Kelly Holmes

Speaker 10:00

Hello, I'm Kirsty Young, and this is a podcast from the Desert Island Discs archive. For rights reasons we've had to shorten the music. The programme was originally broadcast in two thousand and six, and the presenter was Sue Lawley.

Presenter0:29

My castaway this week is an athlete. She was the British heroine of the Athens Olympics in 2004 and finally retired from competitive running just before Christmas. Her great achievement, two gold medals for the 800 and 1500 metres, crowned a career that's seen her overcome many personal and professional problems. She had a difficult childhood and has had a string of physical injuries. But despite the setbacks, she's always worked hard at being fit and keeping alive the dream of winning Olympic gold. Her resilience itself has brought her happiness. I've achieved everything I wanted in my life, she said on announcing her retirement, and I want to make the most of it from now on. She is, of course, Kelly Holmes. Kelly, you were 34 when you finally achieved that dream. You would been injured in Atlanta in 96. You'd got bronze in Sydney in 2000. Athens really was the last chance, wasn't it?

Kelly Holmes1:22

Yeah, definitely, it was. And you never know when you're going to each Olympic Games that you've got another one to come because they're four years apart. Sydney, I was thirty years old, you know, and I thought, God, that was going to be my last chance. But to actually get to Athens and be the age I was, but to realise my dream, well, actually surpass my dream. Well, absolutely. Win the double. Yeah, exactly.

Presenter1:40

Absolutely.

Presenter1:43

How how long had you had that ambition? I mean, how old were you when you first looked in the mirror and thought, you know, I want to win an Olympic gold medal?

Kelly Holmes1:50

I was fourteen. Yeah, I was fourteen when I thought to myself that I want to be Olympic champion and that was after watching um Sebco at the eighty four Olympics and um I just really figured that I

Presenter1:58

Man

Kelly Holmes2:03

wanted to achieve something in my life and I wanted to be Olympic champion and it was just from then.

Presenter2:07

And it was

Presenter2:08

But he I mean, he didn't win the double, he only won one, didn't he? Yeah, but

Kelly Holmes2:11

Uh

Kelly Holmes2:12

It did, but I I you know, I never ever thought of

Presenter2:14

Uh

Kelly Holmes2:14

Uh

Presenter2:14

You'd surpass him. He was there, wasn't he, in the stadium when when you did win 1500 metres.

Kelly Holmes2:15

Pass him. He was there.

Kelly Holmes2:19

Actually the eight hundred first because um he gave me my medal, my gold medal, and but just part of that he actually had to be on his hands and knees undoing my spikes, which I thought was quite ironic. You know, my hero, Lord Sebastian Coe, on his hands and knees taking my spikes off.

Presenter2:36

Well, I think he was in awe, wasn't it? You said since you had it was as if you had a kind of onboard computer. You just ran it perfectly. Every time he or your trainers thought she mustn't get boxed in now, she must pull out you did it.

Kelly Holmes2:46

She must

Kelly Holmes2:47

Now she must

Kelly Holmes2:50

Yeah, I mean

Kelly Holmes2:51

I think I was in a different zone, you know. I mean, I said to people that I'm not actually a religious person, but something was helping me, that championship, so I really believe it. I really believe that something things are meant to happen for a reason. And all the bad times got to a stage where I think it was totally testing my wit and does she really want it? And all I can say is that I proved that I did, and somebody thought, well, there you go, she's really done it. She gave me a lot of good fortune in the end.

Presenter3:20

What I don't get is you didn't realize quite what it meant to all of us back home. I mean, I gather that when they were going to have a victory parade down at your home town in Kent, you said, Well, hang on, you know, will enough people turn up?

Kelly Holmes3:25

I'm convict

Kelly Holmes3:28

Can you

Kelly Holmes3:31

Well the thing is when you're in the village you're very isolated so I only saw one newspaper after winning the 800 metres and I was on the front page and I was like oh my god I'm on the front page and it was like really exciting that I was on the front page and little did I know when I came back after the 1500 metres my mother had a stack and I was like on the front page, back page, middle pages everywhere and I thought oh my god but when we had the homecoming parade I was just really worried for the organisers because I was thinking oh god it'd be so embarrassing if you know not many people turn up and 80,000 people turned off. It was just incredible.

Presenter4:05

Tell me about the first record you're going to take to this desert island.

Kelly Holmes4:08

Yeah, my first record actually was my Olympic song. Uh the words in the song really meant a lot to me and um if you listen to the words it mean my gold medals.

Speaker 44:19

Special. And some people want it all, but I don't want nothing at all. If it ain't you, baby. If I ain't got you, baby. Some people want diamond wings. Some just want everything. But everything means nothing. If I ain't got you.

Presenter4:47

Alicia Keys and If I Ain't Got You.

Presenter4:49

You undoubtedly have a a unique talent for running Kelly and you might never have realized that talent if it hadn't been for another natural talent you have. It seems to me reading about you. You've got this kind of naked determination really despite the difficult childhood. I mean for a start when you arrived in the world you were kind of unexpected and unwelcome really, weren't you?

Kelly Holmes5:12

Yeah, well, you know, my mother um met a guy called Derek and one thing led to another and she ended up pregnant. She was seventeen. She was seventeen, very young, and it was very hard for her. I mean, I actually admire when I think about where she was at that, she kind of

Kelly Holmes5:29

I grew up and she did in a white village of um Hildenborough, very small, you know, kind of white of a white Kent and suddenly she's with a black guy, which is no problem whatsoever, but the fact that she's then going to bring a mixed race child into um a white kind of family and a white neighbourhood and the child's illegitimate and all those things.

Presenter5:47

Why she's seventeen and the child's illegitimate and all those things. So the pressure must have been huge. Yeah, it was. And not least from your grandparents, I think.

Kelly Holmes5:53

And not this

Kelly Holmes5:55

Yeah, I think so. I mean, obviously mum knows a lot more of the story and things, but um I don't think they were that accepting. Yeah, they thought that well the only way that they would let my mother go back home, thinking she's only seventeen obviously, was that if they she had me adopted. But she put me into a a a child home just because she couldn't cope, you know. I mean she didn't have any money, she didn't have a job, she didn't kind of want to lose me, lose me, so she put me into a home. She tried first.

Presenter6:03

Well they wanted to be put for adoption.

Presenter6:26

At first though, didn't she? I mean, she had you with her for I mean, she she elected not to go back home because she didn't want to put you for a doctor.

Kelly Holmes6:28

Yeah, it's a tropical

Kelly Holmes6:31

She was actually so brave. I mean, if you think, she they said it was me or them and she chose me and she left home. How cool's that? Yeah, so she left home and tried to make a go of it, but it obviously became very hard and she needed to have a job to kind of live. So um the only option for her was to put me in the child home. And um

Presenter6:33

Many

Presenter6:36

Mm.

Kelly Holmes6:52

But, you know, I was a baby, so it's not really going to affect me enough.

Presenter6:56

You were in there later on. Again, she had to put you in opposite.

Kelly Holmes6:58

I was about four. Yeah, nearly four. So, um, yeah, and she was really young then, obviously, and uh long, long hair,'cause she used to have long hair that she used to sit on, you know, and that's and um yeah, so I just thought she was, you know, beautiful. Record number two. My next record is Boney M Brown Girl in the Ring. Now, like I said, I was brought up in a white county and I went to the all-white school and I was the only brown girl and they put me in the ring and sang Bony M Brown Girl in the Ring, but I loved it'cause I was the sugar in the plum, plum plum.

Speaker 47:35

In the ring, tra la la la la. There's a brown girl in the ring.

Speaker 47:41

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

Speaker 47:44

In the ring, tra la la la la

Presenter8:03

Oni M and Brown Girl in the Ring and memories of being a little girl in Kent. Your your father, Derek Holmes, had um left when you were a few months old. Your mother and he had split up. Yeah.

Kelly Holmes8:12

Uh

Presenter8:12

Right, yeah.

Kelly Holmes8:13

Yeah.

Presenter8:13

But but she then m married another man, she married Mick Norris, and and they had more children, yeah.

Kelly Holmes8:13

That's the

Kelly Holmes8:19

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, Mick, who's my dad and still is, does all my painting and decorating. Yeah, they married and they had my brothers Kevin and Stuart who I dotted on, absolutely. But obviously he wasn't my dad, is you know, it's kind of that I don't know, that fight against something when he's telling you off. You're like, well, you're not my dad, so you can't tell me. But you use it against it. And yeah, and I did, I did that, and maybe that was a little bit of a jealousy thing as well, because, you know, he was with my mum.

Presenter8:39

Can you use it to get

Kelly Holmes8:46

You know, and I felt that.

Presenter8:47

And they had two children together. To that extent you were you were the odd one, as it were.

Kelly Holmes8:48

Two children

Kelly Holmes8:49

Didn't you?

Kelly Holmes8:52

Yeah, um I think that's kind of the thing that you get'cause you feel maybe you don't belong totally in that environment.

Presenter9:00

And then you met your real father. You discovered he was living nearby in Tunbridge Wells, and he had another family, so you were kind of

Kelly Holmes9:05

Yeah, what

Presenter9:07

stuck between two families where there were children of the family and you were this

Presenter9:11

Slide old one, huh?

Kelly Holmes9:12

Yeah, but I you know, I I don't think things really affect me too bad. It's kind of just those when you're growing up, those sort of thoughts that you have and you kind of have insecurities. And I suppose I grew up with a bit of insecurities about those sort of things, you know, thinking that why wasn't my mum and dad together, you know?

Presenter9:28

Of course, you say that, but at the same time what comes through in all of your story is a kind of supreme confidence, as if these things somehow you just shrugged them off and coped with them and it it didn't really affect you. Is that right? Did you consciously do that? Or is that just the kind of person you are?

Kelly Holmes9:39

Good.

Kelly Holmes9:42

Yeah, conscious.

Kelly Holmes9:46

Is the person that I am, to be honest with you, then I probably try and.

Kelly Holmes9:51

make things of my life so that I can always feel that I've done something special and that's what makes me happy. And so yes, things affected me and I was very emotional about things and even really late into my life when you think about certain situations. But um because sport captures kind of your imagination, for me um it was something that I could hold on, something that I could prove to myself, something I could do and then I I found athletics eventually.

Presenter10:17

And and you always had goals though, but even b before you get to the sport it seems to me you had go you worked, didn't you? You wanted to earn money, you wanted to do this, you wanted to do that.

Kelly Holmes10:23

I know, just everything. Because my mum and dad didn't have a lot of money at all. So I thought, well, the only way I can get what I want is to earn money. So I used to.

Presenter10:32

It wasn't always what you wanted, though, was it? I mean, didn't you buy your mother rather a special present at one point?

Kelly Holmes10:34

And that's true.

Kelly Holmes10:36

I did. We didn't have a tumble dryer at the time and I earned £12 a week and what I thought was maybe I could buy it for Christmas. So what I did is I saved £10 a week and gave it to my nan and grandad and they used to go down to Curries and put on the £10 a week because I lived in like one house and they literally lived over the wall in the next house and so they put it up in their shed and that Christmas morning my mum has this big thing about you have to you know get up, make her a cup of tea, have breakfast, wash, take the dogs out, get ready before you can go anywhere near the damn Christmas tree, you know and excuse that's all you want to do in here. You want to do all that stuff, you just want to go diving in. So so anyway this one thing she says, oh make me a cup of tea and so I go downstairs, pretend I'm making a cup of tea. Meanwhile I'm out struggling with my nan with the wheelbarrow trying to get this tumble dryer in the wellbar and all I can hear my mum

Speaker 411:13

Uh

Presenter11:13

That's what he wants to do, isn't he?

Kelly Holmes11:31

Hey! Where's my coming? Hey! I was just going, oh, in the street, you know, got the doors open. And like me and my name are like jumbling around with this blooming tumble dryer. We eventually got it in the house and I put a massive bow on it and then I ran back upstairs with a cup of tea. And yeah, and then when we came down they were just like absolutely shocked but I felt so proud that I'd done it, you know. Really proud.

Presenter11:54

Method number three.

Kelly Holmes11:55

Well, my next song is kind of like what every woman I think feels, you know, and for me about being independent and it's um Destiny's Child Independent Woman.

Speaker 412:06

Question, how'd you like this guy?

Presenter12:32

Destiny's Child and Independent Women. So you're a very focused young girl, Kelly Holmes, quite tough. You joined the Tunbridge Athletics Club when you were thirteen, and the coach there, Dave Arnold, liked your style. Dindy, can you describe it? I mean, what would he have seen in you that was special? What would you have looked like?

Presenter12:50

Yeah.

Kelly Holmes12:50

Well, I mean

Kelly Holmes12:51

I don't know what he saw in me, to be honest, but I thought I think I had quite a lopey stride and i to him it was quite effortless uh even at a young age and I

Presenter13:02

Yeah.

Kelly Holmes13:03

Yeah, springy, strong, even though I was young. And I think the passion to work hard, what he said, you know, was that.

Kelly Holmes13:11

I would always want to train, you know, I'd always do it and nothing was too much or nothing was too hard for me. It was always I have to do it because I want to get better.

Presenter13:19

I think something else happened, didn't it? When you were fourteen, you fell in love with the army.

Kelly Holmes13:24

Yes, why?

Presenter13:25

What?

Kelly Holmes13:27

I remember careers officers coming into our school and playing this video to do with the Navy, REF and the Army. It was doing all these sort courses and you know, scrambling out under and running around and all the fitness training and I thought, oh that's brilliant, that's me and so that started my dream of wanting to be in the army.

Presenter13:46

And remember how you did when you were seventeen, eighteen

Kelly Holmes13:48

Yeah, so

Kelly Holmes13:49

Teeny.

Presenter13:49

Yeah. And it stood you in good stead, really, didn't it? When your home life got disrupted? Because your mother then broke up, didn't she? Yeah, mother broke.

Kelly Holmes13:51

Yeah.

Kelly Holmes13:53

Yeah.

Kelly Holmes13:55

Yeah, mother broke up with Mick and it was a bit of a bad time, but Yeah.

Presenter13:59

So what you had really effectively was a career that could occupy was it was a life in the army?

Kelly Holmes14:05

It was a life. I mean that was my career. I thought I was going to be in 22 years. I was army barmy, it really was. And I wanted to be a physical train instructor, but there's no intake.

Presenter14:05

Nibble.

Kelly Holmes14:13

And so they said we have to choose another train. And so I became H G V driver. Heavy goods for the cushion. Four ton trucks. I loved it. Yeah. Had my little cushion, made sure I was tall enough and there we are.

Presenter14:25

Yeah, well I've seen people as about five

Kelly Holmes14:26

Yeah, well five five people is better five five.

Presenter14:29

Yeah.

Kelly Holmes14:29

That would actually be fine.

Presenter14:29

I want to.

Presenter14:30

Record number four.

Kelly Holmes14:32

The next one actually, I just like the song, and it's Heather Headley, Always Been Your Girl.

Speaker 414:37

Who should share your name? Who should wear your ring? When I've always been your girl?

Speaker 414:45

Can you tell me you're not the one?

Speaker 414:49

To be the mother of your unborn son

Speaker 414:53

May not have the time, but there's no denying that you feel the same. Cause I've always been your birth.

Presenter15:05

Heather Headley and always been your girl. You did in fact become a a a physical training instructor in the end in the army, didn't you? I I suspect when some of those officer trainees were sent to you to be trained and they saw this little five foot four person

Kelly Holmes15:12

I suspect

Speaker 115:15

Uh

Kelly Holmes15:15

You know

Kelly Holmes15:18

Yes, I did actually. I was a corporal at a place called Beckensfield and it's the army training centre for potential kind of officers. And I remember once being in the gym, they were all in there and they were all like six foot guys and I come in as little me and they sort of wasn't sort of paying attention, you know, and I don't like that. And so in the end it kind of bugged me. I said, right, everyone outside, we're going to do a three mile run round the bowl. It's called a bowl, it's like really undulating, a huge like crater sort of thing in the woods. Anyone that's behind me, by the time we get back, is coming in every morning at five o'clock for two weeks. And so I sent them off and I actually went behind them all because I was.

Presenter16:00

You gave them a head start.

Kelly Holmes16:01

Yeah, they go like hares because they're thinking, right, we've got a beater. So I knew the route and everything, and I knew it's really hard. So I started passing them, passing them, passing them, see all these in the distance going up the hills, some of them are like starting to slack. And I was thinking, right, I was picking them off, picking them off, and then there's one guy. And I thought, right. So we came back through the gate and we had like this little bit about 100 meters up to the gym. I sprinted past this guy and I got there and just literally picked him. That day I had the most respect. And then the thing is, they told the next platoon, the next platoon, so I had to it was brilliant. So yeah, so I like that sort of thing, you know, because.

Presenter16:30

Sorry.

Speaker 116:31

Uh

Presenter16:32

So, yeah.

Kelly Holmes16:36

I can f

Presenter16:36

Uh

Kelly Holmes16:36

Uh

Presenter16:38

But the running, you know, became more serious. You start you competed in the army and then you started competing in civilian races and then suddenly you relit the ambition, didn't you, for the Olympics? I think you saw somebody, Lisa York, wasn't it, at the Barcelona Olympics? That's right, in nineteen I can beat her.

Kelly Holmes16:51

That's right, in 92.

Kelly Holmes16:53

Yeah, I used to run against her when I was a junior, so it was kind of really strange seeing this person that I used to run against sometimes beat. in the Olympic Games and that kind of really ig ignited that passion.

Presenter17:03

It was the turning point. So you'd have been twenty-two about that. I was twenty-two, yeah.

Kelly Holmes17:04

So you'd have been in what twenty

Kelly Holmes17:06

But

Presenter17:07

And so finally, you get to the Atlanta Olympics, 96.

Kelly Holmes17:10

Yeah.

Presenter17:12

It was apparently a pair of trainers that scuppered your chances there.

Presenter17:16

It was really hard

Kelly Holmes17:16

To know, to be honest, but uh I was very, very fit. I was one of the favourites to win a medal because I'd already won two at the World Championships the year before and two the year before. And I remember feeling a bruise like on my leg.

Speaker 117:22

Uh

Presenter17:22

Who anyone

Speaker 117:22

On

Kelly Holmes17:28

And I thought, oh, that's strange. And I'd had a brilliant session the day before, so I was really kind of raring to go.

Speaker 117:33

I'm to go

Kelly Holmes17:34

So I went to the doctor and basically, to cut a long story short, it ended up being a stress factor and I had no idea and suddenly I was like devastated that I'm at the Olympic Games and I've got a stress factor. The doctor said we don't think you should run and I was adamant that I was going to run because I didn't know if I was ever going to get to the Olympic Games again, you know, and I was at the Olympic Games and the stress of the fact that I was injured knowing that I was fit before and the pain and the whatever, I just, you know, I really kind of got emotional and w and all that before the race, so I kind of then didn't go into the race totally focused. But despite that, I ended up coming fourth and I got pipped on the line, you know, I could have got a bonus.

Speaker 117:52

On the limb

Speaker 118:06

Yeah.

Presenter18:06

Mm-hmm.

Presenter18:12

So there's always that tantalizing feeling, yeah. I mean, if I were really fit, I could just swipe the floor with something.

Kelly Holmes18:15

Yeah, I can just swipe the floor with it.

Presenter18:18

Yeah.

Kelly Holmes18:18

Yeah.

Kelly Holmes18:18

Now again, it's very hard for me to explain these feelings, but

Kelly Holmes18:23

I just always believed that I would become Olympic champion. There was always something that said to me, You will one day do it. I just didn't know when, you know, obviously.

Kelly Holmes18:32

I I think I had such a strong strong belief in myself that I never wanted to give up. And what was happening is every time I was knocked down I actually come back stronger'cause I thought, Well, I know I can do it, you know, I know it's just the injury and I know I can do it, I know I can do it.

Presenter18:46

Echo number five. What's that?

Kelly Holmes18:48

The next one is Sounds of Blackness I'm Going All the Way. And actually this was one of the songs that after the Night Six Olympics I thought the words in this song was like I am going all the way, I'll do it.

Speaker 419:03

I know better

Speaker 419:04

Stop the move on.

Speaker 419:07

My determination is what keeps me stronger. I believe in safety.

Speaker 419:14

Before

Presenter19:29

That's I'm going all the way, Sounds of Blackness. Um you did lose your confidence. I mean, you said, Kelly, that you felt a bit cursed. I think it was after the Sydney Olympics and the bronze, wasn't it? And uh you you um you got glandular fever and you had a another desperate pain in your leg and you terrible stomach cramps.

Speaker 119:39

Let's go.

Presenter19:47

Um, you did lose control, didn't you? You did something really rather terrible to yourself.

Kelly Holmes19:50

Yeah.

Kelly Holmes19:52

Yeah, I did. I like I was saying originally that um every time something kind of knocked me down I would get back up from it and think right well I can do it and then I'd be knocked down again and I'd be I can do it you know and and eventually that kind of comes to a head where you just think why I'm trying everything and why does someone keep knocking me down and it came to two thousand and three.

Kelly Holmes20:16

And um

Kelly Holmes20:18

I'd just done indoor world championships my first time got a silver medal and I was really kind of hyped up and everything and I thought oh this season's going to go brilliant and maybe it's my chance to get my global world title that you know kind of eluded me along the way and then I went and got another injury in my calf and my ankle a tear my calf and ankle and I just do you know what I just came to the end of that hope and I yeah I became depressed and I I cut myself with scissors and stuff but you don't ever think that you're gonna you know but I got desperate you know for just

Kelly Holmes20:57

things to go right for once, you know.

Presenter20:59

But what are you doing in that moment? You're punishing yourself, are you, for for

Presenter21:03

Not achieving.

Kelly Holmes21:03

You don't achieve it. Well, you don't know. The thing is, when you're in that state, you know, um.

Kelly Holmes21:09

Everything is bad. Everything in my life at the time was wrong. I just couldn't get out of it. I never I've never experienced that low before and when you're in it you don't see a way out and it's very, very hard. And I was very, very down low. Just thought that I'm never, ever gonna achieve this dream. And it's because the dream was such a big passion that everything

Kelly Holmes21:31

kind of crowded me, you know, and it was kind of I'm never going to do it, I'm never going to do it. And it was only a year away from the Olympics and all I could still think about, even though we had a championship to go to, was the Olympic Games. But I did get out of it and within

Kelly Holmes21:45

A couple of weeks I became silver medallist at the World Champs.

Presenter21:47

And you then had, as I understand it, two people assigned to you, almost dedicated to you, to kind of it was as if you were treated like a kind of Formula One racing car, wasn't it? We are now going to make this running machine as fit as we possibly can for the Athens Olympics.

Kelly Holmes21:56

Yeah.

Kelly Holmes21:58

Maybe

Kelly Holmes22:01

For the Athens Olympics. Well, after yeah, I mean after that real bad time, and I didn't tell anyone about it, but after that real bad time, I sat down with people from athletics and I said, if there's one thing you can help me, just I don't I can't get injured. You know, if that's the only thing that any money goes towards, just make it my physio and my doctors. I want I have to stay healthy, I have to stay injury free. I said because I said I really believe that if I am injury free and healthy, I can do it. It was my last chance of going for the Olympic glory and the only way I had any chance was for this body to stay in one piece.

Presenter22:37

Uh

Kelly Holmes22:37

Yeah.

Presenter22:37

But it's all in the timing, isn't it? Because in the end, when when you hit Athens, when you hit those races.

Kelly Holmes22:37

But it's one that

Kelly Holmes22:38

Yeah.

Kelly Holmes22:42

Yeah.

Presenter22:43

As it ha the timing was absolutely right. You were at the peak of your performance, weren't you? I mean, it just couldn't have worked better, really.

Kelly Holmes22:46

We're at

Kelly Holmes22:49

Yeah.

Kelly Holmes22:51

It just went just like a fairy tale, really. And I was I can't remember if I told this story, but I one thing that really happened to me was uh sitting on my bed the day before the uh Olympic Games.

Presenter22:55

Hmm.

Kelly Holmes23:07

We were in our room and I'd moved all my beds around and, you know, to make it kind of homely like I do. And I pinned up all my inspirational messages that I've been given and closed my door and sat on the bed and kind of reflecting on right, I'm here now. And I remember this big gust of wind. It's no word of lie, I had no windows open, no doors open, and I'd sat down there after this thing and this big gust of wind kind of swooped around. I could feel it around my neck. And at that point, I just thought I'm going to do something special. And every night of that champs I had it.

Kelly Holmes23:39

And then when I won the eight hundred metres it was like, Oh, you saw my face, I mean

Kelly Holmes23:44

That was just that was a shock for me, you know, winning the eight hundred. I'd only decided a couple of days before that I was definitely going to do the eight hundred. And um and then you did the fifteen hundred. And then, yeah, going for the fifteen hundred meters.

Presenter23:53

And then

Kelly Holmes23:56

And somebody's saying that if you you've already become one of the greats, but if you win two, you become a legend. I was like, oh yeah, right. You know, I've got on that kind of sort of thing. And then I did it.

Presenter24:05

And what do you think the gust of wind was?

Kelly Holmes24:07

Well, I really don't know. You know. I just don't know. I just believe that after over all the years that I've been fighting, something said, Right, it's ti her time, so.

Presenter24:21

But number six.

Kelly Holmes24:22

Next one is one of my old ones I used to like, Kids from Fame, Red Light, and it's kind of um you know, young kids in a art school trying to achieve things and I quite like it'cause they're trying to follow their dream and passion.

Speaker 424:42

I'm the colour of heart. I'm the beaver.

Speaker 424:46

And of it could end you.

Speaker 424:51

That is all I can see.

Presenter24:59

Kids from Fame and Red Light from the Soundtrack to Fame. Um so Kelly, what's the goal now then? I mean, if having retired, you g you cannot live without a goal from everything you've been saying. I gather you you've got an ambition to do for physical training in schools what Jamie Oliver's done for the dinners, huh?

Kelly Holmes25:17

Yeah, there's a lot of things that I'd like to do, to be honest, and I don't think I've got one goal because I've achieved everything I've ever wanted, I have to admit, you know, being in the army and my two medals, but I think I'd like to do a lot of different things. But one thing is really to inspire children. I really would love to have a sporting culture. So when the Olympic Games come to Great Britain, everybody feels the Olympic spirit and the passion that I did from the Olympic Games, even if they don't take part. It's such a special, special movement that you only get if you've got that passion.

Presenter25:46

But you can develop the passion better if you're taking part at your own level. How do you get those kids out there then? How do you say to these young girls who'd rather go shopping on a Saturday morning, what are you saying? You ought to be in a gym?

Kelly Holmes25:50

Yeah, what if you're not?

Presenter25:59

Yeah.

Kelly Holmes25:59

No, I think it's about lifestyle. I want to get more PE put back in schools. At the moment it's only sixty per cent of school children have two hours of PE per week, which I think's ridiculous. I want to change that. Sport has no barriers. You know, it doesn't matter the size or your weight or your colour or your religion or your race, you know. It doesn't matter. There's something for everybody. And you know, I've been places where there's been big kind of girls and they're like, oh, and they're really embarrassed because they can't spin up and down. I said, okay, you pick this up.

Speaker 126:10

Come here.

Kelly Holmes26:31

And you show me, throw that ball up there as far as you can throw it. So they do it and they throw it. And then I get a girl that's been sprinting all the time and really good at running, and I get her to throw it, and she can't throw it as far. And I said, There you go, that's your thing. You're strong. You know, and you always try and put the positives into them. You're strong. Instead of saying, oh, you're a big overweight, you're a strong girl. Use that to your advantage. Find something. Do judo. Do whatever, you know.

Presenter26:54

Did you

Presenter26:55

You hear about David Beckham opening a football academy. I mean you could open an athletics academy, couldn't you? I could and I really would love to do it.

Kelly Holmes27:00

I could and I really would love to do that. You know, I've got so many projects in my head that I'd like to do. I've already motor I'm already a mentor for some junior international athletes and I hope to see that through to twenty twelve. I really believe there's a couple of my girls that could become Olympians in there.

Presenter27:18

But if you've got your eye on somebody, if anybody could train them, they know how.

Kelly Holmes27:21

If they know how well direction. For me, it's not about coaching. I think it's about giving them the truth about what it takes to be an athlete, never giving up and always saying that if you give something one hundred percent, at least you can say you tried.

Kelly Holmes27:35

My next one is I Believe, a real big inspirational kind of song. I think this is like some really nice words and again it's like I Believe in Myself.

Speaker 427:46

Never give up, you can reach your goals. Just talk to your soul and say, I can, I believe, I will, I believe, I know my dreams are real. I believe, I will.

Speaker 428:08

That's what

Presenter28:15

That's Yolanda Adams and I believe from the soundtrack of the film Honey. What about you?

Presenter28:21

Personally, Kelly, I mean, it must be like getting your life back. Are you not on that train treadmill anymore? Listen to me.

Kelly Holmes28:26

I feel really relaxed about myself now. I've sort of quite relieved that I'm I've finished everything. I am really excited about what my future holds. Nervous in a way as well because I've always had direction and for me it's very strange to not have that one thing to grab on to. So in a way I

Speaker 128:41

One thing

Kelly Holmes28:44

Originally I felt quite lost, but I'm now quite excited because I feel that if anything, the what the Olympics has done for me is to give me a voice, you know, to help people make a difference to their lives in whatever way.

Presenter28:59

But what about you personally? I mean, what what do you want? You said you want to now, you know, having achieved your dreams, you're still only thirty-five, my God.

Kelly Holmes29:03

Yeah.

Kelly Holmes29:04

Delari

Kelly Holmes29:05

You have

Presenter29:06

What what do you want would you like to get married, have a family? What

Kelly Holmes29:10

I don't know what I want to do at the moment.

Kelly Holmes29:15

Do you know what? For me, at the moment, I'm living my life. I want to be Kelly Holmes. I just want to be me. And whatever that takes, you know, whatever I choose to do, whatever whoever I choose to meet, I want to do it for me. And I don't kind of talk about those things to people because I believe they're something for myself. It's a private Kelly Holmes. It's a private Kelly Holmes, but not for any reason other than the thing is I just want to be myself and people that know me know me who I am and that's all that matters.

Presenter29:34

It's a private Kelly Holmes.

Presenter29:44

And you're obviously very happy. I mean, you've got permanently got a very big smile on your

Kelly Holmes29:48

I'm just very um I'm still quite in disbelief about what's happened to me, to be honest, but I just I can't believe it, but I'm just so pleased that I hang in there.

Presenter29:59

Still quite emotional.

Presenter30:02

Yeah. Yeah.

Kelly Holmes30:02

Uh

Presenter30:02

Yeah. Got record, go on.

Kelly Holmes30:05

Okay, next one actually is an emotional song. This is called Angel from the Sa City of Angels. This is really about some people that have died that I know and I would have this played at my funeral, which is a bit more morbid but I really love the song and it's kind of really remembering a lot of people that I think about.

Kelly Holmes30:25

See?

Speaker 430:26

No your time waiting.

Speaker 430:30

Pull that second chain.

Speaker 430:33

For a break that would make it okay.

Speaker 430:38

There's always some reason.

Speaker 430:42

To feel not good enough

Speaker 430:46

And it's hot at the end of the day.

Speaker 430:50

I need some distraction

Presenter30:57

That was Sarah McLachlan and Angel from the soundtrack to the film City of Angels.

Presenter31:02

If you could only take one of those eight eight records, Kelly, which one would you take?

Kelly Holmes31:08

Oh, that's a hard one. Um it have to be If I Ain't Got You, because that was the song that captured my imagination at the Olympic Games and helped me fulfil all my ambitions. And what about a book? We give you the Bible.

Presenter31:24

Then we give

Kelly Holmes31:24

Use the complete works of Shakespeare.

Presenter31:26

Okay, keep it going.

Kelly Holmes31:26

Okay. Got it?

Presenter31:28

What else would you like?

Kelly Holmes31:28

What else would you buy?

Presenter31:30

Uh

Kelly Holmes31:30

Oh gosh. Um I would take thirty five thirty five set of encyclopedia. Uh that'll keep me occupied for a few years I think.

Presenter31:43

And a luxury. I'll give you one luxury. What would you like?

Kelly Holmes31:45

Oh, luxury. I'd have to have um some spell that turned the C into chocolate.

Presenter31:55

Oh, I see. You've got a weakness for you. I have. You're a chocolate.

Kelly Holmes31:57

I have. You're a democrat. I am. I admit.

Kelly Holmes32:01

Hands up.

Presenter32:03

We can have a few bars now.

Presenter32:05

Dame Kelly Holmes. I missed the dame out till now. She is a dame too. Dame Kelly Holmes, thank you very much indeed for letting me see your desert island discs and happy new year. Thank you very much. You too.

Kelly Holmes32:08

Oh yeah.

Kelly Holmes32:11

Yeah.

Speaker 432:11

Thank you.

Speaker 132:22

You've been listening to a podcast from the Desert Islandists archive. For more podcasts, please visit bbc.co.uk/radio4.