Greg Davies

Presenter0:01

BBC Sounds, Music, Radio Podcasts. Hello, I'm Lauren Laverne, and this is the Desert Island Discs Podcast. Every week, I ask my guests to choose the eight tracks, book, and luxury they'd want to take with them if they were cast away to a desert island. And, for rights reasons, the music is shorter than the original broadcast. I hope you enjoy listening.

Presenter0:44

My castaway this week is the comedian, writer and actor Greg Davis. He's one of the best-loved comics in the country, host of the internationally popular Taskmaster and star and writer of the sitcoms Man Down and the Cleaner. His television breakthrough came in 2008 when he played the head of the sixth form Mr. Gilbert in the teenage sitcom The Inbetweeners. On stage though, he's a man for whom it's all gone wrong. His stand-up shows are stuffed with self-deprecating stories and he positively delights in sharing his private failures and frustrations, whether he's bemoaning a malfunctioning prostate, revealing an X-rated relationship with his childhood teddy bear, or drawing on the years he spent as a depressed drama teacher. Ah yes, the teaching. Thanks to an extended sojourn in education, he found his calling in comedy later than he might have. So he's making the most of it. He says, there's a compulsion that comes from leaving it so long. If you've spent a long time staring at a cake and then you suddenly get the cake, you really want to ram the cake into your face. Greg Davis, welcome to Desert Island Discs.

Greg Davies1:48

Thank you.

Presenter1:49

So Greg, that sense of catching up, is that something that still drives you today? You've got some catching up to do?

Greg Davies1:56

I think I feel I've probably caught up now. Yeah, but it certainly drove m my career.

Greg Davies2:03

I was saying to a friend, I went back to Edinburgh recently for the first time in years and years, just to go to the city. It's the first time I'd really been back since the early days of my career at the Edinburgh Festival. And I just found, I think I've got some sort of post-traumatic stress disorder related to that city. I mean, it's a beautiful city.

Presenter2:22

That sense of burning ambition, having something that you've got to get done there. This is your chance.

Greg Davies2:26

That's your chance. That's it. And it felt like a last chance. But that's as I'm sure we'll get into, that's very much my family's way of doing business, is to catastrophize. But it felt like I'd I'd come to it late. I had to make these years count. I had to land these years.

Presenter2:42

One of the interesting things I always think about stand-up is the level of control that's involved because many people go to a stand-up show and, you know, comics look vulnerable. You know, you're the lone person up there on this big stage, some especially the big stages you play, and it seems like you're bearing your soul, but actually, you know, there's a there's a real kind of sleight of hand going on there because, of course.

Greg Davies2:47

Because many

Speaker 12:52

Person.

Presenter3:04

A comic is in charge of the truths that they tell. They tell the truth selectively. I wonder for you how that works.

Greg Davies3:11

Well, it works exactly like that and it's the thing that I love about the art form really is it's so selective and you can offer exactly what you want to offer of yourself. Sure, you you know, there are vulnerabilities displayed, but it's very selective. I mean I wouldn't I haven't scraped the surface of the things that that worry me, Lauren, on stage.

Presenter3:30

So that wouldn't go in.

Greg Davies3:32

No, I don't think I've dealt with any real existential crisis on stage, but I do feel it's really important that it all comes from a place of honesty. So I don't I never lie. That that's the key, I think, is you miss out what you want to miss out. But I I largely it all comes from a true place.

Presenter3:52

So is there anything that's off limits? What's what you know, where where do the lines come in?

Greg Davies3:56

But yeah, I

Presenter3:57

I would be

Greg Davies3:58

I would be horrified if I said anything to upset anyone I know. In the very British tradition of stand up, I want the target to be me. I've been fairly demonstrative of that in my stand up shows. I I I hope that, you know, largely you see the gun being turned on me.

Greg Davies4:13

Because I can take it.

Presenter4:14

Well, Greg, speaking of carefully made choices, we've got your music to get into today. I know you've agonised over this because you love your music.

Greg Davies4:18

I know you

Greg Davies4:22

I hate this list.

Greg Davies4:24

Because I agonised over it for so long.

Presenter4:27

It's always a good opener. Always good to hear that from the castaway.

Greg Davies4:30

But it's because I chose songs that sort of meant so much to me at certain periods in my life. But with all music, I find something I like and I play it to death. And then I can't listen to it anymore. And there's so many songs on this list that I can't listen to anymore because I've played them to death. I've stood in front of a mirror pretending I'm the singer.

Speaker 14:40

Yeah.

Presenter4:49

Well, I think we better get started then. Disc number one, what are we going to hear?

Greg Davies4:53

I've chosen Madness because there's a real theme in my life, I think, of me being excited when I think that something's for me particularly. I was about 12 when I first heard Madness and I'd been living off a diet of my mum's, you know, mum was into Elvis and ABBA and she was a bit more trendy than my dad was into Marla's symphonies and Sinatra. So we had this strange mix of songs as a kid and then I suddenly heard these

Greg Davies5:22

Lunatics from London and I I remember really clearly thinking, well, this has not been made for my parents. This is music that's been made for me. I'd chosen baggy trousers to represent what madness meant to the twelve year old me, which was some silly men singing silly songs and jumping around in a hat.

Speaker 35:48

Naughty boys in nasty schools and masters breaking all the rules Having fun and playing cool, smashing up the wood buttons All the teachers in the public passing and already rubbed Trying not to think of when the lunchtime bell will ring again Oh what fun we had, but did it really turn out bad? All of the

Speaker 36:06

What has

Speaker 36:08

Uh

Speaker 36:08

We had bad at the time

Presenter6:11

It's into bad joy

Presenter6:13

Madness and baggy trousers. So, Greg Davis, you were born in St Asif in North Wales. Now, that is a fact that I think your parents went to great lengths to make sure of that you were Welsh born.

Greg Davies6:24

Well my dad did, yeah. My dad had um the preposterous notion that I was going to be a a Welsh international rugby player. They were living in Shropshire, yeah, and there was a hospital seven miles down the road. But he drove her 45 miles when she was in Labour in a hugely unreliable 1960s car across the border into St Asif just to make sure I was Welsh.

Presenter6:45

So that you could play for the national.

Greg Davies6:46

So that I could play. Yeah.

Presenter6:48

So your dad was Welsh?

Greg Davies6:49

He was a very proud Welshman, yeah, and uh a rugby obsessive and um man I've disappointed him.

Presenter6:56

Uh

Greg Davies6:57

Do you want to know my whole rugby career?

Presenter6:58

How far did it go? Yeah, of course I did.

Greg Davies7:00

I'll tell you my entire rugby career. When I was about twelve, my dad begged me to go to a rugby club just for a Sunday practice, just to see if I liked it. And it was already established that I was an asthmatic, painfully thin asthmatic weed who couldn't catch a ball. But I went because he was so desperate for me to try. We pulled into the car park of the rugby club. I started crying. He drove me home.

Presenter7:26

Oh.

Greg Davies7:27

And that's the end of my international career.

Presenter7:27

Uh

Presenter7:29

It says a lot that that he didn't make you go in though. He he turned the car around.

Greg Davies7:32

I remember him shaking his head in quite a sweet way and going, we'll go home, love.

Presenter7:38

I love your dad for that. So listen, I know that, you know, your dad was extremely funny and that in your family, that was a very, very important quality.

Greg Davies7:48

Yeah, it was. I feel like I've spent my career doing a bad impression of him. You know, he was a sensationally silly man. And we had such a laugh as a family. We played the hide and seek in the dark and it was my dad's idea. And he would literally turn every light off in the house. So the house was pitch black. And then, you know, as small children, one of us would be forced to go through this.

Greg Davies8:15

A pitch black house. It sounds terrifying. It was absolutely awful.

Presenter8:17

It was absolutely

Greg Davies8:20

And I remember once being so freaked out that I drew an end to the to the game. I I turned the hall light on, which was strictly against the rules, and I shouted, That's it, this is ridiculous, I'm not playing any more.

Presenter8:34

So you were the adult in the

Greg Davies8:35

I was the adult and I must have been about 12 and I went and barricaded myself in my bedroom. I checked that none of the three of them were in my wardrobe and then I barricaded myself in my bedroom and I remember shouting this is ridiculous because they'd been missing for about 40 minutes by then. And I got into bed and I leant over to turn the bedside light off and my dad was lying in the gap between the bed and the wall.

Greg Davies9:03

With this awful expression on his face, like a ghoul. And I scream I don't think I've ever screamed that much. And then everyone came in and laughed at how upset Greg was.

Greg Davies9:16

And God forbid you ever confided in Dad that you were worried about something. He was always so loving and kind and helped you through it. And then a week later he would throw it in back in your face.

Speaker 19:21

Yeah.

Presenter9:21

Same as always.

Presenter9:27

So merciless. So did it ever go too far? Did it ever really hurt you?

Greg Davies9:32

I don't think it I mean it's a challenge because my dad was very good at it, at targeting weaknesses.

Greg Davies9:39

But no, I don't think it ever did hurt me. And I he w he would have been horrified if it had. It came from a place of affection, and it came from knowing each other well, yeah. So no, I I I never felt hurt by it, and I'm sure my sister didn't either.

Greg Davies9:56

I think he was just a. He was just enjoyed taking the Mickey. He was a wind-up artist. And there must have been.

Presenter10:02

And there must have been a big kind of yearning in you to capture his attention.

Greg Davies10:06

Oh my God I mean, it's such a cliche, isn't it? But no doubt about it. No doubt that it was the start of my comedy career when I realized that if I made him laugh I kept his attention.

Presenter10:16

He was with you until 2014, so he got to see your success as a comic.

Greg Davies10:21

Yeah.

Presenter10:21

Yeah.

Greg Davies10:23

I think he felt two things. He told me very clearly how proud he was of me, and I think he was hugely jealous.

Greg Davies10:30

I think he would have loved to have done it.

Presenter10:32

Did you tell me that?

Greg Davies10:33

Now his eyes did.

Greg Davies10:36

And I mean that with great affection. He he was just such an attention seeker and such um a natural performer. He would have loved to have done it.

Presenter10:44

Greg, it's time to go to the music. Your second choice today. What are we going to hear for disc number two?

Greg Davies10:49

My dad and I used to spend

Greg Davies10:52

Hours driving to look at cars that my dad had no intention of buying so that we could just look at cars. But we also used to sing a lot. Sinatra, he would primarily sing in his car. And I've never liked Sinatra's voice. But the song that he used to sing all the time that I did like was Wichita Line Man. So we used to sing it, and I have such vivid memories of singing this song at the top of my voice with him.

Greg Davies11:18

When dad was, and this is very reflective of the man as well, I think, when he was not well, he had a bit of dementia going on. He'd had a stroke and he didn't move that well. Glenn Campbell, who had Alzheimer's disease, did a farewell tour and he came to Birmingham. So I got us tickets and me, mum and dad went. And this song brings me to tears every time anyway. knowing it was his farewell gig, knowing that my dad was struggling and waiting for that song to come up, you know, and it did come up, obviously. And I just put my hand on dad's arm and, you know, just to acknowledge what a nice special moment this was. And he leant into me and he went, do you think we should get going? Because that car park's a nightmare to find.

Greg Davies12:05

I wouldn't have it any other way, mate.

Greg Davies12:12

Uh

Speaker 112:13

I am a lineman for the county

Speaker 112:18

And I drive the main road.

Speaker 112:23

Searching in the sun for another home alone

Speaker 112:32

I hear you singing in the wire

Speaker 112:38

I can hear you through the w

Presenter12:40

Glenn Campbell and Wichita Lineman, the emotion of which your dad remained completely impervious to.

Greg Davies12:48

Yeah.

Presenter12:50

Greg Davis, we've talked about your dad, you've told us a little bit about him. I want a clearer picture of your mum, Pauline. You've described her as the respectable face of the family. Well, she won't thank you.

Greg Davies13:00

Well, she won't thank me for that, mum, but yes, I think she would have to admit that it was her that would.

Greg Davies13:07

make sure that the madness of the family and the sort of wildly inappropriate things that we said to each other didn't make it past the front door, you know.

Presenter13:16

You're kept within doors.

Greg Davies13:17

Yeah, yeah. My mum doesn't want uh people to think ill of the family. Not not that we're a terrible family, of course.

Presenter13:21

No, but not

Presenter13:23

Indeed not. But, you know, someone has to assume that role, but presumably it's the person whose personality fits it the best that does that. So I wonder about your your mum's personality and and what made her the right person to keep it all together.

Greg Davies13:38

Well, I mean she's absolutely terrifying.

Greg Davies13:41

See

Presenter13:42

Straight.

Greg Davies13:42

She wasn't especially strict actually, but when she was annoyed, my sister will tell you the same, when she was annoyed, oh man, you knew it. I've portrayed that on stage a lot, you know, her temper, and I've portrayed her saying things wrong, getting things wrong, making mistakes. She claims to not enjoy some of it, but I don't know, we're still pretty good, me and my mum, so I don't think there's anything to really worry about.

Presenter14:11

Anything in particular that she's happy about?

Greg Davies14:13

What she doesn't like is when I say things that she thinks will mean that she's judged in the supermarket. That's the big yardstick.

Presenter14:23

So who is she really? Tell me more about her.

Greg Davies14:25

Well, I just think I think in many ways she was the backbone of our family and remains the backbone of our family. And I've never I never acknowledge that in my work because it's not it doesn't make for good laughs.

Greg Davies14:37

It was her that did the donkey work. My dad did a lot of work abroad, you know, and was sometimes gone for six months. Yeah, he was an academic. He was a lecturer, yeah. He was an academic, and he got some.

Presenter14:43

So you as an academic?

Greg Davies14:47

Work in the 80s in the States and in Africa. And yeah, so he was gone for long periods of time. And it was her that was there driving me to swimming training and driving my sister to music lessons, you know. But that's not what I want to say about her, really, is that she's just such a fantastically creative and intelligent and funny woman. And she's had a go at me about this, going, How come your dad gets all the

Presenter15:12

The credit

Greg Davies15:13

Why does your dad get the credit for your sense of humour? And it's entirely correct. She is a naturally funny woman. And she's remarkably thoughtful about the universe and life, you know. It was always her of my parents that was looking out to the stars and pondering the nature of life. And I love hanging out with her. And I'm glad I've said it on Desert Island discs.

Presenter15:37

Some people have a creative artistic approach to life, even if that's not technically what they do for a job.

Greg Davies15:44

No, exactly. And she was a practice manager for her working life, but she's always been creative. Shana and I always won the fancy dress competitions at primary school and beyond because my mum had made the costumes. So other kids would be turning up dressed as cowboys and my sister and I would be a walking scale model of the Coliseum.

Speaker 115:57

Uh

Presenter15:57

Yeah.

Speaker 115:57

Yeah.

Greg Davies16:05

I'm out.

Presenter16:06

The flip side to creativity though is often anxiety.

Greg Davies16:09

Yeah.

Presenter16:09

Did did your mum have that?

Greg Davies16:11

I think we all do. I think it's a Davis trait. Anxiety and catastrophization. And I think mum wouldn't mind me saying that her approach to life, and it's certainly mine and my sister's approach to life, is to imagine everything that can go wrong in every given situation and then be pleasantly surprised when it doesn't. And that's why the early years of comedy were so stressful. And it's probably why it took me so long to do comedy in the first place, because the risk of putting your head above the parapet is so great when you're an anxious personality type or a catastrophiser.

Speaker 116:37

Mm.

Presenter16:49

It's time for your third disc. Greg, what have you chosen and why are you taking it with you today?

Greg Davies16:54

So this is Yard Act with 100% Endurance. It's such an eloquent little song pondering the nature and the mysteries of existence. I just love it. And I'll often pop it on if I just need to switch off for a bit. And I, you know, going back to my mum, I just knew straight away when I heard it that she would love this. And we went on a drive and I played it to her and sure enough, she did love it. And we had a real moment to this little song, mum and I. She probably doesn't remember it, but I do. We listened to it a couple of times and then we got to our destination and I started the line and she joined in with me and the line that really gets to me in this song, I think it's so beautiful, is it's also pointless. Ah, but it's not though, is it? Watch me explore.

Greg Davies17:53

It's also pointless, ah, but it's not though, is it? It's really real, and when you feel it, you can really feel it. Grab somebody

Greg Davies18:06

Take em by the shoulders, scream in their face, Death is coming for us all, but not today.

Presenter18:14

Yard act and a hundred percent endurance. So, Greg, I've heard a lot about your family, but I want to know more about you, especially when you were a kid. What were you like at school? You must have been funny. Were you popular?

Greg Davies18:26

No.

Greg Davies18:28

I'm sure all comics you'll think I'm making this up. I mean honestly it's just such a frightened weed is how I felt and I hated school for years. I hated primary school and I certainly hated secondary school. I guess I started to find my people in what we would call the fourth and fifth year. Okay. Year 10 and 11.

Presenter18:50

Okay. Yeah, 10 and 11. So you're a weight. I mean, obviously you're six foot eight now.

Greg Davies18:54

Yeah, well I was always long.

Presenter18:56

So you were tall and skinny?

Greg Davies18:58

Yeah, but like a lot of my six foot eight came in one year. I grew eight inches in one year between sixteen and seventeen.

Presenter19:03

Between sixteen and

Presenter19:05

Oh, that must have been really difficult.

Greg Davies19:06

You could see me growing.

Presenter19:08

What was that like for you?

Greg Davies19:09

I don't really remember it, but I've always felt awkward. I was always an awkward kid. And

Greg Davies19:17

painfully thin bean pole. But you know my memories of school and I was discussing this with my mum and I I don't think my sister enjoyed school either. I just don't think we felt we we didn't find out where we fit in for a long time. I think that the bond between us as a family was so strong and we had such fun that outside of that it just took me a while to connect with the people who I would

Greg Davies19:45

feel the same connection and safety with.

Presenter19:48

Tell me then about when it actually started to come together. You said you found your tribe fourth year, fifth year in all.

Greg Davies19:55

But

Presenter19:55

Me?

Greg Davies19:55

What was happening?

Presenter19:56

What's happening?

Greg Davies19:58

think I suddenly found uh that there were a group of similarly minded silly boys who liked to uh

Greg Davies20:08

you know, rather than kick a football around, like to stand in the corner of the playground and make up stupid sketches and silly characters or or characterizing existing people within our year group who

Presenter20:22

So you would kind of give give s back stories to people?

Greg Davies20:25

Oh God, there there was a l I won't say his name, but there was a boy in our year who was very quiet.

Greg Davies20:31

And my friend and I invented a whole back story that his house was devoted to only to pressing his trousers and that there was actually nowhere to live in the house. It was just a huge trouser pressing machine. And it was purely because he had such a

Greg Davies20:48

He had such a crisp fold down the front of his trousers that we thought he can't be living a normal life. He must have devoted his life to having the most crisp trouser fold.

Presenter20:58

Were you watching a lot of comedy?

Greg Davies21:00

at this point. Well, I was already doing that with those silly boys and making up cartoons when the young ones came along, when I was I think I was fifteen when the young ones came along. You know, and it blew our minds. It was like, Oh, my God, someone's got into our heads and made a T V show.

Greg Davies21:18

But the thing that really stuck with me as well is I had an English teacher called Derek Evans, and he.

Greg Davies21:25

Me and my friends formed a comedy band called, and we called it Doom Trivia. I can't remember why. It was in sick form, and we recorded all these silly comedy songs and then we put self-aggrandizing posters all over the school saying that we were the band that caused the revolution, but we were largely ignored. So, we made this tape of all these silly comedy songs, and Derek saw us talking about it and he asked if he could listen to it. He took it home at the weekend. And when he came back, he'd written us a review of all of the tracks of our comedy album.

Speaker 121:30

It's just in six

Greg Davies21:56

And he pointed out what he found funny about them and what parts of the structure he liked. I remember it so clearly, and I know my mates felt the same. I can't believe that an actual adult is interested in this nonsense. Yeah. Quite a significant thing for me, anyway.

Presenter22:14

Greg, it's time for disc number four. What are we going to hear next?

Greg Davies22:17

Yes, uh it's um by the Starbridge indie band The Wonderstuff and it's one of the less chirpy sentiments. It's a sad little line, but I love I've been a long-term disappointment to myself, but it hits like a hammer when I'm that to someone else. It's just it always gets me. It's a good song this. Circle Square it's cool.

Presenter22:39

Why does it get you?

Greg Davies22:41

Well, I think we all feel it, don't we? I've certainly felt it and I've you know, as I'm sure we'll come on to, there were many, many years where I was disappointed with myself.

Greg Davies22:52

But it's very difficult when you see that disappointment reflected in someone else's eyes, when someone who cares about you is disappointed.

Greg Davies23:00

Yeah.

Speaker 123:01

Is that a smile that eggs beneath your nose?

Speaker 123:05

Or are your lips just stuck to your teeth? And they're too fixed to close you don't have to ham it up for me. But tell me how long you

Speaker 123:15

Wait a just to be with me

Speaker 123:19

Uh

Greg Davies23:19

I've been a long turn with a boyfriend

Speaker 323:22

To us.

Speaker 323:23

Uh

Speaker 123:24

But it hits like a hammer When I'm at to someone else, and the circle doesn't fit its little square.

Presenter23:33

The Wonder Stuff and Circle Square. So, Greg Davis, it's a song about disappointment. Who were you most afraid of disappointing?

Greg Davies23:43

I suppose, you know, I was all worried about

Greg Davies23:46

disappointing my parents. But it was my it was my mum that was m would be more ambitious for me than my dad in many ways, actually. I was a competitive swimmer for a while, which is so hard to believe, I know, and I see it in your face that you don't believe me, but I was.

Presenter24:03

I think you could get back on top. There's still time.

Greg Davies24:06

Well, you sound like my mum.

Presenter24:09

What was it that you wanted to do for your mum?

Greg Davies24:12

Well, succeed in do well in something, I think, was

Greg Davies24:17

You know, and I was I was naturally good at swimming and her attitude was always, Well, you're really good at this thing, do this thing, do it properly But I was just too young, I was too scared I was scared of the other boys at the swimming club. It's pathetic, isn't it?

Presenter24:33

It's hard to square this quite frightened, weedy young lad that you're describing with with the kind of magnificent beast of the title of your most recent stand-up show, where you're bestriding the stage and you're confidently declaring

Greg Davies24:37

What you describe

Greg Davies24:46

It's a late blooming beast.

Presenter24:49

Well, let's find out more about the years when your potential was somewhat latent then. You failed your A-levels first row.

Greg Davies24:54

You fail

Greg Davies24:56

Thank you. Spectacular.

Presenter24:58

Sorry. I mention it because I know that the summer that came after that was quite a significant one. Your dad was teaching overseas.

Greg Davies25:03

Yeah.

Greg Davies25:05

He was in um Virginia, yeah. So I he said, Why don't you just come out, fly out and be here? So I went, Brilliant. And within about a day I realized that

Greg Davies25:15

What I'd actually done is isolate myself in a strange little town in Virginia because my dad was working every day.

Presenter25:23

So how did you pass the time?

Greg Davies25:25

I had two cassette tapes on a Sony Walkman and I would wander around the streets of Blacksburg listening to it was a stand-up cassette, Eddie Murphy Delirious and the newly discovered Smiths. A Queen is Dead was the album. I mean a lot of that Delirious album has not aged well

Presenter25:44

There's a lot of it that you couldn't repeat. But the barbecue stuff

Greg Davies25:45

The barbecue stuff. But the barbecue routine is pivotal for me in that I had all these stories of things that had happened in my family that made me laugh and was telling them to my friends anyway. And suddenly, miles away, there was this gifted teenager making a living out of telling a story. That barbecue story so puts me in mind of my own family parties, the way that he characterised the individuals within his family.

Presenter26:13

It's these outsize family characters that he's conjuring up.

Greg Davies26:17

Yeah, and he does it so beautifully. And it's just minutiae of relationships within the family. And I was so excited. I don't think I consciously thought, I can do this. I could tell these stories. I just, I felt something with that routine. And I listened to that routine over and over and over again. And it so makes me think of my family.

Presenter26:19

And it's minus.

Speaker 126:30

Yeah.

Presenter26:39

So after that summer you came back to the UK and you took a course in English and theatre studies at what was then the West London Institute of Higher Education.

Greg Davies26:44

What was that?

Greg Davies26:47

Yes.

Presenter26:48

How did you get on?

Greg Davies26:49

Well, it was a terrible mismatch as it turned out because it was actually quite a serious physical theatre course.

Presenter26:56

Oh dear.

Greg Davies26:57

And you know I was just a silly show-off.

Presenter27:01

And after you graduated you decided to become a teacher.

Greg Davies27:04

Decided, yeah.

Presenter27:05

Was that a difficult choice to make?

Greg Davies27:08

I I think it's the only really bad bit of advice my dad ever gave me, really. It was him that said you sh you should go and do teaching. And he was a teacher, so I think he quite fancied the idea of a bit of a chip off the old block sort of thing. But also he wanted me to have the security of a job.

Presenter27:25

Did you know at the time that you were making a mistake?

Greg Davies27:29

No, I don't know whether I did, because I think uh I I thought it would just be a stepping stone. I hadn't uh banked on my own cowardice w when I made that decision.

Greg Davies27:42

Honestly, Lauren, it's a a mystery to me now. I I blinked and thirteen years passed.

Greg Davies27:48

Uh

Presenter27:49

Well, before we find out more about that, let's have another piece of music, shall we? Let's have your fifth choice today. What is it?

Greg Davies27:52

Toilettes.

Greg Davies27:55

Well, I'd take you back to the hills of Virginia, of me wandering around with a walkman, listening to.

Greg Davies28:03

The Queen is Dead. I mean the Smiths absolutely blew my mind and in a way I think sort of hand in hand with Eddie Murphy had quite an impact on me. I mean this I've chosen this song because I remember so clearly going what's he thinking about? He's talking about wandering around a graveyard recreationally. Yeah the lyrics of Morrissey had a very big impact on

Greg Davies28:25

Young Gregg Cemetery Gates by The Smith.

Speaker 128:29

I dreaded sunny days, so I'll meet you at the cemetery gates Keats and Yates are on your side

Speaker 128:38

I dreaded sunny days, so I meet you at the cemetery gates Keeps and gates are on your side Wow Wow. Outer ball

Speaker 128:52

So we go inside and we gravely stones All those people, all those lives, where are they now?

Presenter28:59

The Smiths and Cemetery Gates. Greg Davis, as we've heard, you taught English and drama for more than a decade. You've said you were very unhappy during that time, so why did you do it for so long?

Greg Davies29:10

I

Greg Davies29:11

Don't think that my skin was thick enough to start a career in comedy. I'd have fallen at the first bad review back then. And it was partly because, you know, it's a pretty all-consuming job teaching, and there are lots of great things about it. Some of my best mates are the mates I made in those teaching years still. And I work with some truly amazing teachers. So it was a rum old time.

Presenter29:30

And I won't.

Presenter29:34

I love the idea that you're avoiding the slings and arrows of a bad gig, so therefore.

Greg Davies29:39

Yeah, so I throw myself

Presenter29:40

So myself.

Greg Davies29:41

Yeah, but if you have a bad gig you can't put the audience in detention. You can't call their parents.

Presenter29:44

You can't call

Greg Davies29:46

Yeah.

Presenter29:46

It's true, it's true. So tell me more about teaching then. You were teaching drama and and I know that you've said that that sometimes you'd be putting on a production and you would actually feel jealous of the kids.

Greg Davies29:57

Yes, isn't that awful?

Presenter29:58

It's quite a big thing to admit that, isn't it?

Greg Davies30:00

Oh god, it's awful. It was actually prompted by

Greg Davies30:04

an EastEnders actor who came in to do a talk to the kids and he said to me, you know, I admire you doing this. It wouldn't be enough for me. I I want to be the one in the center. And I remember it landing so hard on me. He goes, Yes

Presenter30:13

Oh.

Greg Davies30:17

I want to be the centre of attention. I remember it so well.

Presenter30:21

So you must have known that that something really wasn't right at that point.

Greg Davies30:24

Yeah, throughout the teaching career, I don't think I did the children a disservice, and I certainly had some great times, but it was just nagging away at me the whole time.

Presenter30:33

Did it wear you down?

Greg Davies30:35

Yeah, it

Presenter30:35

It sounds like you were you were truly depressed.

Greg Davies30:38

I mean, honestly.

Greg Davies30:40

Every morning before work, I woke up in tears. And I but I honestly, it's so funny. I remember rationalizing it, going, I mean, everyone's doing this. Everyone's getting up and being upset because no one wants to go to work.

Presenter30:48

Everybody

Greg Davies30:53

But looking back on it, you know I was.

Greg Davies30:55

Yeah, I think I probably was depressed.

Presenter30:56

What did the kids think of you?

Greg Davies30:58

Well I like to think we had a great time. Some past pupils have confirmed that, and others have have not held back with saying what a terrible teacher I was and how disorganised and how they saw through me.

Presenter31:09

Really?

Greg Davies31:10

Yeah.

Presenter31:10

I'd like to hear that though from an ex-pupil.

Greg Davies31:14

Yeah, although they said it with affection.

Presenter31:15

You were nominated for Teacher of the Year.

Greg Davies31:17

Oh yeah, I know, but just by one girl. My head teacher was laughing his head off because she'd written out the form for Teacher of the Year, which is quite a prestigious award. And she'd only put one sentence on the form. She'd put, He's a dead good laugher, he don't make us do no work.

Presenter31:35

Do you look back with regret ever about the negative feelings that you had?

Greg Davies31:39

I don't think I do anymore. I did for a long time look back on it as wasted time. But I, you know, the more I've got into my, and I've been a comedian a lot longer than I was a teacher. And I think I've got a bit of perspective now. And I think I needed time to thicken up my skin. And, you know, it helped me with sort of presentation, you know, and confidence.

Presenter32:01

Will it come?

Presenter32:03

You carry that headmasterly quality into some of the roles that you take on.

Greg Davies32:08

Well, I think it's the reason I landed uh in between us.

Presenter32:10

In between is most obviously playing a teacher, but I mean even even just the way that you declaim on stage, it's got there's an authoritativeness about

Greg Davies32:12

A and t

Greg Davies32:18

Definitely, and it's a self-defense mechanism when you're a teacher. You have to conjure up this preposterous authority, and it's mock authority in my case, as any of my friends will tell you. It's the same on Taskmaster. It's this pantomime authoritarian. And the teaching years stood me in good stead for that, for sure. It's very easy for you to sort of put sections of your life under an unfair heading. And the stand-up version is, I hated teachers, I hated children, it was a black time in my life. And the truth is, it was a fascinating, insane time in my life.

Presenter32:47

Yeah.

Presenter32:53

Greg on that no, I think we'd better hear some more music. Number six, what's it gonna be?

Greg Davies32:57

It's um Consider Yourself from the sound track of Oliver.

Greg Davies33:01

When I'm sitting on that island, I want to look back on the teaching years with affection. I don't want to remember the pantomime version of the teaching years. Those productions, I did Oliver twice with the kids, and those productions were great fun. And also, you know, there's this theme in my life of trying to find my gang all the time, Laura, and trying to find the tribe. And Consider Yourself is a pretty good song for that, I think. It's nice when you find your tribe.

Presenter33:26

Come to sit to yourself and home Come sit to yourself Fran and the family I take it to you so strong

Presenter33:37

It's clear we're going to get along. Can't see yourself well in

Presenter33:44

Come on, sick of yourself.

Speaker 333:44

Come on. See

Presenter33:46

Part of the furniture. There isn't a lot to spare.

Presenter33:51

Who cares whatever we got this year? If it's your chance to be wishy some harder days.

Speaker 133:59

Uh

Presenter33:59

Consider yourself from the original soundtrack of the film Oliver, composed by Lionel Bart. Gregg Davis, life started to turn around for you after you received quite an unusual present. I think it was for your thirty second birthday, and it was from your girlfriend.

Greg Davies34:14

It was for my girlfriend at the time, an Australian lady called Trine, and she bought me a Magoina flotation tank because she thought I'd like that sort of rubbish.

Presenter34:23

Okay, so so she gets you this whimsical present.

Greg Davies34:25

Mm.

Presenter34:26

What happened?

Greg Davies34:27

It was very relaxing. I floated in some salt water and then the next morning I woke up and I couldn't stop crying. I can't believe I've talked about crying so much on this. I couldn't stop crying for the whole day and I couldn't understand why. The day after that I couldn't stop crying and day three I thought, okay, I've gone mad.

Presenter34:46

I'm in trouble here.

Greg Davies34:46

Yeah.

Greg Davies34:47

And Trin was going to a barbecue and she said, I don't know what happened to you, but come to this barbecue. So I went and I just happened to overhear, it sounds like I'm making this whole thing up, I happened to overhear a woman saying that she owned a flotation tank center. And I pounced on her and I went, you've got to help me. I've been in a flotation tank and I think I've gone mad. And she took me off to the corner of the garden and it was really sweet and said, okay, I'll tell you what I think's going on here. And it often happens with flotation tanks, is you get to such a stage of relaxation that lots of things that you've suppressed get released into your system. And she goes, it might be that you're in a bad relationship. It might be that there's something you've never done with your life that you know you should have done. It was a real turning point.

Presenter35:38

You immediately knew what she meant.

Greg Davies35:40

Yeah, I knew exactly what I'd been suppressing.

Presenter35:42

So what happened next?

Greg Davies35:43

I put into my old uh nineteen nineties Dell computer, I put in comedy courses, and there was one comedy course in Soho in London, uh stand up comedy, once a week, for like eleven weeks I think it was.

Presenter35:57

What did it mean to you to finally be up there, to finally be performing? Because there was a performance at the end.

Greg Davies36:01

Link is there.

Greg Davies36:03

Just

Greg Davies36:04

Honestly, so important to me and I'd like to you know, I should say Logan Murray, who still runs that course now, probably has no idea of the significance for me of that little course. But then I met all these like-minded people who wanted to try this mad thing in life. I mean, absolute game-changing event for me.

Presenter36:20

Mm-hmm.

Presenter36:24

How did it feel when you finally left your last day in the job as a teacher? Do you remember it?

Greg Davies36:29

Yeah, I really do remember it, and I I'd love to tell you there were mixed feelings, there weren't. It was absolute ecstasy, and I destroyed my teaching clothes, and I got very drunk.

Presenter36:43

How did you destroy them? That sounds like a really ritualistic, simple account.

Greg Davies36:46

I've got it in mind that I burnt them, but I think that might be the stand up in me just tickling up the facts. I think I probably put them in the bin, Lauren. They were horrible, horrible slacks.

Presenter36:58

But listen, I'm really intrigued to know when the headmasterly bluster, when the performance of confidence became actual confidence for you, because that's where the mismatch is, I think, in your story, that you were scared to try for such a long time.

Greg Davies37:12

No.

Presenter37:12

Was there a tipping point where you started to feel genuinely self-confident?

Greg Davies37:17

No.

Presenter37:20

You're not there yet.

Greg Davies37:20

No, I w uh maybe the last couple of years.

Greg Davies37:24

Maybe in the last couple of years I've thought, I think you've done all right.

Presenter37:28

Has there been a particular moment that you can remember a feeling of contentment sneaking up on you?

Greg Davies37:33

No, I don't think so. I I well, I think m Man Down, w w when they gave me my own sitcom, it was both terrifying and

Greg Davies37:43

Perhaps I

Greg Davies37:45

I was going to say I allowed myself to enjoy it, but I didn't. I didn't allow myself to enjoy it. It was. I'm glad that you.

Presenter37:49

I'm glad that you're not going to lie to us. But certainly, you must, there was an inner acknowledgement then.

Greg Davies37:56

Well, you have to. When someone gives you your own sitcom and you get to write it with your friends and get to have fantasy figures like Rick Male appear in. I mean, that.

Presenter38:05

Yeah.

Greg Davies38:07

Walking into a room to talk to Rick Male about playing My Dad. By the way, he was only five years older than me, Rick.

Greg Davies38:13

But talk to him about playing my dad and have him turn round to me and put his arms out and say he he grabbed me and he said Comrade in my ear. It's the first thing Rick Mayle said to me. You know, I just couldn't believe that I was acting with that man.

Greg Davies38:32

I mean, I still pinch myself now.

Presenter38:34

Greg, it's time to go to the music. Your seventh choice today. What are we going to hear next and why?

Greg Davies38:39

For a long time I've said this is my favourite song. I think it's probably been usurped, but it is a banger. And I would say I have mimed in front of a mirror to this song more times than I'd care to tell you, and more recently than I would care to tell you.

Greg Davies38:56

It's She Sells Sanctuary by The Cult.

Speaker 139:17

Uh

Speaker 339:17

Blah blah blah.

Speaker 139:20

Betrayer

Presenter39:28

The Cult and She Sells Sanctuary. Greg Davis, you write a lot of your own work, including the T V series Man Down and the Cleaner. I think it's fair to say you don't enjoy writing.

Greg Davies39:40

No, I mean I find it torture. But but I think l you know, like everything, it's got less, although I am writing at the moment and and I

Greg Davies39:49

Did almost smash my fat up the other night. So, no, I still find it hard. Yeah, well.

Presenter39:52

Yeah, why why is it so difficult? What's what's it about?

Greg Davies39:55

Well, I think it's narrative. Narrative structure is it's just one of those things that you just have to learn. It's like being held hostage by your own brain. We as writers always try to do complex plots and make everything fit together. And you just have to slog that out. Your brain won't let you solve those problems quickly. And I mean, I literally have smashed my flat up doing this.

Presenter40:21

So the frustration is like you express it physically. I mean, you said, I think you said you go full King Lear.

Greg Davies40:28

Yeah, yeah, I'm not sure.

Presenter40:29

What does that look like? So smashing the flat up?

Greg Davies40:31

I smashed a perfectly good guitar against my wall. There's still a d if you came to my flat, there's still a dent in my wall where I smashed. Really nice guitar.

Greg Davies40:40

I kicked my sock drawer off on purpose.

Greg Davies40:44

I've still got that drawer. It's in the spare room. I had to glue the front on, so there's one drawer that won't open in my spare room.

Greg Davies40:50

But it goes back to what I was saying about wanting it so much, especially when I was writing Man Down, I wanted to make it so good. I knew what an opportunity it was. And I knew I was lucky. I was it was late in life for me to be

Greg Davies41:03

starting comedy and to be given my own sitcom.

Presenter41:05

So the stakes still fail.

Greg Davies41:07

The stakes felt so high. And then you've got to fold in the Davis catastrophizing gene. You know, this is your last chance anyway. So if you put all that in, I mean, the the stress I put myself under in those five years is ridiculous. So I'm a bit more chilled now.

Presenter41:15

Yeah.

Presenter41:22

It's interesting that you haven't had those things fixed, though, Greg.

Greg Davies41:25

No, it's interesting.

Presenter41:26

What's that about?

Greg Davies41:26

Yeah. I don't know. Maybe I I should get some therapy and find out. It's like they're sort of mon

Presenter41:31

Do you want them to

Greg Davies41:32

Like monuments to pain. Yeah.

Presenter41:33

Like monuments.

Presenter41:34

Yeah.

Greg Davies41:35

Yeah.

Presenter41:36

I mean, it sounds like rage, but underneath that is fear, isn't it? Always.

Greg Davies41:41

Yeah, fear of failure, yeah.

Presenter41:44

Well, hopefully you'll be able to dwell on your successes on the island. How are you feeling about being a castaway?

Greg Davies41:51

Well, I think if you'd asked me a few years ago, the idea of being on my own anywhere would be I mean, and really in recent years, maybe even five years ago I would have said it's my idea of hell. But I do think age brings, you know, a few benefits and one of them is um being a bit more comfortable in your own company. So I d I don't think I'll mind it. As long as I've got things to tinker with.

Presenter42:09

Yeah.

Presenter42:13

Okay.

Greg Davies42:14

Yeah, I'm gonna make a very elaborate hut on that beach.

Presenter42:14

See you in the middle.

Presenter42:17

You're going to need to keep yourself busy.

Greg Davies42:18

I'm gonna learn to weave.

Greg Davies42:20

I'm going to learn to build and I am never happier than when I'm in water.

Greg Davies42:27

As long as it's shallow enough for there to be no sharks, I will be very happy splashing around.

Presenter42:32

Okay. What about fending for yourself? You said you're going to want to keep busy. Do you think you'll be quite capable at all of that? You know, building a fire, catching something to eat, cooking.

Greg Davies42:41

I'll probably have to go vegetarian though. And it's ironic given what I'm about to tell you is my luxury item, but I think I'd have to go vegetarian because I I wouldn't be able to uh wrestle the life from a fish. I've not got it in me.

Presenter42:54

No.

Greg Davies42:54

So it'd have to be a coconut heavy diet, I think.

Presenter42:56

So it sounds like you're you're not contemplating escape.

Greg Davies43:00

Now

Greg Davies43:01

No, I've d I'm I'm good now. I'm happy to s kick back.

Greg Davies43:05

Yeah, my ambition's falling off a cliff, Laura.

Presenter43:10

Well, we've got one more track to get to.

Presenter43:13

So, just keep it on the precipice for a moment. Disc number eight. What's your final choice today? Well,.

Greg Davies43:15

Yeah.

Presenter43:18

I was

Greg Davies43:19

Truly in the 80s on my trajectory, which has carried on musically of being into jangly indie.

Greg Davies43:27

boy music. And then I went to Glastonbury Festival very early, like like nineteen ninety or something like that, and I went to see Julian Cope.

Greg Davies43:37

And Julian was poorly, and they'd replaced Julian Cope with the Samoan West Coast rappers, the Booyah tribe. And the Booyah tribe blew my mind. And it was very much, as ever with me, a late introduction to hip-hop. And hip-hop always rears its head every now and then. And I love the next episode. I don't think there is any situation ever that wouldn't be improved by playing the next episode by Dr. Dre.

Speaker 344:13

Stir it up at the MicroDouble J.

Speaker 344:17

You know what happened with the decor?

Speaker 344:20

Yeah yeah yeah

Speaker 344:21

You know who's back up in this

Speaker 344:27

Yeah, stop snow top dog by the mark, Bernie

Speaker 344:33

DPGC man turn it up CPTLBC yeah we hookin' back up And when they banged us in the club baby you got to hear them

Presenter44:41

The next episode, Doctor Dre featuring Snoop Dogg. So, Greg Davis, I'm going to send you away to the island. I'm giving you the Bible, the complete works of Shakespeare. You can take one other book. What are you going to choose?

Greg Davies44:53

John Steinbeck's of Mice and Men. It's a sad little book.

Greg Davies44:58

But it's also

Greg Davies45:00

Often funny, and it's so heartwarming at times, and it's a real, pretty powerful story about friendship. Now, spoiler alert, maybe it doesn't end that well, but there's something that my dad always used to say to me when I was feeling sorry for myself: it's fine to feel sorry for yourself, but look around, there's always someone worse off than you. And it's true, and you sometimes just need to pull yourself together. And I think that the story of George and Lenny will remind me that sitting on my desert island, things are pretty cushy.

Presenter45:36

Of Meissen Men, it's yours. You can also have a luxury item. What will you go for?

Greg Davies45:40

I mean, God forgive me, Lauren, it's going to be sausages.

Presenter45:42

Sausages? Yeah. What kind of sausages?

Greg Davies45:43

Dia.

Greg Davies45:44

And I'm a ru you know, in many ways I'd like to be a vegetarian, but

Greg Davies45:48

Sausages to me are the food equivalent of Doctor Dre. You know, there's never a situation that isn't improved by a sausage.

Presenter45:55

Okay, I can see that.

Greg Davies45:56

Support Gog Standard.

Presenter45:59

So like a cheapie, you don't want a one of those luxury ones that I'd see and I don't want

Greg Davies46:01

Those should be ones that

Greg Davies46:03

I don't want my sausages cut with anything.

Presenter46:07

Okay, okay.

Greg Davies46:07

I don't want them to put fenugreek in it, I want some cheap straight sausages.

Presenter46:14

Do you know what, Greg? You can have a lifetime supply.

Greg Davies46:17

Thank you. That's all I want. I'm a very simple man in many ways. I like the occasional sausage. I think you're going to have a great time on this island. It doesn't sound awful, does it? I mean, there's many, many people I'll miss terribly, but

Presenter46:26

I mean this is

Greg Davies46:30

You know I'll think of them when I'm tucking into my sausages.

Presenter46:33

Yeah, and you'll have them all to yourself.

Presenter46:35

Finally, one last question. Which of the eight tracks that you've shared with us today would you rush to save from the waves first?

Greg Davies46:42

Uh

Greg Davies46:43

I mean, it would be between Wichita Lineman and 100% Endurance. Do I have to decide between those?

Presenter46:50

It's gotta be one.

Greg Davies46:51

Well, I think my dad would have loved the sentiment behind a hundred percent endurance as well. I I think he'd probably let me float uh Glen Campbell out to sea. So I'll keep those Yardak boys with me just to remind me that everything's all right.

Presenter47:06

Yeah, and I think the endurance will be a very necessary quality on the island too.

Greg Davies47:09

Like I'm leveling off sausages, yeah.

Presenter47:12

Craig Davis, thank you very much for letting us hear your desert island discs.

Greg Davies47:17

Thank you, Lauren. I've had a lovely old time.

Presenter47:40

Hello, I hope you enjoyed my conversation with Greg and I hope he enjoys many a sausage on the island. Maybe I should have thrown in a frying pan. We've cast away many comics including Jimmy Carr, Miranda Hart, Victoria Wood and John Bishop. You can find their episodes in our Desert Island Discs programme archive and through BBC Sounds. The studio manager for today's programme was Jackie Marjoram. The assistant producer was Christine Pavlovsky and the producer was Paula McGinley. The series editor is John Gowdy. Next time, my guest will be the Paralympic athlete, Dame Sarah Story. I do hope you'll join us.

Speaker 348:29

That she needs to see this.

Presenter48:30

She needs to see Paddington too, apparently, so keep it brief.

Speaker 348:34

Nobody, comma, in the country, comma, can access any of their money. Full stop.

Greg Davies48:42

Money Gone A new fast-paced satirical thriller from BBC Radio 4.

Speaker 148:47

What does everyone need in a zombie apocalypse? Health kits. A world in crisis.

Speaker 348:53

He's signalling to us. He might need help.

Speaker 148:56

Yeah, he could be a hijack for all we know. Look at him, after our petrol or our bodies.

Greg Davies49:00

How thin are the barriers between civilization and chaos when no one can access their money?

Presenter49:05

I am a law-abiding citizen. I haven't done anything. This is it now. They have started the cult.

Presenter49:13

Your money's gone, because you're redundant now.

Presenter49:16

I don't need you.

Presenter49:18

It isn't neat.

Presenter49:20

The Powers That Be!

Greg Davies49:27

Money Gone Available on BBC Sounds.

Greg Davies49:31

It's the Great Reset.