side and that sense of togetherness you know always making sure

Presenter8:50

That we were a family. And that gave us all a sense of grounding, for sure. And what about your dad, Roger? Tell me more about him. He was an actor. What sort of roles did he play?

Presenter9:00

He uh so when we were growing up he was he did mostly theater. You know, that's the thing is that a lot of the actors in my family never actually made much money from it. And there were quite a few, weren't they? Yeah, there were. There were a lot of actors, you know. I mean, uh my maternal grandparents

Kate Winslet9:05

Yeah.

Kate Winslet9:09

And there were quite a few, weren't they?

Presenter9:16

were both actors. My grandmother, Linda Bridges, she actually went to Italia Conti and was in the same year as Noel Coward. And my grandfather, who I never met, he died when my mum was quite young, but he was also an actor. But at the same time, he was a dentist. So my dad was always doing, you know, just a lot of small parts in theatre, some leading roles. What did you learn from your dad about the job, about being an actor?

Kate Winslet9:39

What did you

Presenter9:43

Well he was very nervous of any of us going into acting.

Presenter9:47

And I remember my mum always saying, Well, you've got to have another string to your bow. And I'd think, oh my God, I don't even know what that means. I was so convinced that that was what I wanted to do. But there must have been something creatively freeing for you in having parents who took that idea of being an actor and that being a job seriously, you know, seriously enough to consider it. They weren't just like, forget it. They were like, okay, well, let's be practical. You've got to have another string to your bow or you've got to accept that it's going to be something. Yeah, they were engaged with it. Yeah, they were engaged with it. And it wasn't just me. You know, my older sister Anna was also wanting to act. We did a lot of amateur theatre. When I say amateur theatre, we would perform at the Hexagon in Reading, a fantastic venue that still exists, most beautiful, almost brutalist architecture building. It's an extraordinary place, actually. And I first went on stage when I was 11 years old in that theatre. But after my sister Anna had gone on stage at 11 years old, playing Annie in a production of Annie, with me as a little eight-year-old sitting there thinking, God, maybe I could do that too. So it was just, it was a part of our lives. And it's what our parents were able to give to us that was putting us immediately into a community. And I loved it. You play dress up, you put clothes on, you do voices, and you pretend. Flipping, brilliant job.

Speaker 410:13

Yeah, so

Kate Winslet10:14

They merged with it.

Kate Winslet10:41

Yeah.

Presenter11:01

Kate, it's time for your next piece of music, your second choice today. Disc number two. What have you got for us? Okay, so we had a record player. It was a crappy one. And we had two records when I was growing up. I seem to remember that one of them might have even been Milly Vanilli.

Presenter11:17

But the other one was by Brian and Michael and it's Matchstock Men and Matchstock Cats and Dogs. And I've chosen it because we would dance and dance and dance on the threadbare, not very nice brown carpet of our little rental house. And we would just leap and dance and sing along when the children start singing. And somehow hearing children sing on a record gave us permission to sing.

Speaker 411:45

They said he just paints cats and dogs And matched up men in boots and clogs And Lowry said that's just the way they'll stay

Speaker 411:57

Annie painted matched up, men of matched on cats and dogs

Speaker 412:03

He painted kids on the corner of the street of the sparking clock.

Speaker 412:10

Now he takes his brush and he waits.

Presenter12:14

Brian and Michael, Matchstalkmen and Matchstalk cats and dogs. Kate Winslet, tell me more about growing up in Reading then. If we dropped by to visit you, what would we have found? It was a happy household. Lots of sort of dressing up and playing. I remember our dress-up box was a very, very large, really incredible red tub with a lid. I've no idea where my parents got it from. But it was a good, chaotic, happy... balanced family home it really was. You know, we never wanted for anything. We never had friends over. That was one thing I do remember feeling was different about us was that we didn't have the space and also my mum was very house proud and even though our house was clean

Kate Winslet12:43

Home it

Speaker 412:57

Two.

Kate Winslet12:57

Uh

Presenter13:00

And our kitchen was tiny but perfectly well functioning. She was very proud of her checkered red and white curtains and the red walls. But I think she did feel it wasn't good enough. She definitely felt not ashamed, but I think she wanted more for us really. You know, we did things that made us happy and were specific to us, lots of playing outside. We had a pet rabbit in the garden. But other kids had, you know, they had computers and or early computers certainly and their dads had BMWs and

Speaker 413:17

Yeah.

Kate Winslet13:29

Uh

Speaker 413:29

The suddenly

Presenter13:31

We had a secondhand orange Allegro that was eventually stolen for scrap. And so I think we did feel we did feel a little bit different in some ways, yeah.

Speaker 413:31

Right.

Speaker 413:41

Yeah.

Presenter13:43

When you were about eleven, your dad had a terrible accident. So he was he was on a another job, not an acting job, uh, you know, another job between jobs, as it were. Yeah. What actually happened?

Kate Winslet13:49

But you know what?

Presenter13:54

He lost his foot.

Presenter13:56

in a boating accident, which miraculously was put back on. Extraordinary. Extraordinary story. Extraordinary man. Miracle he's alive. And ever since then he's just done whatever he could to kind of keep going. Just emotionally, I think, you know, it's a lot.

Kate Winslet14:09

You know

Presenter14:10

Suddenly having your life change completely from that point on. So he's but he's a life force, you know, he's a good one. But such a massive challenge and so difficult for the family. I mean, that must have been financially incredibly difficult for mum and dad. It was absolutely crippling. And my brother was only five at the time. Beth was eight, I was eleven, Anna was 14.

Kate Winslet14:12

Ink.

Kate Winslet14:15

But so

Kate Winslet14:23

It was cropped.

Presenter14:30

We were helped and supported at the time by a fantastic charity that still exists called the Actors' Charitable Trust. And they were a proper lifeline. The kindness of others, we really had that extended to us as well by many, many great family friends of my parents. They were wonderful. So, yeah, life did change a lot. And I think it definitely gave me a sense of needing to sort of fend for myself a bit. Yeah. So, independence.

Kate Winslet14:41

We r

Kate Winslet14:54

Do it.

Presenter14:57

A lot of independence, a lot of

Presenter14:59

Determination, ambition, but quiet. So quietly determined, quietly ambitious. And purposeful then, so a sense of purpose. So it was around this time that you started going to classes at a youth theatre company in Reading, the Starmaker Company. Yes. Were you already set on an acting career at that point? Yeah.

Kate Winslet15:06

And purposeful

Kate Winslet15:07

Yeah, center per

Kate Winslet15:09

Yeah.

Kate Winslet15:16

Yeah.

Kate Winslet15:17

Yes.

Presenter15:22

And I'd seen black and white photos of my grandparents performing on stage and often my grandmother was wearing sort of crinolines and and I just thought, Yeah, I want to do that. I want to do that thing and I never got the main parts. I was always playing the supporting roles or the sort of showy offy ones. And I didn't care about that. I didn't aspire to play leading roles really ever. But also because I was a little bit stocky, when I did start taking it much more seriously and got a child agent, I really remember vividly.

Presenter15:51

A drama teacher, who many people have wrongly assumed was a man, it was actually a woman, and she said to me, Well, darling,

Presenter15:59

You'll have a career if you're happy to settle for the fat girl parts.

Presenter16:03

Look at me now

Kate Winslet16:04

Ow.

Presenter16:06

Um, that wasn't very nice, was it? There's a lot there that we might need to dig into. I think first we should uh have some more music though, Cait Wynns. Let's have your third disc today. What's it going to be?

Kate Winslet16:11

And there's

Presenter16:19

All my children were like, oh, Mama, you have to have Kiss from a Rose by Seal. You just have to. Whenever it's on, you just lose your mind, and we don't know what world you go to. But so I guess that single must have been released around the time I learned to drive, which would have been 92, 93. I had just started living in London and.

Presenter16:39

Once I'd passed my test by the skin of my teeth, I would drive myself to Sainsbury's. I lived in N7 and I would drive myself to Sainsbury's to do my weekly shop. And every single time I would get in the car, I would think, okay, don't stall, don't break down, don't pull the choke out too far so that you flood the engine. Just don't crash, don't put the windows down in case somebody shouts at you. And I was an absolutely terrified young driver. And I would put this song on. and I wouldn't be scared to put the windows down and I would just blast it and I would think, doesn't matter if I stall, it doesn't matter if I flood the engine, it doesn't matter if people shout at me, I don't care. I would just play this song and it wouldn't bloody matter.

Speaker 417:21

But did you know that when it snows My eyes become alive And the light that you shine can't be seen?

Presenter17:27

Lai.

Speaker 417:32

Baby, I can play to a kiss from a rose on the green. Ooh, the more I get a new stranger, it feels here.

Speaker 417:45

And now that your rose is in bloom

Speaker 417:49

A light hits the gloom on the green

Presenter17:58

Seal and kiss from a rose, and I can confirm that Kate Winslet was out of her seat for that one, singing along, loving every single moment. Oh, it's just fantastic.

Kate Winslet18:06

Bah

Presenter18:08

All right, Kate, so let's talk about theatre school. You started at Red Roofs Theatre School in Maidenhead when you were 11. Now, you were beginning to get bits and pieces of work into your early teens. What kind of things were you doing? Sugar puffs commercials, voiceovers. It was on a term-by-term basis, and I knew that my time at that school was always potentially going to end at the end of each term because we just didn't know if we could ever pay for it. So, was there pressure to get work then? I mean, you must have known that you were helping to pay for it. Oh, yeah, and I remember my mum saying to me, you've got to get more voiceovers. You've just got to, darling, because I'm sorry, but next time we just, you won't be able to go. Luckily, I was really, really good at accents and foreign voices. So, I was regularly called upon by one particular company who would do dubbing. And so, yeah, I got lucky and I did regularly get work doing voiceovers. And that would be 60 quid or 65 quid a day, which was a lot of money when you were 11. And that would go straight into the school fees pot. What about the social side of school? How did that go? How did you fare? Because it's a very competitive environment, I would imagine.

Kate Winslet18:37

No yeah.

Presenter19:14

Well, now that we're on a roll, it was shit, you know, it was really shit, I have to say.

Presenter19:20

Look, you lot, who were in my year at school, you were bloody horrible to me, and you should be ashamed of yourselves. I had a lot of kids tease me at primary school. They would call me blubber. I wasn't even overweight. I was just a like I had stocky thighs, like literally. And they would lock me in the art cupboard and they say, oh, blubber's blubbing in the art cupboard, things like that. And then I went to secondary school and I've always had... A real ability to communicate very freely and easily with grown-ups. So I had great relationships with my teachers. Then I was called a creep. And then I got a TV series when I was 15 called Dark Season, which was written by the brilliant Russell T. Davis. Yes. And. Well then that was that was really it. They then they hated me then, because I was off school. I was actually off school for about nine weeks with a tutor as a child actor on set. And I remember going back to school and they'd pushed my desk into a corner and moved all of their desks onto the other side of the room.

Presenter20:15

Just jealousy.

Presenter20:16

So you l you know, I I I learned to have a pretty thick skin.

Presenter20:20

Fairly early on, to be honest.

Presenter20:23

Did you internalize any of that? I mean, it's so difficult to be a teenage girl anyway, isn't it? But particularly to go through.

Presenter20:30

Bullying related to your appearance about that age, it can be catastrophic for young girls, can't it? Yeah. I definitely later on after that developed issues around my body for sure.

Kate Winslet20:35

Yeah.

Presenter20:40

But at the time that it was happening, I just threw myself into my theatre company and my creative world outside of school so that the school mean people.

Presenter20:50

became as insignificant as I could possibly make them. I wouldn't let them spoil a trajectory that I was determined I was on. And at least I had a lovely family to go home to. To retreat to. Yeah, to really retreat to. And my

Kate Winslet21:01

Yeah.

Presenter21:04

creative world and acting and you know I'd stick on match talk men and match stick cats and dogs and we'd sing at the top of our lungs and I'd be fitter for things and I could face another day. But you you said you know you did develop some issues. Were you dieting? Were you restricting yourself? On and off of diets from the age of fifteen to nineteen and eventually when I was nineteen I was barely eating.

Kate Winslet21:18

On and off.

Presenter21:25

Barely eating. It was really it was really unhealthy. I mean, I look back on that time and I just it's the only thing in my life I really regret. Because, you know, long term not eating properly.

Presenter21:36

Or eating and panicking about what you'd eaten. Or waking up in the morning and the first thing I'd think about is, oh my god, do I look fatter? Do I look fatter? That went on for a a really long time.

Presenter21:46

I think it's time for some more music, Kate. What's next, and why are you taking it with you to day?

Presenter21:52

So this is Summer Time by Ella Fitzgerald.

Presenter21:55

And

Presenter21:57

I had a boyfriend when I started living in London, who was a very, very special person. He was he was just a sparkly, bright eyed, wonderful guy. He was an actor. He became a writer much later on, and unbelievably, he died of cancer.

Presenter22:16

And his name was Stephen Tredri, and uh he was just

Presenter22:21

a really special person, and I felt very lucky to have had that relationship in my life because he really cared about me and he really supported me as a young person and showed me so much.

Presenter22:33

Adventure, actually.

Presenter22:36

And I sung this at his funeral.

Speaker 422:39

Summertime

Speaker 422:45

And the living is easy.

Speaker 422:53

Fish your jump leaf

Speaker 423:01

And the curtain is high.

Speaker 423:08

Your dead is real.

Speaker 423:16

And your ma is good looking

Speaker 423:25

So much little baby

Presenter23:32

Play

Speaker 423:32

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Presenter23:34

Summertime Ella FitzGerald.

Presenter23:37

Kate Winslet, you left school when you were sixteen and around that time you auditioned for your first film Heavenly Creatures directed by Peter Jackson. Did you think you'd get the part?

Presenter23:47

Nope.

Presenter23:48

Of course I didn't.

Presenter23:50

Oh, it was Kate from Reading. I didn't get sent film scripts.

Presenter23:54

And how did you find out that you had got the part? Oh my god. Well, I was working in a deli in Reading.

Presenter23:59

And it was managed and run by a great family friend named Chris Rogers, and the phone rang, and there was something about the way that phone rang I was like, Oh, my God Is it for me?

Presenter24:10

And then Chris sort of stuck his head out the door and stared across at me behind my little glass sandwich thing where I was making the sandwiches, and he said, Kate, phone for you and he sort of smiled at me.

Presenter24:23

And I ran to the office, and it was my child agent. She just said, Who's a clever girl, then?

Presenter24:29

Kate from Reading got the leading part in a film and it was just incredible, my God. And I remember just running home in the rain, not getting the bus at all, and going and telling everybody. And we just none of us could believe it. None of us could believe it. And it really was the beginning of everything. Yes, everything changed after that. Everything changed. You spent four months filming in New Zealand? I did. How was it? What was it like being on an actual film set?

Kate Winslet24:51

Yeah.

Presenter25:01

It was just magic. It was just absolute magic. The people were so wonderful and they were so kind and of course I was terrified. But I loved every second of it. I loved the discipline of it, the structure, the getting up early, the going to work. I'd fall asleep every night excited about the next day and I still do. I still do that now when I'm filming something. I go to sleep feeling like I've got a secret.

Kate Winslet25:20

I see.

Presenter25:24

And I've got to wake up in the middle of the night to go to work and make a project with my friends that might be something interesting and I just get that buzz still today. I get exactly the same.

Presenter25:34

So your next film, Kay, after Heavenly Creatures, was Sense and Sensibility. Emma Thompson had adapted the screenplay Ang Lee was directing. Now you'd been asked to read for the part of Lucy Steele, but that quiet determination that you were talking about kicked in again and you hatched a cunning plan. Well, I have had.

Speaker 425:51

Well

Kate Winslet25:51

Oh.

Presenter25:53

Two agents throughout my entire career. So, my wonderful, wonderful, darling British agent, Dallas Smith. I've been with him since I was 15 years old, and I am still with him to this day. And he, along with a brilliant Irish woman named Hilda Queely, who is my American agent, they just had plans for me. And I'd gone to LA, I think, to do some publicity for Heavenly Creatures. And I would have been 18 at the time that the film actually came out and was meeting this crazy Irish woman who had taken me on.

Presenter26:29

And she said, Now, I want you to listen. And this is her sort of Irish-American twang that she has. I want you to listen to me, Kate. There's a script that's come in. It's written by Emma Thompson. And she is going to be playing the Eleanor Dashwood role. And there's a role of Marianne the Sister, which you're too young for the part. But they want to meet you for the character of Lucy Steele. Now.

Kate Winslet26:38

T

Presenter26:50

I think between you and I, we should cook up a plan where you're going to go in and you're going to pretend that you didn't get the memo and you're going to prepare two or three select scenes to read for the Mary Ann part. And you're just going to go in there and you're just going to smash it. And I was like, okay, brilliant, great. Okay, excellent. So that's what I did. I selected three scenes as though I had been told to learn them. And I was ready and I went in and the producer, Lindsay Duran, turned to me said so nice to meet you. Thank you so much for coming. So we'd like to read scene. It's the scene when Lucy and Eleanor have the conversation about Edward and I said

Presenter27:28

Oh, the l Lucy, I'm so sorry.

Presenter27:32

Oh, I'm so sorry, I think I got I think I got the wrong information. I prepared for the Marianne

Presenter27:36

Roll. I'm really ha I could go outside and learn the lines for the other scene. Oh no, that's that's okay. Really embarrassed, didn't know what to do. Let me read for the Marianne part. Yes! Get in on it! So I.

Kate Winslet27:43

What to do?

Presenter27:48

So I read for the role and then back in London I was asked to go and meet Ang Li and Emma was there and that's the first time I met Emma and I was nineteen and I remember I was wearing a blue top.

Presenter28:00

And uh we sat together on chairs in front of a camera'cause they were filming the audition, and she said to me, Do you know what? I've got a blue T shirt on underneath my jumper. It might be good if I had to look make our skin colour look similar. And I thought, Oh my God, you're so lovely She really wanted me to get this part.

Presenter28:17

Yeah, I was I was pretty bloody scared. But Emma was such a source of strength and warmth and inspiration for me, and her kindness with the other actors and with the crew.

Presenter28:31

It was the first time I'd really experienced what it's like to be a leader in that capacity.

Kate Winslet28:34

And that's

Presenter28:36

And I learnt a huge, huge amount from her. A huge amount from her.

Presenter28:41

Kate, it's time to go to the music. It's your fifth choice today. Tell us what's next. Well, this one really does make me cry. And when I was preparing for Merovistown, I was in Philadelphia, staring down the barrel of a rather terrifying gun, thinking, How the hell am I supposed to pull this off? I just can't do it.

Presenter29:00

And because I had to really build

Presenter29:03

for myself, this interior world of a woman who was processing so much terrible grief and shame at the loss of her son by suicide. I had to reach for anything I could that put me straight into that emotional place when I needed to be in it. And Navole

Presenter29:23

By Ludovico Enaldi.

Presenter29:26

is for me.

Presenter29:29

So triggering for some reason. The sparseness of it, the poetry of it, the way it's not just an instrument, but it's a means of pushing emotion.

Presenter29:42

that can transport a person truly to another place.

Presenter29:46

And so this song I used consistently throughout the shooting of Mare, to the point that now when I hear it I just absolutely lose it. It's an utterly extraordinary work.

Presenter31:03

Ludovico Ionaudi and Nuvole Bianche.

Presenter31:08

A hugely powerful piece for you Kate Winslip.

Presenter31:12

I didn't read a single review of Mare. I don't read reviews at all. It's part of how I survive, I think. But people would actually come up to me in the street and just cry. I remember a parking attendant. I'd park my car in Petersfield to go to the opticians. And this female parking attendant came up to me and she said, It is you, isn't it? And I said, I think it might be.

Presenter31:33

And she just started to cry.

Presenter31:35

She said Mayor and that was all she said and then she told me that I was on a double yellow line.

Presenter31:42

Well, you didn't have your glasses on, Kate. Open shotcase, come on. Didn't have my glasses on. Didn't have my glasses on. Silly me.

Kate Winslet31:46

I didn't have my glasses off.

Presenter31:51

Kate, I want to ask you about another part that has resonated with viewers down the years. This is Rose in Titanic. Obviously, a huge moment for you. 1997, it was your breakthrough role. It was at that point the most successful film ever made. $2 billion at the box office, 11 Academy Awards. This is like global stardom. It's a completely different level. What did it mean for your day-to-day life? I didn't want to be famous, Lauren. I really didn't. I know it sounds so daft, but it's not necessarily an easy path to walk and to stay sane and hang on to your sense of self and who you are. And my whole world was totally turned upside down through being in Titanic. I have, of course, so much to be grateful for. And the experience of making the film was incredible.

Presenter32:42

But I wasn't ready.

Presenter32:45

for that world. I still mentally actually wasn't particularly in good shape around my body. Yeah, you were only w because what age were you then? I was twenty and I turned twenty one on that shoot. I wasn't in a particularly good place around my physical self at all. Jim Cameron actually did something really fantastic, which I realize in hindsight Was something I'm so grateful for. He said to me, You need to be really strong, Kate. You know, I know you have stamina, but a level of physical fitness will really help you to take on this big seven-month shoot. And they got me a personal trainer. And I've never had a personal trainer since. I have to add that right away. And I did think, Well, this is very Hollywood. Oh my god, okay. But I actually loved the discipline of it. I had to get up at five and/or even earlier. You know, if we were on a weird schedule, I'd be up at three and then I'd be working out by five in the morning. And I would think, okay, this is just the way it is on this film. And then I'm just going to go back to my normal life afterwards, which is precisely what I did do. But having an awareness of my own strength and my physical self, it made me panic less about the food.

Speaker 433:46

Yeah.

Presenter33:47

Um I was still a bit of a mess around that for a while after. So you can imagine, Lauren.

Presenter33:53

How appalling it was when the British media

Presenter33:58

started calling me.

Presenter34:00

Awful, terrible, actually abusive names. Going into shops and asking shopkeepers what I'd bought, going through my bins to look for my shopping receipts to try and figure out what diet I was on or wasn't on. It was an utter disgrace and shame on every single one of them. And thank God they don't do that now. Thank God. Because that...

Presenter34:23

was horrible. I just felt like I couldn't walk down the street without seeing, you know, myself on the cover of The Sun or The Daily Mail or The News of the World.

Presenter34:33

It was horrific. There were people tapping my phone. They were just everywhere. And I was just on my own. I was terrified to go to sleep. I mean, it was it was really you know, and I say this and I would hate people to ever think, Oh, God, stop whinging. But it really was quite scary. How did you deal with it?

Presenter34:53

I had a handful of really wonderful friends.

Presenter34:56

And my neighbours where I lived.

Presenter35:00

were named Giorgio and Plaxi. And Giorgio, later on in his life, now is the great Giorgio Locatelli the chef. They just happened to be my neighbours.

Kate Winslet35:10

The chef

Presenter35:14

Amplaxy.

Presenter35:16

She just looked after me, and she would ring and she'd say, Babe, they're out there again. Listen, George has just made a lovely pasta, and he's come home with half a bottle of red wine. I'm going to pop some on the garden wall, okay?

Presenter35:28

And I would go Thank you and I'd go to the garden wall and there would be a little bowl of steaming pasta and a little glass of red wine, and I had some one looking after me.

Speaker 435:40

Yeah.

Presenter35:40

And it meant the world to know that someone was there.

Presenter35:46

Kate, I think we should go to the music. What's next, and why are you taking it with you to your desert island?

Presenter35:52

We just love Radiohead in our house. But that love began in about 2007, 2008. I don't even know specifically.

Presenter36:00

But that was a time in my life when the kids were young, Joe was maybe three, Mia was six, something like that. And I was married to Sam Mendez and we lived in New York, we lived in Manhattan, and we had a small place in Connecticut. And so at the weekends we would drive out there.

Presenter36:22

But when it was clear that our marriage wasn't going to continue.

Presenter36:26

I started obviously being on my own with the children much more and we would listen to it in the car, just me and the kids, and we would drive out to Connecticut at the weekends. And I just think it gave me a real feeling of, oh yes, I can do this. I can actually do this being on my own thing with my children. And also protection of my children too at that stage because I was being followed by Paparazzi in New York City with my two small kids who wanted to of course know the reason why Sam and I had split up.

Presenter36:55

You know, all those things that people really dig into. And it was a marriage that wasn't meant to be and sadly broke down. And he's a fantastic person. How have you dealt with that kind of intrusion though? I mean, someone following you with your kids in the street asking you why your marriage didn't work out. I mean, how do you even begin to respond to Laurentian? You just keep your mouth closed, you put your head down, Lauren, and you keep walking and you try and put your hands over your children's ears.

Kate Winslet37:12

Just keep your mouth.

Presenter37:19

You lean on your friends, you just keep going. A good meal, a shared conversation, nice cup of coffee, yeah, a bit of radio head and a good poo, you know? Life's all the better for those things, don't you think?

Speaker 437:33

Empress Ocean

Speaker 437:38

By my sing

Speaker 437:50

The truth

Speaker 437:57

Why should I stay here?

Speaker 438:02

Such a great

Presenter38:03

Tune! Love that! Radioheads and weird fishes are Pedgy.

Speaker 438:04

It's so cute.

Presenter38:09

Kate, you've just turned fifty and you've got a very positive approach to aging. You've taken publications to task for digitally altering your image in the past. Why was it important to you to call them out? If we don't, we are just stuffed. And it really bothered me when I realised as a young woman that magazines had the ability to alter an image.

Presenter38:33

I didn't sign up for that. I didn't say you could take my photograph and then do whatever the hell you want with it. Absolutely not And I also realized that nobody else was calling them out on it.

Presenter38:44

And so I did. Not in an aggressive way, but just saying, I don't look like this. My stomach isn't flat like that. My legs are not that long. My boobs are not that big. What? My arms aren't that toned. What the hell? It wasn't right to me. I didn't want any young woman, any young woman, even just one, to look at that image and think, oh my God, I want to look like that. That's not me. Don't want to look like me. Want to look like you. Want to be who you are. And so that's the same message I've always tried to give. And I think that's why.

Presenter39:19

You know, I live my life with intention and integrity, having a face that moves. I have to. That's also how I do my job. You know, I want to play characters who have wrinkles and crow's feet and a face that's changing with age and a body that's moving with the passing decades. That's life. There's so much we still have to unlearn, actually, men and women, about how we speak to women in film and actresses and female directors. There are things that have been said to me as a female director that would never be said to my male counterpart. Just the way someone might phrase something. So they might say things like, um

Presenter39:57

You know, don't forget to be confident, you know, in your choices.

Presenter40:01

And I want to sort of say, don't talk to me about confidence, because if that's one thing I haven't ever lacked, actually, is exactly that.

Presenter40:09

That person wouldn't say that to a man.

Presenter40:12

Don't forget to have your confidence. Shut up and have your own perspective. It makes me sound really aggressive, but it's just a little internal fire that ever so often gets ignited by things that occur. And then I'm able to calmly say to that person, you know, you can there's a different way of phrasing that. You know, it's worth thinking about it.

Kate Winslet40:16

Yeah.

Presenter40:33

Let's go to the music. Your seventh selection today. What are you taking to the island next? So, this is Blue Ridge Mountains by Fleet Foxes.

Presenter40:42

And in about 2010, 2011, I had a really wonderful holiday on a boat with a group of friends. There were about 12 of us in total. And my dearest, dearest friend, Emma, her name is Emma, but we call her Lemon because when Joe was little, one day he said, Eskumi, Lemon. And he called her Lemon instead of Emma, so it's just stuck. And she's been such an enormous part of my life raising my children, and she is their godmother. And she was with us on this particular holiday. And one morning we woke up, and all of a sudden, on the horizon, we started to see dolphins. And we got the boat going and we were on the move. And these dolphins came with us. And there was something so symbolic about, my God, we're on a voyage. And it wasn't just the actual voyage, it was a voyage of life. And Lemon made a little film of this whole holiday, but it heavily featured the day with the dolphins. And this was the piece of music that she put to her little film that she had made on her video recorder. And there are lyrics in it that goes, In the quivering forest, where the shivering dogs rest. We all heard that as in the quivering forest, we'll be swimming with dolphins. Okay, and so even still now, when we hear that song and we listen to it, we sing along, that's what we sing instead. We'll be swimming with dolphins. So this song's really for Lemon. And.

Presenter42:10

She's so loved and special and uh yeah, this is for her.

Speaker 442:30

Uh

Speaker 442:31

We're in Foreign

Speaker 442:35

Where the shimmering of red

Speaker 442:40

I would dance farther.

Speaker 442:45

Building.

Presenter42:46

Fleet Foxes and Blue Ridge Mountains. Oh, it's such an uplifting song. I love it. Swimming with dolphins. So Kate Winsley, you married your husband, Ned, in twenty twelve. The two of you met in very dramatic circumstances.

Speaker 442:49

Oh, it's a

Presenter43:00

Talk me through it.

Presenter43:01

My husband Ned is one of many nieces and nephews of Sir Richard Branson, and I had been invited to go to Necker Island, which is in the British Virgin Islands, with my children. I think Richard had heard that I was on my own.

Presenter43:18

with my kids and maybe I'd like a nice holiday somewhere. And I get on the plane to travel out there and other passengers on the plane start saying hello to me, hello, hi, nice to meet you and I realize it's their annual family week and I had been included.

Presenter43:34

Oh my God, okay bizarre. We arrived there and on the second night of the holiday there was a terrible uh hurricane and the house was struck by lightning and caught fire and we are all very, very lucky to be alive. And Ned, he just came

Presenter43:52

Running out of that house. We all escaped to a different building, but he came running out of that house and into the one that everyone had sort of run to for safety. And he had a head torch on, and bright pink underpants, and an orange, an orange rain jacket. I'm standing up like I'm doing the actions of Ned. Bright orange rain jacket. And sensibly, he'd put on his trainers, which nobody else had done because we just run out of this burning building. Ready for action. With bare feet treading on cactuses and wildlife. And apart from the pink underpants, was it love at first sight or honestly? Instant chemistry.

Kate Winslet44:31

Instant chemistry

Presenter44:32

Uh yeah.

Presenter44:34

I don't think I've ever said this publicly, but the first time I ever saw Ned was arriving at the airport.

Presenter44:40

to get a boat to go to the island. And he was already there. He'd flown in from America and he was waiting for all of his family to greet them. He was excited to see everyone. He'd been away for a while. And those airport sliding doors opened like that. And there was Ned going ray like this with his arms in the air. And I looked at him and I thought, Oh, it's you

Presenter44:59

And I just was like.

Presenter45:01

I felt like I'd taken off.

Presenter45:03

And it was his energy after the fire, coming into this room with his head torch and his pink underpants on, with a big smile on his face, a room full of crying, distressed people, and he went, We're alive! And I just thought.

Presenter45:19

Sign me up.

Presenter45:20

I'm there. That's it. I'll just go wherever you go now.

Presenter45:24

And so you did. You you have a son together. Bear. His middle name is Blaise, I think. After the fire. After the fire. Bear Blaise. I mean, how would you describe family life today?

Presenter45:36

And I'm just laughing because it's great fun.

Presenter45:40

And the rest of my life spent with Ned will just be full.

Presenter45:47

of so much joy and spontaneity.

Presenter45:51

And some days I just can't believe my luck.

Presenter45:54

Kate, this is a very special episode of Desert Island Discs, not just because you are our castaway, which we're thrilled about, but because it is our Christmas episode. So how will you be spending Christmas this year? What are the traditions, Shea Winslet? Well, I have taken to brining my turkey. Oh. Ned is vegan, so I usually make him a mushroom lentil Wellington.

Kate Winslet46:02

Uh

Speaker 446:02

Oh.

Kate Winslet46:02

Uh

Presenter46:14

That actually, I get really irritable about making because it's so finickety and time-consuming, so irritating.

Presenter46:22

But I do it and Ned's grateful. We have just a good old family Christmas, you know, lots of food, being together. My dad'll be around. Lots of playing silly games. Lots of going for long walks. Lots of going to the pub. Brilliant.

Presenter46:39

You mentioned um going for a long walk as part of your Christmas tradition. I know that you are outdoorsy as a person. You love your wild swimming and the natural world. Do you think that'll set you up well for life on the desert island? Do you mind roughing it a bit? Oh, I'd love I love roughing it. And I don't really need luxuries and creature comforts, it's just not my vibe.

Kate Winslet46:47

Yeah.

Presenter46:58

Well, we'll let you take one more track before we send you to the desert island, before you're cast away. Your final choice, Kate Winslet. What's it gonna be? Oh, I'm excited about this one.

Presenter47:08

I'm excited about this one because

Presenter47:11

This is something that Ned and I would have absolutely been listening to as teenagers in different parts of the world before we ever met, and it's a song that we both.

Presenter47:20

Absolutely love. We leap around the room to it. It's pure netty energy. And so it's pump up the jam by technotronic.

Speaker 347:29

Pump the jam, pump it up while your feet are stumping And the jam is pumping Look at half the crowd is jumping Pump it up a little more get the party going on the dance floor See cause that's where the party's at and you find out if you do that

Speaker 347:45

I waited.

Speaker 347:46

A place to stay. Get your booty on the fort tonight. Make my day.

Speaker 347:52

Oh wait

Speaker 347:54

A place to stay.

Presenter47:56

Pomp Up the Jam by Technotronic. Kate Winsler, it's time to send you away to the island. I will give you the Bible, the complete works of Shakespeare, and you can take one other book of your choice. What will it be? So, a big part of our life is being outside, and we do cook a lot outside as well, on beaches, in fields, in forests, up hills. It is just something that we do. And so this book is called Outside by a brilliant chef named Gilmella.

Presenter48:25

And Gill talks about being a child, discovering the outdoors and discovering food.

Presenter48:32

But he references that time as being a time before this time.

Presenter48:37

Talking about the digital age where it is so much harder to.

Presenter48:42

Be still and just appreciate the simple things in life and keeping that sense of balance and perspective. What's important, how to be happy. And for me and for my family, turning to the outside is a way of staying grounded and being happy. So that's my book. And that's the perfect perspective for a desert island as well. I mean, as a castaway, you're going to be outside all the time. So perfect choice. Bring it on. Can't wait. You can also have a luxury item, Kate. What do you fancy? Well, so I'm not very good at luxury items. I'm not really a luxury person. But I did think, well, what is one thing I couldn't live without?

Presenter49:22

And actually, in spite of myself, it's freshly ground coffee. I love coffee. I love the smell of it. I look forward to it. I fall asleep at night being excited about the coffee I'm going to have in the morning. I put cream in my coffee, fresh cream. And the other thing, being resourceful, is that coffee is really great for

Kate Winslet49:37

Fresh cream

Presenter49:42

Exfoliating your face. It's really great for cleaning your hands, getting rid of horrible odors. I'm constantly using old coffee grounds because half the time my hands smell of garlic and onions. So that's my luxury item. You're going to be fresh as a daisy on that desert island.

Kate Winslet49:45

Yes.

Presenter49:55

And finally, which one track of the eight that you've shared with us today, Kate Winslet, would you rush to save from the waves if you had to? It's got to be that beautiful recording of my dad singing Georgia on my mind. It's just a great way to always hear his voice, and I don't think I could ever do without that.

Presenter50:13

Kate Winslet, thank you very much for letting us hear your desert island discs. Thank you so much for letting me share them. Wow.

Presenter50:20

And Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas! We did it! Yeah! We did it!

Presenter50:43

I hope you enjoyed my conversation with Kate. We'll leave her on the island drinking coffee and cream to her heart's content. We've cast away many actors over the years, including Kate Blanchett, Michael Sheen, Danny Dyer, and Kate's good friend, Emma Thompson. The studio manager for today's programme was Sarah Hockley. The assistant producer was Christine Pavlovsky. The executive production coordinator was Susie Roylance. The content editor was Mugabe Turia and the producer was Paula McGinley. Next time my guest will be the writer Jojo Moise. I do hope you'll join us.

Kate Winslet51:19

Hi, Cyndia here. I'm very excited to bring you the return of Child. So we've been on the journey of an embryo all the way to a baby's first birthday. And now we are going to enter the explosive life of the toddler. Because this is the perfect place to unpick the very complicated world of emotions. The emotions that affect us all. So come with us as over eight episodes we fall through the abundant and dizzying world of happiness, descend into the depths of fear and the gendered and dangerous world of anger, and then crawl, wobble and bounce our way through awe, love, anxiety, and surprise. From BBC Radio 4, this is Child, with me, India Rakerson. Listen first on BBC Sounds.