Ricky Gervais

Presenter0:00

Hello, I'm Kirsty Young, and this is a podcast from the Desert Island Discs archive. For rights reasons we've had to shorten the music. The programme was originally broadcast in two thousand seven.

Presenter0:28

My castaway this week is Ricky Gervais. In just twelve episodes, his show The Office changed the face of British television comedy, laying waste to the traditional sitcom props of implausible characters, overblown punchlines, and phony laughter tracks. In David Brent, he created the perfect comedy anti-hero, marooned among the concrete and photocopiers of Slough, a risible company drone drowning in management speak and self-delusion, his toe-cutting performance making excruciatingly compulsive viewing.

Presenter0:58

With seven BAFTAs, two Golden Globes, sell-out stand-up tours, and now a thriving Hollywood career, his place in the British Comedy Hall of Fame is guaranteed.

Presenter1:07

Whether he'll want to be there is another question. He is notably scathing about the celebrity culture of our time, and uncommonly forthright in his views of fellow performers. Ricky Gervais's empathy, you've said, is the very nub of human interaction. How much do you empathise with David

Ricky Gervais1:23

Quite a lot really. Because I think we've all got a little bit of um David Brentiness. We all want to be loved. We're all worried about how we're perceived. And we've all got a, you know, the blind spot. I think it's monstrous in David Brent. But, um, by definition we never know about our own blind spot.

Presenter1:41

David Brent has become a massive cultural figure. I mean, people sort of quote him and they do impersonations of him. For the very few people who are unaware of who he is, can you describe the character?

Ricky Gervais1:50

He's middle everything. He's middle management, uh, middle England. He's going through a bit of a midlife crisis. He's a man in free fall. I mean, his worst crime, I suppose, is that he's um confused popularity with respect and the sh you know, the shortcut to popularity is fame. And uh he's he's not a a bad man at all. He's a bit of a twit.

Presenter2:12

When it first uh came on to our screens, the office, that is, people weren't entirely sure, certainly at least for the first few minutes, whether it was another one of these reality shows or whether it was a comedy. I mean, such was its realism. Um how did you know? I mean, presumably that had come from your own experience of working in dull, repetitive, grey offices.

Ricky Gervais2:29

Well, I work I worked in an office for seven years and obviously I I was I've always been quite a people watcher and the reason why it had to be so real, hyper-real, is that you know it was essential that people understood this was meant to be a documentary. Because without that aspect, it's nothing. It's a bunch of idiots in an office with where nothing happens. But if you say he's doing this to become famous, it all falls into place. Everything makes sense then.

Presenter2:55

It made you incredibly famous, of course. I would guess that you started getting people shouting at you in the streets and doing the David Brent funny dance and all of that stuff. How how does that sit with you?

Ricky Gervais3:04

Well, you know what? People don't really. The people that, you know, uh approach me are are very respectful and it was more it was more my own phobia, fame, than, you know, it that was actually terrible. It you know, it's it's not that bad and I can't whinge, but uh it didn't make sense to me.

Ricky Gervais3:20

The worrying thing more and more is that people don't really know the difference between someone who appears in Hollyoaks and someone who invents a cure for cancer. That that's the problem.

Ricky Gervais3:29

They did a survey a university survey recently amongst ten year olds and they asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up and they said famous. Not even a footballer, not even a a model, just just famous, that'll do. And I think it's the shortcut. They see George Clooney and they go, He's happy and and all those things and they don't realize that he's happy because

Ricky Gervais3:48

He does something well and he's got a body of work and he's got pride in what he does and they see him waving on the red carpet and I think I want they they jump straight to the red carpet waving. No, that's not the happy bit. That's him at work.

Presenter4:01

Tell me about your first record then.

Ricky Gervais4:03

Well, the first one I've chosen is Bob Dylan. If you see her, say hello. I remember when I was probably about 10, I've got older brothers and sisters, and my sister's about 14 years older than me, so she was about 24. And my brother-in-law, Graham, brought all his old records to my mum's house. I saw them when they were there in the spare room. And I remember once, I was really into biology and chemistry at this age. And this guy had all these chemicals from his chemistry sets, and he was really into Elvis. And he said, Oh, I'll swap you some chemicals for one of those Elvis. What a nerd I was. And so I did. And then it got too much for me. And I woke up in a sweat that night and I went into my mum's room and I said, I've swapped some of Graham's records. And she went, Okay. She went, Well, if you're good, I won't tell him. And ten years later, I found out that he dropped them off for me. They were mine. But she saw an opportunity. So she made me good for eight years.

Ricky Gervais5:05

Amazing.

Speaker 45:09

If you see her, say hello.

Speaker 45:14

She might be in Tangier.

Speaker 45:19

She left here last early spring.

Speaker 45:24

Is living there I he

Presenter5:32

Say for me that I'm all right Bob Dylan, and if you see her, say hello. It wasn't the infamous Slough then that you grew up in, it was it was Reading, quite near by.

Ricky Gervais5:44

Very close, yeah.

Presenter5:45

Yeah.

Ricky Gervais5:46

Fine, yeah. Um, as I say, I had older brothers and sisters. Um, they were quite a lot older. Yeah, my next brother was eleven years older.

Presenter5:50

They were quite a lot older.

Presenter5:56

How did they treat you then as much older siblings?

Ricky Gervais5:57

Well, I was I was spoiled and bullied, so it was the perfect balance. I suppose I had to shout to be heard, so uh that's the classic show off performer in me. But it was it was very normal, I think. I mean, um

Ricky Gervais6:10

I didn't know that we were poor till I went to university and

Ricky Gervais6:13

People spoke like the Queen. I grew up in a working class estate. My dad was a labourer. My mum was a housewife with part-time jobs. Fairly typical, hard working, working class family, yeah.

Presenter6:24

That great story you told before we heard the first record about your mother saying, you know, using uh the fact that you'd given away one of the records that were in fact yours. I mean, to any mother that just sounds like the most brilliant technique. But but she obviously had a fair idea of how to to keep you in line. She was quite strong with them.

Ricky Gervais6:30

It was the wet

Ricky Gervais6:38

Yeah, you know, um I think normal mothers would have said um God's watching you, but I I was already an atheist by the age of ten. It was funny because uh I was about eight or nine years old and I used to go to Sunday school and um I believed in God, of course, you know. And I remember once I was um doing a drawing from the Bible and my older brother came in, Bob, and went, What are you doing? I said, I'm just doing Jesus. He went, Why do you believe in God?

Ricky Gervais7:03

And my mum went, Bob?

Ricky Gervais7:05

And I knew.

Ricky Gervais7:07

I knew he had something to tell me, and she didn't want him to. So, uh.

Presenter7:12

That's it with your mother. I mean, if she if she had felt that it was important for you to go to Sunday school, presumably she was religious.

Ricky Gervais7:17

Well, not really. I think it was, um, to a hard working, working class mother. Jesus and God were, um, cheap babysitters. If if I'm not watching you, they are. And uh, it just helps them out around the home.

Presenter7:31

And for you, you were saying that you were fascinated by science as a wee boy, so facts were the thing for you. That could be proven. You were quite a sensible boy.

Ricky Gervais7:38

Well well, um, yes. I wasn't a bad boy. I didn't used to, you know, pull frogs apart and set fire to buildings. I was cheeky. I answered back. So, uh, the biggest chance of me getting into trouble was acting cleverer than a teacher. That was that was the high risk for me.

Ricky Gervais7:53

But yeah, I um I absolutely um was fascinated with science and nature. I always knew I'd go to university. I wanted to study science. I was a keen sort of scientist and I I was in awe of the world. I was just absolutely in in awe of the world.

Presenter8:08

More of that in a moment. Tell me about your second record.

Ricky Gervais8:11

This is uh Cat Stevens and Lily White. The first album I ever bought was um Teaser and the Firecat. This track is off of uh T for the Tillerman. And this this one, uh Lily White, is just just beautiful.

Speaker 48:23

Taking time to check out

Speaker 48:30

Thank Lilywhite.

Speaker 48:33

I never knew the maid

Speaker 48:38

She'll be passing my way sometime.

Speaker 48:45

He'll be passing my

Presenter8:48

Away sometime again.

Presenter8:53

Kat Stevens and Lily White. Um tell me then, Ricky, your vase, was there a sort of family sense of humour? I mean, I I know you didn't want to overplay the idea of sort of poverty and we didn't have much, but one of the things that can bind working class families together, especially, is a lot of laughs.

Ricky Gervais9:07

That was the most important thing. Outside having a a job, you know, you had to have a job. Doesn't matter what you earned, but you had to have a job. If you had a job, you were allowed to have a laugh. That was what it was all about.

Presenter9:19

Was there a sense of competitiveness in the humour? I mean, did you always did did somebody always want to be the one who got the last line in?

Ricky Gervais9:25

Yeah, but you respected if you had a go. If you crumbled, you'd lost. And if you came back with a good one, it could be devastating, but they'd have to laugh. You know, it was an engagement and you you'd you'd shake hands afterwards and go good one.

Presenter9:38

Who set the tone for that? Was it your father?

Ricky Gervais9:40

No, my father was very dry. Um he said, you know, one thing a day. But I suppose my uh my next oldest brother, Bob, was uh the one that instigated most things. He was just uh he just said funny things, you know, in uh There's Nowhere He Wouldn't Go.

Presenter9:55

And what about boundaries? Because by between people who know each other very well, of course, you can go where people don't normally go, people you don't know as well, you know, you can just take the humour to places that might be considered a bit risky.

Ricky Gervais10:06

Well um when um my mum died.

Ricky Gervais10:10

We were organising the the funeral and um my the vicar said to my brother, So tell me about your mother, what was she like? And my brother, just winding up, the vicar said, Um she was a keen racist and the vicar said I can't say that. He went, Oh, okay, then she liked gardening. Um and then uh when we were at the funeral, so there's

Ricky Gervais10:39

Me, my brother Bob, my sister Marcia, and our oldest brother, Larry, who'd come down from Scotland. But my brother has played a trick on him as well, because the Vicar suddenly goes, Ava lives leaves behind four loving children, Ricky, Bob, Marcia and Barry. And Larry just turns round and looks and we're crying with laughter. And the Vicar thinks we're crazy, that we're just we're there crying and crying with laughter.

Presenter11:07

But apart from I mean, there is a a question about whether or not, of course, we use humour as a reflex to to protect us from things and where more than a funeral are you going to feel the pain of a constant dying.

Ricky Gervais11:16

Of course.

Presenter11:19

For me, I find those very funny stories. For a lot of people, though, there, you've strayed into the bounds of absolute tastelessness and disrespect.

Ricky Gervais11:26

Um but definitely not. But absolutely I definitely not

Presenter11:29

Definitely not because everybody is participating in that.

Ricky Gervais11:32

And uh everyone, you know, knew what they thought of mum and um we were worried about what the vicar thought. I remember I think it was uh at my dad's funeral where we're

Presenter11:38

What?

Ricky Gervais11:42

We're mucking around and laughing and bowled back to go over to the vicar and say, Sorry about that. He said uh you know, he was he was eighty three. If he was fifty, there'd have been less laughter. And that that sums it up. You know, he'd had a good life and it was exactly what they would have wanted, I think.

Presenter11:56

The stuff that you were saying about your mu mother's funeral though, there's very much a sense i i in which that reflects the idea that there is nowhere you won't go for love. I mean, is that is that for you also a professional dictum that wherever you think you will make people smile, that is where you're willing to travel for a a joke or a good laugh.

Ricky Gervais12:11

Well, um, yes, but you've got to be you know, I wouldn't do it at someone else's mum's funeral. You know, that there's I think that's the difference. But uh, I don't think there's any um taboos in in humor. It's where the humor comes from. Humour comes from a good or a bad place.

Presenter12:28

So context is all the way to the next one.

Presenter12:31

Yeah.

Presenter12:32

Tell me about your third record.

Ricky Gervais12:34

Um this is uh The Sex Pistols and Anarchy in the UK. And when Nevermind the Bollocks came out, I couldn't believe it. I ran home from school and played it every single night for about six months. And the opening line, I am an antichrist, I am an anarchist. You know, I was just the right age to get excited about this sort of thing. But it stands up. It's such a powerful song. I think it's great.

Speaker 413:04

Key for the UK It's coming sometime I might be I give a run time Stop a traffic line Your future dream is a sharpened skate design

Speaker 413:20

I got

Speaker 413:29

Yeah, that's so

Presenter13:32

The Sex Pistols and Anarchy in the UK and memories there of playing that every night you said for six months and kiss your vase when you got home from school. I mean, you were you were quite a a musical person. You you liked the you liked the idea of being in a band, you formed a band.

Speaker 413:37

Uh

Ricky Gervais13:37

Yeah.

Ricky Gervais13:39

I mean you

Ricky Gervais13:45

Uh yeah, well I um at first I just I loved music. I started playing guitar because of Cat Stevens and then um when I went to university I joined a band.

Presenter13:53

You would have been what age then when you it was called Shauna dancing.

Ricky Gervais13:56

Yeah, I was um let's see, uh

Ricky Gervais13:59

Twenty and uh when it was all over I was still twenty.

Presenter14:03

I I I've seen a little clip of a video. I mean, you cut a bit of a dash, didn't you? You were

Ricky Gervais14:06

Yeah.

Ricky Gervais14:08

Yeah, that's right. People do people um s show me pictures of uh me when I was nineteen and uh I go, Oh, no and they think that I'm embarrassed why I I used to look. No, no, I'm embarrassed how I look now. I'm jealous of how I used to look. It depresses me. I was a six stone lighter.

Presenter14:09

People did.

Ricky Gervais14:25

I had a jawline.

Ricky Gervais14:27

Yeah, incredible.

Presenter14:28

Quite a lot of gel going on in the hair, it looked to me, or some sort of mousse or something. Quite a lot of hair. Quite a lot of hair.

Ricky Gervais14:31

Quite a lot of hair. Quite a lot of hair. Those were the days. Bit of eyeliner. I've still got I've still clipped my hair actually. Um it was uh new romantic days, a a lot of eyeliner. And obviously I had to sound like David Bowie.

Presenter14:34

Bit of eyeliner.

Presenter14:43

And can you remember any of the lyrics from any of the songs?

Ricky Gervais14:47

Um

Presenter14:48

I just saw what flashed through your eyes that you can, but you're not sure you want to say them.

Ricky Gervais14:51

That's exactly right.

Presenter14:52

Go on then.

Ricky Gervais14:52

No, no, no, you are right.

Ricky Gervais14:54

I can, but I'm not going to say them. Why not? Because it makes me want to crawl into a dustbin.

Presenter15:03

And I notice you haven't chosen any Shauna dancing for us here today. That's weird, isn't it? Imagine if I had.

Ricky Gervais15:06

That's weird, isn't it? Imagine if I had to.

Presenter15:09

So why why did you leave behind your ideas of uh pop stardom and and musicianship?

Ricky Gervais15:14

I didn't leave him behind, I failed miserably and had to do something else.

Presenter15:18

But some people plug away for years even though they fail.

Ricky Gervais15:19

Well, I did half heartedly for a little while, but then um I thought I'd better get a a proper job and have a change of career. And um so I I went on to the periphery of entertainment and I became an Ent's manager. You know, I managed bands and I dabbled and I, you know, still produced bits and pieces.

Presenter15:35

Uh you've said the important thing in your family was that uh first base was having a job, secondary it was to make jokes. So what did your parents make of the fact that you were dabbling in the middle of the

Ricky Gervais15:44

Well, that was it. I sort of I broke the rules there a little bit because I held out trying to, you know, chase a dream for longer than um I probably um should have. I went home uh one Christmas and uh I went, Oh, yeah, I meant to tell you I want to join a band and uh we actually had just got a record deal. Uh we got it very quickly and she went rock star is another word for junkie, right? And I told her the advance and she went

Ricky Gervais16:09

Mick Jagger bought Is My Mouse in Wales.

Presenter16:13

I really like the sound of your mother. Tell me about your next track.

Ricky Gervais16:17

This is uh Neil Young after the gold rush.

Ricky Gervais16:21

His voice is so fragile, it's like he's worried about what he's got to tell you, but he's going to tell you anyway.

Ricky Gervais16:28

After the Gold Rush, there's a lyric in there, Look at Mother Nature on the Run in the nineteen seventies, and uh it just struck a chord.

Speaker 416:36

Look at Mother Nature on the run in the nineteen seventies

Speaker 416:47

I was lying in a burned-out basement.

Speaker 416:52

With the full moon in my eyes

Speaker 416:57

I was hoping for replacement

Speaker 417:02

When the sun burst through the sky

Presenter17:06

Neil Young and After the Gold Rush. So, as you said, Ricky, you had been an entertainment officer. That was sort of that was your job for quite some time.

Ricky Gervais17:13

Um yeah, uh probably about 89 to 97. And this was the

Presenter17:18

And this was the office work, really.

Ricky Gervais17:19

Office work really. Yeah, that was uh the last um two or three years I was there. We moved upstairs to an open plan office, which is the office is based on.

Presenter17:27

And you worked in the radio station, which is where you met Steven Marchin.

Ricky Gervais17:29

Which is where Steven Matchins. Exactly. When I left that job as the ants manager, I'd been offered a job at the fledgling radio station XFM and I was Louden assistant and I think Steve's C V was at the top of the pile and he wanted to be a stand-up comedian. He was starting out in stand-up. I suppose I thought, well, I'll show him I'm funny. And I had a character called CD Boss. And then when Steve went to the BBC to do a trainee production course, he had one day with a film crew and he said, let's film that character. And it turned out a little twenty minute office.

Presenter18:06

And so Stephen Merchant, of course, is your co creator and co writer. He directed both series and wrote them along with you, and also stars in the extras as your useless agent. Did you know when you saw it that you had a little bit of gold dust, or did they know?

Ricky Gervais18:12

The business.

Ricky Gervais18:20

I knew it was different.

Ricky Gervais18:22

Uh we were low risk, it didn't cost much and you know it went out in July uh at nine thirty on a Monday, so uh they probably thought what's the worst that can happen?

Presenter18:33

Tell me about your next piece of music.

Ricky Gervais18:35

Um the next track is um Radiohead Bones. There's a lyric that goes I used to fly like Peter Pan and the way he sings it and the way the music soars it brings a lump to my throat'cause it's that uh anything to do with regrets or the way things were, I'm a sucker for that and this it just does something to my soul. It makes me well up. This is Radiohead and Bones.

Ricky Gervais19:01

I can't climb the stairs.

Speaker 419:08

He says messenger everywhere.

Speaker 419:16

Rose Lagille.

Presenter19:28

Radio head and bones, and you said the line in there, Ricky, it's your face that touches you most is: I used to fly like Peter Pan. Oh, yeah, isn't that sad?

Ricky Gervais19:34

I know, isn't that sad?

Presenter19:35

Well, you seem like quite a sort of romantic soul under it all.

Ricky Gervais19:39

Yeah, we're uh we're just here for as long as we're here and um I just think that's that's sad. It's it's probably'cause I'm an atheist. This is all we've got, so uh you better enjoy it.

Presenter19:53

And you better leave behind something that matters.

Ricky Gervais19:55

Yeah, well I I do think like that. You know, I that you know, when you know, in in the work I am I I'm conscious of the legacy. I do want this work to be as good in twenty years as it is now or or or whatever. And um I do want to leave something behind, really.

Presenter20:11

Those are very high ideals, aren't they? Because a lot of people are just delighted to be working in television or films, are just delighted to get paid for it.

Presenter20:18

And your ideals seem much higher than that. You're determined that it's going to be art.

Ricky Gervais20:24

Yeah, I was worried about.

Ricky Gervais20:27

a fat little comedian from Reading even saying the word art. That's that that's how we're brought up in Britain, isn't it? That we're worried about being pretentious or above our station. So, um, uh if I'm being honest, yeah, I do, I do. I think there's nothing wrong with putting um

Ricky Gervais20:43

The art into comedy. There's nothing wrong with that.

Presenter20:45

And maybe also something of all of those values that were ingrained in you as a little boy. The idea that if this is going to be your job, and it's a bit of an odd job compared to what most people do, I mean, it is not what your father did, it's not going out and sweating blood every day being a labourer on a building site. It is, in a sense, a bit of a non-job. Therefore, you've got to make it good to get over the guilt.

Ricky Gervais20:58

Everything being a

Ricky Gervais21:06

Absolutely. Yeah. I did well, I went through a period of guilt just having a nice life. You know. It's not guilt, it's.

Ricky Gervais21:15

Why can't everyone have what I've got? That that it w I suppose it's different to guilt.

Presenter21:20

How does that how does that manifest itself then, that that sort of slightly shameful feeling that you're getting away with something that other people should share?

Ricky Gervais21:27

That's exactly it. That I'm getting away with something that everyone should share. I don't know what to do about it really. Um all I have to do is know that if you're not proud of how you've that you're rich, then you're at least you're not ashamed of it. You know, I haven't done I haven't hurt anyone to do this. And um I remember I was offered a couple of adverts and a couple of corporates, and the reason I did it was because the first one I was offered was um my dad's salary.

Ricky Gervais21:58

for twenty minutes. And I felt guilty about doing it, I didn't want to do it, but then I thought I felt guilty about not doing it because who was I to turn down and I did a couple and I thought, no, I don't want to do this, I don't want it, I don't like it so um I've never regretted saying no. In fact, for the first few months it sort of ruined it a bit. I was so proud of the office. It's the thing I tried hardest at in my life and I was so and I got ten out of ten and I realised that that meant more to me than anything else. And when the royalty checks came in, it ruined it a bit. It actually, I d I just didn't want to talk about it.

Ricky Gervais22:36

I'm over it now.

Presenter22:38

Banking the checks? Tell me about your next piece of music.

Ricky Gervais22:42

Um

Ricky Gervais22:43

David Bowie.

Ricky Gervais22:45

probably my single biggest hero in music. And uh I suppose he's known for putting the art into music. But what people don't realize is he's written one of the most beautiful love songs

Ricky Gervais22:58

Ever, it's called Letter to Hermione and it's just so stripped down, this is just gorgeous.

Speaker 423:05

And when he's strong, he's strong for you And when you kiss it, something new

Speaker 423:11

But did you ever call my name, just find the state?

Speaker 423:20

I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to do.

Speaker 423:25

So I'll just write some love to you

Presenter23:33

David Bowie and Letter to Hermione. And you say it is Bowie and not Bowie, because of course you've met the man who met your hero.

Ricky Gervais23:37

Of course.

Ricky Gervais23:39

Oh yeah, me.

Presenter23:41

You are actually friends now, aren't you?

Ricky Gervais23:42

It's Bowie. Um, well, we are now, yeah, I suppose so. I remember the first time, um, I met him, it was just soon after the office broke. I went along to see uh uh one of those um sort of VIP concerts for radio or something, and I went along um with my girlfriend and afterwards uh we went in the green room and Greg Dyke, then the the head of the WC bounced over and said, You're a Bowery fan, aren't you? I went, Yeah, he went, Do you want to meet him? I went, What is was isn't he sort of just chilling out? No, come there, we're gonna meet him and um so me, my girlfriend, Greg Dyke, went down to Bowie's dressing room. On the way, Greg Dyke shouts, Salmon! Ah, so that'll be Rushdie. That'll be Salmon Rushdie. So we're all in his dressing room, we met him and he said hello and was chatting to us. And the next day in the pub, my mate went, What did you do last night? and I went, Nothing.

Presenter24:21

So that'll be that'll be rushed to you.

Ricky Gervais24:33

What could I say? I um hung out with Salmon Rushdie, David Barry, and Greg Dyke. Why? What did you do?

Presenter24:39

In extras, of course, you've you've you've used David Bowie. He he sang uh Little Fat Man Who's Was It Sold as Soul by the comedy writer?

Ricky Gervais24:45

Yeah, comedy later. What a sing-along lyric that is.

Presenter24:51

And you've sat there manfully and took it from your hero. Also Robert De Niro, Kate Winslet, I mean a host of extraordinary stars you've had in and it is about this man who is a what they call a supporting artist. He never has anything to say on set, but he has a regular paid job as an extra.

Ricky Gervais25:06

As an X

Presenter25:08

And then he does find fame. Now, contrasting that with the office, of course, you you worked in this office for many years. It will become increasingly difficult, won't it, for you to cull

Ricky Gervais25:10

Mm.

Ricky Gervais25:14

Yeah.

Presenter25:18

Your material from reality because your reality becomes compromised by your fame.

Ricky Gervais25:23

Well, yeah. You know, my English teach said right about what you know. So, um, I think it's the you know, the the first album's easy because it's it's all your year's experience, and the the second album's the last year, which probably wasn't a normal year. So, yes. But, um

Presenter25:39

And extras came from that? Did extras came from these these extreme brushes of standing with Samuel Rushdie and David Barnes?

Ricky Gervais25:41

These maintenance.

Ricky Gervais25:43

Of course, just having your life changed, I don't want it to sound like whinging. Everyone's polite. It's not like I go out into the street and I'm bothered, or I live in the centre of London, no one really bats an eyelid, and it's cool. But it was creepy. I think when the first BAFTA was creepy, because there was press, you know, ringing my doorbell. And I thought, well, how do they know where I live? Why do they care? I didn't sign that deal with the devil. I didn't call the press up and say, I'm going to be at the airport. I didn't get a PR person going, there's this new comedian. I didn't do that. And so, and to be fair, the press, they're totally respectful. They know that they're not going to catch me falling out of China Whites with a slapper on my arm. They know I don't do it. There's no story there.

Presenter26:28

Tell me about your next piece of music.

Ricky Gervais26:30

Um Jimmy Webb. Now a lot of people won't know who Jimmy Webb is. They probably know his work. He wrote all the hits for um Glen Campbell, he wrote MacArthur Park, he wrote um Up, Up and Away, and this is a version of Galveston and it's absolutely beautiful. It's uh a guy who um leaves to go to war and there's a lyric in there that goes um I'm so afraid of dying before I dry the tears she's crying. And uh it's just lyrics like that. This is Galveston.

Speaker 427:03

Have a stun.

Speaker 427:06

Oh Galveston

Speaker 427:11

I still hear your sea winds blow

Speaker 427:17

As to see.

Speaker 427:20

Her dark eyes glowed.

Speaker 427:26

She was twenty-one.

Speaker 427:29

I live in the

Presenter27:31

Jimmy Webb and Galveston. Um twenty five years now you've lived with your partner, Jane. I mean, you met while you were both students. She she is a a very successful television producer and now a writer. Um it's an extraordinary journey that she's been on with you.

Ricky Gervais27:41

That's right.

Presenter27:49

How has she handled it? I mean the fame and the the notoriety and the working in Hollywood and all those things you do now.

Ricky Gervais27:55

It seems like a very sort of I dunno, it it just seems very natural to us, because we know.

Ricky Gervais28:01

Nothing's changed except our bank balance and when you step outside the door. We we we haven't changed our values or our outlook or our politics or our, you know, beliefs it at all.

Presenter28:17

I've read that you like to live this very sort of quiet domesticated life, that you used to have a a cat called Colin no longer around, that you're in bed by 9:30. Is all that stuff true?

Ricky Gervais28:25

Um, well sort of yeah, we've got a cat now called Ollie and um I'm in my pyjamas by six PM. I do my work and I come home and I I'm in front of the telly and I'm watching Big Brother. When I I'm away and I'm working, I miss being on the couch with a bottle of wine, watching telly and um stroking the cat.

Presenter28:44

And your family life sounded um like a very happy and and vibrant one, but but you don't fancy children, that's not something you've chosen for yourself.

Ricky Gervais28:50

Uh no, no, no, that's a yeah, that's a a conscious decision.

Ricky Gervais28:55

It's just those it's just those first sixteen years.

Ricky Gervais28:59

I don't want to go through that. I worry about the cat getting out. If I had a baby, I'd watch it all night. I couldn't sleep. Also, they don't give you anything back.

Ricky Gervais29:11

Babe is their scroungers, they do nothing.

Presenter29:13

Tell me about your last piece of music.

Ricky Gervais29:17

Um this is uh well uh first of all it's an absolutely beautiful song and um it's always on my mind. And uh the Elvis version's beautiful, but I never considered Elvis vulnerable enough to pull this song off like um like Willie Nelson. Again, it's that regret, it's that guy who's um maybe made some mistakes and now he's in the the twilight years and uh he's trying to put it right.

Ricky Gervais29:46

This one, out of all the songs, nearly makes me cry every time.

Speaker 329:51

I'm so happy that you're mine.

Speaker 329:57

Little things I should have said and done

Speaker 330:04

I just never took the time

Speaker 330:10

When you were always on my mind

Speaker 430:12

Ah

Speaker 330:17

You are always on my

Presenter30:19

Come on.

Presenter30:21

Willie Nelson, and always on my mind, rich with sentimentality and regret.

Ricky Gervais30:25

The worst thing about that is, it's too late.

Presenter30:29

To do anything about it, you mean

Ricky Gervais30:31

Yeah.

Ricky Gervais30:32

You know, you can improve and get a second chance, but

Ricky Gervais30:36

You can't have it back. That's the terrible thing.

Ricky Gervais30:39

Oh, I've brought the whole tone down. Sorry about this.

Ricky Gervais30:42

Is the sex pistols?

Presenter30:44

No, it isn't. Um, I'll give you the Bible and the complete works of Shakespeare to take on to this island. You might not want the Bible, of course. Would you like to read it anyway, or?

Ricky Gervais30:52

Uh

Ricky Gervais30:53

The pavement become useful.

Presenter30:55

Okay. You get to take a book with you. What will your book be?

Ricky Gervais30:59

I don't know. So the point of it's not being referenced is that so it so it's no it doesn't help me in any way. You know, it's not about um poisoned plants or how to build a boat.

Presenter31:07

Exactly.

Ricky Gervais31:08

So I could take a table.

Presenter31:08

Yeah.

Ricky Gervais31:10

top book of like um works of art.

Presenter31:12

Yes.

Ricky Gervais31:13

I'll do that.

Presenter31:14

We allow you two a luxury to make life a little more bearable on the island. What would your luxury be?

Ricky Gervais31:19

Oh, it is so difficult.

Ricky Gervais31:22

What about painkillers and things that act like um like Novocaine and stuff that act morphine so I could how much morphine could I take? A vat?

Presenter31:24

Yes, you can.

Presenter31:26

And stuff like that.

Presenter31:29

Yes.

Ricky Gervais31:30

I could take a vat of morphine.

Presenter31:31

Yes.

Ricky Gervais31:32

Well, I don't really care about the iron then, will I? Um But medicine's useful. Why can I take morphine or novocaine and stuff like that?

Presenter31:39

'Cause they're not going to cure you, so they're only so useful. I mean, they might kill the pain of loneliness, but they're not they're not going to cure you of anything.

Ricky Gervais31:46

Okay, I'll take a vat of Nova Cain.

Presenter31:48

Okay. That you may have and

Ricky Gervais31:54

And that was Ricky Gervais the Atheist Drug Addict.

Presenter31:57

Um, I'm going to force you to save just one track. If you were only allowed one, which one would it be?

Ricky Gervais32:03

I'm on a desert island, which I'm taking into account. I think Cat Stephen's Lily White.

Presenter32:09

Ricky Gervais, thank you very much for letting us hear your Desert Island discs.

Ricky Gervais32:12

My pleasure.

Presenter32:20

You've been listening to a podcast from the Desert Islandists archive. For more podcasts, please visit bbc.co.uk slash radio four.