Tony Adams

Presenter0:00

Hello, I'm Kirsty Young. Thank you for downloading this podcast of Desert Island Discs from BBC Radio 4. For rights reasons the music choices are shorter than in the radio broadcast.

Presenter0:10

For more information about the programme, please visit bbc.co.uk slash radio four.

Presenter0:33

My castaway this week is the footballer Tony Adams. He's one of just a very few who know at first hand the pressures and joys of captaining the England team. And as a club player he's the only man ever to have led a championship winning side across three decades. Now as a coach he's about to head off on a new journey to Azerbaijan, where he plans to spend a decade creating, he says, the Tony Adams side.

Presenter0:58

He has lived a life of two halves sorry about that. True, his sporting success is legendary, but so too was his addiction to the booze. He even spent time in prison for drink driving. Yet his journey of recovery is as remarkable as anything he ever managed on the pitch.

Presenter1:13

Aside from developing a love of literature, the arts, and education, he's poured his own cash into a pioneering charity that helps fellow sportsmen and women recover from addiction.

Presenter1:23

It's a transformation that former teammates have described as heroic.

Presenter1:28

He says of himself, I'm a completely different guy. The old Tony Adams had a lot of good stuff in him as well, but I wouldn't go anywhere near him if he'd had a drink.

Presenter1:37

He used to be full of self-loathing.

Presenter1:39

But I quite like myself to day.

Presenter1:41

So much in there, but let's start of course with the World Cup, Tony Adams. Millions of people tuning in. I'm guessing you're among them. Are you watching most of the matches?

Tony Adams1:48

I'm it's good to be here and and thank you for that. That was lovely. Yeah, I'm catching bits and pieces. It's fun. I sit there and watch it with the kids and uh w it's very entertaining.

Presenter1:58

Um the big World Cup question of course that that uh all of us are pondering on right now is are you for or against the Vuvuzela? Should it be there or not be there?

Tony Adams2:06

I've not noticed it. I did speak to her. You've not noticed it. You know, well, I look at a game differently. Right. More often than not, the sand's off, anyway. You've got to form your own opinion. I've shut off to the commentators a long time ago, and even the punditries. Tournaments are very difficult. When you're trying to win the prize, I think the statistics are that the winners have only won five of the seven games. You know, so you're allowed to have a few games where you don't particularly do well, but you have to have the mentality to progress. You know, there was moments of last World Cups where we've snapped into gear. You know, at any moment you can snap into gear.

Presenter2:48

One last question. When you've been knocked out of the World Cup, what's it like on the journey home?

Tony Adams2:53

Horrific, absolutely horrific. I got a lot of criticism in 1988 and I remember coming back into Luton Airport and being chased by a load of, there were three coaches parked of England supporters and they chased me and I legged it and I won Fiat Uno Young Player of the Year in those days. I had a little Fiat Uno and I legged it to the car and sped away but it was horrific enough that the public was all on my case. But the type of character that I am, we won the league the next year. You know, I focused in on that and I said, right, okay, I'm going to prove to all you guys, actually, I'm a good player. And I said that to Bex actually after 98 after he got sent off and I said to Bex when he was in tears in the changing rooms, I said, all you can do now, it's gone, it's finished, you know, we're out, this is my last opportunity and you blew it for me, thanks Dave. But now what you can do is go back to your club and win the league for Man United and do your best for theirs. That's all you can do. And I think they did the buggers.

Presenter3:52

Let's have some music then and tell me Tony Adams what we're going to hear first of all today.

Tony Adams3:56

Uh we've got Earth Wind and Five and Let's Groove, it's the first record ever bought. I did, I I got fifty P in those days and I got Staten Kidney Pie and Chips and ten pence bus fare home. So I didn't get the bus home for a few weeks and I saved up and I walked down Oxo Lane in Dagnum. There's a new record shop that just opened and I bought it's kind of funky too man.

Presenter4:01

You've saved up your pocket money to the other.

Tony Adams4:18

Ha ha ha.

Speaker 34:22

Share the spot tonight

Speaker 34:30

We're gonna pull the line

Speaker 34:35

Look at screw, get the temple before

Speaker 34:40

Oh God.

Speaker 34:43

Let us grow, send it your shoes further alright.

Presenter4:49

That was Earth, Wind and Fire, and Let's Groove. So, Tony Adams, we'll look at your family, if we may, way back. First of all, your parents. What was their story? Where did they come from?

Tony Adams4:58

Uh working class, the East End. Yeah, my father he was uh evacuated during the war up to the north east and after the war had finished come back to the east end with a northern accent and uh his family disowned him because of it and threw him out of the house. And uh uh my my grandfather was a very cruel man.

Presenter5:16

Yeah, that seems a particularly harsh judgment.

Tony Adams5:18

Yeah, he would do things like the the Sunday dinner for instance, it fueled by alcohol I think, a lot of it. But five brothers and and a sister uh my dad had and uh they'd sit around the dining room uh table on a Sunday lunch and if anyone moved he had a bunch of keys sitting on the side of the table and he if anyone spoke or done anything out of turn and the bunch of keys would come hurtling towards your face. So and he came up my father with a knife. So my dad got um out of there pretty uh rapid. He met my mother over Victoria Park showing off uh when they were about fifteen. Uh and that was it. Moved in with my mother's family.

Presenter5:55

Yes, he was sort of taken in by them at Coke.

Tony Adams5:57

Yeah, yeah, he went me mum kinda saved in my mum's family.

Presenter6:00

You were you were the youngest child of how of how many siblings did you have?

Tony Adams6:03

Three, two older sisters. Two older sisters. So my dad worked morning, noon, and night. He's on the lorries. We didn't see a lot of him. My mother was the rock. She always tells a story. She said, I stayed with my dad and married him because, one, he didn't knock her about, and he worked hard and brought home and gave him the money. So, you know, she said, I was on a winner here, you know. And they stayed together for all their life. And so, as the youngest of three and the only boy, how were you treated? I was sport rotten. I was completely sport rotten. I was the.

Presenter6:05

So

Tony Adams6:33

The golden child, and especially because I could keep the ball up many, many times. When was that discovered?

Presenter6:38

When was that discovered, your ability with the wall?

Tony Adams6:39

Well, I started at six and my father was still playing. My father thought he was better than me. Could head the ball better than me, I'll be fair to him. One of my first memories standing over Hackney Marshes, watching my dad play central defender, centre-back, heading it, kicking it, raining so hard and I was so cold and so frozen, but I wasn't moving. And the whole team picked me up at the end of the game and put me in the showers to thaw me out. So I got my sister to take me to Romford Juniors, and that was my first club. I was quite physically a tall boy, even at that age, at six, so I could play for the Under Nines. Who said, and when did they see it?

Presenter7:18

Hold on a minute, that young leg told me you knew.

Tony Adams7:20

I knew six. Did you? I knew in internally. I knew that this was for me. I couldn't vocalise it at that point, but inside I knew that that this was for me.

Presenter7:22

Which is

Presenter7:29

Divs

Presenter7:31

And even at six it was it was there.

Tony Adams7:33

Yeah, there was an internal something. I knew that I was good at this. Driven. I'm totally and utterly driven.

Tony Adams7:40

Let's take a break for some music.

Tony Adams7:43

Oh wow, this is for my mother. Like I say, they they completely give up their lives really and they loved every minute of my career. Absolutely loved every minute of it and they gave so much support, really did, so much support and my mother passed away with bone cancer in 2000 which was extremely, extremely painful.

Presenter8:06

Yeah, that's a devastating

Tony Adams8:07

That's a devastating.

Tony Adams8:11

Wow, I'm going. So it's for my mother, it's Sweet Caroline Neil Dynamo.

Speaker 38:22

Good times never seem so good

Speaker 38:28

I've been in twice.

Speaker 38:33

To believe that never was but now I

Speaker 38:41

Look at the night

Presenter8:43

That was Neil Diamond and Sweet Caroline. You you said going into that, Tony Adams, that your parents enjoyed every minute of your playing career, and indeed that was chosen for the memory of your mother. Um what about school? Did they make you do your lessons? Were you?

Tony Adams8:57

No, not really. I had the worst attendance at my school. I used to make out every Monday morning that I was uh a little bit unwell and by the time it was eleven o'clock I was up over the park and uh kicking the ball against a brick wall, so my education definitely suffered. My teachers used to say actually, uh Tony Adams at school, he must be games lesson.

Presenter9:18

Did you did you like school? I mean, or just

Tony Adams9:20

No, it frightened me to death, to be honest with you. I was completely as a child I was so scared. Um What were you scared of? Oh, everything. And fear still plays a big part of my life, but fear, uh, insecure. I I didn't like the way I looked, I didn't like the way I felt.

Tony Adams9:35

A very insecure boy, uh very sensitive.

Presenter9:39

You see, I would think, obviously mistakenly, that if somebody is very good at something, especially like football, that everybody wants to be good at, then that gives you a stasis in school. It didn't?

Tony Adams9:49

I certainly didn't feel it. They they did, I think, from the outside. But if one area, the football arena, I felt comfortable with. But you put me in a classroom, I'm lost, you know. And I used to have panic attacks when they used to in reading lessons and the book would go round. I think I was terrified. I was having a complete breakdown. Panic and my heart was thumping. Oh no, I've got to read, I've got to read. So I lived in a little bit of a fantasy world. I was a big liar. You know, I kind of made up stories. I had no life at all, and I wasn't educated or learning in that area.

Presenter10:20

Yeah.

Presenter10:23

It it's fascinating to hear you say this, especially because well, I mean right now you're studying for a PhD and you have other qualifications of course prior to that. I mean what happened when you went back to education

Tony Adams10:33

What happened to school? I didn't want to be at school during you know, my schooling days, it you came at the wrong time for me, you know. I wanted to be a footballer.

Presenter10:39

Yeah.

Presenter10:41

And so you and your parents knew, of course, that football was the life for you, and it came down to I mean, was it a case of trialling for different clubs, or did you have your pick of them?

Tony Adams10:50

I had me pick of'em. Yeah, when I was about thirteen I I I went round all the clubs and had a look.

Presenter10:55

With your dad?

Tony Adams10:55

With my dad, I've got he was he went and uh got his coaching qualification. He wanted if he was going to teach me, he wanted to teach me properly. He saw how addicted I was to the game.

Presenter11:06

And you say that your father t took what you interestingly described as your addiction to football very seriously, very early on, and and he learned to coach, and your your mum and dad were devoted to this idea that it was your future. What what about your sisters in all of this? Did they think they were cheerleaders? They didn't think Tony was getting too much attention?

Tony Adams11:20

He didn't think

Tony Adams11:23

I'm sure they did. I'm sure they've got massive resentments towards me, massive resentments. But, you know, it was a maybe a family joke. I couldn't do nothing wrong. And it you know, going forward into my drinking days, I don't know why I keep bringing it up, but it was part of my life. Um, you know, when I used to weed the bed and things like this, drinking too much alcohol, she used to enable me, you know, she used to put the mattress out the window to dry it. Her son couldn't do nothing wrong.

Speaker 311:47

Yeah.

Tony Adams11:52

You know, instead of saying, I'm in tone, you've got a real problem here. I would do it with my children today, you see. You know, they didn't know no better, so I'm not having a co-op. They love me.

Tony Adams12:02

and did the best that they could. So and you know, when I went to prison, for instance, as well, they were the ones I felt really sorry for. I was stuck in a prison and I was out of the way, but they had to to deal with the uh you know, the shame and the and the disgrace I brought upon their family.

Presenter12:17

So much more of the story to come, for now that it's time for music. Tell me what's next. We're on track three.

Tony Adams12:22

I'm a massive Paul Weller fan, apart from him supporting Chelsea. I got my Sound Effect album signed for my 40th birthday. Thanks Paul. There was a big mod revival in 1978 when I was at school, when I was at Little Boy Lost making up stories. I thought I was the boy about town. And this is The Boy About Town by Jam.

Speaker 312:42

See me walking around on the boy back town and you're hello

Speaker 312:48

See me walking the streets on the top of the well that you heard of.

Speaker 312:54

I glide downstream to go to finally come to rest But someone picks you upstream downstream and puts you in the

Presenter13:10

That was the jam and boy about town. Tony Adams, as a boy about town, what would you have been sporting when you were listening to the jam? What would you have been wearing?

Tony Adams13:17

I got it. Yeah. Well, I I I like the smart aspect of the the mod kind of hush puppy. I've got a pair on today. Hush puppies and uh I had a boating jacket and stay pressed. I fell into that category.

Presenter13:19

Yeah.

Tony Adams13:33

Uh

Presenter13:33

Um of course it would suit you being that sort of style. It's quite an ob sort of obsessive particular style, I'm thinking. No, I mean obviously physically it would suit you, but I'm thinking, you know, the stay press and the jacket and the button down shirt is precisely. Sharp. Yeah. Sharp. Organized.

Tony Adams13:33

Um of

Tony Adams13:36

Thank you.

Speaker 113:38

Uh

Tony Adams13:38

I'm thinking.

Tony Adams13:43

It's precise. Sharp, yeah. Sharp, organized, yeah, perfectionist. Yeah, you're an obsessive.

Presenter13:49

Yeah, you're an obsession.

Tony Adams13:52

Yeah, I like things, yeah. I can let go today uh on certain things, but yeah.

Presenter13:56

But

Presenter13:56

I'm thinking of of David Beckham here, because of course he has, if if I can use the word confessed, it seems a little melodramatic, to having those well, not now, but a few years ago he said, Yeah, you know, I like all the towels to be straight in the bathroom and the the tins in a line in the larder, you know, he's

Tony Adams14:04

Uh

Tony Adams14:09

Ten is in a

Tony Adams14:11

They've got some flash word for it today, haven't they? I can't remember what they eat all day. I've got millions of those, so don't worry about that.

Presenter14:13

I've got millions of those.

Tony Adams14:17

We was comparing with Gaza on the plane in 98 before the World Cup. We were comparing how many he was got and how many I've got. But I was going to say. How many what? How many what? OCDs. You had to go three on that side, three on that side, uh touch his head three times, squint. So what are you? I was a nervous. What did I have? I did your or the neck goes. Did you hear that? That was good for radio. So used to do neck, under arches, under ladders, these type of things, you know.

Presenter14:23

How many what? How many what?

Presenter14:31

I was in the

Presenter14:36

For radio

Presenter14:37

Click connect.

Tony Adams14:42

Right.

Presenter14:44

It's hard work, isn't it?

Tony Adams14:44

It's hard work, isn't it?

Presenter14:48

And is it true you signed for Arsenal on your fourteenth birthday, is that right?

Tony Adams14:51

Exactly that.

Presenter14:52

Schoolboy phones.

Tony Adams14:54

Uh

Presenter14:54

Uh

Speaker 314:54

Yeah.

Presenter14:54

It's every father's dream, really, to have the the football star son. Um was he giving you advice about your playing? Was he still giving you sort of coaching tips or or did he sort of hand you over to the club?

Tony Adams15:03

He stepped back and let the coaches do their stuff and because it be became a profession, as soon as I left school, as quickly as I could, he he went, Well, this is a job now, this is grown up. Occasionally he would whisper something in my ear and uh I always listened. I might not have showed it, but

Speaker 315:13

But

Tony Adams15:21

I always listened.

Presenter15:22

But where was the drinking and all of this? Did did you start drinking?

Tony Adams15:24

No, nothing really. The first time I ever boosted, I broke my foot when I was 17. I broke my fifth metatarsal and a guy around the corner in Park Street. He put me in plaster, and for six weeks I, in that period, done a lot of alcoholic drinking. About 11 o'clock every day, because I couldn't go out and play football. And that was the drug that I loved. It was my life, you know, it fulfilled me. But I couldn't get that, and I had the plaster on and the crutches, and it got to about 11 and 12. So this is 11 in the morning. 11 in the morning, and I'd feeling really insecure and scared and frightened and panicky, really. And I thought, and I used to hobble up the local pub and get smashed.

Speaker 315:44

Yeah.

Speaker 115:44

Perfect.

Presenter15:56

So this is 11 in the morning.

Presenter16:10

So it was your late teens and when your your foot mended and you were back playing, the drinking then just was part of your life. Was it you just sort of combined it with training and from the seven

Tony Adams16:17

Exactly that. From the 17 when I used it, really suppressed the feelings, really. I think that period I didn't know about girls. I've got to say this, my first ever girl experience. I was 15, 14, and I'm keeping the ball up on my head, and I'm like one, two, three, and I wanted to do hundreds on my head. But anyway, this girl's come past my house with her mate, two girls, and the other girl said, She wants to go out with you. So I put my ball down and I put it on the drive. We walked round the block, kissed her.

Tony Adams16:49

And then she turned round and went, I don't want to go with you any more. Oh But then it which sums me up completely. I got the ball and I put it back on my head and I did a hundred. So and around girls in that period, it was just so cripplingly painful.

Speaker 316:51

Oh,

Presenter16:52

Uh

Tony Adams17:03

I just didn't know how to deal with life outside of football. So I so I drunk.

Presenter17:10

Let's have some music then. What have we got next?

Tony Adams17:12

Central line, I'm walking into sunshine, but I joined Arsenal as a professional in 1983. The black guys at the club, Michael Thomas and Dave Rocast, have got me into a new underground kind of movement that was really cool and different, and no one back at school kind of knew. They kind of thought I was a bit cool and a bit different, but I probably won't.

Speaker 317:34

Get away from the rush. I gotta get away from the rush. Call the week if the cold is cheap. I don't spend my way when the sun always shines.

Speaker 317:51

Yes, I'll be walking at the sun to shine

Speaker 317:56

Give me the sign.

Presenter18:04

That was Central Line and walking into sunshine. Tony Adams, I mentioned in the introduction, and indeed you mentioned a moment ago as well, that you served time in prison for drink driving. Did you smash into a wall at seventy miles an hour? The judge said I was out of control for the length of a football pitch, Mr Adams.

Speaker 118:13

If

Tony Adams18:13

Yeah.

Tony Adams18:15

Is it?

Tony Adams18:19

Yeah, I was going to Singapore on tour with the Arsenal team, but I was in Raleigh in Essex, and it was the last game of the season on the Saturday, the day before. Obviously, when football finished during those days, I got drunk, and then l obviously not left myself enough time to get to the airport.

Tony Adams18:40

Got in the car, went straight over an A road.

Tony Adams18:43

And I kind of remember looking back going, Jesus Christ, I've just crossed an A road there and completely lost control. And it was over in seconds. It went bash, bash, bash and ended up over this brick wall and the rest is history.

Presenter18:57

For a lot of people that might have been the wake-up call. Why why was it not for me?

Tony Adams19:03

You're getting to know me, but people that do know me know that I'm quite insular and quite a loner.

Presenter19:05

Turn

Speaker 119:05

Yeah.

Tony Adams19:11

And prison was I got a little bit of spulp, little bit of exercise three times a day. I dropped about seven, eight pound. Muscles coming out of here, eating well, sleeping well, reading a couple of books of an evening, bit of bit of mind, and on my own I loved it when that door shut. It was heaven.

Tony Adams19:32

I know you're you're shaking your head here, but uh for some people the outside world was scary. In there, I was happy.'Cause my world, don't forget, outside was hell.

Presenter19:43

Who came to visit you?

Tony Adams19:44

Gary Lewin, fitness coach.

Presenter19:46

Do Mom and Dad come?

Tony Adams19:48

Can't remember them. I'm sure they did. I know there was a tearful thing at the courtroom. I met my mum and dad before I got um taken away to the prison.

Tony Adams19:58

And that was that was tough. And I I think I tried to say sorry. I remember my father came round my kitchen uh one one one day I remember and he sat in my kitchen and said T Ton they're calling you a drunk. You know, you're you're a drunk boy. Um

Presenter20:18

What did you say to him?

Tony Adams20:20

I kinda knew. I didn't say a word. But I didn't stop drinking. I didn't know how to stay stopped. Yeah, I didn't know at that period of my life.

Tony Adams20:28

What I must say, when I did sober up and I took my mother and father out to make amends and to say sorry, that.

Tony Adams20:37

It was funny because my father turned round and went, I won't have it. I won't have it.

Tony Adams20:42

I said, what are you talking about, Dad? He said, you know, they said you had a problem with boots. You were fine. I don't know what they're talking about. So.

Tony Adams20:49

But I couldn't do anything in their eyes. I don't think so.

Presenter20:53

But maybe he was happy to have that conversation with you in private, but I won't have it. People on the outside criticise it.

Tony Adams20:57

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Presenter20:59

Let's have some music, Tony. What are we going to hear now?

Tony Adams21:01

Oh well I I've been shipping around for um football songs. Arsenal were part of my life from seventy nine to two thousand and two and uh that's probably the longest relationship I've ever had with any anything or anybody. So it's the Arsenal's nineteen seventy one squad, the and good old Arsenal out begunners.

Speaker 121:15

Yeah.

Speaker 321:26

They also

Speaker 321:32

We're proud to say thy name.

Speaker 321:37

While we sing this song, we'll win the game While we sing this song, we'll win again

Presenter21:50

That was Arsenal's nineteen seventy one squad and good old Arsenal. If there's anybody who could get away with choosing that as one of their eight, it is you, Tony Adams. You've played for England and you've captained England. How much more pressure is there when you you go out there as captain?

Tony Adams22:05

I got more pressure when I wasn't captain. I wasn't captain Turin ninety eight. Listen, I I did my best and I acted like I was captain anyway, but I just thought that I could have given more. I see I'd always been captain, I'd always been the leader as it were. So i I struggle, I struggle when I'm not. I think uh such is my character.

Presenter22:25

Of course, you were England's team captain during Euro ninety six. I'm sure most people listening will remember the moment. Twenty four million people watching here, and they were watching England lose to Germany in the semi finals in a penalty shootout. How did you personally deal with the the devastation of losing?

Tony Adams22:43

Well, I drunk. I junked for the next six odd weeks. Ending up on the 16th of August was my last drink. There was a big significant change for me in the January of that year, 96. It was the first time in my life that I didn't want to drink and I was finding myself drunk. That was the big shift for me. In January, my wife was in treatment. My mother-in-law had come round and took the kids off of me. My park bench was my sofa. You know, it was a mess. I couldn't blame anybody. I couldn't blame the wife, my family, the this or the football, the fame, or whatever. I couldn't blame anything else. I stayed sober through the Euro 96, just focusing on football. That was my only thing. I thought, right, that's it. I just, what we call in the term, white knuckling it. Yeah, that's what I was saying.

Speaker 123:15

Yeah.

Presenter23:30

Yeah, that's what I so you weren't drinking at all.

Tony Adams23:31

I weren't thinking it during the tournament. No, personally, inside, I was kind of. I was scared. We went to Hong Kong. I prepared myself physically. The lads all went to the famous dentist's chair. I stayed trapped in my hotel room. And the dentist's jair is when the guys were and they got a lot of criticism for it at the time. Absolutely. There were even pictures in the press. I was in the trap.

Presenter23:46

And the dentist chairs when the guys were and they got a lot of criticism for it at the time that they were even pictured in the press strapped in the chair, pints down the neck.

Tony Adams23:53

Yeah, I I I knew that if I had gone with them then there was no way I was going to play the tournament because I'd been gone again.

Presenter23:54

Yeah.

Presenter23:57

Mm.

Presenter23:59

Right.

Presenter24:00

Yeah. Yeah.

Tony Adams24:01

Yeah.

Presenter24:01

For most people six days would be a binge, but you go on this six-week binge and and where where does it lead you at the end? What happen?

Tony Adams24:05

Time.

Tony Adams24:08

Most I I can't remember a lot of blackouts in there. I can't remember most of it. A lot of time wet in the bed and uh yeah, the pig sty witch was home, you know, passing out, getting up and going to drink again.

Presenter24:08

Must I

Presenter24:20

And that leads us neatly to this track that you've chosen today to tell me why you've chosen the squeeze track.

Tony Adams24:24

Oh, well, you're right. Well, you're very good at your job. You've led me in very well. Yeah, it's a particular record. When I was at the end of my drinking, and I couldn't get this record out of my head, I was so paranoid. There was things come out of the cupboard, to be honest with you. What do you mean, hallucinations? Yeah, hallucinations. I was pretty screwed up. On one occasion, I didn't wake up. I think I used to come to in those days. And I went downstairs and I went to take this record off. I thought it was playing and it wasn't playing. You know, it was just going around in my head over and over again. And my first wife at that stage had just left me, and I actually drove drunk down to a treatment centre. I'm not particularly proud of this stuff, it's just where I was in my stage in my life. I threw her into the treatment centre. She was a crack addict at that stage. And I said, get in at a treatment centre and sort yourself out. But, you know, she cleaned up before me. I was still drinking and she said, I don't want to be with you anymore. And at the time, it was devastating. It was actually the best thing she could have ever done for me. But at the time, really painful. So this record, nice happy tune. But it's great. It's a great song, to be honest with you, irrespective of what was going on in my head.

Presenter24:27

I'll do my best.

Presenter24:39

What do you mean, hallucinations? Yeah.

Speaker 124:53

Yeah.

Speaker 325:43

A stain on my knob says nothing to me

Speaker 325:52

Oh, that is gone.

Speaker 325:57

Come out with all the friends I wouldn't

Speaker 326:03

Full lips full of passion

Speaker 326:08

Coffee Ed

Presenter26:12

That was squeeze and black coffee in bed, as you say, brings back lots of memories, most of them not too good at all, Tony Adams. But we shall move on. I mean, let's talk about this clinic for sportsmen and women.

Tony Adams26:21

Sportsman

Presenter26:22

Who are recovering addicts of of any sort, is it? It could be drugs, it could be gambling, it could be alcohol.

Speaker 126:25

Uh

Tony Adams26:26

Drugs it could be

Speaker 126:26

Yeah.

Tony Adams26:28

Yeah, different flavours. Different flavours. So it's all the same thing.

Presenter26:30

So it's all the same thing.

Tony Adams26:31

Right.

Presenter26:33

Yeah.

Tony Adams26:35

I'm very proud of it. I'm really proud of it. It's 10 years old this year. I had 25 years football with Arsenal, and then this came about. I got sober in 96, and by the time I'd been a couple of years sober, people were starting to say, Well, how you're doing it? How you doing it? What's happening? And people were asking me, so I thought, well, how do I do it? What do I do? And the clinic.

Presenter26:57

And the clinic the clinic has funded how?

Tony Adams27:00

Uh well at the start um

Tony Adams27:04

I wrote the book Addicted, which I'm also very proud of. It's used to Tony Adams' Day. They give me a quarter of a million for that, which I gave to the charity. So it funded it. So at the start, I funded it. Now, I must say, I think it's six years the PFA have been all. They fully support us now, 100%, financially as well. And we wouldn't be here without the PFA's help. They are magnificent. They're ex-professionals. If you've played football at any level, you know, even if you play for Huddersfield in Div 2 for six months, they will stick you through the sporting chance.

Speaker 127:13

So at the start

Speaker 127:26

That's the potential for the mm-hmm.

Tony Adams27:38

If you've got a problem.

Presenter27:38

Okay.

Presenter27:39

Um how can we have come this far and not mentioned Poppy? Oh my god.

Tony Adams27:42

Oh my god, I'm under orders to make sure that I'm really nice about Poppy. Poppy and you've got to be.

Presenter27:49

Yeah.

Presenter27:52

Can you not be

Tony Adams27:53

I love her to death. I th I've got so much respect. She's an exceptional woman. How long have you been married? Really exceptional. Good question. To married six. Married six years. Together for eight.

Presenter27:53

I don't know.

Presenter27:56

How long have you been married?

Presenter28:03

Together.

Tony Adams28:06

It feels like forever. But that's in a good way. Yes. A good way. It's just so but I got very, very lucky. Very lucky indeed. Like I say, she is uh a rare person that is very emotionally intelligent. And from talking to an emotional cripple here and uh

Presenter28:08

That's uncontrollable, yes.

Tony Adams28:27

Very balanced, and I strive for balance today. And she's just so together.

Tony Adams28:33

I think

Presenter28:33

Yeah.

Tony Adams28:33

You have

Presenter28:33

Of three children together. You're a father of five. When she took you home to meet mum and dad. Yeah.

Tony Adams28:41

Uh I won't skip you all the stories.

Presenter28:43

But they delight us.

Tony Adams28:44

It's a different different me and Poppy are very different upbringings. I remember first Christmas I ever went round there and just spending the afternoon just crying in in bed thinking, God, they're so lovely, this family.

Tony Adams28:58

It's so like they talk to each other. It's just so amazing. I want to be part of that.

Presenter29:02

His family, it's lovely.

Presenter29:05

And is that the tone you try and set within your own family now?

Tony Adams29:08

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I think so. I'm I've had a lot of time at home recently as well, so um I'm super dad.

Presenter29:16

And so Super Dad is is carting his wife and three children.

Tony Adams29:16

Yeah.

Tony Adams29:18

Yeah

Presenter29:20

Failure?

Presenter29:21

Superdad is carting his his wife and three children off to Azerbaijan. How was Paul?

Tony Adams29:25

Yeah, I wouldn't have done it without their permission.

Presenter29:30

That's quite an adventure.

Tony Adams29:31

Well, exactly that. Adventure's the right word. It's the right time. My son's just doing his A-levels, the 18-year-old, and he's going to go travelling. My fifteen-year-old's at boarding school. She's going to come out for holidays and she's fine. The three youngest are that. They're young and the schooling's going to be absolutely fine, tutor, and I think they're going to do a couple of terms. Back in the UK, for me, it's a no-brainer. There's a group of guys that need to be coached, need to be led. They've just said to me, Go and build a football club, which is extremely exciting. And the wife said, let's go for it.

Presenter30:07

Let's have some music.

Presenter30:08

Number seven now.

Tony Adams30:09

Oh this is for my darling poppy. Um uh she walked up the aisle uh in two thousand and four uh to this and uh uh share bikeer and uh I've never been in love before.

Speaker 330:28

In love before

Speaker 330:33

No,

Speaker 330:36

What's that too?

Speaker 330:40

It's you for

Speaker 330:45

Really?

Presenter30:51

That was Chet Baker and I've Never Been in Love Before. So, Tony Adams, your parents of course lived to see you sober, and I'm sure must have been very proud of that. But they they didn't live to meet Poppy, they hadn't met your three

Speaker 130:59

Are they

Presenter31:03

Youngest children, that must be difficult given how far you've come in your life, that your parents didn't see that part of your life.

Tony Adams31:03

Youngest

Tony Adams31:11

No, I I I don't see it that way. I I think um it it would have been l lovely and my father and mother were Tony Adams fans, you know, so um anything I did was good enough for them.

Speaker 331:23

Yeah.

Tony Adams31:28

They know me better than anybody.

Tony Adams31:32

Um

Tony Adams31:33

I got uh loads of, you know, time with them. I had four years sober with my mother, six years with my father. Um I made a lot of amends. We there was a I

Speaker 331:38

But remind me.

Speaker 331:44

Well it does.

Tony Adams31:44

Bought a place in the south of France, and I did it with my dad. We built it.

Speaker 331:49

Yeah.

Tony Adams31:49

You know, and the closest that I've ever got to my father. You know, on his deathbed I shook his hand. He looked, Listen, you're gonna make me go again, but we loved each other, you know, we just loved each other.

Tony Adams32:01

Please move on.

Presenter32:01

I will. I want to ask you.

Tony Adams32:04

I'm a tough big guy, you come on.

Presenter32:06

Yeah, it's funny that, isn't it? Because there you are, tough big guy. Handsome big guy. Oh, I like the handsome big guy. It's flirty.

Tony Adams32:12

It's convertible that you Uh

Presenter32:14

You s you mentioned a minute ago fear. How can this high achieving, talented, sporting hero who has turned his life around be still propelled by a sort of fear?

Tony Adams32:26

Well, it I I like to think that I'm not.

Tony Adams32:30

Motivated by fair today.

Presenter32:33

Uh

Tony Adams32:33

But fear is still with me. All these feelings don't go away because I just don't suppress them anymore. They're still with me. So fear is a big one.

Presenter32:43

And what about you? You also described yourself a little while ago as, you know, I'm an insular guy.

Tony Adams32:48

You don't

Presenter32:50

I'm I'm imagining, of course I'm I'm putting on a desert island, as you know, I'm imagining maybe a little bit of you quite like the isolation.

Tony Adams32:55

Oh, fantastic. Bobby wants it you know, sh she thinks it's my dream. You know, this is this is where you know, no people. It's perfect. Absolutely perfect. I'm I'm in heaven. You see? She my wife wants me to get there and and I want to go there.

Presenter33:06

I'm

Presenter33:11

Your status has made you, you know, the centre of attention. You walk into a room and the room changes,'cause I'll tell you what, Tony Adams has just come in. Is that quite different? Yeah, do you not notice that?'Cause I think for somebody who's maybe quite insular and quite shy, that's especially different.

Tony Adams33:18

Is that quite different?

Tony Adams33:24

Oh no, no, no. I'm very comfortable with who I am today. Right. And you know, that's a massive shift. So I've said a lot about Alcoholics Anonymous today, but just talking about humility is difficult. It doesn't make you very humble talking about it. But I try to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God. You know, that's what I live by. So that's it's in a nutshell. Really, I shouldn't say anything else, but that's what I try and do today.

Presenter33:27

Rice

Presenter33:51

Seems a good time then to ask you for your final disc. What are we gonna hear?

Tony Adams33:54

Wow, exactly. And I'm sure maybe this has been done before. But Monty Python always looks on the bright side of life. There is a story behind this, and it's my great it's very up proper now, the chairman, Mr Noel Quinn, sorry, of Sunderland's chairman, so I have to be very respectful here. But we were great buddies, and I think we had more than one or two beers up and down the Olloway Road. He's a really cool guy, but after the one that we lost in 88, the League Cup, I went back to and I stayed in his flat in Enfield and he introduced me to the film Life of Brian, and we must have watched it about three hundred times that evening, and it just makes me smile.

Speaker 134:11

BING

Speaker 134:35

Always look on the bright side of life.

Speaker 134:43

Always look on the light side of life.

Speaker 134:51

If life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten.

Speaker 134:55

And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.

Speaker 134:58

When you're feeling in the dumps, dump me silly chumps. Just purse your lips and whistle. That's the thing.

Presenter35:06

Monty Python and always look on the bright side of life. So, Tony, it's the point at which I'm going to give you some books. I will give you the Bible and the complete works of Shakespeare, and you're allowed to take your own books.

Tony Adams35:12

And I kidded.

Tony Adams35:16

The book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Um the big blue book um would be the one. Thank you very much. Enough to keep me occupied.

Presenter35:20

Do you want to

Presenter35:23

Okay. It's yours, and a luxury as well, to make life a little more bearable.

Tony Adams35:26

Football. Yeah.

Presenter35:27

Uh

Tony Adams35:27

Uh

Presenter35:27

Really?

Tony Adams35:27

What did you expect? Hours and hours. Back to that girl when I was keeping it on my head and trying to do a hundred. Maybe I'll have time to do a thousand, who knows?

Presenter35:37

Yeah. It's yours, a football. Um and if you had to choose just one of these eight discs to save from uh to save from the waves, which one would it be?

Tony Adams35:46

I've just got a a Monty Python, the one we've just played, I think. Yeah, it just it'll keep me going, I think.

Presenter35:48

Really?

Presenter35:51

Okay. Tony Adams, thank you very much for letting us hear your desert island discs.

Tony Adams35:55

It's been a pleasure. Great fun.

Presenter35:56

Uh

Presenter36:42

You've been listening to a download from the BBC.

Presenter36:45

You'll find more information on the Radio 4 website: bbc.co.uk/radio4.