Sarah Millican

Presenter0:00

Hello, I'm Kirsty Young. Thank you for downloading this podcast of Desert Island Discs from BBC Radio 4. For rights reasons the music choices are shorter than in the radio broadcast.

Presenter0:10

For more information about the programme, please visit bbc.co.uk slash radio four.

Presenter0:34

My castaway this week is the comedian Sarah Millikan. Her Every Woman Yet No Holds Bard style of comedy has brought her sell out tours and several of her own highly successful series on the B B C.

Presenter0:46

Revelling in normality and drawing on the difficult, intimate, and often excruciating moments of being human, she dares to say what most of us are thinking only she's funnier much, much funnier. A Geordie born in South Shields, her dad was an engineer down the mines, and her mum was a hairdresser. They encouraged their daughter in her story telling and performing.

Presenter1:07

Even though her childhood shyness meant she'd recite her poetry from behind the living-room curtains. Later, it was pain that first propelled her onto the stage, when a broken early marriage provided the catalyst she needed to find the courage to confront the glaring judgment of the audience's gaze. Her rise was then rapid. Within four years she was awarded Best Newcomer at the Edinburgh Fringe. She says people come along and think, Oh, she's been too rude. They don't realise I'm just like this at home. People think I'm prim and proper at home, but I'm not. I'm just me, transplanted onto the stage. So do you find are you one of those people then that finds comedy in everything in real life, Sarah Millikan?

Sarah Millican1:49

I try to because I think it's quite a good way of thinking about things. So s something horrible happens to you, but there's something funny in the middle of all of that. It somehow lightens it and maybe makes it easier to handle. So it is something I look for.

Presenter2:01

I think every comedian I ever speak to is always sort of looking for material because, you know, whether it's television or being on the road, that is a a voracious beast. You know, it it gobbles up the material. Are you always sort of on red alert for good material?

Sarah Millican2:07

The road

Sarah Millican2:14

Yeah, but m good material can come for me can come from just having a conversation with a friend. So what I find is if all the only jokes I can think of are related to driving or hotels, then I know I need to see my friends or maybe go supermarket shopping or go to the cinema or just do some normal things, and then all of a sudden material comes again.

Presenter2:32

And what makes you laugh? I mean a proper sort of gut laugh that comes from nowhere.

Sarah Millican2:37

Oh, loads of things. I'm such a laugher. Everyday conversations with my husband or my family make me laugh a lot. Uh we my my sister always says, you know, we're all funny in our house, Sarah's the only one that gets paid. And which I love I love the sort of mild arrogance of that. But also it's true. We are I'm not the funny one when I go home. We are.

Presenter2:56

Go.

Sarah Millican2:56

Yeah.

Presenter2:56

Old

Sarah Millican2:56

Fuddy.

Presenter2:56

Um you do have a probably a fair reputation for having what I might politely term as a bit of a potty mouth on you.

Sarah Millican3:04

It's not only you that cause me that.

Presenter3:06

Yes. Do do do your mum and dad get sorta kinda clip you around the ear for that or not?

Sarah Millican3:10

No, not at all. No, i because I've always been like that, just now I it's my job. So therefore I it's justified. No,'cause my mum once said that she thought I was quite coarse on stage, but she doesn't realise that she's where I get it from. Like, I get the story telling from my dad, but I get the rudeness and the filth from my mum.

Presenter3:27

I got in a right old kerfuffle in my head introducing you as a Geordie, because I've had so many opinions today about what is a Geordie and what isn't a Geordie. Technically, are you a Geordie?

Sarah Millican3:34

According to my dad, who I think is like the ultimate in truth, because that's what you're supposed to think of your dad, he's the oracle.

Presenter3:40

What do you think of your dad?

Sarah Millican3:42

Then yes, because apparently being a Jodi means you were born on the banks of the Tyne and I was born in South Shields, but technically I'm also a sand dancer. But nobody really says that much, because it doesn't sound as cool, does it?

Presenter3:52

Letters please about this to Sarah Melek. And for now, it's time for your first disc, Sarah. Tell me about this and why you've chosen it.

Sarah Millican3:59

My first disc is Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham.

Presenter4:03

And

Sarah Millican4:03

Uh many reasons, uh it's the first single I ever bought.

Speaker 24:03

Yeah.

Sarah Millican4:07

I play it every day because I play it while I'm changing the cat litter. We've got like a really old kind of ghetto blaster where I normally do the cat litter, and it's got like an I Love Whatever That Year Is C D in it. And the second track is this song. So I play it on repeat because it's one of a handful of songs I think that I can listen to for a long period of time and never get sick of it, which I think on a desert island is probably quite an important factor. But also, I think it would remind me of cleaning cat litter trays, which makes me feel like a good cat mam.

Speaker 24:41

You see my soul sky high when you love him starts A to the border into my brain Goes to bang, bang bang till my feet do the same But something pride you, something ain't right My best friend told me what you did last night Left me sleeping in my bed I was dreaming but I should've been with you instead

Speaker 25:04

Wake me up before you go go Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo Wake me up before you go go I don't wanna miss you

Presenter5:15

That was Wham and Wake Me Up Before You Go Go. Is it true I've heard rumours, said Amilikan, that you have a George Michael Knightie?

Sarah Millican5:21

Not any more. Um, I used to have it. It was just a long T shirt with George Michael on, but I wore it for bed. I think I wanted him to be close to my heart when I slept.

Presenter5:31

Um I sometimes wonder when I watch the guests on your T V show, and it is a mixture of of stand up and their little skits, and then you do interviews with people, pretty much always men, and ask them often these innuendo laden questions that are, you know

Speaker 15:38

Uh

Speaker 25:38

Uh

Sarah Millican5:38

Yeah.

Speaker 15:38

Uh

Sarah Millican5:46

But all right, you know.

Presenter5:47

Well, they're hysterically funny. Do the guys know what you're going to ask them? No. No, they never look like that.

Sarah Millican5:50

No, no, they never look like that. Oh no, that's no fun. They know that it's not going to be mean and that it's going to be fun and that it might be cheeky. I think that's as far as we go. But generally, you ease somebody into an interview. So you ask them a few nice questions and then you go, Right, now we're ready. They're softened. The walls are down. Let's and w our policy was always just to do that question first.

Sarah Millican6:13

And absolutely floor them, and it generally did.

Presenter6:15

It is impossible, it seems right now, to talk to a woman who is working in comedy without raising the prospect of women in comedy. Now you might well sort of let out a bit of a sigh at this, but I wonder what you make of these new guidelines certainly within the BBC and more broadly they seem to be being taken up within your industry of saying yes, you know, we need to see women on these panel shows and it's not fair that every time we turn them on we see five men.

Sarah Millican6:22

No, you

Sarah Millican6:40

Uh

Presenter6:40

And often just no women at all.

Sarah Millican6:43

I don't know. I think if that's the only way that you can get some people to take female panelists, then I suppose that's the way it has to be. But I just think it's really disappointing that sort of, you know, fifty-one per cent of the population has to have a quota in order to get on to be have a representation on a teleprogramme. It seems a bit ridiculous. But if that's the only way it happens, then I guess that's the way it has to be.

Presenter7:03

At your gigs, as I understand it, they don't do a big turn on the bar, do they? There's not they're not a big boozy crowd.

Sarah Millican7:07

No, they they're not'cause I think I think you are reflected in your audience. There was one time in I think it was Portsmouth where they came back stage in the interval and said it's kicking off of the bar and I thought, My audience, all in their cardigans? I don't think so. Turns out they'd run out of ice cream.

Sarah Millican7:23

Which says all you need to know about my audience.

Presenter7:26

Let's hear your second piece of music, Sarah Millikan. What's next?

Sarah Millican7:26

Yeah.

Sarah Millican7:29

My second piece of music is uh Peri Como's Home for the Holidays.

Presenter7:33

And why this?

Sarah Millican7:34

It is a song that we used to play when we were kids. My mum and dad had a Peri Como Christmas album that was trotted out every year, apart from the year that they couldn't find it. And I swear that in the July somebody had given me permission to take it to the blueprint bringing by sale. Somebody had. I don't remember which parent. But it's also a song that we used to use to sort of actively puncture any tension. So, for example, if there was an argument, like there are arguments, every all family has arguments, somebody in the family would always start singing, Oh, there's no place like home for the holidays in a sarcastic way and it would just undercut it, everybody would laugh and the tension had gone.

Speaker 28:15

Oh, there's no place like home for the holiday.

Speaker 28:21

Cause no matter how far away you roam

Speaker 28:27

When you pie for the sunshine of a friendly gaze For the holidays you can't be homesweet for.

Speaker 18:34

More in the house.

Speaker 28:39

I met a man who lives in Tennessee, and he was a head

Speaker 28:46

Pennsylvania

Presenter8:46

That was Perry Como and Home for the Holidays and Memories for You, Sarah Millikan, of just life at home, family life and sometimes little arguments and people using that song to get through the little arguments. This little girl that was behind the curtains reciting poetry then, tell me a little bit more about her. What were you reciting? What was the poem?

Sarah Millican8:59

Tell me a little bit.

Sarah Millican9:01

Yeah.

Sarah Millican9:03

Uh oh, you're not gonna make me do it, are you?

Presenter9:08

You're ahead of me.

Sarah Millican9:09

Oh God, there's so many verses, Kirstie, you haven't got time.

Presenter9:12

Just give us the first fare.

Sarah Millican9:13

Ok, uh, Christmas is a lot of fun And Santa Claus has just begun To wrap up presents, lots of toys All wrapped together for girls and boys

Presenter9:22

The

Sarah Millican9:23

Bluff

Presenter9:23

Thanks.

Sarah Millican9:23

Thank you.

Presenter9:23

See ya.

Sarah Millican9:23

I don't believe you made me do my Christmas poem!

Presenter9:27

Um you were born in nineteen seventy five in South Shields in uh Tyneham Weir. Uh Valerie and Philip, your mum and dad. Tell me a little bit more about home life.

Sarah Millican9:36

Um, I always remember being quite sort of tap dancey as a child, which is it probably sounds really irritating. I certainly never had any lessons or anything like that. Just whenever we got new shoes, uh, we had a Coke boiler, and around the Coke boiler were tiles, and we'd just go on and do a little tap dance in our shoes. And I used to write poems and things like that, and I would always perform. But then outside of home, I was very quiet and very sort of bookish. Um, but I think at home was just such a comfortable place. It was always somewhere that you felt that you could be 100% yourself.

Presenter10:09

So would you have been in the school shows, or would you have?

Sarah Millican10:11

I was the narrator one year'cause I had a good speaking voice and I was one's third child.

Sarah Millican10:18

in a Christmas Carol, and I had to say, Here's Martha, Mother That was my line. I didn't want to be a star, I wanted to be involved in the kind of rehearsals and behind the scenes y sort of stuff, which sort of led on to when I wanted to be I kind of wanted to be a film writer or a film director in my sort of teens and twenties.

Presenter10:36

Your mum was a hairdresser, is that right? But not for long, she didn't sw

Sarah Millican10:37

Isn't that right?

Sarah Millican10:39

No no, not for long,'cause she had, um, polio. So the fact that she battled to even only do that for a few years is a I think a sign of the kind of uh drive that she had.

Presenter10:49

And so did she d even though she couldn't in any longer work in a salon, did people come and did she do their hair at home or she just gave it up completely?

Sarah Millican10:55

She did ours.

Presenter10:56

Did she

Sarah Millican10:56

Did she?

Presenter10:57

Yeah.

Sarah Millican10:58

She did a lot of home poems, yeah.

Presenter10:58

She did a lot of

Presenter11:01

What age were you when you had your first parent?

Sarah Millican11:03

My very first perm. Um, I think I was probably too young. Is there too young? And we had a a cupboard that was sort of a larder, I suppose, that had a door. When you open the door, there's a mirror, a full-length mirror, and she'd put a chair in front of it, open the cupboard, chair in front, and that's how you got your hair cut. Most of the time, it was brilliant, and she was great, and I would go in looking like a bobby dazzler. But there was one time that I had quite a lot of growth on my perm, quite a lot of straight at the top. So she permed on top of the perm.

Sarah Millican11:31

and then said she was just gonna take the edges off and got a little bit as a happy. And I went from having sort of hair past my shoulders curly to the next day just having going back into school with like boy short hair.

Sarah Millican11:42

And I thought I'm gonna get ribbed for this, this is gonna be awful'cause I wasn't popular at school. I was quite sort of slightly bullied and sort of picked on a little bit'cause I was quite quiet. Um and I thought this is gonna be awful. And I went back into school next day and nobody noticed. That's the joy of being a wallflower.

Presenter11:59

Is that in a way even sadder, that nobody likes this?

Sarah Millican12:01

Yes, but also sadder in yeah, looking at it but now it's probably quite sad, but at the time it was brilliant because nobody noticed it's

Presenter12:08

Yeah. It does mean that you weren't a popular girl at school,'cause you seem so sort of warm and friendly. Has that come later?

Sarah Millican12:15

I think I was warm and friendly then, but I just don't think I was quite studious, and I don't think that gets you many friends at school.

Sarah Millican12:22

I got on really well with the teachers. That doesn't get you many friends. I had a

Sarah Millican12:26

I think I was twelve, and my math teacher came to my birthday party. That says a lot, doesn't it?

Presenter12:32

That says a loss.

Sarah Millican12:32

That's all you

Presenter12:33

Uh

Sarah Millican12:33

He needs to know we should stop

Presenter12:34

Now kiss that more than more than any question I'm about to ask you ever could.

Presenter12:41

Let's have your third piece of music. Tell me about this.

Sarah Millican12:43

My third song is Pharrell Williams Happy. I think on a desert island I'm gonna need something that's gonna make me jig along and I think this'll be the one.

Speaker 212:52

Might seem crazy what I'm bout to say

Speaker 212:58

Don't try to shoot here.

Speaker 213:00

Take a break.

Speaker 213:04

I do

Speaker 213:06

Ghostway

Speaker 213:09

With the air, like I don't care, baby, by the way.

Speaker 213:14

Because I'm happy I'm alone if you feel like a room without room

Speaker 213:22

I belong

Presenter13:25

That was for Elle Williams and Happy. Lots of us, Sarah Milliken, have met your dad, Philip. We've met him on T V because of course he infamously or famously makes appearances now. You Skype him and he gives you advice about stuff. When you were growing up he was

Speaker 113:33

Appearance is now useful.

Sarah Millican13:34

Guy.

Speaker 113:34

Uh

Presenter13:37

I said down the mines, but he was an electrical engineer at a mine. He would actually have gone down the mines. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Sarah Millican13:42

Yeah, yeah. Oh, absolutely.

Presenter13:43

Yeah. What do you remember about as a little girl? What kind of dad was he?

Sarah Millican13:47

I remember I'm astonished that I it doesn't feel like he was an absent dad because he worked sort of seven days a week, fifty weeks a year. And I think, logically, that should mean that I didn't see him that much. But I remember seeing him loads and I all I can think is that he mustn't have slept the times that he was supposed to be having a nap, he must have been with us. I remember that I wasn't allowed to play Kaplunk, the board game, the noisy marble ball ki board game, because I wasn't able to play that sometimes because he was asleep in the next room. But, you know, that's that's not a hardship, is it really?

Presenter14:17

So, as we know, you were born in 1975. The miners' strike came in 1984. Now, we hear.

Sarah Millican14:22

Yeah.

Presenter14:23

You know, we've heard so often and so interestingly by people on all sides of the minor strike, but they always tend to be adults. So can you tell me what did it feel like to be a child in a community in the middle of the minor strike?

Sarah Millican14:35

I think, um

Sarah Millican14:37

I have purposefully kept my memories as a child, so I haven't really sort of. I don't know, I.

Sarah Millican14:44

I remember it was hard, but I remember that the family were really strong. I went to free dinners, free school dinners, and there was me and one other girl in our year, and we used to get seconds and sometimes cuddles off the dinner ladies. And I guess they probably felt sorry for us, but at the time we were just, I'm never going to turn down a cuddle, no matter if it's in sympathy or not. And I remember there was a time when.

Sarah Millican15:07

I woke up and the bed was covered in blood and it was because my shoes were too tight and I hadn't told my parents because I knew they couldn't afford any new shoes. So I wore wellies for some of the summer holidays. But I also remember like the French miners that Christmas sent loads of toys. So we still got presents at Christmas, but it was very clear where they'd come from. You know, some other people in a different country had helped us out, which I think at nine is quite an astonishing thing to learn.

Presenter15:38

Did you feel even though children don't understand necessarily all the practicalities of poverty, they can feel shamed by the idea that they've not got the same as other people can feel. Did you ever feel that?

Sarah Millican15:50

No, I don't think so. Um

Sarah Millican15:52

I think I just felt like it was just a thing that we were sort of going through and that there would be an end and that it would all be okay in the end. And I think my family have always been strong and able to get through things. And I also think that.

Sarah Millican16:02

If you've had no money at some point, you don't panic so much about ever going back there because you know you've done it. It's not very nice, but you did it and you managed.

Presenter16:10

Let's have another piece of music, Saramilikan. Tell me about your fourth this morning. What's this?

Sarah Millican16:14

My fourth is the theme from my favourite film, which is Thelm and Louise, and the theme is called Thunderbird and it's by Hans Zimmer.

Presenter16:23

How many times have you seen the movie?

Sarah Millican16:25

Oh, like a million. I saw it, it came out on the 12th of July 1991 and it absolutely blew my mind. I'd never seen so how old was I? I was 16. I'd never seen a film with two female protagonists before where the men were kind of incidental and it really made me want to make films. It made me want to be a film director.

Presenter17:19

Thunderbird. That was the theme from the film Thema and Louise, composed by Hans Zimmer. Cinema is a great passion of yours, Sarah. It continues to be, but but it goes way back. You used to used to write reviews, cinema reviews, he did.

Sarah Millican17:26

Yeah.

Sarah Millican17:31

I did. I'm slightly ashamed that he spake critic, considering how not very fond of them I am now. I.

Sarah Millican17:39

I started when I was 17. I wrote to a film magazine and said, Do you think I could make it as a reviewer? And they said,

Sarah Millican17:46

Yeah, probably in local papers. So I thought, good. So I approached a local newspaper who took me on. So I basically went to the cinema for four years for free, which was cool. And wrote a review and it appeared in the free paper, the one that people put down for their cat to put on. Lovely. And yeah, and loved it.

Presenter18:04

And were you working at a cinema when you met your first husband? Yes. You weren't writing reviews then, you were actually working at the end of the day.

Sarah Millican18:08

Yes.

Sarah Millican18:10

No, I was I was on the popcorn stand.

Sarah Millican18:13

and then became supervisor of the popcorn stand in only a few short months. I showed aptitude in popcorn management and absolutely loved it. Thought everybody there would be a film fan, but a lot of them weren't, which was quite odd. And I guess that's why I sort of moved towards my ex husband and also a group of others who were avid film buffs.

Presenter18:32

And you got married at 22, which for somebody of your generation is quite young. Yes. What did you think? What did you think? This is all settled now. Life is all. I know what my life's going to be.

Sarah Millican18:36

Yeah.

Sarah Millican18:39

Yeah.

Sarah Millican18:40

It you know, as far as I was concerned, he was the one.

Sarah Millican18:43

You know, done and justed. Let's get it sorted. And I saw I don't regret it.

Sarah Millican18:49

And I don't know if I'd not married him and not done the things that I did and then got divorced and all that, I might not necessarily be sitting in front of you. So

Presenter18:56

I've I've read you say that that you think you sort of s seemed to put a part of yourself on hold. You had these ideas about creativity and writing and and then suddenly you parked that.

Sarah Millican19:07

Yeah, I didn't write for two years. And it was certainly nothing to do with the relationship. It was just I think I was just enjoying being married and being in love and I think I've always I used to write as a way out of things. I used to write because I had a job I didn't like and I think I'll write myself out of this. I used to make short films and I used to get little short plays on at local theatres and things. And for two years I didn't write. I didn't have the urge. And then it came back hell for leather when I got divorced.

Presenter19:35

Which was how many years were you married for?

Sarah Millican19:37

I was married for seven.

Sarah Millican19:39

I think seven. Yes. It's good that I don't really don't really know what's missing.

Sarah Millican19:43

It came back hell for leather. Tell me what happened.

Presenter19:45

Tell me what happened.

Sarah Millican19:46

Well

Sarah Millican19:47

Because my divorce was a surprise, that sounds like he burst out of a cake. I don't mean that. It was just it was it was not expected at all. I was sort of broken and moved back in with my family who were amazing. And

Sarah Millican20:02

I saw a workshop for people who'd written but never performed. And on a day where I felt amazing, because I did have up and down, obviously, as everybody does. On one of those days, I just signed up to this workshop, and it was mostly performance poets who'd never performed before. And I did the afternoon workshop, and there was an evening performance, and I read a monologue off a bit of paper that I'd written that was shaken.

Sarah Millican20:24

And there were parts of it, and it was all about my divorce, and there were parts of it were that were painful, and parts of it that were hilarious. And I went into the ladies' loo's afterwards and jumped up and down'cause I'd done it,'cause I'd sort of ticked it off my list. And then six months later, I rang the girl who'd run the workshop and said, I think I want to try doing stand-up, and she went, I know. Like she'd been waiting the whole time.

Sarah Millican20:45

For me to ring, and she got me my first five-minute gig. And I went straight from work, had forgotten my paperwork, like all of my notes, so just had to try and remember roughly what my jokes were, which obviously made them a bit more natural, I suppose. And the first two and a half minutes nobody laughed, and then the whole room laughed on just one joke about my dad. The whole room just erupted. And it just felt like.

Sarah Millican21:06

This is what I want to do.

Presenter21:07

So much I want to ask you about. Um before that though, tell me about your fifth disc of the morning.

Sarah Millican21:12

My fifth disc is Chocolate by Snow Patrol. As far as I can gather, the actual

Sarah Millican21:18

Origin of the song is: it's about somebody who cheated on their partner. Where for me, it is about breaking out of a marriage and entering into a world of comedy where.

Sarah Millican21:28

For the first time I felt like

Sarah Millican21:31

Like I belonged and like I could be myself. And it was terrifying, but also brilliant.

Speaker 121:45

This could be the very minute I'm aware I'm alive All these places feel like home

Speaker 122:02

With a name I've never chosen I can make mine

Presenter22:08

That was Snow Patrol and Chocolate. You were talking just as you went into that piece of music, Sarah Millikan, about doing your first five minutes of stand-up. Yes. And this little gig that you'd you'd got from somebody who always knew that the call was going to come and that you really wanted to be a stand-up almost before you yourself did.

Speaker 122:16

Yes.

Speaker 122:18

You go

Presenter22:24

What about before you got the laugh? What about two and a half minutes of silence? That's a long time to be up on stage and to be getting no response.

Sarah Millican22:32

It is, but it's just it's all it is is before the laugh. So you know there's you know that now. Yeah, but at the time it was terrifying. Of course it was terrifying. I didn't even know like what I was supposed to wear. I had no idea. I knew I don't think I don't know if I knew I was funny. I knew I was funny amongst friends and I think that's different. I think I just blanked out the first two and a half minutes. I was just battling away, just desperate for this to work.

Presenter22:37

But at the time it was terrifying. It was absolutely.

Sarah Millican22:55

What made them laugh?

Sarah Millican22:57

Oh, I did a joke about my dad when I first told him that I was splitting up with my ex, because I was sitting basically on the floor crying, just, you know, snot and tears everywhere. And he said, You're bound to be upset. You've lost everything. And then there was a little pause, and he said, You've got nothing left, just as in case I was unclear. And it went from silence, and people sort of judging, because they do, because they're allowed to, they've paid money, they're supposed to judge you. And it went from silence to this woof of laughter. And I just thought, well, he doesn't love me, but all of these people do. And that is enough for me for now. What?

Presenter23:31

Yes, what because a lot of those early years of your comedy were based on what you had, this trauma that you had in the world. Talk about what you know. Yes, talk about what you know.

Sarah Millican23:35

Yeah.

Sarah Millican23:37

Yeah, talk about what you know.

Presenter23:40

What's that like to display your pain and for it to make people laugh?

Sarah Millican23:45

Oh, it's it it takes away the uh it takes away the pain, but it takes away the power.

Sarah Millican23:50

And also, I think sometimes you feel like you're alone. Nobody's ever been dumped like this. This is horrific.

Sarah Millican23:56

And then when they laugh, it's like they're saying, Oh, I've had that. Yes, that's happened to me, and you feel more like you're in a group.

Presenter24:02

You did also, I read, see a counsellor at the time. Yes. So you were in need of a need of help. Yeah, of course.

Sarah Millican24:07

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, of course. Oh, no, it wasn't. I didn't just do the comedy. I wouldn't advocate that to anybody. Just do comedy. That'll make you better. No, um, I think some people are promiscuous and some people drink a lot and, you know, however it is that they cope. But for me, I didn't particularly want to go on antidepressants. I just thought what I need to do is I need to talk it out. So I saw a counsellor who helped a lot. And I'm very vocal about how useful counseling can be. I have a theory that we're all a bit messed up, and those of us who are less messed up are those of us who've seen a counsellor.

Presenter24:40

Let's get some more music in. Tell me about this. We're on your sixth disc of the day.

Sarah Millican24:44

My sixth disc is The Frog Chorus and Paul McCartney with We All Stand Together. And this is kind of slightly inspired by Desert Island Discs because I listened to Cathy Burke's episode and she said that there was a Frank Sonatra song and it was in the order of service of a wedding that she was at and it said that everybody must sing with gusto. And I remember listening to that and had no plans to get married and I'm not religious so I wouldn't really necessarily want to sing a hymn and I thought how lovely to just go, we love this song, we want all of our friends and family to sing it, how awesome. And when I married my husband Gary, when we were sort of planning our wedding and thinking what could we pick, what could we pick that everybody would sing, he started playing this. So I started to laugh and he said listen to the lyrics and I started to cry. So we played this at our wedding and the whole congregation sang, including all of the noises. We made sure all the noises were in the order of service as well. And this is what we walked out of the wedding to.

Speaker 225:49

Or lose, sing, or swim, one thing is certain we'll never give in.

Speaker 225:58

Side by side, hand in hand, We all stand together.

Speaker 226:11

Yeah.

Speaker 226:14

Bye bye.

Presenter26:17

That was Paul McCartney with We All Stand Together, the Frog Chorus, and Sarah Millikan, I think I I can reasonably say that you may be the the only person who's ever had that sung at their wedding. And when it was playing there, you d you were going between laughter and sometimes looking like you might have been close to tears. It it still makes you emotional, does it?

Sarah Millican26:34

Yeah, I think because I oh, I'm the sort of person who doesn't really listen to lyrics. I learn them, I sing along, but that is what marriage is to me. It's no matter what happens, we'll still be here, side by side.

Presenter26:45

So a happily married night, your husband carries you. And and how did you meet?

Sarah Millican26:47

Yeah.

Sarah Millican26:50

Uh we met at my second ever gig.

Sarah Millican26:52

He was replacing somebody else, so I could quite well have married someone else. Like, I'd planned to marry whoever is at this gig, I will marry. I was my second ever gig. I was doing an open spot, it was just like the tryout spot in the middle, and the first thing he ever said to me was, You rock. And I had rocked, to be fair. So had he. We both rocked. And we sort of kept in touch, and then we just gradually fell in love.

Presenter27:15

I worry that two stand-ups is a bit like two actors in the same house. You know, if one you know, one of you's working and the other one's not getting on. Oh, I thought you mentioned it.

Sarah Millican27:18

Same with one

Sarah Millican27:21

Oh, I thought you meant just unbearable.

Presenter27:23

Uh

Sarah Millican27:23

Yeah. Uh

Presenter27:23

Both

Sarah Millican27:25

That's what two actors is.

Sarah Millican27:30

Oh, now everybody knows what I think of actors. Oh, no.

Presenter27:35

You've won plenty of awards throughout the years. You were nominated relatively recently for a BAFTA. Now, you know, these situations are often loaded because everybody's meant to be sort of smiley and happy and it's wonderful and everybody's all dressed up. And you got it in the neck at that BAFTA ceremony for what you were wearing, which was a perfectly lovely dress. Did that annoy you? Did it upset you?

Speaker 127:45

Yeah.

Sarah Millican27:46

I mean

Speaker 127:46

But it's

Sarah Millican27:50

Yeah.

Sarah Millican27:55

All of those things. I was thrilled to be there and put in the same category as, you know, like Anton Deck and Alan Carr and Graham Norton. And it was so flattering. And then to be pulled apart for something that is so unimportant seems really

Sarah Millican28:09

Odd. Say, for example, I saw somebody and I thought, ooh, she ooh, that's brave.

Sarah Millican28:14

I don't go up to her and tell her, which is exactly what Twitter and Facebook are.

Speaker 228:18

Hmm.

Sarah Millican28:18

It's just pointing somebody on tapping them on the shoulder and saying, You look rubbish. You shouldn't be wearing that. You're too fat for that. You're too ugly for that. Of course that hurts. It shouldn't matter. I'm on the red carpet because there is literally no other way into the bafters.

Sarah Millican28:33

If there was another way.

Presenter28:38

Will you be guessing a stylist for the next time you're nominating?

Sarah Millican28:40

Absolutely not. If I am nominated again, I will wear exactly the same dress again.

Presenter28:44

Will you? The same one.

Sarah Millican28:44

Yeah, because the public generally fans, nice people.

Sarah Millican28:49

Realise how unimportant it is. Am I funny? Yes. Do you care what I have on? No. As long as I'm covered, as long as nothing's hanging out.

Sarah Millican28:56

Unless I wanted to hang out. I think that's enough.

Presenter28:58

Let's have your seventh. Tell me about this, Sarah Millican.

Sarah Millican29:01

My seventh is the theme from the film Superman, which is composed by John Williams. And you know if you've got something scary to do that day, and that could be work or that could be home or that could be health or anything scary, if I put that on, I feel a little bit better about tackling something. I feel like I'm ready. And so I would play it on the way to a TV recording, I would play it on the way to a hospital visit, I would play it onto all sorts of things. Anything where I feel like I just need like a leg up.

Sarah Millican29:28

It makes me feel invincible.

Presenter30:03

Composed by John Williams, that was the theme from the film Superman and you said going into that Sarah Milliken, it's the sort of music you play to make sure that you are ready for anything.

Presenter30:12

Um your show has made your dad into a little bit of a star, and you ask him for his opinion on a particular subject. What's the best piece of advice he's given you?

Sarah Millican30:21

Um

Sarah Millican30:23

The best piece of advice he's ever given me is that there's no such thing as can't.

Sarah Millican30:27

Uh the only thing you can't do, there's only one thing you can't do, and that is um stick your bum out of your bedroom window, run downstairs into the garden and throw stones at it. Everything else is achievable.

Sarah Millican30:40

And that is great though,'cause it means everything you every time you come up against something, you think, Oh, I can't do that, you think, Well, it's not the bum and the stones thing, so it must be achievable and it's it's a pretty good attitude.

Presenter30:51

Um the years that I have watched you, I'm very conscious that in your most recent stuff you're getting better and better and better. Do you feel yourself that as you get on your writing is getting better and your comedy is becoming more substantial?

Sarah Millican31:05

If all you do is the same material and all you never write and you never learn and you never get better, then you might as well be doing nine to five in a job you don't really like. This is the best job in the world. Why wouldn't I want to make it as good as it can possibly be?

Presenter31:18

That relationship that is clearly crucial to you professionally and maybe even personally between you and the audience you will be all alone on the island. How will you be without an audience in your life?

Sarah Millican31:28

Well, I'm not very good at not being applauded regularly, I've realized. I like a good clap. Um

Sarah Millican31:35

I recently had some time off of the summer, and therefore nobody told me I was funny every day. And my husband laughs, but it's not the same as like two thousand people.

Sarah Millican31:43

So I had to get used to that. But I think if there's any animals that could be trained to clap.

Sarah Millican31:52

Then they would be the ones that I wouldn't eat.

Presenter31:53

Tell me about your final then. What are we gonna hear, your final disc?

Sarah Millican31:56

My final disc is Homeward Bound by Simon and Garfunkel and

Sarah Millican32:01

When I'm building a boat, this is the thing that would keep home in my eye just to remind me of what I'm striving for and what I need to get back to and where I ultimately belong and I'm happiest.

Speaker 232:11

I'm sitting in the railway station Got a ticket for my destination

Speaker 232:23

On a tour of one night stands My suitcase and guitar in hand And every stop is neatly planned For a poet and a one-man band

Speaker 232:34

Homeward bound.

Speaker 232:37

Our shadows hold

Presenter32:41

Goodbye.

Presenter32:43

Hmm.

Presenter32:44

That was Simon Garfunkel and Homeward Bound. So, Sarah Millikan, the moment has arrived when I give you the books, you get the Bible and the complete works of Shakespeare, and you get to take another book along with you. What's it going to be?

Sarah Millican32:55

I'd like a survival book by Bear Grylls or or Anna. They're just basically something that tells me how to build a boat and how to like drink my wee. And I know I have to do these things because I'm determined to get off the island. And I think a book to help would be good.

Presenter33:06

Guy.

Presenter33:08

And I think

Presenter33:10

That's yours, then, and a luxury too.

Sarah Millican33:13

Can I have notebooks and pens? Yeah, yeah. Because I think writing would stop me going mad. And then when I did get off, which I will.

Sarah Millican33:21

I would already have like a show written?

Sarah Millican33:23

And ready to try out in front of audiences?

Presenter33:25

Okay, that's curious. And if you had to save just one track, which one would it be?

Sarah Millican33:30

It would be Superman, only because I can sing most of the others, and I think that's that's the truck that would get me out of bed every day.

Presenter33:38

It's yours. Thank you. Sarah Milligan, thank you very much for letting us hear your desert island discs. What an honour. Thank you very much.

Presenter34:24

You've been listening to a download from the BBC. You'll find more information on the Radio 4 website: bbc.co.uk slash Radio4.