Dickie Bird

Speaker 30:00

Hello, I'm Kirsty Young, and this is a podcast from the Desert Island Disc's Archive. For rights reasons we've had to shorten the music. The programme was originally broadcast in nineteen ninety six, and the presenter was Sue Lawley.

Presenter0:28

My castaway this week is an umpire. The game of cricket has absorbed his whole life, from his childhood in Barnsley through his years as a professional batsman, to his time as the embodiment of justice on the field of play. In sixty five Test matches, ninety two One Day Internationals and three World Cup finals, he's kept his temper and his judgment, despite confrontations with streakers, angry spectators or over excited players. A tribute which particularly pleases him came from Ian Botham, who once said that he was the best umpire that had ever lived fair, honest, consistent and bonkers. He is Harold Dickey Bird.

Presenter1:07

Bonkers and Barmy are adjectives that go why do they all say this about you, Dickie?

Dickie Bird1:12

I've always been of a very highly strung nature. Mannerisms I do on the field I don't realise I'm doing. And I think this is where they all get this bonkers from.

Presenter1:21

But it's I mean, obviously you have made the players laugh. I mean you've had some they've played a lot of practical jokes on you in your time, haven't they?

Dickie Bird1:27

They were always taking the Mickey out of me on the middle, and I I miss Alan Lamb and Ian Botham out there because not only were they were good players, they were characters. In a Test match at Trentbridge, Alan Lamb came out to bat for England at number four. England had lost two quick wickets, and I was at square leg.

Dickie Bird1:45

And the pitch was

Dickie Bird1:47

over there away from me and Lamb came from the pavilion and he's coming towards me at square leg and I thought to myself, What's he doing coming towards me? Has his eyes gone? And have my eyes gone? And he came up to me, he said, Dickie, I said, What's your problem? He said, I f forgot. My mobile phone's in my pocket. He said, I forgot to take it out of my pocket. I want you to look after it.

Dickie Bird2:08

And if it rings, answer it. I said, You must be joking. We're in the middle of a Tess match, man. He said, Put it in your pocket. If it rings, answer it. And off he wobbled away to take guard of my

Dickie Bird2:18

Fella umpire. And the Test match is going on and Lammy's playing away, and after about six or seven overs.

Dickie Bird2:25

The phone rings in my pocket.

Dickie Bird2:27

I said, Oh no. I said, Lamm it, phone's ringing. He said, Well, answer it, man. I said, We're in the middle of a test match, man. He said, Answer it. So I pulled it out of my pocket. I said, Hello. Who's there? This is Ian Botham ringing from the dressing room. Tell that fella Lam to play a few shots and get out. I said, Lammy, you have to play a few shots and get out. But you know, Sue.

Presenter2:49

Very relaxed. I mean, can you afford to be that and at the same time command their respect?

Dickie Bird2:50

Yeah.

Dickie Bird2:54

Well, I think so, yes. I think you've got to smile. You've got to.

Dickie Bird2:58

have a joke on the field. It helps to break the tension. That's what sport's all about. I like to think that I've always had the respect of every professional cricketer throughout the world, throughout the cricketing world.

Presenter3:09

Tell me about your first record for this desert island.

Dickie Bird3:12

Oh, it's not ginkgo when I fall in love.

Presenter3:14

Why?

Dickie Bird3:15

I don't know, it might bring back uh some happy memories to my youth and my love life.

Dickie Bird3:21

So but I I think Nat King Call is a tremendous artist, great professional.

Dickie Bird3:30

And the more men.

Speaker 43:31

I can feel that.

Speaker 43:37

You feel that way too.

Speaker 43:43

Is when I fall in love.

Speaker 43:48

With you

Presenter3:52

Natkin Cole and When I Fall in Love. How old were you when you fell in love with cricket, Dickie?

Dickie Bird3:57

When I was at school, uh in those days we played football and cricket at school. That's when it all started.

Presenter4:05

This was Barnsley in the nineteen thirties.

Dickie Bird4:06

And then during the war. And then up to when I left school in 1948.

Presenter4:08

And then during the war

Presenter4:12

But were you captain of the school teams and things?

Dickie Bird4:14

Yeah, I captained the school team at football and I scapped I captained the school team at cricket and and I went to Burton Roe primary school, then to Rayleigh Secondary Modern School and at Burton Roe Primary School and Raleigh Secondary Modern School. My close friend was Tommy Taylor, who went on to play for Manchester United in England, who lost his life at Munich in the nineteen fifty eight air disaster. And we were very, very close friends and we used to practise for hours together. And it's amazing, you know, Sue. Tommy's father and my father worked at the same coal face down the mines. So did Michael Parkinson's father. He worked at another local colliery and Geoffrey Boycott's father. But when you think the names I've just mentioned, we were all kids and all our fathers worked down the same more or less the same coal mines and and it's amazing. I think we had a good upbringing. My mum and dad always made sure that I went to church.

Dickie Bird5:07

There were always whatever we wanted, a good table, food was good.

Presenter5:11

But did you have all the equipment to play on? Did you have proper bats and balls to play on?

Dickie Bird5:14

And things like that. No, that's a good point, Sue. We didn't. We used to have to make our own cricket bats in those days from old pieces of wood and with tin round it and everything and our footballs was stuffed with old rags and things like that. But I think it helped us to succeed in later years. It gave us this will to succeed in in our chosen professions. When I left school, I went to Barsey Cricket Club as a fifteen year old boy at Barsey Cricket Club.

Presenter5:39

But your teachers told you that you were only any good at sport, did that shit.

Dickie Bird5:41

Well, that's right, Mike. My report sheets were good advice for Dickie. Tell him to stick to sport.

Presenter5:49

But your dad was a miner, as you said, but he he wouldn't have wanted you to go down the pit, I presume.

Dickie Bird5:51

Yeah.

Dickie Bird5:53

No, that is correct. My father wanted me to play sport.

Dickie Bird5:57

He said it was a clean living and a good living. Then he encouraged me as a youngster to play sports.

Presenter6:03

And and did you live to see you get to the top as a live?

Dickie Bird6:05

He lived me to s he lived to see me play uh county cricket so but uh

Dickie Bird6:12

He never saw me umpire. I was very sad about that, because

Dickie Bird6:16

I would have loved now, Sue, to give him things that he never had in life, you know what I mean? And uh.

Dickie Bird6:22

He never saw me umpire. And I remember going to hospital to visit him so in june nineteen sixty-nine. He was in hospital, and and I said to him, Dad,

Dickie Bird6:30

I'm thinking about becoming a first class cricket umpire.

Dickie Bird6:34

And he he looked at me and said, Well, whatever you do, son, I wish you the best And he died the next day. So he never saw me umpire, which was very sad, so

Dickie Bird6:44

Yeah.

Presenter6:44

Uh

Dickie Bird6:44

Tell me about your second record. Uh my second record is Abide With Me.

Dickie Bird6:48

My mum and dad always made me go to church.

Dickie Bird6:52

Uh my father made me join the YMCA as a young man. He was a member as well, the YMCA, the Young Men's Christian Association.

Dickie Bird6:59

I've always gone to church, Sue. I still go to church and uh

Dickie Bird7:04

I think that early upbringing by my parents making me go to church has certainly

Dickie Bird7:09

helped me throughout my career and and that's the reason I've chose Abide With Me.

Speaker 47:15

Store its losses as my spirit or death.

Speaker 47:25

God's joys pro days boss away.

Speaker 47:36

Ancient decay what I round I see

Speaker 47:49

Our change has not

Presenter8:02

Abide With Me, sung by the choir of King's College, Cambridge. So sport was the great escape in in Barnsley, Yorkshire. You and Parkey were opening batsmen for in post war Barnsley, weren't you?

Dickie Bird8:11

That's right, Sue. When I left school in nineteen forty eight, I went to Barsley Cricket Club and I opened the innings there with Michael Parkinson, and we had a young lad called Geoffrey Boycott who batted in that side at number six, but of course he was still at school, he was at Emsworth Grammar School.

Presenter8:27

But did you spot then that he was a star?

Dickie Bird8:29

No, I didn't. I'll be honest with you. I thought he would make himself into a probably an average county cricketer.

Dickie Bird8:36

But he had this will, this determination, this concentration, this belief that he had in himself and I remember him saying to me he was only sixteen no one had heard of Geoffrey Boycott he hadn't even been to the Yorkshire Nets, I don't think and he said to me, Dickie,

Dickie Bird8:51

He said, By the time I am twenty four I shall have the three lions of England on my chest, and I shall be opening for England. And he did it.

Presenter9:00

And he's treated you to a few sumptuous dinners in your time, hasn't he?

Dickie Bird9:02

Not really. I can't get into his place, so I live about a mile and a half from him and he's got s oh his walls about ten feet high.

Dickie Bird9:12

round his gardens and it's impossible for and he invited me to uh come one day to have lunch with him.

Dickie Bird9:19

And uh all his gates were locked and he's got all these electronic devices, you see. I pressed this button, I s this voice said, Hello, I s he said, Who's there?

Dickie Bird9:28

I said, Dicky Bird, come to have lunch with you, Geoffrey.

Dickie Bird9:32

Can't enter? I said, What? You've just invited me.

Dickie Bird9:35

I'm sorry, can't enter. I thought, oh dear. So I climbed up his wall and then I jumped.

Dickie Bird9:42

and I managed to grab a branch of a tree and lower myself into his ground.

Dickie Bird9:47

And then I went up and knocked on his door.

Dickie Bird9:50

He said, How do you get in here?

Dickie Bird9:52

I said

Dickie Bird9:53

Geoffrey, you've invited me and I've got in. He said, Well, you better come in now and he said, We'll have some lunch in a minute. So I sat down and I thought, Well, we'll have some roast beef and Yorkshire puddings.

Dickie Bird10:03

And he said, We'll have lunch now. And he said, I said, What's this? Lunch? He said, Well, it's a toasted cheese sandwich. Hope you enjoy it.

Dickie Bird10:11

Eat it quickly, and he says, When you go out, when you go back he said, I don't want you stopping here long. Make sure that you walk down the pathway. I don't want you walking on my lawns, he said

Dickie Bird10:21

But is he serious? Do you know, Sue, when we were in the World Cup in nineteen eighty si six, eighty seven, he said to me, We'll have dinner together tonight, Dickie. I said, Marvellous, Geoffrey.

Presenter10:30

Yeah, sir.

Dickie Bird10:32

He said,'I'll meet you in the foyer of the of the Charge Palace in Delhi'. So I arrived and he came.

Dickie Bird10:38

And we went to the shop, the little shop in the foyer, and he went in. He said,'A bar of cadberries, fruit, and nut chocolate'. I thought,'What's he doing'? And he came out and he snapped it in half. He said,'That's half for you, and'half for me. He said,'That's your dinner.

Presenter10:53

He's just trying to live up to his reputation.

Dickie Bird10:56

Yeah.

Dickie Bird10:58

I'll tell you this, and I've told him. I said you can't take your money with you, Boykes, but he will. He'll get it in that coffin when they bury him, Sue, and I've told him I hope I'm still around'cause I dig it up.

Presenter11:09

Let's have some more music. Number three, what's that?

Dickie Bird11:13

Oh Barbara Strice

Dickie Bird11:15

And the way we were. That's another great professional artist. I don't know whether you did you know Vic Lewis, Sue? He was a man, he's a big cricket fanatic, he's always at Lords, and he was a man who used to handle all the great all the great artists when they came to England. He used to look after them like an agent. And I remember I said to him once, I said, Vic, of all the great artists that you've se you've handled when they come to England, who would you say is the best you've ever seen? He said, Dickie, there's only been two. He said, Nat King Cole and Barbara Streiser.

Speaker 411:51

He's like the corners of my mind.

Speaker 411:59

Miss Steve Warder Calamary.

Speaker 412:04

Yeah.

Speaker 412:06

Of the way we w

Presenter12:12

Barbara Streisand and The Way We Were. So, Dickie Bird, you signed for Yorkshire in 1952, aged nineteen, Yorkshire Colt. How would you rate yourself as a player?

Dickie Bird12:21

I thought I was a gut county cricketer, no more than a gut county cricketer, Sue, and uh when I was at Yorkshire with such a great side in those days, we kept winning the championship every year. It was a tremendous side. I'm talking about players like Freddie Truman, Brian Close, Raymond Illingworth, Don Wilson.

Dickie Bird12:38

Ken Taylor, Brian Stott, Dougie Patch. It was a tremendous side, and it was difficult to get a regular place in the side. You never did.

Presenter12:45

You never did get one, did you?

Dickie Bird12:46

No, I didn't. So I I once scored one hundred and eighty-one not out for Yorkshire on a bat pitch at Bratford Park Avenue against Glamorgan who had some very, very good spin ballers. And I thought to myself, Well, surely they'll select me for the next couple of matches. And I came off the field and I was taking my pads off in the dressing room and my gloves, and the Yorkshire chairman in those days was Brian Sellers, and he came into the dressing room, he said, Well played, Birdie.

Dickie Bird13:12

That's played well there, but get thee head down. We've dropped thee into the second team, he said. So they dropped me. I said thank you I know, but I said thank you very much, Mr Sellers. But you know, in those days it took thirty nine of them to drop me because there was thirty nine on the selection committee.

Speaker 413:18

That's it.

Speaker 313:19

Exactly.

Presenter13:29

But you did stay for a long time, did you? About eight years or something?

Dickie Bird13:31

Check that.

Dickie Bird13:32

A lot of peop that's a lot of people thought I left Yorkshire then, but I didn't, so I kept playing in and out of the side.

Presenter13:38

But eventually you went to less.

Dickie Bird13:39

Eventually I went to last year.

Presenter13:40

And you've said since that it was like batting in a graveyard.

Dickie Bird13:43

Well, Leicestershire were bottom of the county championship table. To play in a a struggling side, Sue, it's very, very hard work. And people were looking on to me coming from Yorkshire.

Dickie Bird13:55

Uh you know what I mean. Uh and I didn't have a lot of success at Western.

Presenter13:58

You must have been very miserable.

Dickie Bird14:00

I was yes, I was miserable and down.

Presenter14:02

How long did you stick it?

Dickie Bird14:03

I stuck it there for about six years.

Presenter14:06

So you were never to make it to the top as a player. When did it dawn on you that there was another way of getting on to those Test pitches by becoming an umpire?

Dickie Bird14:09

When did it

Dickie Bird14:14

Well, in nineteen sixty nine I was watching Yorkshire play at Headingley, and some of the Yorkshire players came to me and said Have you ever thought of becoming an umpire?

Dickie Bird14:24

a first class cricket umpire, because that is when you've played first class cricket all your life, umpire is probably the next best thing to play in the game. So I said, What umpire? and I just laughed at them. I said, You must be joking.

Dickie Bird14:38

And I left Eddingley and I thought there might be something in that Sioux, so I wrote to Lords to apply for the first class county umpire's list, and I was accepted in November nineteen sixty nine.

Dickie Bird14:49

And I did my first match in 1970 on the county list, and that's how it all started. And the rest is a 27-year history, and you've seen

Presenter14:55

And you've seen'em all off. Seen'em come.

Dickie Bird14:56

I've seen them all. So it's unbelievable. When you think of Dennis Lilly, Greg Chappell, Ian Chappell, Rodney Marsh, Clive Lloyd, Sonya Gavaska, Jeffrey Boycott, Ian Botham, David Gower, Graham Gooch, Michael Olding, Andy Roberts, I can go on and on and on. I saw'em all start as young men on the Test match scene. They've all retired, all finished, and I'm still umpiring Test matches.

Dickie Bird15:20

Record number four. Oh, record number four, Sue. The band of the Grenadier Guards. You you know, I always like a quick march, and when they do have the bands at Lord's occasionally, when you walk down those steps at Lords, through the members' long room and down the steps, and you hear the bands playing, oh, it gives you a tremendous thrill, you know.

Presenter16:37

Band of the Grenadier Guards playing the Rodetzky March. So, Dickie, you umpired your first first class match in nineteen seventy at the Oval, and apparently you arrived very early, as you do. How early, and what happened?

Dickie Bird16:50

I remember it was my first match and I travelled down from Yorkshire on the Friday and I thought, well, I'll get in I'll get in easily to one of the hotels in London, but I didn't realise it was the Rugby League Cup final.

Dickie Bird17:01

And I couldn't get into any hotel in London that were awful. And eventually I got into a small hotel in Swiss Cottage, and I thought, Good God, that's a good way from the Orville. I've got to get across the river and

Dickie Bird17:13

So I said to the night porter, I'd like a call for four thirty, half past four, please. He said, What? He said, Where you going? I said, I've got to get to the Oval. He said, What time's the start? I said, Eleven o'clock. He said, You must be joking. I said, Cup of tea, that's all I want. A little bit of toast, four thirty. So I got up at four thirty and had my toast and everything. And of course, I went straight through London, no trouble. When I arrived at the Oval at six o'clock in the morning, for a I think it were eleven thirty start in those days, nineteen seventy. I thought, Well, I'm a bit early here. And I couldn't get into the ground because uh all the gates were locked, of course. And I thought, Well, what am I going to do? I'll try and climb over the gates at the oval. They were all locked. So I threw my bag over the gates and started climbing over the gates. And I just got to the top and I heard this London bobby said, Now then, what do you think you're doing up there? I said, Well, officer, to tell you the truth, I know you're not going to believe me, but my ball's gone over the wall. He said, You come down here.

Presenter18:10

You calm down.

Dickie Bird18:11

So when I explained to him who I was and everything, and I showed him my pass to get into the ground, and I was officiating Surrey v. Yorkshire starting at eleven thirty today, he said

Dickie Bird18:21

I've seen it all, he said, and I've heard it all, and we sat there and had a good laugh together. I think he sat wi he stayed with me for about an hour, just natzing away till the groutstaff arrived to open the gate so we could I could get in.

Presenter18:34

But you've arrived early at Downing Street for drinks with Mrs Thatcher. You've arrived early at Checkers for lunch with John Major. You've arrived early at Buckingham Palace for lunch with the Queen.

Dickie Bird18:39

John May

Dickie Bird18:46

Well, when when I was invited to have lunch with the Queen Sue, that was

Dickie Bird18:52

'Cause I am a royalist, and that was the best day of my life, so a day I shall always remember for as long as I live. I had to be at Buckingham Palace for

Dickie Bird19:01

Quarter to one. So I thought, quarter to one, I've got to get there early. So

Dickie Bird19:06

I left home at uh five o'clock in the morning to catch the two minutes past six train from Wakefield. And when I got on to the platform, just as the train I I got on the platform, the train was pulling in the two minutes past six train.

Dickie Bird19:21

My tickets to get into Buckingham Palace.

Dickie Bird19:24

Oh, no, I've left them. The guard said, What's your problem? He recognized me, Dick. He has some tickets. I've left them in the car.

Dickie Bird19:30

And the engine driver, the train driver, said, Well, I'm sorry, Dicky recognized me, but I've got to go.

Dickie Bird19:36

Oh, I said,'Come on, mate, please let me just go get me tickets, except for you, Dicky. I'll hold the train up,' he said,'But I wouldn't hold the train up for thee mate boycott, he said.

Dickie Bird19:47

But for you, yes. And do you know, Sue? I arrived at Buckingham Palace at quarter twenty to nine. I thought, oh dear, I'm a bit early.

Dickie Bird19:55

So the police recognised me and said,'What are you doing, Dicky? Are you sightseeing? It's not cricket season,'cause it was November. I said,'No, I've been invited to have lunch with the Queen'. So I showed em my past. I said,'What, quarter one? It's only twenty to nine.

Dickie Bird20:08

I said, Oh, I know a little coffee shop round corner from Buckingham Palace. I'll go and sit there. So I went round in the little coffee shop.

Dickie Bird20:15

And I sat there for four hours.

Dickie Bird20:17

And I came back and they said, Well, we've got to have the changing of the guards. Yet, Dickie, we can't stop that for Dickie Bird. Oh, I said, Oh, dear, so I waited till they had the changing of the guards and said, Right, you can go through now and I went through, Sue, and it was the best day of my life. Next record. Oh, land of hope and glory. Now, as I said to you, Sue, I am a royalist, and I always remember, if I may tell you this, in nineteen seventy seven, the Queen's Silver Jubilee Year, England were playing Australia at t at Lord's, and the two teams and the umpires, we were invited to Clarence House to have drinks with the Queen Mother. And when I was introduced to the Queen Mother, she said to me, Dickie, I said, Yes, ma'am. She said, You haven't been wearing your white cap at Lord's today. I said, No, I haven't, because it was overcast, ma'am. She said, I know, she said, I always know it's you with all your mannerisms when you

Dickie Bird21:07

You held but you're twisting your arms and and you and you've got your white caps. She said, I always know it's you and it's things like that so money can't buy.

Presenter22:14

Part of Elgar's Pomp and Circumstance, March No. one, Land of Hope and Glory, played by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra conducted by Andre Previn. What do you keep in the pockets of your little white coat, dear?

Dickie Bird22:25

Oh, dear Sue. I keep everything in there. Chewing gum. The players are always asking me for chewing gum. I say I keep saying to them, It's about time you bought your own chewing gum.

Presenter22:34

It costs you a bit.

Dickie Bird22:35

That's what I say. My little counters, which are miniature red barrels,

Dickie Bird22:40

A penknife, a spare rag in case the ball gets wet, a spare cricket ball, spare bale, scissors, they come in handy, scissors. I always remember in the Test match at Alt Trafford, Sunil Gavaska, the great Indian opening batsman, was batting and the

Presenter22:50

I owe

Dickie Bird22:57

When he got to the non strikers' end he said, Dickie, he said, Have you any scissors? I said, Yes, I have.

Dickie Bird23:02

I said, What do you want them for? He said, My uh fringe is coming down over my eye, so the scissors came in handy. I just

Dickie Bird23:10

Clipped the front of his hair off and said, Thank you very much. So the sitters come in handy for that.

Dickie Bird23:15

Laster plus in case someone grazes their arm or hand or anything and oh, so many things that go on and on through.

Presenter23:21

Needle and cotton

Dickie Bird23:21

A neat needle and cotton, yeah?

Presenter23:23

Running repairs done

Dickie Bird23:23

Run and repairs, that's right. Everything.

Presenter23:26

You always look very worried out on the field. I mean, you are very familiar to us all with all those sweaters tied round your waist and so on. And then suddenly you you know, you leave your spot if there's a kind of dubious catch and you rush across to talk to the fielder who's claiming he's caught somebody. What what are you saying to him in that?

Dickie Bird23:41

Well, there's times, especially with a catch on the boundary when the umpire is ninety yards away, it's very, very difficult to see if the fielder has caught it clearly.

Presenter23:41

What

Dickie Bird23:49

He may have stepped over the line, he may have just touched the line. So if there's any doubt, I go to the fielder, I run all the ninety yards, and I go to him and I eye ball him eye to eye and I said to him,

Dickie Bird24:01

I am a church goer. I go to church. I want you to be honest with me, young man. Did you catch that fairly and cleanly?

Dickie Bird24:11

Because the good Lord is watching us, I want you to be honest.

Dickie Bird24:16

Work so I get them the shacking like this

Presenter24:20

And what about when when, you know, there's bad language? Do you use the same kind of technique?

Dickie Bird24:25

I remember in a Tess match at Eddingley.

Dickie Bird24:28

Mervy News, who has now retired from Test match cricket, he was a tremendous character, a great competitor on the field. And I remember he was balling to Gremick at Eddingley, and he was swearing at Gremick.

Dickie Bird24:41

So I said to him,'Merve,'I don't want you swearing at that man. Grahamic, he's done you no harm. Why are you swearing at him? I don't want you swearing at him' and he walked past me to ball the next balding Mervy looked at me.

Dickie Bird24:58

And he said,

Dickie Bird25:00

Dicky Bird

Dickie Bird25:01

You're a legend.

Dickie Bird25:03

Let's have some more music. Record number six. So Julio Inglacius singing uh singing Feelings with Pam Bunning. I don't know who she is, Pam Bunning. It's a mystery to us all that.

Speaker 425:20

For all my life I feel

Speaker 425:26

I wish I never met you.

Speaker 425:32

Do you mind go?

Speaker 425:40

Very

Presenter25:43

Feelings, sung by Julio Iglesias with, you're quite right Dickey, Pam Bunning.

Presenter25:49

Um, there's an increasing use of the third umpire these days, the television set in the pavilion, um, ready to show an action replay to the umpire in it. Do you approve, Dickie, of these kind of electronic aids?

Dickie Bird25:59

I think the electronic aid is a tremendous help to the umpire for the close run outs and the close stumpings.

Presenter26:08

Because it's going to show something from an angle that you can't necessarily see.

Dickie Bird26:10

That's a good point. That is correct. And so it is tremendous for those close decisions, but I would not like to see come in for LBW decisions, the bat pad decisions, the uh court behind decisions, because I feel sure Electronic Air cannot help you with that because it's not.

Presenter26:31

Because again, it isn't in the right position and you are.

Dickie Bird26:34

Correct. LBW's, the the the cameras are too high for a start. And also you're so many things to take into consideration, where the ball has bought from, as I said earlier, how much it's done on the seam and everything. And for the court behind, you hear all sorts of noises stood there as the umpire, and the bat pads, which is very difficult. I cannot see where Electronic Cake can help you with that.

Presenter26:51

Mm-hmm.

Presenter26:55

But there's something more than that, isn't there? I mean, in a sense, controversy. I mean, the the whole business of of people appealing, how's that i it's all part of the game somehow, isn't it? And it's rather sad to try and make it perfect. Its imperfections are part of its charm, aren't they?

Dickie Bird27:08

Is it part of it?

Dickie Bird27:10

I think with the vast amount of money, winning now means everything, and winning is not everything in life.

Dickie Bird27:17

To win we all like to win, don't get me wrong, Sue. But sport's to be enjoyed. And once you lose that enjoyment, Sue, you're lost. You might as well pack it up.

Presenter27:27

England has been having a terrible time for a long time now. What what's the problem, Dickie?

Dickie Bird27:28

Terror.

Dickie Bird27:30

Yeah.

Dickie Bird27:31

I think that uh

Dickie Bird27:33

We're playing too much cricket. I think we're playing too many one day international matches. I think that the lads are stale at the moment. I do honestly. And now I know what you're going to say. It's more than that.

Dickie Bird27:45

I think, Sue, that we've got some good young cricketers in England now. I think we've got some good young players. And I think these young players, Sue, have got to be given their chance. I do honestly.

Dickie Bird27:56

What is there to lose now? Might as well throw them in.

Presenter27:59

Record number seven.

Dickie Bird28:00

At record number seven, Shirley Bass is singing Till.

Presenter28:03

Why do you want that?

Dickie Bird28:05

She's a tremendous professional, anyway. I'll say that. But then again, it brings back

Dickie Bird28:08

So happy memories of my early youth, my love life, and I was in y when I was a young man.

Presenter28:15

And it still makes you cry, by the way.

Dickie Bird28:16

You still I still

Dickie Bird28:17

But the a the artists I've got here are tremendous, great professionals.

Speaker 428:27

The moon deserts the sky

Speaker 428:34

Till all the seas run dry

Speaker 428:42

Till then I'll worship you.

Presenter28:51

Shirley Bassey and Till bringing back memories for you, Dickie, of of your love life. You men keep mentioning this love life. You've n never married.

Dickie Bird28:59

I never married. So I came close to marriage uh when I younger on two occasions. And uh I never married. The reason I'll give you the reason. I signed for Yorkshire when n I was nineteen, so so I've lived out of a suitcase all my life.

Dickie Bird29:14

And I don't think I could have been fair to a woman, Sue.

Dickie Bird29:18

Because I'd be worrying, What is she doing? She would be worrying, What am I doing? I never married, but if I've missed something in life, I've missed having a family. That's one thing I've missed, love. If I could have had a lad, if he'd have played local cricket, it would have given me so much pleasure, and that's one thing that I've missed in life.

Dickie Bird29:37

Not having a family.

Presenter29:38

Hmm.

Presenter29:39

So what what will happen after June when when you umpire your last test, your sixty-sixth and and then

Dickie Bird29:45

Yeah.

Presenter29:47

You know, you you spend all these years being footloose and fancy free, but now you don't have to go out of the house if you don't.

Dickie Bird29:53

Well, the thing is, Sue, is that I'm finishing at international level this summer.

Dickie Bird30:00

I shall be sixty three, and then I have one season left which I shall umpire on the county circuit after that, and then I'm sixty five, so then we have to go anyway. That's the law of the Teston County Cricket Board. But I do hope that I have health and strength at sixty five, because I still would like to be involved with cricket, because if I go and sit in my seventeenth century cottage at home, Sue, sit in that chair at sixty five years o of age and start worrying and thinking about everything and inventing things to worry about, which I do, I won't live twelve months after that, and I mean that. I shall go all over the world watching cricket because cricket's been my life. I've been married to cricket, as you say.

Dickie Bird30:42

And uh I just hope I've some good health.

Presenter30:44

Can you imagine how you will feel on june twentieth, your last appearance at international level at Lourdes, when you walk down that long room you've described and out and down the steps?

Dickie Bird30:58

Mm-hmm.

Dickie Bird30:58

I've got a lump in me throat now, Sue.

Dickie Bird31:01

When I walked down those steps through the members and that long room at Lord's because Lord's is something special to me, so

Dickie Bird31:10

It's been my second home throughout my career. And when I walk through the long room, through the members, down the members' enclosure, on to the green at Lord's, out to the middle, I've a tear in my eye now, so I shall shed a few tears. That test match'll tell you that now.

Dickie Bird31:29

I hope that I don't make make many bad decisions for crying, that I'll be able to see all right from the tears. But that will be something special, very special in my life, that last Test match.

Presenter31:40

Tell me about your last record.

Dickie Bird31:42

My last record, Sue, is Pavarotti singing Ness and Dormar. I've chosen that is because when I was in Barbados, Sue on holiday, I was swimming in the sea and I bumped into this I thought I bumped into a whale in the sea and I looked up and I couldn't believe it. It was Pavarotti. That's why I've chosen this.

Speaker 432:14

What do you like?

Speaker 432:29

La Da Hari Shara

Presenter33:03

Sounds like the crowd at the oval. Luciano Peverotti singing Nesundorma from Puccini's Turundot with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra conducted by Coert Adler. If you could only take one of those records, Sticky, instead of all eight, I wonder which one you'd take.

Dickie Bird33:17

It's a difficult one that's all.

Dickie Bird33:19

I think I'd go for Barbara Streison the way we were. If I had to pick very difficult.

Presenter33:24

What about your book? Because uh the Bible's there already on the island and the complete works of Shakespeare.

Dickie Bird33:29

Yeah, it was difficult, but I chose the wisdom annual because uh

Dickie Bird33:35

As I say, I'm a cricket fanatic and in the Wizard Annual there's everything in there, everything.

Presenter33:41

And what about your luxury?

Dickie Bird33:42

My luxury would be uh a television set.

Dickie Bird33:46

A satellite dish so that I can watch all the Test matches.

Presenter33:51

Dicky Bird, thank you very much indeed for letting us hear your desert island is.

Dickie Bird33:55

I've enjoyed it, so tremendous honour to be on this programme.

Speaker 334:05

You've been listening to a podcast from the Desert Island Discs Archive. For more podcasts, please visit bbc.co.uk/radio four.