Pauline Quirke

Speaker 10:00

Hello, I'm Kirsty Young, and this is a podcast from the Desert Island Discs archive. For rights reasons we've had to shorten the music. The programme was originally broadcast in nineteen ninety six, and the presenter was Sue Lawley.

Presenter0:29

My Castaway this week is an actress. Still only 36, she's come a long way from her poor upbringing in London's East End to her life today as one of British television's highest paid stars. Most recently, she appeared as a 22-stone murderess in The Sculptress on BBC One, but her first role came when she was only ten as a child arsonist in Dixon of Dock Green. These sinister characters are hardly typical. With her lifelong friend and co-star Linda Robson, she's kept the nation laughing, first as Veronica in Shine on Harvey Moon, and most famously of all, as Sharon in Birds of a Feather.

Presenter1:05

Success may have brought her money, but it hasn't turned her head. Acting, she believes, is just a job, and she'd probably be just as happy doing something else. She is Pauline Quirk. What else would you be happy, Pauline, doing? I mean you've done acting for so long you can't imagine doing anything else.

Pauline Quirke1:18

You've done

Pauline Quirke1:20

Uh

Pauline Quirke1:21

I quite like writing. Quite like to write. I wouldn't have the discipline to write though.

Presenter1:25

Yeah.

Pauline Quirke1:25

And you've

Presenter1:26

Fancy catering.

Pauline Quirke1:26

Oh, I love, yeah, I love cooking and stuff like that. Yeah, I do enjoy that.

Presenter1:30

But being normal, as I understand it from everything I've read about you, being ordinary, it's something that you you bend over backwards to stress, isn't it?

Pauline Quirke1:37

I haven't got an ordinary job. I understand that. When I go out shopping people obviously recognise me and what have you, but at the end of the day you don't think in every waking moment of that, Oh yes, I'm famous, I'm on television, because I know, you still get your ass worked

Presenter1:49

Well, absolutely. You still go to the supermarket, but somehow it seems to be very strong in you that you want to

Pauline Quirke1:49

Yeah.

Presenter1:56

Retain touch with reality, I think.

Pauline Quirke1:57

I think maybe the reason is because when I started acting, I mean, it was a little drama club. It wasn't I didn't go to a drama school. I had no designs on being famous one day. I was nine years of age and it was a club.

Pauline Quirke2:10

The way kids go to Brownies or or what have you. So I went to a drama club and it was fun and and it still is fun, what I do. I have a great time. But it wasn't that thing of, Oh yes, one day I'm gonna be famous and it in a way it's kind of the past twenty five years have happened and I'm still having fun, really. And you still or

Presenter2:27

Henry Paul Inquiry.

Pauline Quirke2:28

Yeah, well, yeah.

Presenter2:29

Yeah, I mean What is she like? How different? Because we all of course imagine that she is you are Sharon in in in Birds of a Feather, that you're kind of witty, quite sharp, quite quite lazy, a bit of a slob really.

Pauline Quirke2:30

What is she like?

Pauline Quirke2:41

Well now, how how different are you from her? Sharon's always got the quick one liners and what have you, and obviously she has because there's a team of writers that have given them. I'm one of these people that after something's happened think, Oh, I wish I'd said that, that'd been really funny if I said that. I'm not as as quick witted as As Sharon is. I think Sharon's much more out of the two girls, out of Sharon and Tracy. Sharon's the more assertive one. I don't think I'm like that.

Presenter3:04

What about Linda Robson, who plays Tracy? I mean she, as you say, is less assertive, she's romantic. Are you saying that in in real life you're the opposite way?

Pauline Quirke3:12

The opposite way. Yeah, certainly growing up over the years Linda Linda would be the first one to stick up for me or when we've bought something at a shop and it's not been any good, Linda'd be the one saying, No, come on, I'll come back with you, you're bringing that back or what have you, we'll get the money back for that. So she's kind of more assertive in that way I think.

Presenter3:26

Yeah.

Pauline Quirke3:26

You're the opposite way around. I suppose we have, yeah, I'm the quieter, I think, of the two. Vida probably disagree.

Presenter3:27

But it went

Presenter3:32

But you must know Sharon really well after what, six series, eighty episodes, do you now tell the scriptwriters?

Pauline Quirke3:36

Yeah.

Pauline Quirke3:39

Hang on, she wouldn't say this. Oh well no, wouldn't that be better if that's more a Sharon line? Or that's more a a Tracy we kind of swap bits about really but yeah, I think basically we do know the characters very, very well. And you're not rivalous and you're not competitive and you're

Presenter3:54

About really

Speaker 13:55

Uh

Presenter4:00

We're still best friends, which is amazing, and I want to talk to you about that. But l let's go to this desert island. Tell me what sort of music Pauline Quirk would like.

Pauline Quirke4:01

Which is amazing and I want to talk to you.

Pauline Quirke4:05

That's

Pauline Quirke4:08

Like on a desert island. Uh

Presenter4:09

Yeah.

Pauline Quirke4:09

And the music that I grew up listening to in the house was Motown, that was my sister's.

Pauline Quirke4:14

Favourite music. So that probably is the the main type of music I like. I just like good songs really. What's the first good song? My first good song is I Will Survive. It's one of those songs. As soon as you hear the first few bars, if you're in a a club or whatever in the days when I used to do all my disco dancing, that'd be the first one to get you up. And it's also it's very much kind of female anthem I think.

Speaker 24:38

I should've changed that stupid lock, I should've made you leave your key. If I'd have known for just one second, you'd be back to bother me.

Speaker 24:56

Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with the vibe? Just think I grumble. Just think I'd lay down and die. Oh no, not I. I will survive.

Presenter5:07

Gloria Gaynor and I will survive. You weren't in the least amusing Pauline Quirk as Olive Martin, the sculptress on BBC One earlier this year. She was pretty monstrous, wasn't she? She wasn't very

Pauline Quirke5:16

She wasn't. She wasn't a very nice lady, no. What attracted you to the part? I just thought she was an incredible character, really, and so different from Sharon, so different from Sharon. Well, absolutely.

Presenter5:25

Well, absolutely. You must have been pleased to be offered something.

Pauline Quirke5:27

Oh yeah. And I was I I thought it was quite brave actually of the BBC and Red Rooster who made it to kind of consider me for it, you know. But to be fair

Presenter5:34

But to be fair you had done straight drum series.

Pauline Quirke5:36

Actually I probably over the years I've I've done more drama than comedy, but obviously people remember you for the for the last thing you've done.

Presenter5:42

But tell me about

Pauline Quirke5:42

Yeah.

Presenter5:42

I mean it it must have been pretty gory at times doing it. There was a lot of blood about That

Pauline Quirke5:48

was the first day of filming the uh the scene where where Howell discovers the body. So yeah, that first day. And even though I knew that the special effects and the prop department had been in there all morning making it look

Presenter5:58

She could

Pauline Quirke6:00

She confessed to to murdering them and the story is, actually, as the journalist tries to discover the true story, she thinks that Olive was covering up for somebody else.

Presenter6:10

But the most compelling thing, of course, about the sculptors, about Olive, was her size. She was twenty-two stone. Now, how did you do it and how long did it take?

Pauline Quirke6:15

Yeah.

Pauline Quirke6:18

Well, they made a suit for me that was basically there was a there was a body double who worked on the sculptress with me that did um a lot of the stand-in stuff.

Pauline Quirke6:27

And they made a plaster cast of my body, which is a fairly unusual experience. I turned up one morning and they put this uh body stocking on you. You're in your your underwear. You wear this body stocking, then they cover you with cream. Three gentlemen who I'd never met before that morning um cover you with cream and then they start putting these plaster of Paris strips on you and you stand there and it hardens and then after about an hour they crack you open. But then there's sort of silicon and latex.

Presenter6:51

Uh

Pauline Quirke6:52

The the actual bodysuit is foam. And then the chest part was kind of this latex rubber that kind of gave the weight of the chest. And then you just plop that on of a morning.

Pauline Quirke7:02

And be glad to get it off at the end of the day, really. Uncomfortable. Well, it it weighed about twelve, thirteen pounds and

Presenter7:04

Um come

Pauline Quirke7:09

It did start to become uncomfortable because the weight was all hanging from the shoulders. So putting that on every morning after a while, yeah, it does tend to bear down.'Cause she had an enormous kind of bosom.

Presenter7:13

So

Presenter7:18

That developed into a belly that developed into thighs.

Pauline Quirke7:19

Even if you were fairly

Pauline Quirke7:20

That's right. And it ma what was wonderful is it makes you walk in a different way, it makes you breathe in a different way. And and Olive, the character of Olive, uses her size to intimidate people. She knew that it had an effect on people that they wanted to keep out of her way, and that's how she used that kind of

Pauline Quirke7:39

Hugeness. Do you think she did it?

Presenter7:40

Murderer mother

Pauline Quirke7:42

Princess.

Presenter7:42

Yeah.

Pauline Quirke7:43

I think the look at the end, which is what most people said to me, they said, Did she do it? And I said, What do you think? They said, Well, yeah, when she did that smile I said, Well, that's absolutely it. That's the way I personally felt it was when you saw that look.

Pauline Quirke7:56

But yes, Olive did it.

Pauline Quirke7:57

And Minette Walters, who wrote the novel, she said the same thing. It's it's just that look at the end as much to say, Yes, I've done it. And that that look, we filmed that on the first day, which I hadn't done any

Presenter8:04

Shut down isn't it?

Pauline Quirke8:10

Olive by then. So, of course, I was a bit concerned that maybe the look wasn't right. But listening to everyone else, they said, Yeah, I think the look was right.

Presenter8:15

Yeah.

Presenter8:17

I think it's raised.

Pauline Quirke8:18

The minute we saw it. Good, good. Record number two. Oh, Shirley Bassey and Big Spender. This was my party piece when I was uh about eleven or twelve. I do this song for friends of the family or whatever. I must have been precocious little brat really. But we met Shirley Bassey recently uh and when we were doing jobs for the girls and she was fantastic, she's a big star.

Presenter8:19

Good.

Speaker 28:39

Let me get right to the point

Speaker 28:42

I don't pop my car for every man I see

Speaker 28:47

A rich friend of

Speaker 28:51

Baby baby

Speaker 29:00

A little time with the feedback

Presenter9:03

Shirley Bassey, hey big spender. So tell me about this drama school where it all began, Pauline. How did you come to go to it and what was it?

Pauline Quirke9:10

Right, well it was started by a lady called Anna Scherr and Anna was our English teacher at our primary school, Ecclesbourne in Islington. And it just started off as a little club up in the art room. I think there was maybe 20 or 30 of us to begin with. And from that it grew and grew and then Anna moved to bigger premises in Essex Road in Islington and some amazing people have come out of there. Sue Talley, Phil Daniels, Gillian Taleforth. There's lots of people that just yeah, because there wouldn't have been an opportunity for children like us to have ever.

Presenter9:34

To the east end of the character.

Pauline Quirke9:41

done anything like that, you know, and Anna came along and that's how it s started really.

Presenter9:46

And you and Linda Robson were there. But but what was special about it? What obviously to have had all of these great successes, this talent that she found and developed, she she must have done something very special with you.

Pauline Quirke9:48

Commit

Pauline Quirke9:57

Yeah.

Presenter9:57

Yeah.

Pauline Quirke9:57

It was all improvisation. I mean the lessons would start and then they'd be given, say, the beginning of an argument. Anna would say the first sentence, which could be, oh, I didn't say you could borrow that, or what have you. And then from that, the kids would just work around it. And it just I think it gave kids confidence. It wasn't expensive. I mean, it was, I think, fifteen pence or something a lesson. So it wasn't a drama school. You went there after school and it was a club twice a week, Monday and Wednesday. And then as we got older, we'd go on Friday, which is the professional group.

Speaker 110:23

And it was a clause.

Pauline Quirke10:30

Used to be Friday evenings. And it was fun, and it wasn't about children wanting to be famous or to be on tele. It was a club, and if you happen to get a job on television from that, so be it.

Presenter10:41

How old were you then when you started?

Pauline Quirke10:42

I started when I was nine and a half at primary school.

Presenter10:44

Mm-hmm.

Presenter10:45

So this would have been w what year, if you were yes but

Pauline Quirke10:47

Yeah.

Presenter10:48

Uh

Pauline Quirke10:48

Back.

Presenter10:48

Yeah.

Pauline Quirke10:48

Seventeen

Presenter10:49

Yeah.

Pauline Quirke10:49

2070, yeah.

Presenter10:50

Fifteen pence not a lot of money, but a lot to your family.

Pauline Quirke10:54

Yeah, also Anna gave free places if there were two children from the same family that couldn't afford I know it seems comical now, fifteen pence, but let's be honest, a lot of people didn't have that, you know.

Speaker 111:02

You know

Pauline Quirke11:03

And then they'd get free places. I can't remember if I had a free place at Anna's. I don't think I did. But yeah, I had free school dinners and

Pauline Quirke11:11

what have you, but there was no stigma attached to it because so did probably most of the other kids. And what did you live in? Where did you live? We lived in I suppose you'd call it a tenement block in Stoke Newington, which I believe they've since put hot water in and

Speaker 111:15

They have a key

Presenter11:15

And what did you live?

Speaker 111:23

Yeah.

Pauline Quirke11:27

But then it was a bigger state. Nobody else did either. You you just worked around, you know, you boil up your kettles on a

Speaker 111:31

Yeah.

Pauline Quirke11:34

Sunday night used to be wash night, and boil up your kettles and have a good old wash down by the sink. And there were you and and you had a brother and a sister? Sean and Kitty, yeah, my big sister and my little brother.

Presenter11:44

And your dad had gone off at quite an early.

Pauline Quirke11:46

Yeah, no, it was just us, yeah. And your mum

Presenter11:47

Yeah, and your mum, what did she do? How did she

Pauline Quirke11:49

Okay. Mummy was early morning cleaner. She used to do that. I mean, before that she'd done catering and stuff and

Pauline Quirke11:56

But she used to do early morning cleaning. Yeah, she was always there. When I came home from school, my mum was always there, always had been. There was no keys. Mum was always there. She must have worked very hard to keep it. Yeah, she did, but it was kind of she never certainly told us about it or what have you. It was just there was always food on the table and that was mum's

Presenter11:58

What so she would she'd she back before?

Speaker 111:59

Yeah.

Speaker 112:05

Uh

Pauline Quirke12:14

big thing and I suppose I've carried that on as well. I'm a great food shopper. I do enjoy having the the fridge full of food. It's obviously something from childhood. It's important to me and I remember saying to my mum, Oh, so and so's going on holiday or so and so's got a chopper bike or and my mum would say, Yeah, but they have a walk round the table dinner time, Pauline, you know, and that was my mum's thing. We always had plenty. We never went hungry, never.

Pauline Quirke12:37

Record number three.

Pauline Quirke12:39

Oh, and the whole of the mountain king.

Pauline Quirke12:42

This was this was a song that they used to play at school when we used to do exercise, you know, in in the hall at school used to do.

Pauline Quirke12:48

I don't know, be an acorn or be a leaf blowing in the wind. And this must have been one of the songs because it's just whenever I hear it, it just brings back.

Pauline Quirke12:56

All those painful exercise classes that you had to do in your knickers and vest.

Presenter14:03

In The Hall of the Mountain King, from Grieg's Piergins Suite number one, played by the New York Philharmonic, conducted by Leonard Bernstein. So any acting job, Pauline Quirk, you could pick up must have been a help financially at at home. You know, what what were the f Dixon and Dot Green I mentioned, aged ten, you were?

Pauline Quirke14:18

That's right, yeah. What did you do? Well the story was that there was myself and my younger sister, the little girl was about six or seven.

Presenter14:20

What did you

Pauline Quirke14:27

I set fire to the house thinking that if I saved my little sister my mum would love me more and that was the general story of it, but it went wrong and the fire got out of control and the police just like they do.

Speaker 114:37

Who lazy?

Pauline Quirke14:38

I had to do a a statement and lovely Jack Fawn and Godress His Style, he was there and But how much would you have been paid? Do you remember?

Speaker 114:43

Uh

Pauline Quirke14:45

Oh, let me see. I suppose it could have been twenty pounds or something like that. My mum was my chaperone on it. I remember we did we filmed it at um

Presenter14:49

That would be a

Pauline Quirke14:52

Ealing.

Presenter14:53

So then that that's what you wanted to do? I mean, did you say to your mum, and did your mum say, Come on, Pauline, you're gonna be

Pauline Quirke14:59

Well no, look, it just I know it sounds ludicrous, it just happened. I mean by the time when I should have been taking my exams and working a bit harder at school to get my exam results, I was working professionally. And basically the headmistress at my school at the time said, look, it's silly I was kind of saying no, you can't do whatever television work because you should be at school studying if that's what you want to do. So in a way this decision was made for me really.

Presenter15:23

And a lot of children of that age would would just sort of not want to do it, I suppose, would be frightened. You obviously have a nat a natural had a natural gift at that stage.

Pauline Quirke15:32

I think the thing to learn, especially with young children, is if you don't get a partner, you mustn't get disappointed or think you're a failure or that you're rubbish or it's just that someone else looked right for the part. What did you look like then?

Presenter15:43

What did you

Presenter15:44

Uh

Pauline Quirke15:44

Yeah.

Pauline Quirke15:44

I did a thing recently and they had a clip of me from when I was about eleven, which is my little girl's age, and I basically we look exactly the same. Very round faced, a little fat faced, long scraggly hair and just a bit more high pitched. I think I was a bit more like that when I was younger. But yeah, I suppose I haven't changed a great deal.

Presenter16:05

So so the mould was cast, really, by the time you were fifteen or so, and in fact at that age you had your own T V chat show on Thames, didn't you? Call Pauline's Quirks? That's right.

Pauline Quirke16:12

It contains

Presenter16:15

Apparently Alan Corran, writing a television critic at the time, called it pubescent smoke.

Pauline Quirke16:20

I know I had to look that word up at the time. I know what it means now. I think what had happened was around the time I did that show was also the time that do you remember the sex pistols were on Bill Grundish and they said a rude word and

Pauline Quirke16:32

And before I knew it, all these kind of teenagers and all that, we all got thrown into the same bag. But was there bad language? No. No, I think probably also as well, bearing in mind that I've got a strong London accent and I was presenting a children's show. At that time, I can't remember all of them, but there was Blue Peter on the BBC and there was Magpie on ITV. So it was fairly unusual for someone with a strong London accent to be presenting a children's programme.

Presenter16:58

Early seventies, what more than twenty years ago?

Pauline Quirke16:59

It's what, more than 20 years ago. Yeah, so I think probably that had something to do with it. Record number four.

Pauline Quirke17:05

Oh, Montego Bay. Now this I love this song just because it just is a nice happy song. It also reminds me of my sister, who doesn't hardly ever drink, but when she has been known to have a few little tipples, this is my sister's song. So whenever I hear it, I see my lovely sister Kitty singing this song.

Speaker 217:30

And Gillian will meet me like a brother.

Speaker 217:34

Think I remember but it's twice as good

Speaker 217:39

Like hot cooler rum is crumbling silver trade I thirst to be thirsty

Speaker 217:47

Sing on room.

Presenter17:53

Bobby Bloom and Montego Bay. Your big successes, Birds and Shine on Harvey Moon, were both devised and written in the first instance by the very successful duo Marks and Gran, Lawrence Marks and Maurice Gran, who are responsible for so many successful television sitcoms. It's amazing, isn't it?

Pauline Quirke18:07

Television sitcoms.

Pauline Quirke18:09

Uh How did they come across you? Linda was already doing Shine on Harvey Moon and they'd already done two series and I came in for the third series with Linda.

Pauline Quirke18:18

And I think they saw Linda and I working together really well and bouncing off each other and from that they wanted to do another idea with Linda and I and I believe Birds of a Feather came from a chance meeting or an overheard conversation, which most of these things do tend to happen from something like that, that Morris heard. These two women, it was Christmas and they'd gone to have Christmas lunch at this posh hotel.

Pauline Quirke18:42

And he heard these two women talking and from what he gathered from their conversation was that they were married to two villains who probably live somewhere like Costa del Sol or whatever, and had taken the chance of coming back to England for Christmas. And from hearing these two women talk, that's how he originally got they originally got the idea for birds. And they met Linda and I and said, Look, we've got this idea, and it's about these two sisters that are married to

Pauline Quirke19:04

to two bank robbers, and one's um got a beautiful house in Chigwell and plenty of money and whatever she wants, and the other sister lives in a horrible tower block somewhere and the lifts don't work and the lifts smell and and we both looked at each other and said, Hmm, I wonder which part we're playing so I got the part of Sharon. We kinda guessed it at best.

Presenter19:22

How does he know?

Pauline Quirke19:24

Oh, we just guessed it straight away. They just kind of the way they said it.

Pauline Quirke19:27

So I knew I'd be Sharon and and Ninja'd be Tracy, but I

Presenter19:30

But that's how they got the idea. It's been remarkably successful. I mean, audiences of fifteen million, you know, and even the repeats, I think, pull in twelve or thirteen.

Pauline Quirke19:36

I think we

Presenter19:38

You must have analysed its success before now.

Pauline Quirke19:41

Well what do you think it is? Well originally when the first ever episode went out I mean there were lots of complaints apparently the next day about the language and and what have you and that kind of drifted away by the time. Well it's because the sisters had a sex aid party I think. That's it could have had something to do with that yes and there was mention of marigolds and yoghurts and what have you but it was because it was new and also same thing again. I think it was women being fairly you know risque and saucy but I always thought that that birds was kind of I don't know like the seaside postcards. It's basically there's a lot of stuff there that is innuendo but I'd never be worried about Emily watching it or or anything like that.

Presenter19:51

Well it's'cause the sisters had a

Pauline Quirke20:18

A seaside postcard

Presenter20:18

Huh.

Pauline Quirke20:19

Not humor. Lot of jokes at Yori Uh

Presenter20:21

Expense is a lot

Pauline Quirke20:21

There's a lot of fat jokes and what have you. And sometimes, funny enough, when we're recording, certain fat jokes seem to be okay and the audience will laugh. And there's been one or two

Presenter20:21

Oh yeah, yeah, the

Pauline Quirke20:33

That you do feel the audience are, whether they're embarrassed for Sharon or embarrassed for Pauline, the actress, I don't know, but you sometimes hear a kind of.

Pauline Quirke20:41

Because it's just been a little bit too much. But I mean, I think Sharon gives as good as she gets, really. There's a difference between cruel and

Speaker 120:46

Hmm.

Pauline Quirke20:48

And some of the stuff that Dorian's had. There was a wonderful thing once about a leather jacket or something and Sharon said, Oh, I'd love something like that and Dorian said, Oh, I'm sure there's a herd with your name on, Sharon. I mean, they're clever and that I don't think that's cruel at all. You don't mind? I do not mind one little bit, no.

Presenter21:01

And you do it, mine.

Pauline Quirke21:05

I'm sure that's why

Presenter21:05

Why the audience draws in its breath that they they would think?

Pauline Quirke21:08

Yeah, it's just Sharon is big, you know, Pauline is big. You can't kind of delude yourself the fact that I'm a eight stone anorexic. I'm not. The only problem I understand is that you every time get terrible nerves before you record it. I'm physically sick.

Presenter21:23

We record it.

Pauline Quirke21:26

every time we have a recording because I think it's'cause the audience are coming in and

Pauline Quirke21:30

And it's just I get in a state. I mean, Linda's in a state as well. Her neck goes she goes all red and blotchy. And Leslie keeps rubbing her hands. That's her nervous thing. So between the three of us, it's not a pretty sight. I know, yeah. Once we've got on there, that's when the kind of show off comes out, I suppose, really, the performer.

Presenter21:41

I wonder it ever gets on.

Pauline Quirke21:48

Once the first scene is over then I can relax into it, and like most actors I hate it to be finished.

Presenter21:53

Extra quick

Pauline Quirke21:54

Oh well, it's it's what I do. It's the kind of the theme tune that Linda and I sing for birds, and it's obviously every time I hear it, it's a very important part of my life.

Presenter22:04

How did you come to sing it? Why did you two decide to sing it?

Pauline Quirke22:06

No, I think they asked us to. They thought it'd be because of the pictures, obviously both of Sharon and Tracy growing up.

Pauline Quirke22:12

And they asked Linda and I to sing the signature tune, and we said to them, Are you sure? Have you heard us sing? Is this a good idea? and they said, It's not meant to be professional singers, it's meant to be Sharon and Tracy singing it.

Pauline Quirke22:22

So, um

Pauline Quirke22:24

We did.

Speaker 222:38

What'll I do?

Speaker 222:41

When I'm alone with only dreams of you that won't come true.

Speaker 222:53

Yeah.

Presenter22:53

What a

Speaker 222:54

Yeah.

Presenter22:54

I do

Presenter22:57

What'll I Do, the theme from Birds of a Feather, sung by Linda Robson and my castaway Pauline Quirk. And that isn't you, those little girls in the Cine film at the the

Pauline Quirke23:06

No, no. They're two little girls that they they

Presenter23:06

Right.

Pauline Quirke23:08

Pick that looked like Linda and I did look when we were that age. Didn't have cine cameras then, or though they did, we didn't know anyone that had one.

Presenter23:15

You you did also sing that rather spooky uh tune, signature tune to the sculptress.

Pauline Quirke23:20

That's right, yeah. Rock of ages. Well originally it was meant to be Love Divine.

Presenter23:20

Absolutely.

Pauline Quirke23:24

And they'd sent me the tape and the words and I listened to it a couple of times and the day we were meant to record it while we were filming, I couldn't remember the tune to save my life and they kind of said, Well, hum hum anything like for this bit and I I was able to do Rock of Ages and then they found the lyrics for Rock of Ages and it actually fitted in extremely well with the story of Sculptress so.

Presenter23:45

I sung that. We haven't mentioned your other successful series, again with Linda, which you did went out about 18 months ago, Jobs for the Girls. It was a sort of.

Pauline Quirke23:51

No jobs for the

Presenter23:54

Really a mixture of challenge Anika and Jimmel Fix It in at the deep end.

Speaker 223:57

Yeah.

Speaker 223:58

Yeah.

Presenter23:59

Uh in which you sang opera, you paraded uh champion dogs at Crafts and so on. Probably not as much fun as it sounds. Very worrying, I would have thought.

Pauline Quirke24:07

Crufts particularly, I mean I'm not a doggy person or what have you, but we did really get to love the dogs and they were of champion standard anyway, so we were worried that we were going to let the dogs down by showing them badly. And Crufts is a big event and we didn't want to make a hash of it really, and we didn't do too badly. Well the dogs done better than we did, but so that was okay.

Presenter24:28

I suppose it's invading other people's lives really, isn't it?

Pauline Quirke24:30

That's right, yeah, and it's very important. We didn't want it to look as if these two actresses were coming along and trying to make a a fool of whatever this particular challenge was, which Lynch and I obviously wanted to do the best job we could.

Presenter24:42

But you must have been terrified. You had to sing

Pauline Quirke24:46

Opera, I think, you learned. That was the worst. I mean, I've kind of over the years, Linda and I have done some things that were pretty petrifying, but Kenwood was.

Pauline Quirke24:55

I just thought I'd never get on the stage. This is open-air opera. Yes, 9,000 people that have paid good money to come along and see.

Presenter24:58

It's not

Pauline Quirke25:02

and here some wonderful singers, and the fantastic Leslie Garrett walks on stage, and who has she got walking behind her?

Pauline Quirke25:09

Linda and I, you know. But we got through it. What did you see? We ruled Britannia.

Presenter25:12

How did you say?

Pauline Quirke25:14

I was also I was due to have Charlie in about four or five weeks afterwards and I remember kept thinking if I can just get through tonight I can go away and have my baby and I got through it. I don't know how but I got through it. But you'd had lessons presumably. Yeah but I mean it takes a long long while. We'd had something like six weeks and maybe four lessons or something. You know it's I think what we said was we're loud and that seemed to get us through it.

Presenter25:36

You're loud and you keep going.

Pauline Quirke25:38

Yeah, that's right. And the same thing again, once it had finished, we didn't want it to. We wanted to go back again. We loved it.

Pauline Quirke25:45

Record number six.

Pauline Quirke25:46

When Linda and I did the last jobs for the girls, it was how to organise a party.

Pauline Quirke25:51

And we had to get the cabaret and the food and everything it was for the Duchess of York's charity.

Pauline Quirke25:55

And uh we thought, let's go for who you'd really, really want to to be at your party. And we tried Shirley Bassey, who we're great fans of, and she couldn't do it, she wasn't in the country.

Pauline Quirke26:05

And Linda said, What about Curtis Stigers? That'd be a dream come true and he was able to do it. He was travelling round Europe, but he came over to England and did did the party for us. And People Like Us is my favourite song of his.

Speaker 226:17

Got no business in love.

Speaker 226:21

Yeah, that's what the people say.

Speaker 226:25

People like them got nothing better to do than chase their dreams away.

Speaker 226:33

Well I finally found you and I won't let go They say it's never gonna last but baby what do they know when they say people like us got no business

Presenter26:47

Curtis Steigers and People Like Us.

Presenter26:50

Money must have made a huge difference to your life, Paulie.

Pauline Quirke26:53

Oh yeah, yeah, it does. I mean I think what it does is it gives you the

Pauline Quirke26:57

The freedom. I mean, it's lovely to go to restaurants and holidays, but the thing is

Pauline Quirke27:02

I suppose if you could go to restaurants every night of the week then it wouldn't be such a treat. It's like holidays, isn't it? If you could

Pauline Quirke27:08

go all the time, then it gives you that freedom, you know. But yeah, I still kind of sweat when the gas bill comes in and the electric bill because

Pauline Quirke27:17

It's not a bottomless pit. I mean, yeah, obviously I'm doing very well and

Presenter27:21

But that's really what I'm asking. I'm I wonder if, you know,'cause you were you were brought up with things being pretty tight as we've discussed, whether old habits die hard, actually.

Pauline Quirke27:29

Oh yeah, I still kind of won't. I mean, I look at the price of some things and think, absolutely no way, you know, or Emily will see some and say, No, Emily, it's too expensive. I mean, she doesn't need any more stationary, God bless her.

Presenter27:40

What's the greatest luxury in pure material terms, you know, or that you've bought? What have you bought the purpose of the purpose of?

Pauline Quirke27:46

The pleasure I get more

Pauline Quirke27:48

really than anything is to see my children playing out in I've got a big garden.

Pauline Quirke27:52

And I see my children play out in the garden. I've got a swing and I've got a slide and

Pauline Quirke27:57

Charlie's got a little bike thing. And and just to see that. I mean, I think probably the garden is roughly the same kind of play area that we had the nearest park when I was a child. We went to the park because you didn't have gardens.

Pauline Quirke28:08

So I think really seeing the children playing out in the garden on a summer's day is just, to me, priceless.

Presenter28:13

So space and fresh air is really what you brought.

Pauline Quirke28:15

Yeah, yeah.

Presenter28:16

Um and your mother, Hetty, died some years ago, but did did she did she live to see you make it big?

Pauline Quirke28:22

No, mummy died in march, eighty nine, and we started birds in the August, so she never saw.

Pauline Quirke28:28

Birds were feathered, but she saw Harvey Moon and she'd seen like success before to a certain degree. I did Angels and stuff like that. And my mum was the type of mum that she'd be saying to people in shops, Oh, did you see Paul leaning out and go, Mum, shut up, don't let her saying to minicab drivers, Do you know who this is? Do you see my daughter? She's on television

Pauline Quirke28:47

She was the best publicity agent in the world, mum was.

Presenter28:50

And and you still, I understand, keep a handbag behind the city?

Pauline Quirke28:53

Yeah. Yeah, it was just well, because

Presenter28:55

It was just a little bit.

Pauline Quirke28:56

Mummy went to a a a hospice, St Joseph's in Hackney.

Pauline Quirke29:01

And she knew that she obviously knew then that she was dying. And when the ambulance came to take her this particular day, to take her back to St Joseph's, which I thought was just for respite care,

Pauline Quirke29:11

But mummy obviously knew that she was dying and she said, Should I put my handbag behind the setting? It had her bits and pie you know, like National Insurance card and bits and pieces. Should I want you just to put that behind the setting so you can put your hands on it if you need it?

Pauline Quirke29:23

And it's still there. It's just one of those things I won't change.

Pauline Quirke29:28

Record number seven. Record number seven. Well, it's to do with Hetty really. It's um wind beneath my wings. It's

Pauline Quirke29:35

She was my best friend and she was also and still is she is my my hero. She was just the most incredibly wonderful, warm, loving person. And whenever I hear this song it just sums up mummy for me. She was a great, great lady and she was most the biggest influence on my life.

Speaker 229:54

Did you ever know that you're my hero?

Speaker 230:02

Everything I

Speaker 230:04

Uh

Speaker 230:13

Got an ego.

Speaker 230:18

You are the wind and me.

Presenter30:20

My wing

Presenter30:24

Wind Beneath My Wings sung by Bette Midler. What are you going to do on a desert island all day, Pawnee?

Pauline Quirke30:30

Boom. Read I love to read. It's one of those luxuries that you take for granted before you have children.

Presenter30:36

What will you eat?

Pauline Quirke30:36

What will you eat? What will I eat? Cheese sandwiches will probably keep me happy for a long while. I do like my channel. I don't think there'll be any cheese sandwiches.

Presenter30:41

Why do you think there'll be any cheese and cheese?

Presenter30:47

Could be

Pauline Quirke30:49

Four stars.

Presenter30:52

Do you often go on a diet?

Pauline Quirke30:54

Well, now and again you kind of cut back a bit, sort of thing, but no, I couldn't. But you don't need to in the sense that the part requires that you shouldn't really, the bird's part. Well, yes, I wouldn't want to get much bigger, put it that way.

Presenter30:58

No, because I think it's a good idea.

Pauline Quirke31:06

If I go on the island I won't have to, we like

Presenter31:08

Yeah, it could be your big moment. And what will you or your little modes what will you dream of doing professionally, you know, as you sit there on the island after twenty six years of appearing in public in all your various modes, you know, serious and light hearted, factual and fictional? What do you still want to achieve? What do you want to do?

Presenter31:26

Yeah.

Pauline Quirke31:27

I love the fact that you never know what's going to happen next. I mean sculptress kind of came from nowhere and it was incredible and I loved doing it.

Pauline Quirke31:34

The thing I love to do is just different stuff, good quality different stuff. I love doing radio as well. I love doing radio plays.

Pauline Quirke31:41

they're really interesting and you feel that at the end of the day, cool, yeah, I really enjoyed that. It's the luxury that I've got with with my job really. I'm not working all the time, nine to five. I'm able to be at home with the children. I'm able to be there most of the time.

Pauline Quirke31:54

And then if I have got a long stint away, then I'll just make sure that they're they're with me. So whatever comes along next that I'm going to enjoy doing and hopefully can make a good job of really.

Pauline Quirke32:05

Last record. Oh, last well when Emily was about two, two and a half, I suppose she would have been, maybe a little bit older. I think she'd been about about four. This record came out and she loved it. It was it was her song. And uh whenever I hear this I just I just see my little Emily dancing to it.

Speaker 232:22

So far, aye, aye, aye, aye, and she's so bad, bad, bad. She's rushed.

Speaker 232:30

I am

Speaker 232:35

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Speaker 232:40

I just gotta make it for one of me.

Speaker 232:44

Well, have you ever seen a girl for whom it's all you dim, for whom you fight for, or die, for prayer to God,

Presenter32:52

Jackie Wilson and Reet Petit. If you could only take one of those eight records, which one would it be?

Presenter32:57

Uh

Pauline Quirke32:57

I think it probably would be I Will Survive because the others really would remind me of my family and what have you and I think that'd make me sad and miserable and make it all

Pauline Quirke33:06

The day's much longer. What about your book? Oh, my book. It's Bob Munkhouse's autobiography called Crying With Laughter. And I read it recently and I've read it since again. It's not many books that I've read twice, but it's just a very honest, warm book. There's a lot of nastiness about it, not particularly in show business, but it can be fairly cutthroat. And what comes out of that book is a very genuine, sincere man. And it just made me happy. It makes me laugh. It made me cry with laughter, some of the stories in it.

Pauline Quirke33:35

What about your luxury?

Pauline Quirke33:37

My luxury would be shampoo.

Pauline Quirke33:39

I'm a r I just have to keep washing my hair. I wash my hair twice a day probably. So shampoo, very um

Pauline Quirke33:46

Very basic, but shampoo, I couldn't bear my hair to be dirty, that'd drive me mad.

Presenter33:50

Pauline Quirk, thank you very much indeed for letting us hear your desert island discs. Thank you.

Speaker 134:02

You've been listening to a podcast from the Desert Islandists archive. For more podcasts please visit bbc.co.uk slash radio four.